Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM

Title: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 29, 2009, 01:18:44 AM
:vom:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 29, 2009, 01:19:35 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

NICE.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Brotep on November 29, 2009, 01:21:26 AM
QuoteAwww man, poop in MY water?

I usually charge a fee for that, but for you, Nigel...This one's on the house.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 29, 2009, 02:08:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

Jesus. Since I haven't been here long enough to be seriously aggravated by the West Hills yuppies, I actually feel kinda sorry for them.

Kinda.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 02:21:57 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 29, 2009, 02:08:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

Jesus. Since I haven't been here long enough to be seriously aggravated by the West Hills yuppies, I actually feel kinda sorry for them.

Kinda.

Just contemplate: Art Alexakis lives over there. That means it is not terribly unlikely that Art Alexakis has consumed poop-tainted water in the last 24 hours.

Rejoice.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Richter on November 29, 2009, 03:37:49 AM
They are out of cake, let them eat shit.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on November 29, 2009, 03:44:38 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

:lulz: Hope they be boilin, for their sake.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 04:06:46 AM
They be boilin'
We be hatin'
Tryin'a catch them with dysentery
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on November 29, 2009, 04:08:42 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 04:06:46 AM
They be boilin'
We be hatin'
Tryin'a catch them with dysentery

They think we so dumb and dirty
Why they think we so dumb and dirty
They think we so dumb and dirty,
They the ones who so dumb and dirty.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Telarus on November 29, 2009, 05:24:02 AM
Sweet, saw the map and I'm totally west of the affected area.

http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=51580&a=274542
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 29, 2009, 09:00:42 AM
Quote from: Kai on November 29, 2009, 04:08:42 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 04:06:46 AM
They be boilin'
We be hatin'
Tryin'a catch them with dysentery

They think we so dumb and dirty
Why they think we so dumb and dirty
They think we so dumb and dirty,
They the ones who so dumb and dirty.

holy crap  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Subtract Eight! on November 29, 2009, 10:43:25 AM
how can 1 poop fit in a water??
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 29, 2009, 10:57:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 02:21:57 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 29, 2009, 02:08:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

Jesus. Since I haven't been here long enough to be seriously aggravated by the West Hills yuppies, I actually feel kinda sorry for them.

Kinda.

Just contemplate: Art Alexakis lives over there. That means it is not terribly unlikely that Art Alexakis has consumed poop-tainted water in the last 24 hours.

Rejoice.

:lulz:


I'm actually the one who was trolling the Mercury comments last week in defense of Art after that god-awful "interview" piece with him they published.

Not that I'm an Everclear fan, but I think I like Art more than I like the idiots who wrote and/or supported that article. I've actually heard from people who's opinions I trust that he is incredibly nice in person.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 29, 2009, 05:49:39 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 29, 2009, 10:57:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 02:21:57 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 29, 2009, 02:08:15 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 29, 2009, 01:16:58 AM
http://www.portlandonline.com/water/

Actually, I'm on the East side, which I routinely thank my lucky stars for, but those rich motherfuckers up in the West hills be drinking fecal matter, yo!  :lulz:

Jesus. Since I haven't been here long enough to be seriously aggravated by the West Hills yuppies, I actually feel kinda sorry for them.

Kinda.

Just contemplate: Art Alexakis lives over there. That means it is not terribly unlikely that Art Alexakis has consumed poop-tainted water in the last 24 hours.

Rejoice.

:lulz:


I'm actually the one who was trolling the Mercury comments last week in defense of Art after that god-awful "interview" piece with him they published.

Not that I'm an Everclear fan, but I think I like Art more than I like the idiots who wrote and/or supported that article. I've actually heard from people who's opinions I trust that he is incredibly nice in person.

I don't ever read the Mercury and I don't care one way or another about Everclear, but no, actually he's kind of a dick in person IME.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 29, 2009, 07:36:59 PM
Either way, there are plenty of other poop-drinkers to rejoice over!
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on November 29, 2009, 10:33:47 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on November 29, 2009, 07:36:59 PM
Either way, there are plenty of other poop-drinkers to rejoice over!

For example, my asshole brother lives over there.

:banana:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!

Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: LMNO on November 30, 2009, 08:33:29 PM
There is poop in just about everything.  So yeah, it does come down to "acceptable level".

LMNO
-if that freaks you out, avoid all public places.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 30, 2009, 09:46:02 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721

?

"Total Dissolved Solids" is the term that includes fecal matter.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Richter on November 30, 2009, 10:42:52 PM
You give some people jenkem on tap, and all they do is bitch.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on November 30, 2009, 11:30:10 PM
:\ just because people are rich it doesnt mean they deserve to drink poop
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2009, 12:06:28 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on November 30, 2009, 11:30:10 PM
:\ just because people are rich it doesnt mean they deserve to drink poop

what? of COURSE it does.

Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 01, 2009, 12:38:51 AM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 09:46:02 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721

?

"Total Dissolved Solids" is the term that includes fecal matter.

By that definition, all water everywhere has poop in it. Mouse poop, elk poop, whatever. Once it's decomposed and no longer a bacterial risk, it's not poop, it's dirt.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 01, 2009, 12:39:35 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on November 30, 2009, 11:30:10 PM
:\ just because people are rich it doesnt mean they deserve to drink poop

Hey, I have rich friends who live over there and even THEY thought it was funny. Plus, at least they can afford health care...
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on December 01, 2009, 01:48:00 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 01, 2009, 12:38:51 AM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 09:46:02 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721

?

"Total Dissolved Solids" is the term that includes fecal matter.

By that definition, all water everywhere has poop in it. Mouse poop, elk poop, whatever. Once it's decomposed and no longer a bacterial risk, it's not poop, it's dirt.

Yeah, I'd be more concerned about heavy metals, coliform bacteria, and VOC levels than "dissolved solids".
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 01, 2009, 01:50:44 AM
I'd be worried about all those homeopathic medicines that people dump in the water. Since water has a memory and light is energy and stuff and also quantum, the less of the active ingredient there is, the more powerful the mixture is.

So basically the ocean at this point is a soup of incredibly powerful homeopathic remedies.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on December 01, 2009, 01:58:10 AM
Quote from: Cainad on December 01, 2009, 01:50:44 AM
I'd be worried about all those homeopathic medicines that people dump in the water. Since water has a memory and light is energy and stuff and also quantum, the less of the active ingredient there is, the more powerful the mixture is.

So basically the ocean at this point is a soup of incredibly powerful homeopathic remedies.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on December 01, 2009, 01:58:38 AM
Ouch, my brain.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Freeky on December 01, 2009, 02:02:57 AM
Quote from: Cainad on December 01, 2009, 01:50:44 AM
I'd be worried about all those homeopathic medicines that people dump in the water. Since water has a memory and light is energy and stuff and also quantum, the less of the active ingredient there is, the more powerful the mixture is.

So basically the ocean at this point is a soup of incredibly powerful homeopathic remedies.

So we drink sea water and be all cured. Makes sense to me.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2009, 02:15:51 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 01, 2009, 12:38:51 AM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 09:46:02 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721

?

"Total Dissolved Solids" is the term that includes fecal matter.

By that definition, all water everywhere has poop in it. Mouse poop, elk poop, whatever. Once it's decomposed and no longer a bacterial risk, it's not poop, it's dirt.

OH. MY. GOD.

ARE YOU SAYING ALL DIRT IS POOP?

:walken:
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on December 01, 2009, 02:26:20 AM
well, the organic matter in soil /is/ decayed plant and animal parts and waste, including poop...
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Brotep on December 01, 2009, 04:47:31 AM
According to the principles of homeopathy, the poop in the water confers anti-poopal properties.  This means it will protect you from and counteract the effects of poop.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Richter on December 01, 2009, 12:59:00 PM
IT WAS ALL STARS ONCE.

WE ARE ALL MADE OF STARS.

WE ARE SHITTING STARS TOO!

::off to leave a singularity in the workplace john::
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Kai on December 01, 2009, 01:01:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 01, 2009, 12:59:00 PM
IT WAS ALL STARS ONCE.

WE ARE ALL MADE OF STARS.

WE ARE SHITTING STARS TOO!

::off to leave a singularity in the workplace john::

Man, shitting stars is painful.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: LMNO on December 01, 2009, 01:24:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 01, 2009, 01:50:44 AM
I'd be worried about all those homeopathic medicines that people dump in the water. Since water has a memory and light is energy and stuff and also quantum, the less of the active ingredient there is, the more powerful the mixture is.

So basically the ocean at this point is a soup of incredibly powerful homeopathic remedies.


:mittens:

and

WIN.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: AFK on December 01, 2009, 05:13:24 PM
Life is Poop, and then you flush.

This, and other witty one-liners available for the low-low price of $19.95.  Just send a check and money order to RWHN Industries.  Have a nice day!
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 01, 2009, 06:49:21 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 01, 2009, 02:15:51 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 01, 2009, 12:38:51 AM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 09:46:02 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on November 30, 2009, 08:31:04 PM
Quote from: Doctor Rat Bastard on November 30, 2009, 03:11:27 PM
When I was in eighth grade, I did my science fair project on the quality of drinking water in rural areas versus urban areas. I learned several things... and have since sworn off of water for something safer like lye, mercury and coffee.

1. All city water has solid waste in it... including poop. The only difference in this case, the poop level is above the acceptable ratio.
2. No one had realized there was still a single length of lead pipe between the street and the house I grew up in... (explains a lot doesn't it?)
3. Pure water doesn't conduct electricity.
4. Even though all the chemicals seem harmlesss you should not dump all of your samples into a single large plastic cup after the presentation is done. The resulting brew eats plastic.
5. HOLY FUCK THERE IS "ACCEPTABLE" POOP IN MY WATER???!!!!!



You forgot to e-prime. http://www.portlandonline.com/water/index.cfm?c=29551&a=244721

?

"Total Dissolved Solids" is the term that includes fecal matter.

By that definition, all water everywhere has poop in it. Mouse poop, elk poop, whatever. Once it's decomposed and no longer a bacterial risk, it's not poop, it's dirt.

OH. MY. GOD.

ARE YOU SAYING ALL DIRT IS POOP?

:walken:

Yes.
Title: Re: Awww man, poop in MY water?
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 01, 2009, 08:53:52 PM
This whole last page = :lulz: