Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: phi on January 20, 2010, 09:57:43 PM

Title: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 20, 2010, 09:57:43 PM
I just stumbled across a horrid sight. Yes, this is your opportunity to connect the subject to this statement and flee... or mock it without reading the rest.

Still with me? What a pity.

Next to suspiciously warm toilet seats and sticky floors, there are few things that are crappier than going to use a toilet and discovering that it's filled with shit. The bastard didn't flush.

However, there was something else that bastard didn't do.

In this fecalated toilet... there was... no toilet paper.

There is someone at work walking around in plain sight with pants full of shit stains.

Every male I see is now suspect. I'm not sure if in my paranoia I'll ever see a coworker the same way.

I share this with you, because I didn't want to suffer alone.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: NotPublished on January 20, 2010, 09:59:34 PM
QuoteIn this fecalated toilet... there was... no toilet paper.
:eek:
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: hooplala on January 20, 2010, 10:03:32 PM
Maybe it was a white-glover.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on January 21, 2010, 03:26:42 AM
This is why you should spot before you squat. HAHA! I AM RHYMING!

...but seriously, why would you take a dump in a toilet paperless shit-filled toilet?
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 21, 2010, 05:29:33 AM
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on January 21, 2010, 03:26:42 AM
...but seriously, why would you take a dump in a toilet paperless shit-filled toilet?
Nah, I recoiled in horror and ran off to spread the warning and raise the alarm.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Jasper on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.

Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: NotPublished on January 21, 2010, 06:15:25 AM
He shat out of his mouth mebe
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Jasper on January 21, 2010, 06:18:38 AM
Maybe he brought the poo from home.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 21, 2010, 07:36:01 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:18:38 AM
Maybe he brought the poo from home.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Payne on January 21, 2010, 12:13:45 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.



I have done this, for the lulz.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on January 21, 2010, 02:01:18 PM
Maybe he never left the stall alive... Perhaps he shat himself down the toilet. Or maybe he was Claude Reins, and was still taking a shit when you barged into the stall.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Cain on January 21, 2010, 03:14:16 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:18:38 AM
Maybe he brought the poo from home.

He should've bought enough for everyone, then.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 21, 2010, 03:50:41 PM
Perhaps he has an anus like most other animals that sticks out at the surface rather than being tucked up between butt cheeks, and has poo that is more solid/dry than other people.

could you describe the poo further?
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Jenne on January 21, 2010, 05:01:42 PM
Maybe he applied the old adage: "Be a man, use your hand."
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 21, 2010, 08:23:06 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on January 21, 2010, 03:50:41 PM
Perhaps he has an anus like most other animals that sticks out at the surface rather than being tucked up between butt cheeks, and has poo that is more solid/dry than other people.

could you describe the poo further?
Make sure to add that to "List of reason not to take yourself/ the world to seriously" in Literate Chaotic.

Man, we suck at shitting. That's kinda messed up.

Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.
Do I smell PoopGASM?
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: NotPublished on January 21, 2010, 09:00:50 PM
I wonder how bad people would react to fake poo and vomit on the floor of the toilet
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Dimocritus on January 21, 2010, 09:11:44 PM
POOPgasm? Ok, it's potty time.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: NotPublished on January 21, 2010, 09:16:08 PM
on the floor of the elevator!
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 23, 2010, 07:22:13 PM
Quote from: dimo on January 21, 2010, 09:11:44 PM
POOPgasm? Ok, it's potty time.
I like the idea of placing it in places that are absolutely bizarre... like inside someone's desk. Or, better yet, computer.

I'm not sick enough to use real shit, however.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 23, 2010, 07:23:57 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on January 21, 2010, 09:00:50 PM
I wonder how bad people would react to fake poo and vomit on the floor of the toilet
On the floor of the toilet? Erh... In any case, I occasionally see shit smeared on the walls. It's a sign of sexual abuse, actually. No idea why......

Hmm... is there a false candle version of poop? Like, every time you flush, it floats back to the surface?
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Captain Utopia on January 23, 2010, 09:03:18 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 21, 2010, 12:13:45 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.

I have done this, for the lulz.
Why flush, when you can toss them under the partition into the neighbouring stalls and get a twofer?  Checking that they are unoccupied first might be wise though.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 23, 2010, 09:06:01 PM
Quote from: FP on January 23, 2010, 09:03:18 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 21, 2010, 12:13:45 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.

I have done this, for the lulz.
Why flush, when you can toss them under the partition into the neighbouring stalls and get a twofer?  Checking that they are unoccupied first might be wise though.

Sure, spoil the fun.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Payne on January 23, 2010, 09:07:46 PM
Quote from: FP on January 23, 2010, 09:03:18 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 21, 2010, 12:13:45 PM
Quote from: Felix on January 21, 2010, 06:12:02 AM
Maybe the last guy was kind of a twisted fucker.  Maybe he went to the trouble of flushing his TP down a different toilet to make people wonder.

I have done this, for the lulz.
Why flush, when you can toss them under the partition into the neighbouring stalls and get a twofer?  Checking that they are unoccupied first might be wise though.

Cause it's funny when you work with an absolute hygiene freak. You can see them eyeing everyone up, wondering who never wiped and avoiding contact with anyone at all.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Captain Utopia on January 23, 2010, 09:16:09 PM
Point taken  :lulz:
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 23, 2010, 09:22:54 PM
I've experienced a similar phenominon and it was at a restaurant and i inquired to the management. 

They told me that some of the Mexicans had poor plumbing where they came from and habitually placed the toilet paper into the trash can to prevent clogging.

To this day I'm still not sure if I was being bullshitted but anyway--take it for what it's worth.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: phi on January 23, 2010, 09:54:30 PM
Quote from: Payne on January 23, 2010, 09:07:46 PM
Cause it's funny when you work with an absolute hygiene freak. You can see them eyeing everyone up, wondering who never wiped and avoiding contact with anyone at all.
Wait... where do you work? :oops:
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: LMNO on January 25, 2010, 01:21:04 PM
Quote from: Burns on January 23, 2010, 09:22:54 PM
I've experienced a similar phenominon and it was at a restaurant and i inquired to the management. 

They told me that some of the Mexicans had poor plumbing where they came from and habitually placed the toilet paper into the trash can to prevent clogging.

To this day I'm still not sure if I was being bullshitted but anyway--take it for what it's worth.

Well, when I went to Argentina, we were told that the plumbing in most places couldn't handle the paper, and there were trash cans right next to the toilet for paper disposal. 

That was one cultural difference that took some getting used to.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Jenne on January 25, 2010, 02:48:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 25, 2010, 01:21:04 PM
Quote from: Burns on January 23, 2010, 09:22:54 PM
I've experienced a similar phenominon and it was at a restaurant and i inquired to the management. 

They told me that some of the Mexicans had poor plumbing where they came from and habitually placed the toilet paper into the trash can to prevent clogging.

To this day I'm still not sure if I was being bullshitted but anyway--take it for what it's worth.

Well, when I went to Argentina, we were told that the plumbing in most places couldn't handle the paper, and there were trash cans right next to the toilet for paper disposal. 

That was one cultural difference that took some getting used to.

Yes, in Mexico, they usually ask you to put the paper in the can next to the toilet.  And some places here in CA have taken to putting signs that say the opposite so our patrons from across the border know it's ok to flush it.
Title: Re: Some fucked up shit
Post by: Triple Zero on January 25, 2010, 02:56:47 PM
edit: wrong thread.