Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Bring and Brag => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 20, 2009, 01:33:36 AM

Title: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 20, 2009, 01:33:36 AM
Sorry, guys: I'm removing everything that I am submitting for publication. Not to be a jerk, just to cover my ass.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Captain Utopia on December 20, 2009, 04:01:08 AM
 :cry:  +  :mittens:
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 20, 2009, 06:27:00 PM
My friend is illustrating it (each paragraph is a page) and we are going to send it to publishers, for the purpose of collecting rejection letters.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Verbal Mike on December 20, 2009, 06:33:51 PM
BEST. PLAN. EVER.
:lulz:
:mittens:
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 20, 2009, 07:17:05 PM
Thanks! We are going to start with the Most Serious and Prestigious of children's book publishers, and work our way down to some Christian ones. We are also going to include cover letters that explain how the book is educational and helpful, with phrasing such as "A timely contemporary work that embraces a gritty reality. Showing the single mother's quest for love through a child's eyes: One woman's courageous journey through heartbreak, rediscovering her strength, and finding new love, as told by her young child" and other such horrific shit.

We're thinking about having the wall of rejection letters in the kitchen.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Brotep on December 20, 2009, 07:52:36 PM
:mittens:

I love it!
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 20, 2009, 08:03:20 PM
Thanks!  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Freeky on December 21, 2009, 03:24:35 AM
What if a letter comes back and it isn't a rejection letter?

NIGEL BE FAMUSS THEN.  :D
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 04:35:20 AM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on December 21, 2009, 03:24:35 AM
What if a letter comes back and it isn't a rejection letter?

NIGEL BE FAMUSS THEN.  :D

Haha, that would be funny!

One of the gardening clients I used to work for when I was assisting my gardener friend (god I miss those days. I hope she needs help this summer) is a successful children's book author. She's RICH RICH RICH, all off children books.

I suspect hers are rather more wholesome. If I could make a living selling the horrible children's stories I write in my head, I'd do it in a hot second.

My gardener friend is funny, because she's kind of worked herself into a niche as gardener for Portland's rich and famous, which makes most of my brush-with-greatness stories hilariously disconnected. I've pulled the weeds and peed in the bathrooms (and yards) of fame, but I've never met most of them.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: NotPublished on December 21, 2009, 04:41:05 AM
Your a character I love you.

I hope you recieve many rejection letters.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 04:51:44 AM
Quote from: NotPublished on December 21, 2009, 04:41:05 AM
Your a character I love you.

I hope you recieve many rejection letters.

Thanks!  :)
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Jenne on December 21, 2009, 04:43:31 PM
:mittens:  Awesome tale, even though you paid a high price in the writing of it.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Richter on December 21, 2009, 04:51:23 PM
I like this, but it makes me want to eat a hollowpoint reading it.  I also saw "Martyrs" this weekends, and am still prcessing it, which may be tinting my view a bit.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Darth Cupcake on December 21, 2009, 09:05:23 PM
I want to see this actually become a published children's book. I'd buy it.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 21, 2009, 09:10:13 PM
Have you actually made those posters yet?
if so, i would very much like to see it...
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 09:50:13 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on December 21, 2009, 09:10:13 PM
Have you actually made those posters yet?
if so, i would very much like to see it...

Indeed!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/24244617/Lost-Moustache

I've posted about 75 of them so far. It actually goes really fast and I'm pacing myself so I don't run out before I get my second batch.

Yesterday it occurred to me that the poster was originally going to say "MISSING --- REWARD" but somehow when I made it I forgot and put "LOST MOUSTACHE".
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 09:51:02 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 21, 2009, 09:05:23 PM
I want to see this actually become a published children's book. I'd buy it.

Thanks!  :lulz:
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 21, 2009, 09:51:46 PM
hooray!
I'm blocked of Scribd at work, but will see when i get home...
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 09:53:15 PM
Huh I just read back through the thread where I asked for the pic and apparently I was going to say "LOST MOUSTACHE" all along.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: NotPublished on December 21, 2009, 09:55:24 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 21, 2009, 09:53:15 PM
Huh I just read back through the thread where I asked for the pic and apparently I was going to say "LOST MOUSTACHE" all along.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

I wish I could see the posters in action! How much does it cost for you to batch-print them?
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 21, 2009, 10:04:38 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on December 21, 2009, 09:55:24 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 21, 2009, 09:53:15 PM
Huh I just read back through the thread where I asked for the pic and apparently I was going to say "LOST MOUSTACHE" all along.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

I wish I could see the posters in action! How much does it cost for you to batch-print them?

I get mine done through a friend, but I think they'd only be 3 to 5 cents a copy at Kinkos if you did black and white laser copies.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 23, 2009, 06:26:20 PM
Thanks!

It seems mildly inappropriate for children, what with all the moustache-sniffing.
Title: Re: The Right Moustache: A Story for Children
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 30, 2009, 07:57:02 PM
I really hope my housemate does finish illustrating it. She is an absolutely phenomenal artist. Sadly, I can no longer find any of her artwork online, but it's fucking incredible, like if Edward Gorey met Richard Scarrey and they fucked and had a baby made out of M.C. Escher.

Another friend of mine, who is more of a classical painter, wants to illustrate "It's OK When Mommy Drinks" and I am pretty excited about that, too.