I just burnt some boiled eggs. Boiled eggs. I dread to think what I would do with a microwave meal.
:x
the good news is that this means you are probably overqualified to be the head chef at the hackfest I'm currently working at.
And since they hired me to be the head chef as soon as the current guy leaves (or is pushed out), and since I plan on quitting as soon as I clock a couple of paychecks, there will be an opening.
That bad, eh?
I'd also like it to be noted I had to show my boss how to do smothered chicken the other day. I have to work with him two days a week with him as the main chef, and he apparently doesn't know how to make anything more complicated than a hamburger, and he has to ask me, Burnt Boiled Eggs Guy, for advice :x
:lulz:
Quote from: Cain on January 21, 2010, 06:02:12 PM
That bad, eh?
I'd also like it to be noted I had to show my boss how to do smothered chicken the other day. I have to work with him two days a week with him as the main chef, and he apparently doesn't know how to make anything more complicated than a hamburger, and he has to ask me, Burnt Boiled Eggs Guy, for advice :x
I stood there and watched as the guy running the saute station did EVERYTHING wrong in making the sauce for the night's dinner special, a flatiron steak with a strange sauce that I cannot quite understand...
1. used "butter substitute"
2. before pan was even close to hot, added minced garlic and shallots
3. added chopped artichokes. yeah, chopped artichokes on a steak. WTF.
4. added a bunch of mass-produced "demi-glaze" sauce. :kingmeh:
5. added some madeira wine AFTER adding the industrial demi-glaze sauce and still BEFORE the pan was really hot.
6. had to cook it forever to get all the booze boiled off, lost track of it, over-reduced it, and...
7. FUCKING RECONSTITUTED IT WITH MORE MADEIRA AFTER IT WAS OFF THE BURNER. JUST STIRRED IT IN TO THIN IT OUT AND POURED THAT SHIT RIGHT OVER THAT PIECE OF SHOELEATHER FORMERLY KNOWN AS A STEAK. AND SERVED IT. TO A CUSTOMER.
8. Oh, and also I cooked off some fettucini noodles to perfect al dente, and was told AFTER shocking them and cooling them that "Oh, you have to cook those more, to like, 'all the way done'. We just reheat them in the microwave so they don't get cooked more."
:facepalm:
I need a paycheck, but I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stand this.
I nominate ECH to become the Gordon Ramsey of the Pacific Northwest.
Oh, but at least I get leered at by creepy old men. So there's that.
Pardon my continuing the threadjack, but where is this, ECH? Is this the gig in Seattle?
yeah, I meant to commiserate more than threadjack, but it's in Portland.
man, ECH, I feel for ya, that must be frustrating to no end .. :(
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 21, 2010, 07:40:24 PM
yeah, I meant to commiserate more than threadjack, but it's in Portland.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Damn Cain, sucks about your egg too.
Its not a serious thread, I don't mind threadjacking. Also it was eggs. Multiple. I wanted enough to make curry egg sandwiches, since I used to have them as a kid and was feeling nostalgic.
Also, I'm not really a sauce guy, unless absolutely needed I only do salads and vegetables and starters, but every single one of those points made me cringe like hell. Especially the butter substitute, since I've only ever tasted one that actually was anything like butter.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 21, 2010, 07:01:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 21, 2010, 06:02:12 PM
That bad, eh?
I'd also like it to be noted I had to show my boss how to do smothered chicken the other day. I have to work with him two days a week with him as the main chef, and he apparently doesn't know how to make anything more complicated than a hamburger, and he has to ask me, Burnt Boiled Eggs Guy, for advice :x
I stood there and watched as the guy running the saute station did EVERYTHING wrong in making the sauce for the night's dinner special, a flatiron steak with a strange sauce that I cannot quite understand...
1. used "butter substitute"
2. before pan was even close to hot, added minced garlic and shallots
3. added chopped artichokes. yeah, chopped artichokes on a steak. WTF.
4. added a bunch of mass-produced "demi-glaze" sauce. :kingmeh:
5. added some madeira wine AFTER adding the industrial demi-glaze sauce and still BEFORE the pan was really hot.
6. had to cook it forever to get all the booze boiled off, lost track of it, over-reduced it, and...
7. FUCKING RECONSTITUTED IT WITH MORE MADEIRA AFTER IT WAS OFF THE BURNER. JUST STIRRED IT IN TO THIN IT OUT AND POURED THAT SHIT RIGHT OVER THAT PIECE OF SHOELEATHER FORMERLY KNOWN AS A STEAK. AND SERVED IT. TO A CUSTOMER.
8. Oh, and also I cooked off some fettucini noodles to perfect al dente, and was told AFTER shocking them and cooling them that "Oh, you have to cook those more, to like, 'all the way done'. We just reheat them in the microwave so they don't get cooked more."
:facepalm:
I need a paycheck, but I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stand this.
Oh god. :x Even I am not that bad.
In all honesty, I've been known to sweat the aromatics over low heat for a long time.
The rest of it? Sweet merciful fuck.
Quote from: LMNO on January 21, 2010, 08:23:50 PM
In all honesty, I've been known to sweat the aromatics over low heat for a long time.
The rest of it? Sweet merciful fuck.
Yeah, that part was alright...
Quote from: Cain on January 21, 2010, 05:38:52 PM
I just burnt some boiled eggs. Boiled eggs. I dread to think what I would do with a microwave meal.
:x
also, FWIW, I've done this, and it is the 3rd worst smell I've ever created in a kitchen.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 22, 2010, 07:45:25 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 21, 2010, 05:38:52 PM
I just burnt some boiled eggs. Boiled eggs. I dread to think what I would do with a microwave meal.
:x
also, FWIW, I've done this, and it is the 3rd worst smell I've ever created in a kitchen.
You've shat twice in a kitchen?
2nd worst was the time I burned mussels and the shells actually melted to the pan.
worst was the time I quit my job at McDonalds when I was 18 (I only worked there so I could sell weed from the drive-thru window). I took off my hat and shirt (both made of polyester), tossed them onto one of the clamshell grills that had just been loaded up with burger patties, and closed the lid (clamshell grill grills from both sides simultaneously). THAT was a fucking stinky mess.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 22, 2010, 08:13:27 PM
2nd worst was the time I burned mussels and the shells actually melted to the pan.
worst was the time I quit my job at McDonalds when I was 18 (I only worked there so I could sell weed from the drive-thru window). I took off my hat and shirt (both made of polyester), tossed them onto one of the clamshell grills that had just been loaded up with burger patties, and closed the lid (clamshell grill grills from both sides simultaneously). THAT was a fucking stinky mess.
:lulz:
I ran a manager's polyester parka through a pizza oven, back in the day.
The smell actually wasn't too bad. The sausages I have in the freezer actually smell worse when cooked, regardless of how well cooked they are. Then again, given the quality of that meat, that probably doesn't mean much...
Ah, are they CMOT Dibbler brand?
Essentially. They're from Lidl. I know this means nothing to an American, but anyone from Europe is right now recoiling in horror, let me assure you.
Quote from: Cain on January 22, 2010, 08:33:28 PM
Essentially. They're from Lidl. I know this means nothing to an American, but anyone from Europe is right now recoiling in horror, let me assure you.
In fact I used to call all Lidl meat "Cut Me Own Throat Meat". There was a time when I survived off of Lidls food, I am not proud.
you don't buy meat at Lidl and live.