Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on November 20, 2009, 11:52:15 PM

Title: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on November 20, 2009, 11:52:15 PM
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Of course, reports of "creepy gnomes" aren't restricted to the United States. In fact, readers of this blog may recall posts around March of 2008 dealing with a "creepy gnome" seen around the Salta province of Argentina. Strangely, this creature was described as looking very much like a typical gnome as represented in Germanic folklore; culturally, this creates a few problems. To quote myself from the original article, "For the reasons above, culturally there are many problems with a "gnome" appearing in Argentina; for instance, these creatures are a part of the folklore of mostly northern and eastern Europe, having been known famously by such names as Kaukis and Tomten in Germanic traditions, as well as Barbegazi further south in France. Having been a part of the culture of this region for centuries, one might find it more credible if reports of a "gnome" were seen here, especially with his trademark pointed hat." Apparently, these creepy gnomes no nothing of culture when it comes to where they decide they want to appear.

Are there indeed strange, very small "spirit folk", or "fairies" which exist in remote areas around the world? Could they be strange, hidden races of "hobbits" which exist primarily underground, hidden from view? Or could they be mere folklore, nothing more than legends that represent some weird archetypal element in the human psyche?

Source: http://gralienreport.com/fortean-phenomena/land-of-the-roamin-gnomes-southern-little-people-and-gnomes-abroad/

Skip to creepy youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKL9eKRFBYo&feature=related
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Jasper on November 20, 2009, 11:57:25 PM
Oh, excellent! I hope they come to Portland.  I could really use a race of easily throwable humanoid sentients.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on November 21, 2009, 12:45:36 AM
http://gralienreport.com/uncategorized/creepy-gnome-causes-stir-in-south-america/

More argentinian gnome sightings.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Jasper on November 21, 2009, 01:10:53 AM
Yeah, saw that one a while ago.  Still not sure what to make of it.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Cain on November 21, 2009, 12:04:55 PM
Yeah, some of the "gnome sighting" videos are pretty good.  To the point that I've wondered if we're not dealing with professional pranksters here.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on November 21, 2009, 03:06:30 PM
Or professional gnomes? I have no clue what could make that kind of shape, and there's no evidence of cuts, which means that if it was done professionally they must have set the stuff up before starting filming and timed it to work out perfectly, or digitally edited a vague shape on later.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Template on November 21, 2009, 04:00:32 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on November 21, 2009, 03:06:30 PM
Or professional gnomes? I have no clue what could make that kind of shape, and there's no evidence of cuts, which means that if it was done professionally they must have set the stuff up before starting filming and timed it to work out perfectly, or digitally edited a vague shape on later.

Film in HD, edit, degrade image, compress as shit, upload to Youtube.

???
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on November 21, 2009, 04:37:00 PM
Maybe. The lighting was right, though, and most seemed to be legit in the claim that it was a phonecam.

It's odd that all of these are popping up in argentinia, though.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Cain on December 19, 2009, 03:51:20 PM
Good call on the Hopkinsville stuff.  That was incredibly weird, I've read about it elsewhere.  I suppose if you were going to draw parallels, there are worse ones to consider.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Cain on December 19, 2009, 04:12:16 PM
There was one in South America where a policeman went missing for a week, and claimed he was abducted by some sort of strange dwarf-like creature, which performed a kind of initiation ceremony on him.  Apparently sightings like that are quite common down there, as are UFOs that appear to cause injuries and even death to people who get too close (like the Colares UFO incident).  Any link between the two is unknown.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 19, 2009, 04:22:30 PM
I've got one of those living at my house...
here's a picture that, although a couple years old, clearly shows it's garb...
(http://i517.photobucket.com/albums/u337/mtdozier/Henry_Gnome_small.jpg)

Crrrreeeeeepy!
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Cain on December 19, 2009, 04:24:40 PM
I used to kidnap garden gnomes and set them free.

I believe I am still the only British-based commander in the FLNJ (Garden Gnome Liberation Front).
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 19, 2009, 04:29:21 PM
I've got a neighbor down the street that has about 20 of them in his yard.  he actually did it well, there's only a couple that are obvious.  the rest you really have to look for.

as a commander of the FLNJ, how would you recommend liberating them?
what has been your most successful tactic? 
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Cain on December 19, 2009, 04:31:47 PM
Having a job where you can easily go on other peoples property (paper boy, in my case) for recon, and then going in very early in the morning, stealing as many as possible, and moving them to the release zone.  Which in my case was usually across the road, with amusing signs about gnome liberation.

I lived in an especially boring village for several years, and it shows
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on December 19, 2009, 04:32:37 PM
Quote from: BAI on December 19, 2009, 04:07:27 PM
QuoteI suppose if you were going to draw parallels, there are worse ones to consider.

sounds ominous. go on then, do tell. I can think of an old one where a man is dragged out of his bed by a small evil gnome type being, but I'm pretty sure that was in The Unexplained mag back in the 80's, and I can't seem to find it on the web. I can recall that there used to be a tonne of ufo abduction reports about small clawed gnome like creatures, some blue, some not, but all said to be sinister.


Sounds familiar, but that shit seems to happen across the board with all entities.

Quote(http://www.hillbilly7.com/images/gnomespec.jpg) this turns up in a google image search of gnome sightings.

not that gnomic really.

Seems like it's a normal-sized person shot from a long distance.
Quote
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DWARFS

Diminutive humans who have allegedly been encountered in or near caverns in various parts of the world, including northern California and the south-eastern Arizona / south-western New Mexico region and in some in connection to UFO's, although most reported 'dwarf' sightings in connection to UFO's are actually sightings of the saurian 'greys'. These should not be confused with the small 'elementals' or 'nature spirits' which some believe are ethereal in nature yet have the ability to appear in solid or semi-solid form at times. The Dwarf races are allegedly just as human as surface peoples but average between 3 to 4 ft. in height, although at times they have been seen as small as two feet. As with the 'giants' or 'Els' this diminutivity may have resulted in a genetic anomaly which ran it's course due to the separation of their race(s) from the International 'gene pool'. They allegedly live in subterranean systems to a large extent as a 'protective' measure. And as we've said, some allegedly possess 'aerial disk' technology and interplanetary travel capabilities.

  :argh!: Northern California. fuuuuuuuu-

This is what gives cryptozoology a bad name.  :argh!:
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 19, 2009, 05:31:15 PM
My old room mate was a missionary's kid and they did a stint over in the Philippines.  he related a good number of strange things he saw over there.  one was that there would be traveling shows that would show off oddities.  several times he said that the primary exhibition would be "elves".  they were people that had the proportions of adults but were about 2-3 feet tall.  he said they would just stand there (no elf acrobatics.  they obviously were not 'in on the trick', they were captured)  the showman would then pull their pants down to show that they were fully matured adults.  He said that the understanding was that these 'elves' lived in some of the forests over there.
I guess if i were a 2 ft tall dude, i would try to hide rather than be captured for a show, too....
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 19, 2009, 05:33:30 PM
They can be pretty creepy at times...
(http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/Voyeur%20gnome.gif)
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: BadBeast on February 05, 2011, 10:22:00 AM
Quote from: Iptuous on December 19, 2009, 05:33:30 PM
They can be pretty creepy at times...
(http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/Voyeur%20gnome.gif)
They certainly can. I found this fucker in my kitchen.

(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/3c2fab8c-ef56-424b-af2c-a0dee4f12367-1.jpg)Said he wanted to go fishing in my pond. I almost said "If you're going to go fishing, where's your rod?" But restrained myself, instead, I just set the Unicorn on him.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Jenne on February 10, 2011, 07:42:01 PM
That oldster has quite a fine body.  Remove the head and he could be in his 30's.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: BadBeast on February 11, 2011, 12:43:47 PM
Quote from: Jenne on February 10, 2011, 07:42:01 PM
That oldster has quite a fine body.  Remove the head and he could be in his 30's.
Gnomes age differently to Humans. Apparently he is 467 years old, which is quite young among his people. But he's still useless at fishing. As Gnomes are Earth Elementals, the Undines ensure any enterprise they embark on involving Water, is doomed to fail. Doesn't stop the tenacious little buggers from trying though.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Jenne on February 12, 2011, 03:46:04 AM
My cousin collected them...and now people are stealing them from her front yard.  CRAZY!
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: BadBeast on February 12, 2011, 08:12:54 AM
Quote from: Jenne on February 12, 2011, 03:46:04 AM
My cousin collected them...and now people are stealing them from her front yard.  CRAZY!
We had a spate of Gnome "Thefts" in the town I used to live in. Then the postcards started coming in. There would be a picture of their Gnome, stood outside the Taj Mahal, or the Kremlin, or some other exotic place, and a message saying they were enjoying their holiday. But could they please send some money for the fare home. Of course, no money was sent, but a few weeks later, there would be another card from Peru, with a picture of the Gnome at Machu Picchu saying they were taking the long way home, and may be delayed a while. The person whose Gnome it was sent the cards to the local paper, who were always struggling to find something newsworthy to print. About four years later, they looked out the window, and the Gnome was sat on his rock, by the pond, as if he'd never been away. So it might not be thefts, they might just be off on their travels.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Disco Pickle on February 22, 2011, 02:17:07 PM
no bullshit: my landlord who lives downstairs has socks laid out under the house basement area for the gnomes.  I have some pictures of the socks somewhere on my home computer.  get a few drinks in him and he'll tell you all about them.

It's sooo hard to keep a straight face.

I've been thinking it would be a great idea to replace them with underwear.
Title: Re: Gnomes invade north and south america
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on February 22, 2011, 03:04:09 PM
When I was in high school, we once saved a large number of gnomes from their garden prisons around the area and circled the courthouse with them.  We gave them all signs with all kinds of demands.  Equal rights for gnomes.  Gnomes are people too...  etc..

While we thought it was hilarious, the police did not find it as amusing  :sad: