It happens sometimes. It's easier than it should be, you know. It's easy to pull up the carpets we throw down over everything, easy to see all the shit we hide beneath our mind. You just have to imagine it. Visualise it. That's how I do it. I look around me, I see gravel, I see a house and leaf piles and trees and a dumpster and a city around it all. I don't really look at the sky.
Anyway, I just have to think the right thoughts, and it all goes away, it all becomes alien to me, nameless. I just have to think "there is no such thing as a house." That thought is key for me. I think it, and I've just opened up this barred door and strolled down the hallway. The inmates must be so jealous. Suddenly, I see not house, but windows, then doors, then siding, all one at a time, floating in midair. And then I look around me, and I see this invisible sheet over everything, this crazy blanket. And I peel it back. Underneath, the shapes are the same, and the colours are the same, but they aren't the same things. It's now that I'm finally free to decide what I see. Hey, that rhymes.
I tell myself to be paranoid. Something is behind me! I whirl to see it, but it was too fast for me. Gotta keep looking over your shoulder, cause you never know who's got a gun at your back. And it's then that it occurs to me. I can feel it. It's poking into me. The gun is there. It's a rifle, no, a shotgun, fuck that, it's a pistol at the base of my skull. I don't know who's holding it. I keep twisting my head around to see it, but the gunman's too fast for me. Then I think to look at my shadow. I just want to know what this person looks like, understand. Just want a vague idea. And there is no shadow.
There's no shadow because the gun is invisible. The gun is invisible because it's in my mind. I know who's holding it now. And really, it doesn't matter if it's a gun or not. It could be a truncheon. What matters is who's holding it. And that person is my guard. I guess I'd better go inside now. It's black and wet out here, and I'm a crazyman. I submit, and walk back towards my cell. I guess I still haven't given up completely, though, because I figure maybe I should stop in my tracks, turn, walk away from that imaginary house. But the gun is still there. No matter where I go, I will always have this invisible gun to my head. No matter where I walk, I will only be walking back to my black iron prison cell. It's fucking depressing. I go inside, up the stairs, I take off my coat. Sometimes, hope is hard to find. I guess I have to make it up myself.
So yeah, this is my first time doing this. What do you guys think?
Quote from: xXShRuNkEnxHeAdxSpAcEXx on November 01, 2009, 05:35:26 AM
Anyway, I just have to think the right thoughts, and it all goes away, it all becomes alien to me, nameless. I just have to think "there is no such thing as a house." That thought is key for me. I think it, and I've just opened up this barred door and strolled down the hallway. The inmates must be so jealous. Suddenly, I see not house, but windows, then doors, then siding, all one at a time, floating in midair. And then I look around me, and I see this invisible sheet over everything, this crazy blanket. And I peel it back. Underneath, the shapes are the same, and the colours are the same, but they aren't the same things. It's now that I'm finally free to decide what I see. Hey, that rhymes.
:barstool:
Quote from: xXShRuNkEnxHeAdxSpAcEXx on November 01, 2009, 05:35:26 AM
Or kill me.
I dont think you should arbitrarly utilize "Or kill me" to finish a piece in this part of the forum... to me it seems its not... like... uhhhhhhh.... my interpretation of the phrase "or kill me" is in a tone of defiance, and the tone of this piece doesnt seem that defiant.
Quote from: xXShRuNkEnxHeAdxSpAcEXx on November 01, 2009, 05:35:26 AM
I guess I'd better go inside now... I submit, and walk back towards my cell...
the origins of "or kill me" seem to me related to "Give me liberty, or give me death" speech... ok im just rambling so im gonna stop... NOW. *mumbles*
Yeah, it's pretty awful. I didn't go into it expecting it to be good. I'm not really sure why I wrote it.
Quote from: Shrunkenheadspace on November 01, 2009, 06:31:15 AM
Yeah, it's pretty awful. I didn't go into it expecting it to be good. I'm not really sure why I wrote it.
Don't beat yourself up. Everyone starts somewhere, it was pretty good for a first try.
Quote from: Shrunkenheadspace on November 01, 2009, 05:35:26 AM
It happens sometimes. It's easier than it should be, you know. It's easy to pull up the carpets we throw down over everything, easy to see all the shit we hide beneath our mind. You just have to imagine it. Visualise it. That's how I do it. I look around me, I see gravel, I see a house and leaf piles and trees and a dumpster and a city around it all. I don't really look at the sky.
Personally, I never see the shit. Never have. I look around me and everything looks fine, seems fine, maybe even
is fine. The smell always wafts up though, that sickening smell -not strong, just a faint whiff- that whispers that things could be different. That things could be better.
See, I knew I'd go stupid eventually. It always happens to me on the Internet when I try to express or articulate my opinion. I knew it would happen, but I kept telling myself no, it would be different here, I'd somehow learn how not to be an idiot.
Fuck you, me. You suck. Go live on a mountain or something and come back when you know how to be original in your thinking. Dickhead teenager. I hate teenagers, you know.
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST SOME SELF-INDULGENT BULLSHIT, MOVE ALONG
(http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4313/ultrafap.gif)
:fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:
Quote from: Wolfy McWolfmeister on November 01, 2009, 07:37:52 AM
See, I knew I'd go stupid eventually. It always happens to me on the Internet when I try to express or articulate my opinion. I knew it would happen, but I kept telling myself no, it would be different here, I'd somehow learn how not to be an idiot.
Fuck you, me. You suck. Go live on a mountain or something and come back when you know how to be original in your thinking. Dickhead teenager. I hate teenagers, you know.
NO, FUCK YOU, YUO ARE TEH TEENAGERZ
it's even worse that he strikethrough'ed it, instead of deleting it, so we could all read the angsty whine that he "deleted" (but not really) and tell him that it's really not so bad or something.
except --thank Goddess-- this is PD and we won't.
:|
1. if you'd be subtle about it, you know, that might actually work on some people
2. but in the end I think everyone would be the more happy for it if you'd just GROW SOME SPINE, BY YOURSELF
3. cause if you ask for it, you get constructive criticism, which is directed at the thing you wrote and not at your person
that is all
btw I didn't read your initial post yet. for all I know, it might be brilliant.
I wasn't asking for attention when I strikethrough'd it, I just thought it would come across as making fun of myself. Though that is actually what I think of myself. I don't really see any way of redeeming myself in this thread, though, so I guess I should stop typing this and put what energy I have into something constructive.
Quote from: Wolfydarkdemonwolf666wolfhowlingatthemoonwolfwolfwolfwolfwol on November 03, 2009, 12:54:44 AM
I wasn't asking for attention when I strikethrough'd it, I just thought it would come across as making fun of myself. Though that is actually what I think of myself. I don't really see any way of redeeming myself in this thread, though, so I guess I should stop typing this and put what energy I have into something constructive.
Fucking change your goddamn screen name, you retarded lump of shit. You're completely fucking the formatting, you goddamn tool.
who's this emo kid?
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on November 03, 2009, 02:23:30 AM
who's this emo kid?
He mostly seems okay. He just decided to get cute with his user name without thinking it all the way through.
SIGH