Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on February 19, 2010, 02:52:43 AM

Title: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on February 19, 2010, 02:52:43 AM
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/02/terry_kleiman_broke_into_ex-gi.php
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: E.O.T. on February 19, 2010, 02:59:28 AM
THERE'S

          not a lot to do in Wisconsin.

WHERE

          was my hot sex me up teacher?
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 19, 2010, 03:10:03 AM
Charged with "sexing up"? Is that how it's going to read on the docket?
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Jasper on February 19, 2010, 04:22:06 AM
Hot dog!
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Freeky on February 19, 2010, 04:36:39 AM
GODDAMIT I HATE PEOPLE!
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Jasper on February 19, 2010, 06:06:10 AM
Seriously.  I hate to see good dog like that go begging.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Richter on February 19, 2010, 12:59:51 PM
This bugs me.  It's wrong.

The poodle should have been properly an humanely slaughtered.  Gutted, skinned and preppared like a chicken.  After being cooked for an appropriate amount of time, it could be removed from the over to the fridge, with the accompanying carrots, celery and potatoes like a leftover pot roast. 

I'm guessing that a vinagrette would be best for roasting.  since you don't have the tiem before the ex comes home to hang or otherwise age the dog.  You'll want whatever you cook it with to tenderize it some.  Yeah, you'll be covering the bitch in tin foil too for some slow roast fun.

Clean up the kitchen, take out the trash, everythign as you found it, etc.

Now, I'm not saying cooking and eating housepets is cool.  I'm saying if you're going to be crazy, CARE.  Put some effort in, like you're GM'ing a tabletop game.  Lead your mark through an experience, that culminates with them finding the dog arranged like leftovers in the fridge.  They likely won't notice it, if they panic and go looking for the dog.  It will be later, when they finally set eyes on an oddly proportioned, but elegantly prepared roast that they start to wonder if that long carcass really COULD be little Fifi. 

They won't know.

Not knowing is half the battle

::HP LOVECRAFT Logo::     
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Triple Zero on February 19, 2010, 03:01:52 PM
Richter has spoken.

LISTEN TO THIS MAN

THIS FOOD'LL MAKE EVERYBODY SAY TOODLE TO THEIR POODLE
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Freeky on February 19, 2010, 03:39:58 PM
You know something, Richter? Your recipe didn't bother me near as much as the article did, and I don't know how I feel about that. :horrormirth:
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 03:48:59 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 19, 2010, 04:36:39 AM
GODDAMIT I HATE PEOPLE!

I still need to borrow that puppy of yours.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Freeky on February 19, 2010, 03:51:32 PM
Ahem.









































MY

FCUKING

PUPPY!
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Richter on February 19, 2010, 04:14:28 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 19, 2010, 03:39:58 PM
You know something, Richter? Your recipe didn't bother me near as much as the article did, and I don't know how I feel about that. :horrormirth:

:)

There's the obvious satire element, hope I played that up enough.  I'd never hurt a housepet, as long as it was healthy and not trying to hurt me. 

I think there's also kind of a "Hannibal Lechter" effect to something like that.  Sure, you're talking about a vile act, killing soemthign defenseless to get back at someone else.  Performing this act in a careful, genteel way though gives it a REALLY weird sort of dissonance.  It still has it's appeal.  (I read somewhere that laughter is our brains bascially getting so uncomfortable they don't know what else to do.  Pretty sure this follows the same lines.)
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Freeky on February 19, 2010, 04:17:41 PM
That makes sense.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 04:18:41 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 19, 2010, 03:51:32 PM
Ahem.


I only need it for 3 hours.  Two, if I charge the capacitors in advance.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Triple Zero on February 19, 2010, 04:41:22 PM
Plus, you'll get TWO of them in return!
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 04:44:50 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 19, 2010, 04:41:22 PM
Plus, you'll get TWO of them in return!

Technically, anyway.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Freeky on February 19, 2010, 04:45:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 04:18:41 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 19, 2010, 03:51:32 PM
Ahem.


I only need it for 3 hours.  Two, if I charge the capacitors in advance.

:x :cry: :x

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIPPIES CRY, DOKTOR HOWL?
Title: Re: EXTREMELY HUNGRY WISCONSONITE COOKS EX'S POODLE!
Post by: Triple Zero on February 19, 2010, 04:59:12 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 04:44:50 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 19, 2010, 04:41:22 PM
Plus, you'll get TWO of them in return!

Technically, anyway.

True, but who can resist the authentic quality of 100% pure puppy from concentrated puppy, 169g of puppy used for every 100g of product ?