Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Da6s on January 21, 2010, 09:43:42 PM

Title: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Da6s on January 21, 2010, 09:43:42 PM
http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=116688&sectionid=351020704 (http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=116688&sectionid=351020704)


Quote
Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez Wednesday accused the United States of causing the destruction in Haiti by testing a 'tectonic weapon' to induce the catastrophic earthquake that hit the country last week.

President Chavez said the US was "playing God" by testing devices capable of creating eco-type catastrophes, the Spanish newspaper ABC quoted him as saying.


Chavez said the killer earthquake followed a test of "weapon of earthquakes" just offshore from Haiti. He did not elaborate on the source of his claim.

The outspoken leader had earlier accused the US of occupying Haiti "under the guise of the natural disaster."

At least 11,000 US troops have been dispatched to the country to provide security for aid distribution efforts.

Venezuelan media have reported that the earthquake "may be associated with the project called HAARP, a system that can generate violent and unexpected changes in climate."

HAARP, the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, is a study run in Alaska directed at the the occasional reconfiguration of the properties of the Earth's ionosphere to improve satellite communications.

:lulz:

I think he saw this and thought it was a documentary: (http://slafee.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/moviesci-the-core.jpg)
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: NotPublished on January 21, 2010, 10:01:11 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: The Johnny on January 21, 2010, 11:08:03 PM

Silly Chavez, the HAARP is just the laser pointer to call in the tectonic attacks by the alien lizard masters.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Jenne on January 21, 2010, 11:10:17 PM
Sometimes I think Chavez just has too much penis envy.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Requia ☣ on January 22, 2010, 03:40:30 AM
My money is on him trying to outdo Robertson.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: the last yatto on January 22, 2010, 04:45:17 AM
there was a theory IT couldnt effect things locally because of the analog signal of the local tv stations
were causing too much feedback. and they are now offline as its switched to digitial so its :fnord:
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Jasper on January 22, 2010, 07:42:25 AM
If nothing else, the timing on this one was very unlucky.  Looks pretty bad if you don't think too much about the actual science.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 22, 2010, 03:03:58 PM
America has a "weapon of earthquake"?  Damn we couldn't come up with a better name than that?  WTF?

Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: LMNO on January 22, 2010, 03:08:08 PM
I dunno... The acronym is "WOE".  Fairly accurate, if you ask me.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Jenne on January 22, 2010, 06:35:40 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 22, 2010, 03:08:08 PM
I dunno... The acronym is "WOE".  Fairly accurate, if you ask me.

:lulz:  :mittens:
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Template on January 24, 2010, 07:06:28 PM
"You're right, Mr. Chavez.  We have an earthquake weapon.  But--we were aiming at your histrionic face."
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on February 02, 2010, 03:12:59 AM
 :lulz:

Chavez is a fucking lulz-cow.
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Iason Ouabache on February 02, 2010, 04:14:08 AM
1) Why would the US want to occupy Haiti in the first place?

2) Don't you think the US could find cheaper/less lethal excuses to occupy a country like Haiti?
Title: Re: Mr. Chavez claims "US 'weapon' caused Haiti quake"
Post by: Jasper on February 02, 2010, 07:42:50 AM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on February 02, 2010, 04:14:08 AM
1) Why would the US want to occupy Haiti in the first place?

2) Don't you think the US could find cheaper/less lethal excuses to occupy a country like Haiti?

We need excuses?