Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cain on January 07, 2010, 10:10:20 PM

Title: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Cain on January 07, 2010, 10:10:20 PM
..."man attempts to have sex with a rottweiler" story!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-guilty-of-attempting-to-have-sex-with-rottweiler-1844131.html

QuoteA North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.

A neighbour claimed to have witnessed Edwards grab the rottweiler by its hind legs and thrust himself at it for about twenty or thirty seconds. Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the backyard, where he had gone to have a smoke and relieve himself.

The witness, Mr Richard Williams, said, "I felt sick. I was shocked. I could not believe what I had just seen."

Mr Williams claimed that Edwards then performed an indecent act on himself.

The court was told that the accused was drunk at the time of the incident, on the 30th of August this year, following a night out with friends in Wrexham. He then went to a party at a house on the outskirts of Wrexham where the offence took place in the early hours of the morning.

Edwards had been working in the catering department at Chester Zoo but had no contact with the animals there.

The court was also told that Edwards had pornography featuring bestiality on his computer, which depicted sexual activity with horses and dogs.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 07, 2010, 10:15:10 PM
Furries Gone Wild.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: -Kel- on January 07, 2010, 10:15:57 PM
poor puppy
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: The Johnny on January 07, 2010, 10:46:41 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 07, 2010, 10:10:20 PM
..."man attempts to have sex with a rottweiler" story!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-guilty-of-attempting-to-have-sex-with-rottweiler-1844131.html

QuoteA North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.

A neighbour claimed to have witnessed Edwards grab the rottweiler by its hind legs and thrust himself at it for about twenty or thirty seconds. Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the backyard, where he had gone to have a smoke and relieve himself.

The witness, Mr Richard Williams, said, "I felt sick. I was shocked. I could not believe what I had just seen."

Mr Williams claimed that Edwards then performed an indecent act on himself.

The court was told that the accused was drunk at the time of the incident, on the 30th of August this year, following a night out with friends in Wrexham. He then went to a party at a house on the outskirts of Wrexham where the offence took place in the early hours of the morning.

Edwards had been working in the catering department at Chester Zoo but had no contact with the animals there.

The court was also told that Edwards had pornography featuring bestiality on his computer, which depicted sexual activity with horses and dogs.

Ok, so that means he usually only goes after non-living animals?

And its a good thing that news reporters are not keen on innuendos and word play, not at all.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 07, 2010, 11:40:28 PM
Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.

Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: The Johnny on January 07, 2010, 11:46:27 PM

I was expecting the punchline of the news to be that he got mauled to death.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: rygD on January 08, 2010, 12:00:56 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 07, 2010, 11:40:28 PM
Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.



Perhaps he likes rough sex.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 08, 2010, 12:02:46 AM
Hey, North Wales is like the badlands.

I prefer Southampton with eejits rather than dog rapists.
Quote from: rygD on January 08, 2010, 12:00:56 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 07, 2010, 11:40:28 PM
Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.




Perhaps he likes rough sex.


:horrormirth:

ruff sex, was that....
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Suu on January 08, 2010, 04:29:08 AM
What is WITH you British folk lately?
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Iason Ouabache on January 08, 2010, 04:31:26 AM
Quote from: JohNyx on January 07, 2010, 11:46:27 PM

I was expecting the punchline of the news to be that he got mauled to death.

He's lucky he didn't get his penis bitten off.   :x
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard on January 08, 2010, 08:24:31 AM
QuoteA North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Typical. You don't get any of that crap down here in south Wales.

Maybe the dog was one of the 2-in-3.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 08, 2010, 08:34:16 AM
You think he'd start with something tamer like an Airdale or a Belgian before rockin a rottie.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Jasper on January 08, 2010, 08:38:47 AM
Who's saying he didn't?  The fact that he's unharmed speaks volumes of his dog fucking finesse.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 09, 2010, 04:44:22 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 08, 2010, 08:38:47 AM
Who's saying he didn't?  The fact that he's unharmed speaks volumes of his dog fucking finesse.
:x
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 09, 2010, 04:54:56 AM
maybe it's mr. glass or whatever the broken jar guy's name is.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 09, 2010, 05:04:53 AM
Quote from: Burns on January 09, 2010, 04:54:56 AM
maybe it's mr. glass or whatever the broken jar guy's name is.

Neither of them hold a candle to Mr. Hand.

That's the kind of shit that goes down in MY part of the world.
Title: Re: Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 09, 2010, 05:41:24 AM
oh gawd, Mr. Hands.....

:lulz: :horrormirth:

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ec241JmjnSU/SbrWbPgnMEI/AAAAAAAAAAM/JiGyGCJ7PfA/s400/mr-hands.jpg)