Quote from: so long and thanks for all the fishAn extraterrestrial robot and spaceship has just landed on earth. The robot steps out of the spaceship...]
"I come in peace," it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."
Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news reports on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.
"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said ford. "It is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
"What?"
"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
Ford shrugged again.
"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."
what is your fucking point?
The point is to read it.
I'd didn't post this thread to start an :argh!: argument.
yeah, I read it when I was 11 years old.
and if you're not looking for arguments, well, please look up the root word in the term "discordian".
wah?
So you think politicians are highly evolved reptilians that shapeshift?
Or are you making some sort of StarGate fanfiction , with the subtext of a critique to modern democracy?
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 05:43:50 PM
wah?
jesus tittyfucking christ.
you know what? I'm just gonna shut up and give you your 50 posts in the hopes that you'll figure some shit out between now and then.
:lol:
edit
way2troll. :|
I'm not trying to rewrite the Children of the Matrix, Johnny, nor am i trying to build up my postcount. I'm just posting some fiction in the political forum for a change.
(when you're coming up with clever responses please use the following words: asshoe, RAWtard, asscone)
Was it a flame/troll? Or maybe it is real questions i have in response to what you posted?
Because if instead of questioning you about it, id just lump you with the conspiracy nuts that think the Bush family are in reality lizard shape-shifters that come from a long dynasty of said creatures, with origins in medieval royalty.
Hell, if you want to rewrite "children of the matrix" or build your post-count, its ok by me.
But now i ask you, what kind of responses did you want to it? (style critique, OH WOW THAT IS AWESOME, opinions?) and also what kind of responses were you expecting?
And telling us what kind of nomenclature to use when doing "clever responses", for the record, is not well taken.
It's not for critique man, it's not my work.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 08:45:08 PM
It's not for critique man, it's not my work.
Then what is it for? To be stared at blankly without responding?
(http://kimag.es/share/99771553.jpg)
I'm guessing he's trying to point out how clever a metaphor it is. With Lizards standing in for the ruling class.
Paints Adams as a bit of a communist.
If I want to ponder the intricacies of Douglas Adams fiction I'd go read his books.
Point is, OP is pretty god-damned available. Whole networks of people, an industry of people make that happen.
Quote from: JohNyx on January 09, 2010, 09:01:04 PM
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 08:45:08 PM
It's not for critique man, it's not my work.
Then what is it for? To be stared at blankly without responding?
it's an excerpt from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which is an important weapon in the arsenal of every pinealist when they want you to know how EDGY and OUTRAGEOUS they are.
it also really has no business in the Aneristic Delusions subforum, but noob doesn't seem to care about the social conventions of the forum so this is what we get.
and since I like JohNyx's newest thing, I'll take a stab at it myself:
but this is a discordian forum! you're not supposed to HAVE things like "rules" and "social conventions" here, because it will totally limit our ability to be, like, really REAL discordians, man.
Hippopothamus riding a pogo stick with their ass batman!!! WHAT COULD EVER BE MORE POLITICAL THAN UNVEILING THE LIZARD CONSPIRACY THAT THREATENS US ALL!!!! What a fucking noob you are for not reading THE GUIDE and konwing it IS THE TRUTH THAT GODESS ERIS SENT ME TO ENLIGHTEN YOU ALL you STUPID AND IGNORANT "discordians".
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 09, 2010, 09:15:18 PM
I'm guessing he's trying to point out how clever a metaphor it is. With Lizards standing in for the ruling class.
Paints Adams as a bit of a communist.
If he wasnt arrogant about it and actually explained his reasons, which i have queried for several times now.
why explain
when theres an ignore list?
for one, there is no ignore list on this forum.
we are forced to listen to your drivel just as you are forced to listen to us try to explain to you why your drivel is just that, until such time as you decide we're not REALLY REAL discordians and proceed directly to the MySpace Discordian groups without passing Go or collecting $200.
seriously though, if you want to be a member of this community and make positive and well-regarded contributions, it would behoove you to do some lurking and some research until you gain a little bit of an understanding of how this place works.
that's actual helpful advice, as opposed to my usual dickishness, so please don't let it be wasted.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 10:02:37 PM
why explain
when theres an ignore list?
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I'll stick to drivel.
but you can tell me how terrible my other thread is
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=23656.0
ECH is actually of the most tolerant and newcomer-friendly people, and seeing how hes reacting to you, you can see how things are gonna go for you if you dont change your attitude.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 10:21:11 PM
I'll stick to drivel
Worst mistake since you went to Supercuts, son
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 04:48:47 PM
Quote from: so long and thanks for all the fishAn extraterrestrial robot and spaceship has just landed on earth. The robot steps out of the spaceship...]
"I come in peace," it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."
Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news reports on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.
"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said ford. "It is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
"What?"
"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
Ford shrugged again.
"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."
@op: attempt at serious response:
that's not a democracy, that's a representatocracy.
democracy is voting on issues. this is voting on people.
@ everyone else:
it has a point, not a good one, but still a point.
so it is not pineal yet.
let him have his 50 posts before killing him.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 08:45:08 PM
It's not for critique man, it's not my work.
I think you've mistaken us for traditional Discordians. We embrace the whole of Discord, not just the happy, nice, and safe parts. We criticize the hell out of each other, and it has given us a vigorous dialectic. Whatever you post, whether you wrote it or not, is subject to a critical review.
Con Safos.
Quote from: Cain on January 09, 2010, 10:22:36 PM
Quote from: Ascoe on January 09, 2010, 10:21:11 PM
I'll stick to drivel
Worst mistake since you went to Supercuts, son
are you implying you don't appreciate drivel?
johnny, i don't care how things 'are gonna go.' I'll just post, and the admins can delete my posts and ban me as they see fit.
we don't delete your posts, ever.
and we don't ban you unless you break one of the very few rules that exist here (don't do anything that could get myself or Faust in legal trouble, don't out our trolls on other boards).
we prefer to have you hang around so we can mock you incessantly.
and you will find that very few of us appreciate drivel, and those that do generally keep it confined to the pinealist drivel subforum (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=groups.groupprofile&groupID=100004320).
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 09, 2010, 05:27:28 PM
what is your fucking point?
it's kind of similar to that Simpsons Halloween episode (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treehouse_of_Horror_VII#Citizen_Kang), where those two aliens shapeshift into two politicians with identical viewpoints and run for presidency and then they get unmasked, but they say "HA HA YOU CANNOT WIN, IT IS A TWO PARTY SYSTEM"
(and in the epilogue humanity is enslaved and Homer says "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!!")
(http://i.imgur.com/uojjn.gif)
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 09, 2010, 10:51:38 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 09, 2010, 05:27:28 PM
what is your fucking point?
it's kind of similar to that Simpsons Halloween episode (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treehouse_of_Horror_VII#Citizen_Kang), where those two aliens shapeshift into two politicians with identical viewpoints and run for presidency and then they get unmasked, but they say "HA HA YOU CANNOT WIN, IT IS A TWO PARTY SYSTEM"
(and in the epilogue humanity is enslaved and Homer says "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!!")
Still one of the best critiques of politics I've ever seen.
"We'll vote for a third party candidate!"
"Go ahead - THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!"
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Quote from: Cain on January 10, 2010, 02:46:55 AM
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Wait, so all political systems aren't exactly like American politics?
EoC (ToG),
Dumbfounded.
I am not usually the nice guy, so you can blame the swine flu (even though I'm over it)
But I just saw that as being a newbie posting something he saw as a relevant snippet of literature about the two-party system.
yeah, to clarify, I LOVE HHGttG and wasn't slamming it at all, just the tendency of pinealist yahoos to include it in their pantheon of things that make them OH SO FUCKING WACKY, which as you said makes little sense given it's got fuck-all to do with pinealist drivel.
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on January 10, 2010, 05:43:31 PM
I can gather from your op that you are not a fan of democracy (or lizards?)?
Maybe he's a fan of David Icke?
I'd recommend reading the title of the thread so you know that you don't want to read it
:rbtg:
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
Never read any david icke... :mrgreen:
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 04:37:44 AM
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
Whoops
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 04:37:44 AM
I'd recommend reading the title of the thread so you know that you don't want to read it
:rbtg:
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
Never read any david icke... :mrgreen:
Yea, now im sure to know what to expect of topics you start.
Nice grasp you have there on politics.
(http://imgur.com/Otgz9l.jpg)
I DEMAND MORE MACARONI PICTURES AND SERIOUS POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS ON INTERNET FORUMS
(image bomb removed - ECH)
(image bomb removed - ECH)
Thats about 4.6 mbs of images just to make a lame attempt at sarcasm.
Resorted to image spamming so soon? Poor form, chap, poor form.
(http://imgur.com/jtGin.gif)
sorry nast, I have an acute allergy to people who pointlessly troll a completely harmless thread.
Then you may in fact be allergic to this board.
Quote from: Cain on January 10, 2010, 02:46:55 AM
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Adams was British. So I don't think he was just critiquing two party politics.
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/two_party_system.png)
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 06:01:19 AM
[ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/VDRSCl.gif[/img]
[ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img][ img]http://imgur.com/Z8yENl.gif[/img]
Quote from: johnnyxCHECK OUT MY COOL SARCASM GOGGLES
-johnnyx
Dude, what the fuck :?
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 04:37:44 AM
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
worst mistake since you wore plaid to the club, son.
Douglas Adams was not the dullest crayon in the box. It seems that some here do not adequately comprehend the metaphor.
for me, it has nothing to do with the validity of the metaphor (it's quite flawed, BTW), and everything to do with not liking Assco.
Quotefor me, it has nothing to do with the validity of the metaphor (it's quite flawed, BTW), and everything to do with not liking Assco.
wah? i've barely posted here at all.
if you have a severe problem with me, take it up in pm or irc please.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 11, 2010, 07:05:36 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 10, 2010, 02:46:55 AM
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Adams was British. So I don't think he was just critiquing two party politics.
What does being British have to do with anything? I'm British. We have a two party system in Britain. I don't see whatever point you seem to think you are making. Especially since I was replying to the point The Omnipotent Grinner made, and not the OP.
Quote from: Cain on January 11, 2010, 09:21:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 11, 2010, 07:05:36 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 10, 2010, 02:46:55 AM
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Adams was British. So I don't think he was just critiquing two party politics.
What does being British have to do with anything? I'm British. We have a two party system in Britain. I don't see whatever point you seem to think you are making. Especially since I was replying to the point Simpsons fanboy gushing The Omnipotent Grinner made, and not the OP.
I wouldn't go looking too hard in that post for a point, Cain. :lulz:
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 09:21:37 AM
Quotefor me, it has nothing to do with the validity of the metaphor (it's quite flawed, BTW), and everything to do with not liking Assco.
wah? i've barely posted here at all.
if you have a severe problem with me, take it up in pm or irc please.
no, I prefer to humiliate you publicly. but you're right, aside from imagebombing, spewing pinealist drivel, willfully pissing on our social conventions, and registering several alternate accounts, we're all good.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 04:37:44 AM
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
...And right now we have a Democratically controlled House, Senate, and White House. Have any of these stopped?
Quote from: Cain on January 11, 2010, 09:21:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 11, 2010, 07:05:36 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 10, 2010, 02:46:55 AM
Thats only really a critique of the first past the post system of voting, which does tend to end up in a two party system (there is actually a law describing this, only I cannot remember the name). Under most forms of proportional representation, such as Germany and Israel, such votes are not wasted at all, since they count to the overall party tally and how many seats they can claim.
Adams was British. So I don't think he was just critiquing two party politics.
What does being British have to do with anything? I'm British. We have a two party system in Britain. I don't see whatever point you seem to think you are making. Especially since I was replying to the point The Omnipotent Grinner made, and not the OP.
Didn't realize you did. I assumed a parliamentary system was less likely to default to a two party position. My mistake for being an ignorant American.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 04:37:44 AM
anyway, i vote democrat partially because i'm against killing, war, and making money off of killing and war.
AAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That's almost as funny as Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize.
wow how many accounts did I register?
edit (http://albums.kimag.es/albums/2323/51556027.gif)
three, including the one you're posting under.
or you could try to convince me that those other 2 accounts whose IP resolves to the same block of LA that yours resolves to is just a coincidence.
I have some pretty good data-mining tools at my disposal. I don't think I'm wrong.
:lol: go check out my poee.co.uk account
why would I care about that? POEE is not my website that you are spagging up.
Quote from: Ascoe on January 11, 2010, 06:28:20 AM
sorry nast, I have an acute allergy to people who pointlessly troll a completely harmless thread.
Do you know where you are?
Ascoe, I know this is probably a waste of time but...
This thread would have gone off better, at least I wouldn't have reacted so harshly to it, if you had...you know...added something.
Commentary. Opinion. Hell, if you had merely pontificated on the virtues of the OP.
But you didn't offer up anything any of us could not have obtained ourselves.
IAWTC
Ersatz quotes of Doug Adams isn't really interesting without some kind of commentary.
:whack: