We're going to start you off with a couple of delicious, but lazy, recipes.
Delicious Stir-Fry is Delicious.
Ingredients Required:
1 package of pre-cut meat. Be it Shrimp, Chicken Breasts, Fish, whatever. If it's Chicken Breasts, Fish, or steak, you will have to cut it into small pieces, which means more work.
1 package of frozen mixed vegetables
OR
4 Cans of various vegetables, preferably mixed vegetables.
1 package boiled, but unseasoned ramen noodles.
Seasonings required:
1 package of ramen seasoning, stolen from the above bag of boiled noodles.
1 tbsp garlic salt.
1/3 to 1/2 cup of any of the following sauces:
Teriyaki
Soy
Sweet and Sour
AND
Salt, Pepper, and more garlic salt to taste.
If Vegetables are canned, strain all that watery stuff, and throw them into the pan at the same time as the meat, if the vegetables are frozen, give them a minute or two alone, with the sauce of choice.
The next part is pretty simple. Turn the element on about 3/4 of the way to full power. Put everything into the frying pan. All of it. Spices last, vegetables and meat first. Then just stir it up a lot. You don't have to cook chicken that long, and fish either. 3 or 4 minutes at the most, if it's cut up right. Steak, on the other hand you'll want in for at least 6 to 9. Prawns/shrimp are a completely different story, it depends on how they are purchased. If they are pre-cooked, you can pretty much throw them in just long enough to warm them up, perhaps 2 minutes. Otherwise, 4 or 5 to be safe.
Keep in mind that the meat like steak, which takes longer to cook, may cause the vegetables to wilt, so you may want to put it in a couple minutes in, rather than right at first.
It is delicious, and can serve 2 to 3 light-eaters, or 1 very hungry person.
:sad:
What? :(
Lazy recipes make me sad.
Yeah. Well it might make some people happy. I like lazy recipes. :)
Quote from: Luigi on December 02, 2009, 05:26:58 AM
Yeah. Well it might make some people happy. I like lazy recipes. :)
I agree!
THERE ISNT ANY FLOUR IN THIS RECIPE :argh!:
...it was a pun on words. Sheesh.
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 06:21:17 PM
...it was a pun on words. Sheesh.
... I don't get it. :?
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 03, 2009, 06:27:56 PM
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 06:21:17 PM
...it was a pun on words. Sheesh.
... I don't get it. :?
Fire Flour, as opposed to Fire Flower. It makes mario spit fireballs.
^Thanks. :)
Yuus.
Mistress Freeky -
Loves the Mario. And Bowser too.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on December 03, 2009, 06:31:07 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 03, 2009, 06:27:56 PM
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 06:21:17 PM
...it was a pun on words. Sheesh.
... I don't get it. :?
Fire Flour, as opposed to Fire Flower. It makes mario spit fireballs.
Ohhhh
I don't think I ever knew what those things were called. But then, it's been a long time, and I'm old, so I may simply have forgotten.
The Right Reverend Nigel:
You are suffering from not enough fun. I recommend at least 1 hour of oldschool mario games. :)
-Dr. Luigi
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:08:18 PM
The Right Reverend Nigel:
You are suffering from not enough fun. I recommend at least 1 hour of oldschool mario games. :)
-Dr. Luigi
That's very sweet. :) However, I am actually suffering from too much fun, none of which involves a video screen, and I need to spend more time sleeping.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 03, 2009, 07:17:26 PM
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:08:18 PM
The Right Reverend Nigel:
You are suffering from not enough fun. I recommend at least 1 hour of oldschool mario games. :)
-Dr. Luigi
That's very sweet. :) However, I am actually suffering from too much fun, none of which involves a video screen, and I need to spend more time sleeping.
There is a song that asks what too much fun is, and never actually comes to a conclusion. And there can never be too much fun!
See, look at this shit:
http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/11/big_sink_hole_closes_soccer_fi.html
I'm going to go drink champagne by that sinkhole later tonight. You can't get fun like this on a screen.
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:21:47 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 03, 2009, 07:17:26 PM
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:08:18 PM
The Right Reverend Nigel:
You are suffering from not enough fun. I recommend at least 1 hour of oldschool mario games. :)
-Dr. Luigi
That's very sweet. :) However, I am actually suffering from too much fun, none of which involves a video screen, and I need to spend more time sleeping.
There is a song that asks what too much fun is, and never actually comes to a conclusion. And there can never be too much fun!
Too much fun can kill you, or you're not doing it right.
"If at first you don't succeed..."
Recipe 2: Delicious Pizza for two:
1) Buy a frozen pizza from the store. Also buy at least two litres of pop per two people eating. If more than 4 people are eating, buy more pizzas. If more than one person weighs more than 300 pounds, buy many more pizzas. If one person weighs more than many 300 pound people, consult a medical practice immediately.
2) Rent/Buy/Illegally download((Not that I especially encourage this behavior, or partake it myself *wink wink*)) at least two movies. If this is a date, avoid the pornographic kind, unless you are both into the same kinds of porn.
3) Follow the directions on the box for how to cook the pizza.
4) Eat the pizza.
Too energy-intensive?
"Fast, Lazy Way":
1) Google, or use yellow-pages to find a decent local pizza shop that delivers pizza and pop. Have them deliver it. Follow steps 2 and 4 above.
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:43:34 PM
Recipe 2: Delicious Pizza for two:
1) Buy a frozen pizza from the store. Also buy at least two litres of pop per two people eating. If more than 4 people are eating, buy more pizzas. If more than one person weighs more than 300 pounds, buy many more pizzas. If one person weighs more than many 300 pound people, consult a medical practice immediately.
2) Rent/Buy/Illegally download((Not that I especially encourage this behavior, or partake it myself *wink wink*)) at least two movies. If this is a date, avoid the pornographic kind, unless you are both into the same kinds of porn.
3) Follow the directions on the box for how to cook the pizza.
4) Eat the pizza.
Too energy-intensive?
"Fast, Lazy Way":
1) Google, or use yellow-pages to find a decent local pizza shop that delivers pizza and pop. Have them deliver it. Follow steps 2 and 4 above.
Is this some sort of scheme for making Discordians tremendously fat?
Not at all. This is just a delicious, nutritious, and fast snack on the go. Coincidentally, "Delicious Chinese Food for two"
1) Find a chinese restaurant in the phone book.
2) Order good chinese food.
3) Nom good chinese food.
:)
This is taking an unfortunate turn for the pineal.
You aren't one of my children, are you? Goddamnit, get off the board!
A non-lazy recipe:
Luigi's spicy Ribs recipe((Mario once said "Mama Mia! The flames didn't stop shooting out of my arsehole for two whole days!"))
Required Ingredients:
1 Rack of ribs per 2 people attending.
1 cup of Bullseye Buffalo Barbecue Sauce
5 TBSP of Curry
1 tsp each Salt, Pepper
Ketchup, as needed.
Optional:
Pretty much anything spicy. Like Cajun Seasoning. About a tablespoon or so.
6-8 hours before barbecuing:
Boil the fuck out of those ribs. Just stick them in a big pot with water in it, and leave it on about 3/4 power, for 6-8 hours.
5-10 minutes before barbecuing:
Pour all other ingredients into a bowl. Mix it up like crazy. You can use a blender, if you have too. Add ketchup to make it good and sticky.
Barbecue time:
Spread sauce over the ribs with a spoon.
Throw those ribs on the barbie. No, you idiot, not the doll. The Barbecue.
You don't need to cook them on the barbecue, they're already cooked. You just want to make the sauce a little charred.
Serve immediately with potatoe chips, french fries, or mashed potatoes. Salad is a sin.
Ok, I don't want to make it sound like...
Aw, fuck it. You're really going to boil ribs for 8 hours?
Yup. That's how you make them fall-off-the-bone-epic. :)
:backs out of thread, slowly:
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 07:46:20 PM
Not at all. This is just a delicious, nutritious, and fast snack on the go.
I'm not sure about the first one.
I definitely question the second one.
And it is hardly "on the go" if you are watching a movie.
My sister swears by simmering ribs in water seasoned with curry before BBQing. It's good, but not as good at the traditional method IMO. If you for some reason don't have time to do a proper slow BBQ or all you have is a gas grill, you can get the same tenderness but with better flavor by wrapping your ribs in foil or putting them in a covered Dutch oven and baking them at 300 for a few hours.
Not to get too argumentative, but a pot of water at 3/4 power for 6 hours is going to do a hell of a lot more than "simmer".
It wasn't the water that was bothering me, it was the amount of heat.
I'm not even reading his recipes.
But hell, even boiling water is wet cooking at a relatively low temperature. I don't see why he'd want them at a full boil for that long, but they'll come out tender.
And flavorless.
Quote from: Luigi on December 03, 2009, 08:36:56 PM
Yup. That's how you make them fall-off-the-bone-epic. :)
OK, I didn't wanna play the "I'm a chef and you're wrong" card, but you're wrong.
Simmering ribs for a few hours is a great way to tenderize them. I swear by it and that's what I did at the last restaurant I worked at.
BUT...
you DON'T want to have them in there for several hours at a rolling boil. You want to bring them to a boil and then turn down the heat so the water is just barely simmering, and unless you're using brontosaurus ribs, 3 or 4 hours should be plenty of time. Ribs have alot of flavor on their own, without sauce, and your method is going to rid those ribs of every bit of natural flavor they possess. The point of simmering them is to break down the connective tissue to tenderize the meat, not to boil the ever-loving piss out of the meat itself.
Could you use a pressure cooker if you're lazy and impatient?
I don't know for sure, but my instinctive answer would be "no", at least as far as any cut of meat (like ribs) that has alot of connective tissue. AFAIK, there is no sbustitute for a long slow simmer that will break down the connective tissues in the same manner.
I'd still go with a dry heat, if at all possible. That way, you can add a dry rub to it first, and it won't wash off.
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 01:41:15 PM
I'd still go with a dry heat, if at all possible. That way, you can add a dry rub to it first, and it won't wash off.
There's always marinading it, and then after boiling it you could smoke it to put more flavor in.
My man Alton Brown has shown that a marinade doesn't get further than maybe a millimeter into most meats.
I'd suggest making the braising liquid more flavorful.
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 03:45:01 PM
My man Alton Brown has shown that a marinade doesn't get further than maybe a millimeter into most meats.
I'd suggest making the braising liquid more flavorful.
:O I LOVE ALTON BROWN HE IS THE SHIT.
There is that, of course. I love sweet stuff, so i'd probably use juice, worsterschire, liquid smoke and a bunch of spices instead of water.
And that'll make a good sauce, too!
thanks for reminding me, I was about to watch some of his videos (what was the show called again? Good Eats?) but then I got distracted and forgot.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 10, 2009, 09:43:31 PM
thanks for reminding me, I was about to watch some of his videos (what was the show called again? Good Eats?) but then I got distracted and forgot.
His show is called Good eats, and he's also the announcer guy on Iron chef America and (I don't think it's on at the moment, it jus ende) The Next Iron Chef.