http://townhall.com/columnists/JohnHawkins/2009/10/20/10_horror_movies_for_conservatives_to_watch_this_halloween
OK. Seriously stop. Now. No, put it all down and stop.
I want to have a little chat. A chat about people who use ideological litmus test's to decide whether or not a piece of art is good. And how appallingly hack-like these people are.
I'm not just saying this because these people are conservatives, which of course does make them easily mockable (not to mention American conservatives do seem to have a very strange relationship with pop-culture, which often makes them guilty of such things). I am saying it, because passing down ideological critiques on films is so appallingly easy and pathetic, even I could do it. Oh look, here is a checklist of my favourite political themes. Oh look, here is a film. How many match up?
No no no. This is not cultural criticism we can believe in. Occasionally, I believe, we should consider the merits of a piece of art, or lack thereof, based on something other than how it aligns with how we vote. Is it done competently? Is it original? Are themes introduced and dealt with in an interesting fashion? Do the characters cause us to become emotionally involved? Whether or not they think abortion is bad is of secondary consideration, unless it is an explicit part of the plot. And I very much doubt arguments for a lower tax rate on those earning over $250,000 per annum is really referenced in any modern horror films, except possible that hideous video they showed at the GOP convention last summer.
When choosing a horror film, I like to know how good it is, how twisty the plot becomes, who is acting in it and, most importantly, if it scares the hell out of me. I do not care if it goes OMG EVIL CORPORATIONS or YAY AMERICAN MILITARY because I don't watch a film to bask in the reflected glory of my worldview, expressed in the medium of cinema. In short, GTFO you Stalinists. I like politics as much as the next person, but its not the deciding factor in every damn thing you do. Unless you are a fanatic.
THIS.
Also, I'd say that the liberals are every bit as bad - or worse - than the conservatives.
As evidence, I offer the banning of "Huckleberry Finn".
This is serious isn't it? This isn't just a troll website created to mock the excesses of the right wing in the US. I suppose that would be too easy for my fragile mind to accept that this is one big joke but there is in fact human beings out there who need some blogger to screen movies for them. Surely if this guy has watched enough movies to make a top 10 conservative horror movies then he has watched a ton of "liberal" movies, Surely he has been irreparably contaminated by watching all that.
And also what kind of logical progression leads someone to believe Cloverfield as the best giant monster movie of all time based on it being "conservative"?
The "I'd rather be waterboarding" shirt in the ad on the left is a very nice touch.
I'm tempted to watch all of these and do a '10 movies for liberals to watch'.
I'm just going to do a Top 10 of Top Ten Movie Lists(In no particular order, This perhaps is what annoyed me most about the original blog he didn't rank them!)
Top Ten Movies not to be watched before December 12th
Top Ten Movies for the Amish
Top Ten Movies not to watch while on board an airplane
Top Ten Movies that involve Artificial Neural Networks
Top Ten Movies that include a Top Ten countdown
Top Ten Movies that break the 4th Wall
Top Ten Movies NOT involving Samuel L. Jackson
Top Ten Movies to distract you from actual work
Top Ten Movies you can watch comfortably with a Grandparent
Top Ten Movies never made
Quote from: Voodoo Chile on October 28, 2009, 06:36:48 PM
Top Ten Movies you can watch comfortably with a Grandparent
With MY grandfather? Better bust out the wilder Cagney flicks. :lulz:
I was giggling a little bit, because I open a page titled "10 Horror Movies For Conservatives To Watch This Halloween", and the first thing I see when the page loads is this image:
(http://media.townhall.com/townhall/palinrogue/palin300x250v2.jpg)
Which, to me, does seem like a good premise for a horror movie, but I wouldn't expect a Conservative site to admit it.
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on October 29, 2009, 12:06:15 AM
I was giggling a little bit, because I open a page titled "10 Horror Movies For Conservatives To Watch This Halloween", and the first thing I see when the page loads is this image:
(http://media.townhall.com/townhall/palinrogue/palin300x250v2.jpg)
Which, to me, does seem like a good premise for a horror movie, but I wouldn't expect a Conservative site to admit it.
This.
So wait, how do you tell when Palin goes rogue, anyway?
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2009, 04:00:29 PM
A chat about people who use ideological litmus test's to decide whether or not a piece of art is good.
Cain, do you not think that
your own ideology and tastes implicitly predetermine what movies you like and which ones you dont? (Even do i agree its sad that these people's sense of identity is being "conservative")
If you say no, then you should post your top 10.
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 04:47:04 AM
Quote from: Cain on October 28, 2009, 04:00:29 PM
A chat about people who use ideological litmus test's to decide whether or not a piece of art is good.
Cain, do you not think that your own ideology and tastes implicitly predetermine what movies you like and which ones you dont? (Even do i agree its sad that these people's sense of identity is being "conservative")
If you say no, then you should post your top 10.
Of course his ideological beliefs will influence his movie selection, however slightly. What he's saying, though, is that ideological beliefs should not be the
only damn thing that determines which movies you watch. You shouldn't watch a movie just so you can have the petty little pleasure of hearing your own worldview coming out of someone else's mouth.
Also, neither should you immediately reject a message because its bias is different from your own (and yes, you
are biased).
Quote from: Sir Remington III on October 29, 2009, 05:33:10 AM
Of course his ideological beliefs will influence his movie selection, however slightly. What he's saying, though, is that ideological beliefs should not be the only damn thing that determines which movies you watch. You shouldn't watch a movie just so you can have the petty little pleasure of hearing your own worldview coming out of someone else's mouth.
Also, neither should you immediately reject a message because its bias is different from your own (and yes, you are biased).
Perhaps you could say your top 10 so theres evidence for or against what im saying?
I don't watch many movies, the Dark Knight is the only one I can think of off-hand.
Gee, wild coincidence that you didnt pick a "chick flick".
Now, if i say i love "Natural Born Killers", its implicitly expressed that i dont have much against murdering for the thrill of it.
For example.
Surely you can watch and like movies that praise your ideology (or even perhaps stuff that is "neutrally charged" to say it somehow) but not filled with things that go against your worldview or ideology.
PS. DOES ANYONE HERE LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 06:25:19 AM
PS. DOES ANYONE HERE LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)
Me?
Whats your point?
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 06:25:19 AMNow, if i say i love "Natural Born Killers", its implicitly expressed that i dont have much against murdering for the thrill of it.
Really? I enjoyed that movie and I'm very much against murdering for the thrill of it.
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 06:25:19 AMSurely you can watch and like movies that praise your ideology (or even perhaps stuff that is "neutrally charged" to say it somehow) but not filled with things that go against your worldview or ideology.
I watch and like movies that tell an interesting story. If a movie is too busy promoting some worldview or ideology to tell an interesting story, then I won't like the movie even if I like the message. If the story is interesting to me, I don't care what worldview it promotes. Why would I want to avoid things that challenge my worldview? Worldviews need to be challenged.
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 06:25:19 AMPS. DOES ANYONE HERE LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)
Me too. I also like Clash of the Titans.
Quote from: JohNyx on October 29, 2009, 06:25:19 AM
Now, if i say i love "Natural Born Killers", its implicitly expressed that i dont have much against murdering for the thrill of it.
For example.
Surely you can watch and like movies that praise your ideology (or even perhaps stuff that is "neutrally charged" to say it somehow) but not filled with things that go against your worldview or ideology.
PS. DOES ANYONE HERE LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Quote from: Voodoo Chile on October 28, 2009, 06:36:48 PM
I'm just going to do a Top 10 of Top Ten Movie Lists(In no particular order, This perhaps is what annoyed me most about the original blog he didn't rank them!)
Top Ten Movies not to be watched before December 12th
Top Ten Movies for the Amish
Top Ten Movies not to watch while on board an airplane
Top Ten Movies that involve Artificial Neural Networks
Top Ten Movies that include a Top Ten countdown
Top Ten Movies that break the 4th Wall
Top Ten Movies NOT involving Samuel L. Jackson
Top Ten Movies to distract you from actual work
Top Ten Movies you can watch comfortably with a Grandparent
Top Ten Movies never made
This is a brilliant idea.
Quote from: Jenne on October 29, 2009, 05:40:27 PM
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Oh, I've got an even better link than FRC: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm
:lulz: Enjoy.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 29, 2009, 11:20:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on October 29, 2009, 05:40:27 PM
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Oh, I've got an even better link than FRC: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm
:lulz: Enjoy.
And we thought shitty gifs and formatting died with geocities.
:lulz: it took them two tries to get through Dogma
Quote from: Cramulus on October 29, 2009, 11:56:15 PM
:lulz: it took them two tries to get through Dogma
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/castaway.htm
Quote
FINDINGS / SCORING:
NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below may be likely, definitely when plural.
Wanton Violence/Crime (W):
in-flight disaster peril
detailed and very graphic plane crash - four dead
survival at sea peril
decaying and brine-bleached body washed ashore appearing it had been nibbled on by sea nibblers
bloody injuries
very detailed and graphic portrayal of tissue necrosis
survival brutality
long-term fixating on bloody image on volley ball as companion, ever to the extent of risking life and limb for it
attempted self-extraction of tooth with ice skate blade
risking of life
talk of suicide
Impudence/Hate (I)(1):
child ignoring police command
open urination
two uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary
Sex/Homosexuality (S):
adults in underwear
sexual innuendo
repeated brief clothing exposing skin typically hidden
cohabitation
brief exposure to pubic hair - male
rear male nudity
married woman kissing old boyfriend with words of adoration and commitment to each other
Drugs/Alcohol (D):
smoking
drinking
dinner wine
party drinking
Offense to God (O)(2):
God's name in vain four times without the four letter expletive and once with
Murder/Suicide (M)(3):
none noted
In-system criticism:
Most of wanton violence/crime is events, not human action.
Talk of Suicide not considered a Suicide topic.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 29, 2009, 11:20:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on October 29, 2009, 05:40:27 PM
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Oh, I've got an even better link than FRC: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm
:lulz: Enjoy.
Thanks. I have been to that site before and I was looking for it, but I couldn't remember the name or URL.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 29, 2009, 11:20:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on October 29, 2009, 05:40:27 PM
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Oh, I've got an even better link than FRC: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm
:lulz: Enjoy.
:x
Srsly.
And I came from this.
We burned fucking Cabbage Patch dolls, because they had "EVIL INFLUENCES" over kids.
Quote from: yhnmzw on October 29, 2009, 11:58:31 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on October 29, 2009, 11:56:15 PM
:lulz: it took them two tries to get through Dogma
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/castaway.htm
Quote
FINDINGS / SCORING:
NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below may be likely, definitely when plural.
Wanton Violence/Crime (W):
in-flight disaster peril
detailed and very graphic plane crash - four dead
survival at sea peril
decaying and brine-bleached body washed ashore appearing it had been nibbled on by sea nibblers
bloody injuries
very detailed and graphic portrayal of tissue necrosis
survival brutality
long-term fixating on bloody image on volley ball as companion, ever to the extent of risking life and limb for it
attempted self-extraction of tooth with ice skate blade
risking of life
talk of suicide
Impudence/Hate (I)(1):
child ignoring police command
open urination
two uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary
Sex/Homosexuality (S):
adults in underwear
sexual innuendo
repeated brief clothing exposing skin typically hidden
cohabitation
brief exposure to pubic hair - male
rear male nudity
married woman kissing old boyfriend with words of adoration and commitment to each other
Drugs/Alcohol (D):
smoking
drinking
dinner wine
party drinking
Offense to God (O)(2):
God's name in vain four times without the four letter expletive and once with
Murder/Suicide (M)(3):
none noted
In-system criticism:
Most of wanton violence/crime is events, not human action.
Talk of Suicide not considered a Suicide topic.
Holy shit! Stick in some ECU anal fisting and that has to be a blueprint for the perfect movie :fap:
Quote from: Jenne on October 30, 2009, 01:16:09 AM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 29, 2009, 11:20:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on October 29, 2009, 05:40:27 PM
I think you're wagging the dog, not Cain. Esp since there's a whole damned website. Also, ever hear of the Family Research Council (http://www.frc.org/)? Lovely bunch of human beings. Take a gander. And then look at what their political platform does. If it were up to them, no one would be able to watch "Natural Born Killers" ever again.
Oh, I've got an even better link than FRC: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/index.htm
:lulz: Enjoy.
:x
Srsly.
And I came from this.
We burned fucking Cabbage Patch dolls, because they had "EVIL INFLUENCES" over kids.
lol, I went to Catholic school until 3rd grade and the principal there, who was a nun, LOVED Cabbage Patch dolls. Had a ton of them on the shelves in her office. Then again, many fundamentalist groups seem to lump Catholics in with pagans and consider them not real Christians, which is obviously true since she allowed these devil dolls in the school.
QuoteGod's name in vain four times without the four letter expletive and once with
Why do these people never remember writing 'God' instead of 'G-d' or similar counts as taking his name in vain?
i was reading their scoring for American Psycho and lolled SOOOO HARD when i got to "sexual obsession over business cards "
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on October 30, 2009, 11:24:02 PM
i was reading their scoring for American Psycho and lolled SOOOO HARD when i got to "sexual obsession over business cards "
:lulz:
Also:
QuoteIf I had not promised a mother of a 12 year old boy with a 13 year old friend who somehow got into this movie -- the 13 year old was apparently "changed" -- that I would conduct the analysis, I would have walked out of the theater just like the theater manager strongly suggested.
He got trolled!!!