Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:10:46 PM

Title: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:10:46 PM
So, there I am with my wife on Amazon.com, shopping for Xmas presents for my Parents-in-Law.

We were looking in various departments, getting little gifts here and there, and were in the "Health & Personal Care" section to get my FIL a new electric razor.  Easy enough.

I said to Mrs LMNO, "So, what's next on the list?"

"I think Mom wanted one of those rabbit corkscrews, you know, the ones that open a bottle of wine in like 3 seconds or something?"

"Oh, yeah.  Cool. Let's look for that."  So, I type in "Rabbit Corkscrew", and hit search.

THIS IS WHAT THE SEARCH RETURNED. (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Dhpc&field-keywords=rabbit+corkscrew&x=13&y=18)

I swear.  It's like an aura I give off or something.
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Herbertina Merrique V on December 15, 2009, 04:15:10 PM
Woah! $39.99 $4.99! :lulz:
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:17:13 PM
"Merry Christmas, Mom!"
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 15, 2009, 04:17:39 PM
He who lives by the butt toy dies by the butt toy  :D
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Suu on December 15, 2009, 04:18:09 PM
ANAL?!
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Richter on December 15, 2009, 04:26:46 PM
Amazon is onto you, I searched for the same words, and only got elaborate ways to access a bottle of booze.
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
You have to start in the Health & Personal Care section, apparently.
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on December 15, 2009, 04:50:21 PM
The question tha comes to mind is what are the chances someone was not paying the proper attention and sent one of these to dear old Auntie Gert?

Can you imagine?  It's almost worth the price just to do it and claim accident!!
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Suu on December 15, 2009, 04:59:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
You have to start in the Health & Personal Care section, apparently.

Ohhhh....You didn't switch back to All Departments.
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 05:03:20 PM
Nope.  I think the wife and I were laughing for about 15 minutes.


"Is it the right color?  Try it out, see if it works.  I think we can return it with a recipt if you don't like using it."
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Jenne on December 15, 2009, 05:08:03 PM
Well, you just hand it to her and say as she looks agog once it's open:

"SURPRISE!  BUTTSEX!"









(actually, I have the type of in-laws I'd LOVE to do that to...)
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Richter on December 15, 2009, 05:09:23 PM
"About this gift....I'm not sure what to do with it..."

"Oh, it's simple, you just stick it in and twist."  

(FYI: I know The Rabbit cockscrew opperates with jsut a lever, but that sounds funnier.)
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: -Kel- on December 15, 2009, 06:08:31 PM
"Number one christmas boutique gift item!!!"
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 06:13:40 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 15, 2009, 04:26:46 PM
Amazon is onto you, I searched for the same words, and only got elaborate ways to access a bottle of booze.

This is a fact.  It's God punishing LMNO for mocking the sick. 
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Brotep on December 15, 2009, 06:17:17 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 15, 2009, 05:08:03 PM
(actually, I have the type of in-laws I'd LOVE to do that to...)

Well that could mean several different things!   :lulz:
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Jenne on December 16, 2009, 02:34:26 PM
Quote from: Brotep on December 15, 2009, 06:17:17 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 15, 2009, 05:08:03 PM
(actually, I have the type of in-laws I'd LOVE to do that to...)

Well that could mean several different things!   :lulz:

I did realize that what I said was more than a bit fucked up, then I realized fixing it to mean what I meant to say wouldn't help.  So I left it.  (sorry Alphadude, didn't think you'd mind though it was rather inept of me, tbqh)
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: LMNO on December 16, 2009, 02:42:37 PM
That's ok, Jenne.  It gave me an erection.
Title: Re: A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.
Post by: Jenne on December 16, 2009, 02:44:24 PM
:lulz:  Well, that's a compensation, then.