So, in a stroke of coincidence, I've been starting to grow a handlebar moustache.
I'm currently at the "Cranky Russian/Lazy Cop" stage, and I'm gonna need a comb and some wax pretty soon.
....So where the fuck do I find that? I'm pretty sure CVS doesn't carry it.
I found moustache wax at a Bartell's Drugs once.
Drug store or barber shop.
And may I commend you, sir, in reaching new levels in both Big Gay Cowboyism AND Evil Geniusism.
Quote from: LMNO on February 10, 2010, 08:35:43 PM
So, in a stroke of coincidence, I've been starting to grow a handlebar moustache.
I'm currently at the "Cranky Russian/Lazy Cop" stage, and I'm gonna need a comb and some wax pretty soon.
....So where the fuck do I find that? I'm pretty sure CVS doesn't carry it.
Yes they do. I used to see it all the time when I worked there.
Ah. I must look harder.
And I'll post pics with both a cowboy hat and a top hat.
Mustache wax is not available to the general public. One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite. On it will be an address. It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs. At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected. Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.
They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require. Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.
Quote from: EoC on February 10, 2010, 08:57:02 PM
Mustache wax is not available to the general public. One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite. On it will be an address. It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs. At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected. Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.
They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require. Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.
:potd:
What you need is a Villainous Victorian Velociraptor
http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=11537
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 10, 2010, 09:07:43 PM
http://cgi.ebay.com/WILD-HAIRS-BEHAVE-w-Oregon-Wild-Hair-Moustache-Wax_W0QQitemZ130366175075QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item1e5a6df763
I congratulate and commend you on commencing your moustache adventure, LMNO. Also, let me say that the above-linked wax smells GREAT and I highly recommend it, for your lady-smooching pleasure.
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:15:45 AM
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.
If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.
welly-well.
perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.
orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.
mmmm. almoniller.
Beeswax is the deal. there's totally an art to getting it to do what you want AND look fabulous. Kind of like how aquanet is. Don't use aquanet on your stache though.
Also, The idea of your fantastic moustache makes me forget you were ever a dick. Even if it's not true, please tell me you have a hairy chest.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 06:46:52 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:15:45 AM
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.
If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.
That sounds more like an enema elixir than something I'd rub in my facial hair. What is that? Like, Mean Mom's Moustache Muck?
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 07:24:40 AM
welly-well.
perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.
orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.
mmmm. almoniller.
protip: if you make a couple of different varieties "extra strong", "gloss care" and "curl shaper" (or whatever, pick some random words from the hairgel wax and spray section at your drugstore), you will sell more, make more moneys (if you make your profit margins, say, 2.0 (minimal), 2.5 and 3.0) and as an extra bonus you won't have to figure out the optimal recipe either, because they will pick the right recipe for you! :)
make sure to tag on loads of organic and bio handcrafted with micro lipides and nutri-ingredients and based on actual 17th century moustache couture and CRAMULUS SEAL OF APPROVAL on it.
because if there's one industry where you can lie your pants off and people will love you better for it, it's cosmetics.
Quote from: EoC on February 10, 2010, 08:57:02 PM
Mustache wax is not available to the general public. One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite. On it will be an address. It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs. At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected. Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.
They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require. Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.
Oh, is
that who that guy was?
No, that old guy was soliciting you for sex, wait a few more days for your mustache to grow.
But he gave me some moustache cream, via a most intriguing delivery system....
LMNO, you have inspired me and changed my life.
I had been thinking it was about time to get out the clippers and sheers to give my goatee a trim. The 'stache hairs were about to interfere with my eating, which is the usual sign it's time for such. After reading this thread though, I gathered the hairs and have a brief twist, jsut to experiment with the idea, you know, and viewed the result in my cubicle's blind spot mirror.
It was astounding! Even at minimal length they still took almost naturally to the twist, and held the most delightful upward curl.
I may have cried, a little. I will grow and wax, and submit the results as cameras allow.
BROTHER!
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 11, 2010, 10:59:39 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 07:24:40 AM
welly-well.
perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.
orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.
mmmm. almoniller.
protip: if you make a couple of different varieties "extra strong", "gloss care" and "curl shaper" (or whatever, pick some random words from the hairgel wax and spray section at your drugstore), you will sell more, make more moneys (if you make your profit margins, say, 2.0 (minimal), 2.5 and 3.0) and as an extra bonus you won't have to figure out the optimal recipe either, because they will pick the right recipe for you! :)
make sure to tag on loads of organic and bio handcrafted with micro lipides and nutri-ingredients and based on actual 17th century moustache couture and CRAMULUS SEAL OF APPROVAL on it.
because if there's one industry where you can lie your pants off and people will love you better for it, it's cosmetics.
You sir, are genius.
This thread= :lulz:
ooooh. instead of castor oil you can use shea butter.
which i think would be nicer.
Seriously. I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now. I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun..
Quote from: Richter on February 11, 2010, 04:16:25 PM
Seriously. I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now. I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun..
Do never use petroleum for perverse fun either. Water-based or GTFO.
Quote from: Suu on February 11, 2010, 04:21:00 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 11, 2010, 04:16:25 PM
Seriously. I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now. I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun..
Do never use petroleum for perverse fun either. Water-based or GTFO.
Unless you're fluid bonded.
I had more of a slip n' slide in mind.
Astroglide, definitely, but used over large surfaces it dries out too quick.
Vasoline slip n slide?
:horrormirth:
Quote from: Suu on February 11, 2010, 04:41:43 PM
Vasoline slip n slide?
:horrormirth:
That sounds like hilarious PAIN!
Shit. I wanna make some of this stuff this weekend. I should mail you dudes some to see if you like it/if it works!
Srsly? I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.
[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide. I can do that at home.]
Quote from: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 05:20:27 PM
Srsly? I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.
[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide. I can do that at home.]
You don't have to pay shipping
It's my experiment.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:35:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 05:20:27 PM
Srsly? I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.
[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide. I can do that at home.]
You don't have to pay shipping
It's my experiment.
MAD MUSTACHE SCIENCE. :fap:
2nd'ed.
I'll happily provide postage, or reciprocation of randome stuffs for the stache wax of Squid.
Awesome :lulz:
This old lady's hippy ass herb shop is still in the same place it's been for the last 100 years or so and she has all the shit I need.
Even the little salve jars or metal tins.
Preference? (of containers and smells)
Metal tin, nothing too overpowering.
Sorry, sorry. I forgot my schtick.
Metal tin, SMELLS LIKE THE DAY AFTER THE PLATO'S RETREAT GERIATRIC FUNDRAISER.
Quote from: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 06:30:25 PM
Sorry, sorry. I forgot my schtick.
Metal tin, SMELLS LIKE THE DAY AFTER THE PLATO'S RETREAT GERIATRIC FUNDRAISER.
:spit:
:lulz: so polydent and icy hot?
MAN! I wish I knew what to mix to get it to smell like Terrapin's wake and bake coffee stout and old motor oil.
MMMMMMMmmmmmm. I could smell that shit all day.
If you could make it smell like black truffles, I would shit myself.
In lieu of that, maybe almonds? Or perhaps something "darker". I'm bad at naming smell profiles.
But like I said, something mild.
I think this bitch has a truffle smelly oil
almonds are nice. I'll mix one up pretty.
Can't stink it up too much since it's going right under your nose.
I have a sensitive sniffer so if I think it'll give me a headache then it probably won't do.
Cool.
Ima whip this shit up on Saturday.
Yeah, a slight scent is cool, but anything potent under my nose if I catch a migraine would be horrific.
Quote from: E.O.T. on February 11, 2010, 08:17:12 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 06:46:52 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:15:45 AM
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.
If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.
That sounds more like an enema elixir than something I'd rub in my facial hair. What is that? Like, Mean Mom's Moustache Muck?
For your information, castor oil is an awesome cosmetic product and I've been rubbing it all over my whole body and in my hair for the last five years or so. It's on my skin RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND. It's odorless, has great viscosity, and doesn't go rancid easily, so it's ideal for pomades and salves.
I should rub some on your scalp, you're flaking.
Quote from: Richter on February 11, 2010, 01:24:29 PM
LMNO, you have inspired me and changed my life.
I had been thinking it was about time to get out the clippers and sheers to give my goatee a trim. The 'stache hairs were about to interfere with my eating, which is the usual sign it's time for such. After reading this thread though, I gathered the hairs and have a brief twist, jsut to experiment with the idea, you know, and viewed the result in my cubicle's blind spot mirror.
It was astounding! Even at minimal length they still took almost naturally to the twist, and held the most delightful upward curl.
I may have cried, a little. I will grow and wax, and submit the results as cameras allow.
Richter, you have become a god.
Quote from: Suu on February 11, 2010, 04:41:43 PM
Vasoline slip n slide?
:horrormirth:
This reminds me of the time me and my ex got a motel room and a bottle of almond oil.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 09:30:39 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on February 11, 2010, 08:17:12 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 06:46:52 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:15:45 AM
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.
If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.
That sounds more like an enema elixir than something I'd rub in my facial hair. What is that? Like, Mean Mom's Moustache Muck?
For your information, castor oil is an awesome cosmetic product and I've been rubbing it all over my whole body and in my hair for the last five years or so. It's on my skin RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND. It's odorless, has great viscosity, and doesn't go rancid easily, so it's ideal for pomades and salves.
I should rub some on your scalp, you're flaking.
YOU
Truly are eevil
SO WHAT
The fuck is that stench then?
Quote from: E.O.T. on February 11, 2010, 09:34:41 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 09:30:39 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on February 11, 2010, 08:17:12 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 06:46:52 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 11, 2010, 05:15:45 AM
I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.
Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.
I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.
If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.
That sounds more like an enema elixir than something I'd rub in my facial hair. What is that? Like, Mean Mom's Moustache Muck?
For your information, castor oil is an awesome cosmetic product and I've been rubbing it all over my whole body and in my hair for the last five years or so. It's on my skin RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND. It's odorless, has great viscosity, and doesn't go rancid easily, so it's ideal for pomades and salves.
I should rub some on your scalp, you're flaking.
YOU
Truly are eevil
SO WHAT
The fuck is that stench then?
1. You're just figuring that out?
2. "Provocative Woman" by Elizabeth Arden.
DO YOU FEEL PROVOKED? :lulz:
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 09:59:08 PM
DO YOU FEEL PROVOKED? :lulz:
I THINK
That I'm being provoked
BUT
My reaction may not be what Elisabeth had in mind.
Quote from: E.O.T. on February 11, 2010, 10:37:45 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 11, 2010, 09:59:08 PM
DO YOU FEEL PROVOKED? :lulz:
I THINK
That I'm being provoked
BUT
My reaction may not be what Elisabeth had in mind.
I was hoping that someone had FINALLY concocted a perfume that would inspire generalized rage.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/00d6c374.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/78c7b08c.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/4aa8b8e2.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v711/Marburger/ca0fffaf.jpg)
This is a marvellous development, LMNO, and I can't wait to see the progress on that thing as it emerges from your face.
Fucking hell, LMNO. :fap:
AWESOME!!
Very nice, LMNO. The first one kind of evokes a monopolistic railroad tycoon.
(http://209.85.48.11/9326/75/emo/monocle.gif)
Can't see it here. :(
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 12, 2010, 03:15:41 PM
this http://www.zend2.com/Go.php?u=Oi8vaW1nLnBob3RvYnVja2V0LmNvbS9hbGJ1bXMvdjcxMS9NYXJidXJnZXIvMDBkNmMzNzQuanBn&b=5&f=norefer work?
you must gaze on the glory.
QuoteYour organization's Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time.
I finished the wax.
I tested it on the end of my hair and it seems like it could work.
I have two 1 oz. tins and four 1/4 oz. tins. (also one 1/4 oz. tin that I stuck my finger in)
They smell a little like birthday cake.
If you want one, pm me w/ info and tell me what size.
Also, critique it when you get it. Too stiff? Too loose? Too stinky? You decide!
Bump because...
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 13, 2010, 01:42:59 AM
I finished the wax.
I tested it on the end of my hair and it seems like it could work.
I have two 1 oz. tins and four 1/4 oz. tins. (also one 1/4 oz. tin that I stuck my finger in)
They smell a little like birthday cake.
If you want one, pm me w/ info and tell me what size.
Also, critique it when you get it. Too stiff? Too loose? Too stinky? You decide!
you want or no want?
How much you charge, Squiddy dear?
Also, LMNO, quite dapper! Love the topper and suit combo!
Quote from: Jenne on February 13, 2010, 07:27:06 PM
How much you charge, Squiddy dear?
nothing?
I've never made this stuff before. I don't know if it works.
I'm wracking my brains for someone that this would be good for. Meh, only person I can think of is my nefarious father-in-law. Not sure I like him enough to send him homemade goodies like yours...
Quote from: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 05:20:27 PM
Srsly? I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.
[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide. I can do that at home.]
Quote from: Richter on February 11, 2010, 05:40:48 PM
2nd'ed.
I'll happily provide postage, or reciprocation of randome stuffs for the stache wax of Squid.
You guys want this stuff or no? I have no use for it.
But I know some people who might.
I'm in, Squid.
I'll take one! I don't have a moustache... yet.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 15, 2010, 11:26:09 PM
I'll take one! I don't have a moustache... yet.
:lulz:
Ok. I think I'm gonna add something a little looser like castor oil or more coconut oil. I think it may be too stiff.
But luckily I'm home early so I'll do it in a few.
PM sent.
:)
Also done.
My 'stache hairs are pratically handlebarring themselve sin anticipation.
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 13, 2010, 07:25:50 PM
Bump because...
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 13, 2010, 01:42:59 AM
I finished the wax.
I tested it on the end of my hair and it seems like it could work.
I have two 1 oz. tins and four 1/4 oz. tins. (also one 1/4 oz. tin that I stuck my finger in)
They smell a little like birthday cake.
If you want one, pm me w/ info and tell me what size.
Also, critique it when you get it. Too stiff? Too loose? Too stinky? You decide!
you want or no want?
Is this still a possibility?
They smell a little like birthday cake. :lulz: