Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Hangshai on December 23, 2009, 08:41:04 PM

Title: RATS!!!
Post by: Hangshai on December 23, 2009, 08:41:04 PM
Ok, so, I live in a sort of suburban/rural area(I asked a buddy how he would describe the place to someone not from here, and he said 'a bedroom community for rednecks'), and they've been building A LOT of houses on the surrounding farm land.  I'm pretty close to the edge of town, and, I've noticed that there aren't many cats in the neighborhood.  Its pretty ghetto, so, LOTS of dogs.  But not many cats.  Which, leads us to my problem.  Rats.

Big fuckers.  They crawl across power lines from roof to roof in this neighborhood, and they've taken a liking to my roof.  I can hear them in the big trees around my house at night squeaking.  Pretty fucking gross.  They've managed to get inside my house twice, once under the sink in the bathroom(plugged that hole since), and once through an air hole in the laundry room.  So, now Ive set traps.  3 by the water heater, that is opposite the wall that has the vent to the laundry room, so there is an enticing hole into the house beset with traps, and then some more in the attic and basement.  It worked really well for a couple weeks.  They stayed away, and now they're back, and they are avoiding the traps(except I catch a little one every now and then).

I am now running out of ideas.  My home is a rental, but it is still MY home.  I really dont care if they stay outside, but when they are living in my attic and getting in the house, they have invaded my space.

So, I need some help.  Any experiences any of you have had that work, please share them with me.  Ive thought about letting a snake loose on my property, but that sounds like an expensive plan that can go wrong in SO many ways, as cool as it would be.  And poison wont work because I have 2 little dogs, and I cant put them in danger.  They are little shits and will eat anything.

So, any ideas?
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Pariah on December 23, 2009, 08:42:57 PM
Kill one rat and put it's head on a pike. This should serve as a warning to the other rats and should stop them
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: AFK on December 23, 2009, 08:46:58 PM
Or they'll just eat the head, and proceed to chew through everything else. 
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Pariah on December 23, 2009, 08:48:42 PM
That's why you fill the rat's head with poison.
I know this stuff
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Jenne on December 23, 2009, 08:52:09 PM
:lulz:  @ Pariah?

Ok, until and unless you plug alll the fucking holes, they will continue to get in.  Plug the damned holes, and you won't get them coming in anymore.

I had rats GALORE in my garage, traps didn't do shit but kill the damned things, but didn't deter them and keep them out.  Now, the trees still have rats, but my garage doesn't.  And you can't really ever get rid of the rats in the trees unless you get rid of the trees.  I'm workin' on that one, however.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Pariah on December 23, 2009, 08:56:03 PM
Quote from: Hangshai on December 23, 2009, 08:41:04 PM
Ive thought about letting a snake loose on my property, but that sounds like an expensive plan that can go wrong in SO many ways, as cool as it would be. 

Bingo
Seriously nothing can possibly go wrong
If they get too pesky you can just get a pack of mongooses (mongeese?) to hunt them out
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 23, 2009, 08:56:20 PM
I'd say cover every inch of your walls and floors and ceiling with lead. even if they manage to chew through they'll get lead poisoning.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 23, 2009, 09:02:11 PM
Quote from: Hangshai on December 23, 2009, 08:41:04 PM
Ok, so, I live in a sort of suburban/rural area(I asked a buddy how he would describe the place to someone not from here, and he said 'a bedroom community for rednecks'), and they've been building A LOT of houses on the surrounding farm land.  I'm pretty close to the edge of town, and, I've noticed that there aren't many cats in the neighborhood.  Its pretty ghetto, so, LOTS of dogs.  But not many cats.  Which, leads us to my problem.  Rats.

Big fuckers.  They crawl across power lines from roof to roof in this neighborhood, and they've taken a liking to my roof.  I can hear them in the big trees around my house at night squeaking.  Pretty fucking gross.  They've managed to get inside my house twice, once under the sink in the bathroom(plugged that hole since), and once through an air hole in the laundry room.  So, now Ive set traps.  3 by the water heater, that is opposite the wall that has the vent to the laundry room, so there is an enticing hole into the house beset with traps, and then some more in the attic and basement.  It worked really well for a couple weeks.  They stayed away, and now they're back, and they are avoiding the traps(except I catch a little one every now and then).

I am now running out of ideas.  My home is a rental, but it is still MY home.  I really dont care if they stay outside, but when they are living in my attic and getting in the house, they have invaded my space.

So, I need some help.  Any experiences any of you have had that work, please share them with me.  Ive thought about letting a snake loose on my property, but that sounds like an expensive plan that can go wrong in SO many ways, as cool as it would be.  And poison wont work because I have 2 little dogs, and I cant put them in danger.  They are little shits and will eat anything.

So, any ideas?

No cats, traps aren't working, and you can't use poison?  You're fucked.

TGRR,
Is a student of history, and never bets against rats.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Dysnomia on December 23, 2009, 09:02:55 PM
block all forms of entry, then put the traps outside (those ones where they walk in and "disappear").  Inside the traps put some cat/dog food with bait mixed in.  This works particularly well with wet food.  


Or I can fedex you the ex boyfriend.  I'm sure he'd love to sit around your house with his airsoft gun and Rambo the fuckers for you.  
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 23, 2009, 09:14:14 PM
you want to know the best way to keep wild rats & mice out of your house/apartment/trailer/whatever?

get a male pet rat and make sure to let him run around your house and scent mark the place every so often.

Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 23, 2009, 09:29:42 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 23, 2009, 09:14:14 PM
you want to know the best way to keep wild rats & mice out of your house/apartment/trailer/whatever?

get a male pet rat and make sure to let him run around your house and scent mark the place every so often.


One of those freakishly huge sewer rats.
The kind that kill dobermenn.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Pariah on December 23, 2009, 09:31:06 PM
Move.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Salty on December 23, 2009, 09:35:11 PM
Watch Willard. You'll know what to do from there.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 23, 2009, 11:41:42 PM
Yellow rat snakes - they're built for the job. Go python if the rats are really big.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on December 23, 2009, 11:45:52 PM
If they're outside use a .22 or .17 HMR (a lot more espensive that .22 but OMG accurate and heady explody), if they're inside just lay a fuckton of traps and make sure you keep a clean home. Keep cabinets with food sealed and put some food far away form your home but close enough that the rats will be attracted to it (<100m). Throw some traps outside your house too for good measure.

Additionally, your landlord is probably responsible for pest control but will likely attempt to shirk this responsibility.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 24, 2009, 12:04:26 AM
I like a pellet gun because it's quieter.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Hangshai on December 24, 2009, 12:38:42 AM
Many awesome ideas.  Im working so I will have to post replies later.  Thank you though.  And roger, Im not AGAINST any of that stuff, I mean, technically, my dogs dont get in the attic, so I could use some poison pellets up there or whatever, but bringing down dead rat carcasses from the attic doesnt sound fun..  Finding them (carcasses) sounds like a drag, too.  Just no poison on the ground or whatever.  And, Im still thinking about cats.  My last neighborhood was overrun with them.  Cat shit in the planter boxes, but NO RATS.  Dont know which is worse, though.  Especially on a hot summer day.  The patching of the holes seems like the only sure fire thing that will keep them out.  As long as they stay out of my food and my garden, I can cohabitate with them(is cohabitate a word, the spell-checker keeps fucking with me).
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Ratssinis on December 24, 2009, 01:15:25 AM
So you cant have Cats? at all? Seems like a dark despotic future to me... I couldn't imagine living without Cats. No wait. I just did. DAMNIT.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 24, 2009, 01:17:28 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 23, 2009, 09:14:14 PM
you want to know the best way to keep wild rats & mice out of your house/apartment/trailer/whatever?

get a male pet rat and make sure to let him run around your house and scent mark the place every so often.



not being facetious. this really works.
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: Hangshai on December 24, 2009, 04:22:17 AM
Thanks again everyone.  Im going to go with patching all the holes I can find.  I can hear them in the walls at night, but as long as they stay outside, then Im cool with it, Im moving out in a couple months anyway.  I definitely want a cat, but not at this house.  My next house I am looking for at the moment is going to be on some property, a couple acres at least, if not more, and I will have an outside cat then.  I fucking HATE cat piss.  It crystallizes after it dries or something and it fucking NEVER totally comes out, so.  No cat pee.

Oh, and the pet rat idea does sound really cool and totally plausible but I just dont think I can hang with a pet rat.  I was going to say my dogs might try to eat it, but they dont seem to fond of the rats that are already here, so, I dont think they would give it much trouble... 
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 24, 2009, 05:41:53 AM
I had a pet rat once that taught itself to stick its nose into peoples' pockets and take out any paper money it found. It'd stash the loot under the cushions of my couch. I had that rat for about 2 years and she clocked over $200 for me.

whose dog or cat ever did some shit like that?
Title: Re: RATS!!!
Post by: BabylonHoruv on December 24, 2009, 06:33:18 AM
ferrets are about as good as cats for keeping rats out.  They also live in a cage most of the time.  They do have a smell, so it depends on of you like that smell or not.