Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cain on January 27, 2010, 05:30:03 PM

Title: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Cain on January 27, 2010, 05:30:03 PM
http://www.insidebayarea.com/weird-news/ci_14265049

QuoteMADISON, Wis. — A man serving life in prison for first-degree intentional homicide lost his legal battle today to play Dungeons & Dragons behind bars.

Kevin T. Singer filed a federal lawsuit against officials at Wisconsin's Waupun prison, arguing that a policy banning all Dungeons & Dragons material violated his free speech and due process rights.

Prison officials instigated the Dungeons & Dragons ban among concerns that playing the game promoted gang-related activity and was a threat to security. Singer challenged the ban but the 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Monday upheld it as a reasonable policy.

If only he'd murdered a few more people, he could've taken the Assassin prestige class and been able to cast Invisibility on himself, making prison much less of a hassle.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Cramulus on January 27, 2010, 05:31:44 PM
Quoteplaying the game promoted gang-related activity

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:


I am trying to imagine the tattoos
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:31:54 PM
QuotePrison officials instigated the Dungeons & Dragons ban among concerns that playing the game promoted gang-related activity and was a threat to security.

:lulz:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YO DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:36:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YOU DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"

Yeah, pretty sad.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:37:24 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:36:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YOU DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"

Yeah, pretty sad.

"So the DM says I failed my save and died.  So I shanked him in the chow line."
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:38:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:37:24 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:36:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YOU DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"

Yeah, pretty sad.

"So the DM says I failed my save and died.  So I shanked him in the chow line."

:lulz:  STOPIT!  :lulz:  Yer killin' me dude.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:38:57 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:38:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:37:24 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:36:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YOU DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"

Yeah, pretty sad.

"So the DM says I failed my save and died.  So I shanked him in the chow line."

:lulz:  STOPIT!  :lulz:  Yer killin' me dude.

The jokes pretty much write themselves.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on January 27, 2010, 07:55:03 PM
Well that's one way to ensure the nerds don't break the law!! I bet cybercrime will drop by 50% when thats public info

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 27, 2010, 08:37:48 PM
(http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/774280332_HXXsE-L.jpg)
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Richter on January 27, 2010, 08:49:17 PM
It gets better.  Seems like another inmate tattled to the guards on him, worried that they were starting a D+D centered gang, specifically.  Get the snitch out of general population now, before he gets his ass crammed full of d4 in the shower.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 08:49:56 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 27, 2010, 08:49:17 PM
It gets better.  Seems like another inmate tattled to the guards on him, worried that they were starting a D+D centered gang, specifically.  Get the snitch out of general population now, before he gets his ass crammed full of d4 in the shower.

He's gonna get shanked with a reaper mini.

:x
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Cain on January 27, 2010, 09:53:49 PM
Do you get sneak attack bonuses with one of those?
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 09:54:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 27, 2010, 09:53:49 PM
Do you get sneak attack bonuses with one of those?

Only if you put a bunch of them in a sock.

And what gamer would do that?
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on January 27, 2010, 09:56:51 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 09:54:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 27, 2010, 09:53:49 PM
Do you get sneak attack bonuses with one of those?

Only if you put a bunch of them in a sock.

And what gamer would do that?

Well, if they were gonna fap to their minis.......
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Freeky on January 27, 2010, 10:45:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 09:54:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 27, 2010, 09:53:49 PM
Do you get sneak attack bonuses with one of those?

Only if you put a bunch of them in a sock.

And what gamer would do that?
This made me cringe, thinking of all the bending and scuffing that would happen.  :sad:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 11:29:56 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on January 27, 2010, 10:45:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 09:54:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 27, 2010, 09:53:49 PM
Do you get sneak attack bonuses with one of those?

Only if you put a bunch of them in a sock.

And what gamer would do that?
This made me cringe, thinking of all the bending and scuffing that would happen.  :sad:

I made myself kinda queasy.  :(
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Freeky on January 27, 2010, 11:39:05 PM
No kidding.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Brotep on January 28, 2010, 03:28:06 AM
Whatever you do, don't fail your reflex save in the shower.

attack of opportunity  :x
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on January 28, 2010, 04:52:40 AM
Quote from: Brotep on January 28, 2010, 03:28:06 AM
Whatever you do, don't fail your reflex save in the shower.

attack of opportunity  :x

+4 Butt Plug of Resistance
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Brotep on January 28, 2010, 05:52:43 AM
Quote from: Ratatosk on January 28, 2010, 04:52:40 AM
Quote from: Brotep on January 28, 2010, 03:28:06 AM
Whatever you do, don't fail your reflex save in the shower.

attack of opportunity  :x

+4 Butt Plug of Resistance

sneak attack buttsecks
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Cain on January 28, 2010, 09:45:29 AM
You should see what you can do with a high escape artist check (http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=921167&inline_imaeg=1)...
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Freeky on January 28, 2010, 05:03:41 PM
Oh goddammit.  :lulz:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Triple Zero on January 28, 2010, 06:09:43 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 28, 2010, 09:45:29 AM
You should see what you can do with a high escape artist check (http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=921167&inline_imaeg=1)...

fuck yeah I almost forgot about that :lol:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 30, 2010, 01:51:52 AM
I think this would have me switching to a minimalist larp pretty quick.  No real hardware involved at all.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: 0 on January 30, 2010, 02:12:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 27, 2010, 05:34:15 PM
You know what's sad?  That sounds about right.  They don't like ANYthing in prison that promotes competition or contention.  So of course they'd call that "gang-related activity" to stir the pot and make themselves look responsible, just makes them look ridiculous, however.

"YO DAWG, I JUST LEVELED!"

You think Pablo's gunna get ink fuh dat?
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Brotep on January 30, 2010, 05:09:12 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 28, 2010, 09:45:29 AM
You should see what you can do with a high escape artist check (http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=921167&inline_imaeg=1)...

FFS  :lulz:
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on January 30, 2010, 07:38:59 PM
Of course, obviously everyone in that place is there because they failed a spot check.
Title: Re: You are hereby sentenced to no less than 4D10 years in prison
Post by: Freeky on February 01, 2010, 03:16:51 AM
They may possibly have been brain grabbed, though. Some anyway.