Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Bring and Brag => Topic started by: Cramulus on February 16, 2010, 04:53:57 PM

Title: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on February 16, 2010, 04:53:57 PM
Here's a short story I've been working on for a while. I'm trying to get back into the swing of fiction writing. This is a comedy about two futuristic cowboys (?) engaged in a neverending feud. Enjoy!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/26944637/The-Showdown
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Reginald Ret on February 16, 2010, 05:36:36 PM
HaHAAAAA!
that was great :D
you have been spending too much time on the internet though :P

on page 3:
QuoteRex's hair as the milk dripped into the
bucket. Without Pepper, the bucket
wouldn't be quite as full today. 
Shouldn't wouldn't be won't?
like this:
QuoteRex's hair as the milk dripped into the
bucket. Without Pepper, the bucket
won't be quite as full today.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on February 16, 2010, 07:28:28 PM
Quote from: Regret on February 16, 2010, 05:36:36 PM
Shouldn't wouldn't be won't?

nope, I don't think so.

glad you liked it though!


Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 16, 2010, 05:47:26 PM
Hay cram, any chance of a link plain .txt version with no columns so I can read it on my kindle if its not too much bother at all please?

if you click the download link on the scribd page, you can choose to download it as a plain txt.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Triple Zero on February 16, 2010, 08:49:28 PM
sounds awesome, will read this later.



(and Regret, afaik "won't" is short for "will not be" but not for "would not be")
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: The Wizard on February 16, 2010, 09:11:28 PM
Nice. This was good. Didn't see the end coming, though I did expect both of them to die.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on September 29, 2010, 05:19:44 PM
BUMP - I just re-read this for the first time since like March, and zang, this shit's bananas!


a few places could use some rewriting... perhaps expand the ending a bit more. And Hank's dialogue should get more drawly - less "I'm going to get you!" and more "Imma gonna get ye!"
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 29, 2010, 05:37:16 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on February 16, 2010, 04:53:57 PM
Here's a short story I've been working on for a while. I'm trying to get back into the swing of fiction writing. This is a comedy about two futuristic cowboys (?) engaged in a neverending feud. Enjoy!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/26944637/The-Showdown

Nannywall.   :argh!:

Hit youtube and listen to "Two Gunslingers" by Tom Petty.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on September 29, 2010, 05:57:42 PM
not sure if this'll get past a firewall, but here's the file: http://ifile.it/vi6ok03
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Doktor Howl on September 29, 2010, 06:01:24 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 29, 2010, 05:57:42 PM
not sure if this'll get past a firewall, but here's the file: http://ifile.it/vi6ok03

Nope.

I'll look at it at home.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 01, 2010, 02:45:04 PM
This is fucking awesome!!! Type formatting is off in places (seems italics are screwing things up) but the story ... fucking brilliant! :mittens:

Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on October 01, 2010, 02:52:37 PM
Thanks man!

were there any parts of it that worked particularly well, or not particularly well?
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 01, 2010, 03:14:09 PM
Think it all worked fine. The whole way you handled the concept stuff with the animals made it for me. I was simultaneously pissing myself laughing and in awe of your fucked up imagination.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on October 01, 2010, 03:32:18 PM
 :lol: thanks again

I'd like to think that this story makes the events of Pac Man and Miss Pac Man make a little more sense.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on October 01, 2010, 04:55:48 PM
oh, and posted to my blaggg: http://cramul.us/2010/10/the-showdown/
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Eater of Clowns on October 01, 2010, 05:32:45 PM
I thought it was great fun.  Sad as fuck, for some reason, when the kid is all upset about the broken boob.  But my favorite part was when you just outright said that it was jizz that they were drinking, because the whole story I, and I'm sure other readers, were thinking "jizz.  they're drinking jizz.  IT'S JIZZ."  Coming out and saying it just made it hilarious.
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 02, 2010, 12:37:44 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 01, 2010, 05:32:45 PM
I thought it was great fun.  Sad as fuck, for some reason, when the kid is all upset about the broken boob.  But my favorite part was when you just outright said that it was jizz that they were drinking, because the whole story I, and I'm sure other readers, were thinking "jizz.  they're drinking jizz.  IT'S JIZZ."  Coming out and saying it just made it hilarious.

THIS! :lulz:
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Triple Zero on October 07, 2010, 07:50:44 AM
I JIZZED YOUR STORE ALL OVER THE TWITTERNETS http://twitter.com/tripzilch/status/26626703564
Title: Re: The Showdown
Post by: Cramulus on July 20, 2011, 02:43:52 PM
bump because I need to write more fiction