They're trying to get me. I see it in their faces. Those smiley faces that are just so happy. Or rather, they think they're happy. They tell me I made a mistake when I broke up with my then-boyfriend. He was so sweet and perfect, just like them. They're all so sweet and perfect. Except for one small detail. They aren't any of those things. All of their smiles, their advice, their habits, Tupperware parties, and luncheons are all so empty, so judgmental. But the funny thing is, or rather, the scary thing is that they have no idea their entire lives are just one big parade. One big endless, vapid parade.
They tell me that my opinions are only that way because I'm young, and don't know any better. They say one day I'll appreciate the idea of having kids, settling down, and having a nice quaint marriage (read: unhappy and sexless) marriage like theirs. One day, they say, I'll want kids. Children that are as unruly, or as unhappy as theirs because Mommy and Daddy have ideals Tommy and Timmy must stick to. When I say that I don't want those things, that I want to actually live, they just smile. Those smiles. They're so empty, so helpless.
But I'll never be like them. Even if I do decide to 'settle down' and have a family. It'll never be like theirs. They're trying to get me.
But they won't.
Personally, I plan to reproduce by donating to a sperm bank, that way I can pass on my DNA without the hassle of dealing with other people, combined with the unique added benefit of actually coming out ahead financially.
Yeah, you distilled what made me so nuts for so long, Lizzie. It was a sorely assholish existence, empty and mind-numbing to boot. I'm so glad I kicked that attitude to the curb. I'm actually a much different person this last decade than I was say 15 or so years ago when I got married.
And I'm the better for it though the journey there was, well, painful to say the least.
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on October 29, 2009, 01:05:57 AM
Personally, I plan to reproduce by donating to a sperm bank, that way I can pass on my DNA without the hassle of dealing with other people, combined with the unique added benefit of actually coming out ahead financially.
Even if they take your sperm (must have a very high count) most donors never get used. FYI.
SPS: :mittens:
Quote from: Nigel on October 29, 2009, 02:33:55 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on October 29, 2009, 01:05:57 AM
Personally, I plan to reproduce by donating to a sperm bank, that way I can pass on my DNA without the hassle of dealing with other people, combined with the unique added benefit of actually coming out ahead financially.
Even if they take your sperm (must have a very high count) most donors never get used. FYI.
SPS: :mittens:
It still probably gives me a better chance than the traditional route...
They're trying to make me indoctrinate the children. It's October, which means chapel has started for the year. This place is like a factory where we turn innocent children into mind slaves. Mind slaves who are only built to serve the perpetual ignorant ideals of the women. The women who are after me. They're after my soul. I can resist for only so long before I am ensnared in their trap.
"Here", they say. "Have some cheesecake! It's so delicious. It's even pumpkin flavored for halloween!" Everyone thinks the little pumpkin decorations are so cute. Especially the little Jack-O-Lantern prayer. How adorable. This cheesecake is starting to make my head fuzzy. They're right, it is delicious, and these decorations are so adorable. Maybe it is ok to tell the children it's for the best if god destroys a civilization because they were 'wicked' in his eyes. I mean, the world doesn't need more wicked people does it? Oh god...they're starting to get to me. It feels like my brain is bleeding now. I fear I might not make it out of this place alive.
Great stuff, Lizzy! And, .. hang in there! They won't take that from you, your state of mind!