Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM

Title: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM
1.  He was raised by rats in the sewers of Boston.  He was later found by the noble family to which he belongs.  He's still not right, though, and will one day shuck his clothing and return to his rightful place as Lord of the Rodents.

2.  He, like Nivek, has a different number of digits on each extremity (yes, that one, too).  This raises questions best left unanswered.

3.  He can - and has - escape any attic.

4.  He can impregnate women with his eyes.  This is why the birthrate in Boston is so high in comparison to the rest of the nation.

5.  He is responsible for male-pattern baldness, out of sheer intimidation.

6.  LMNO cannot actually spell his own name.  The A at the beginning is always left off, much for the same reason as the Aleph was struck off the forehead of the Golem of Prague.

7.  He has an armored ass.  The reasons for this are unclear.

8.  He doesn't really listen to Nightwish.  That is a foul rumor started by his enemies (ie, Boston).

9.  LMNO has been banned from Providence, and old people there still curse his name and spit when he is mentioned.

10.  The Red Sox suck.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:28:52 PM
HE KNOWS TOO MUCH.  :tinfoilhat:
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:29:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:28:52 PM
HE KNOWS TOO MUCH.  :tinfoilhat:

"Rain God".
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Brotep on October 26, 2009, 05:30:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM
6.  LMNO cannot actually spell his own name.  The A at the beginning is always left off, much for the same reason as the Aleph was struck off the forehead of the Golem of Prague.

:lulz:  These types of lists are everywhere on the intertubes, but that was pretty damn creative.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:31:52 PM
Quote from: Brotep on October 26, 2009, 05:30:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM
6.  LMNO cannot actually spell his own name.  The A at the beginning is always left off, much for the same reason as the Aleph was struck off the forehead of the Golem of Prague.

:lulz:

It's a matter of public safety.  LMNO always starts out by saving the day, but then he goes BAD.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:32:10 PM
 :argh!:



Well, I appreciate your discretion for not mentioning the false allegations leveled at my conjoined twin sister.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:33:09 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:32:10 PM
:argh!:



Well, I appreciate your discretion for not mentioning the false allegations leveled at my conjoined twin sister.

Those are ridiculous.  Nobody is that flexible, especially when joined at the right ass cheek.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:33:41 PM
Quote from: Brotep on October 26, 2009, 05:30:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM
6.  LMNO cannot actually spell his own name.  The A at the beginning is always left off, much for the same reason as the Aleph was struck off the forehead of the Golem of Prague.

:lulz:  These types of lists are everywhere on the intertubes, but that was pretty damn creative.

He really does leave the A off his name, though.  Just like the Golem.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Suu on October 26, 2009, 05:35:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM

9.  LMNO has been banned from Providence, and old people there still curse his name and spit when he is mentioned.


This is 100% true by order of the Diktat herself.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:37:35 PM
Oh, come on.  You can't really blame me for that one.  It was an honest mistake... could have happened to anyone.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:39:13 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:37:35 PM
Oh, come on.  You can't really blame me for that one.  It was an honest mistake... could have happened to anyone.

No, it was fucking horrible, and you're lucky they don't extradite you.

And on CHRISTMAS, no less.  What a bastard you are.  The poor little fuckers still shit crooked, and they've all developed multiple sclerosis.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:45:11 PM
I stand by the court documents.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:46:17 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:45:11 PM
I stand by the court documents.

I would, if I were you.  Won't stop a lynch mob, though.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Richter on October 26, 2009, 05:49:50 PM
LMNO has Idi Amin and Cardinal Ratzinger on speed dial.  

LMNO was once flown to Chicago for business.  Due to a scheduling error, he was left to his own devices in a hotel room for a day with cable TV, a telephone, and access to room service on the company card.  The city Chamer of Comerce still shudders at the thought of this day, when the courtesan's guild broke down due to internal conflict.  The concierge still remembers him, and refuses to give back the hat or be addressed as anything other than "Lord Commissar"
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: AFK on October 26, 2009, 05:53:43 PM
LMNO is AKK
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 05:55:24 PM
Oh, you bastard.  You said you wouldn't tell!
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:55:39 PM
Quote from: Richter on October 26, 2009, 05:49:50 PM
LMNO has Idi Amin and Cardinal Ratzinger on speed dial.  

LMNO was once flown to Chicago for business.  Due to a scheduling error, he was left to his own devices in a hotel room for a day with cable TV, a telephone, and access to room service on the company card.  The city Chamer of Comerce still shudders at the thought of this day, when the courtesan's guild broke down due to internal conflict.  The concierge still remembers him, and refuses to give back the hat or be addressed as anything other than "Lord Commissar"

FACT:  Midgets are still banned from that hotel, and there's now a limit on the number of moist towelettes given to any guest.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Suu on October 26, 2009, 05:57:17 PM
I have orders out that LMNO be shot on site if he comes within 1000 ft of the Rhode Island border because of the incident last Easter.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:59:19 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 26, 2009, 05:57:17 PM
I have orders out that LMNO be shot on site if he comes within 1000 ft of the Rhode Island border because of the incident last Easter.

Is that the one where he used live puppies as airsoft ammo?
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: AFK on October 26, 2009, 06:07:31 PM
LMNO was a volunteer for the Mitt Romney Gubernatorial campaign.  He was appointed staff handler.  A position, he unfortunately took far too literally. 
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 06:09:28 PM
Quote from: RWH1N1 on October 26, 2009, 06:07:31 PM
LMNO was a volunteer for the Mitt Romney Gubernatorial campaign.  He was appointed staff handler.  A position, he unfortunately took far too literally. 

Yeah, his turning the name "Gennifer Flowers" into a verb might have been what cost Romney the election.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Suu on October 26, 2009, 06:16:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:59:19 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 26, 2009, 05:57:17 PM
I have orders out that LMNO be shot on site if he comes within 1000 ft of the Rhode Island border because of the incident last Easter.

Is that the one where he used live puppies as airsoft ammo?

The same.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Richter on October 26, 2009, 06:19:19 PM
Special multi - agency legislation from the FBI, ATF, and DHS has been passed on LMNO.
LMNO is banned on principle from owning the following items.

Any musical instrument involving blowing or holes.
Any hose, syringe, baster, water bottle, or other irrigation device larger than an eyedroper.
Kiddie Pools.
More than 4 oz. dry "Jello" product at any one time.
Speculums.
Veterinary equipment.
clothes pins
Coat hangers
Toy rubber animals
Rounded or smooth exercise equipment
Any electrical device designed to transfer current to an outside source.  (Including bug zappers, tazers, "TENS units".  If LMNO needs jumper cables, his state subsidized AAA membership will provide, so long as LMNO stays 30 ft. away while they are in use.)
LMNO is not allowed to have a tiara again.
LMNO is not allowed to purchase stock in adult diaper companies due to anti -trust concerns
LMNO is not allowed to purchase chinchilae, porcupines, hedgehogs, or hamsters on account of his knoweldge of classical conditioning and the "Back Bay" incident.  


Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Suu on October 26, 2009, 06:28:35 PM
Quote from: Richter on October 26, 2009, 06:19:19 PM

LMNO is not allowed to purchase chinchilae, porcupines, hedgehogs, or hamsters on account of his knoweldge of classical conditioning and the "Back Bay" incident.  


(http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/5608/roflbotzmsh.jpg)
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 06:34:49 PM
Jus as an aside, I had to bribe a lot of senior administration officials to allow even an eyedropper.




...It's worth it, though...
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 06:36:16 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 26, 2009, 06:34:49 PM
Jus as an aside, I had to bribe a lot of senior administration officials to allow even an eyedropper.




...It's worth it, though...

You're trusting them to stay bought, LMNO.  They probably just turned you over to the BATF for surviellance.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 26, 2009, 09:16:10 PM
LMNO once told his little niece that he bought that ponie she always wanted, and it was waiting for her in the garden. Excited she ran downstairs.

"You will get the other half tomorrow".
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: . on October 26, 2009, 09:20:07 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 26, 2009, 09:16:10 PM
LMNO once told his little niece that he bought that ponie she always wanted, and it was waiting for her in the garden. Excited she ran downstairs.

"You will get the other half tomorrow".

:lulz: I spat coffee.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2012, 01:45:44 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:31:52 PM
Quote from: Brotep on October 26, 2009, 05:30:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 26, 2009, 05:25:20 PM
6.  LMNO cannot actually spell his own name.  The A at the beginning is always left off, much for the same reason as the Aleph was struck off the forehead of the Golem of Prague.

:lulz:

It's a matter of public safety.  LMNO always starts out by saving the day, but then he goes BAD.

Bump.
Title: Re: A few facts about LMNO.
Post by: Richter on August 27, 2012, 02:01:22 AM
LMNO is the reason we don't have diphthongs in the English language. 

LMNO will occasionally offer visitors "tea".  All those who accept are served just desserts.

LMNO had an uncredited role in the costume design of David Lynch's "Dune"