Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:06:23 PM

Title: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:06:23 PM
GENUINE

Justin Bieber:  http://www.vevo.com/watch/justin-bieber/baby/USUV71000127  <--- heave warning.

Justin Bieber is REAL because he has Blacks and Hispanics around him, helping him get his girl back.

AUTHENTIC

Justin Timberlake:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJHYDkvRB2Y&feature=related  

Justin Timberlake is REAL because he carts a dozen Black guys around with him to tell you how REAL he is before he performs.

THE REAL DEAL

Taylor Swift:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCMqcFAigRg

Taylor Swift is REAL because she plays guitar.  Well, not really.  But mimes it.  That's pretty REAL.





Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 20, 2010, 07:47:01 PM
I like Justin Timberlake.  :cry:

I don't know who those other two are, though.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: BabylonHoruv on February 20, 2010, 07:50:47 PM
Now that Justin Timberlake does comedy I actually really enjoy his stuff.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: bds on February 20, 2010, 07:51:31 PM
I like Taylor Swift, to be honest. Although perhaps not her acting.

EDIT: Justin Bieber is a weiner though.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Triple Zero on February 20, 2010, 08:51:41 PM
TRADITIONAL

De Mosselman:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuZ59CUBkwY

De Mosselman is REAL because he EATS THE HELL OUT OF that dish of traditional Sealand* mussels with hollandaise sauce AND STOMPS AROUND on WOODEN SHOES in front of WINDMILLS





* ACTUAL AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL Sealand is a Dutch province, the name of which those sneaky Kiwi's stole from us because they ran out of cool names for their own country or something.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 20, 2010, 09:00:28 PM
I like Justin Timberlake, because it appears as though he knows what a douchebag his boy-band singer-dancer persona is, pokes fun at it frequently, and seems to be a genuinely funny motherfucker anytime he's caught being genuine.

Plus, he was IN B4 KFED, back when Brittney was still trashy/hot, not just trashy.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: E.O.T. on February 20, 2010, 09:04:56 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 20, 2010, 08:51:41 PM
TRADITIONAL

De Mosselman:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuZ59CUBkwY

De Mosselman is REAL because he EATS THE HELL OUT OF that dish of traditional Sealand* mussels with hollandaise sauce AND STOMPS AROUND on WOODEN SHOES in front of WINDMILLS





* ACTUAL AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL Sealand is a Dutch province, the name of which those sneaky Kiwi's stole from us because they ran out of cool names for their own country or something.

KIWI'S

          ?
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Bonsai Ent on February 20, 2010, 09:06:06 PM
Timberlake is REAL, because unlike some musicians that are just "found" Timberlake was made. You need craftsmanship for that.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 20, 2010, 09:18:44 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 20, 2010, 08:51:41 PM
TRADITIONAL

De Mosselman:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuZ59CUBkwY

De Mosselman is REAL because he EATS THE HELL OUT OF that dish of traditional Sealand* mussels with hollandaise sauce AND STOMPS AROUND on WOODEN SHOES in front of WINDMILLS





* ACTUAL AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL Sealand is a Dutch province, the name of which those sneaky Kiwi's stole from us because they ran out of cool names for their own country or something.

Ima go with this one  :)
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 20, 2010, 09:57:31 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 09:00:28 PM
I like Justin Timberlake, because it appears as though he knows what a douchebag his boy-band singer-dancer persona is, pokes fun at it frequently, and seems to be a genuinely funny motherfucker anytime he's caught being genuine.

Plus, he was IN B4 KFED, back when Brittney was still trashy/hot, not just trashy.

I like JT because he was funny BEFORE he was funny, and he knows it.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on February 20, 2010, 10:11:15 PM
(http://cache.boston.com/resize/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2010/02/05/1265426484_9190/539w.jpg)
Title: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 12:18:44 AM
Well Ladies & Gentleman, we never managed to kill The Great Reverend Roger before he underwent metamorphosis into his new 'mad scientist' persona. However, I believe the following link may have been a strong contender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHVhwcOg6y8

Don't blame me, I was challenged by Step Mang #3 to watch this after dinner. (Which I did and I now feel like eating my own face.)

This talentless, ball-less, soul-less, corporate little whore was brought to you courtesy of Usher (in case you want to know where to direct your hate mail.) The little bastard will make you think that Taylor Swift was Patsy Cline.

So my good Doktor, as a master of truly evil science, please explain how this travesty was made and how might we  a) stop it
              b) profit from it
              c) combination of a & b.

Best wishes from SSOOKN Revolting Gag Gift Dept.

Mangrove
Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 12:23:03 AM
CRAPP  :argh!:  :argh!:


Sorry Dok - I just found your Really Real Musicians Thread  :x

You beat me to it.

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Salty on February 22, 2010, 12:50:20 AM
Hey, don't feel so bad. I missed that other one, and this cause me to shit all my back molars in one go.

:argh!:
Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 12:54:13 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 12:23:03 AM
CRAPP  :argh!:  :argh!:


Sorry Dok - I just found your Really Real Musicians Thread  :x

You beat me to it.

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

You want I should merge 'em?

And I appreciate the thought.
Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 12:55:56 AM
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 12:50:20 AM
Hey, don't feel so bad. I missed that other one, and this cause me to shit all my back molars in one go.

:argh!:

The other thread has two other "musicians" in it, that are almost as bad.
Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 01:20:03 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 12:54:13 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 12:23:03 AM
CRAPP  :argh!:  :argh!:


Sorry Dok - I just found your Really Real Musicians Thread  :x

You beat me to it.

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

You want I should merge 'em?

And I appreciate the thought.

Merge away my good man!

I believe that these abominations were genetically spliced from some leftover semen found at a Backstreet Boys concert so merging them all together into one hideous melange would be appropriate.

Step Mang #3 relayed the awful tale of how his friends had mentioned Justin Bieber last night. SM3 said "Huh? I have no goddamn idea what you're talking about - I don't listen to shit music." So, naturally, after they left the bar and found their way to a computer, SM3 googled JB and, after watching the clip went into a frothy rant about how he hasn't experienced such intense musical hatred in such a long time.

I told him about how Doktor Howl (tafkatgrr*) had 'discovered' Taylor Swift and about how much it made his day  :D Thus I thought it was only fair to pass on the miserable experience I had to suffer after what was, otherwise, a really nice dinner.



*(the artist formerly known as the great reverend roger).

Title: Re: A gift for Doktor Howl
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 01:25:43 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 01:20:03 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 12:54:13 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 22, 2010, 12:23:03 AM
CRAPP  :argh!:  :argh!:


Sorry Dok - I just found your Really Real Musicians Thread  :x

You beat me to it.

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

You want I should merge 'em?

And I appreciate the thought.

Merge away my good man!

I believe that these abominations were genetically spliced from some leftover semen found at a Backstreet Boys concert so merging them all together into one hideous melange would be appropriate.

Step Mang #3 relayed the awful tale of how his friends had mentioned Justin Bieber last night. SM3 said "Huh? I have no goddamn idea what you're talking about - I don't listen to shit music." So, naturally, after they left the bar and found their way to a computer, SM3 googled JB and, after watching the clip went into a frothy rant about how he hasn't experienced such intense musical hatred in such a long time.

I told him about how Doktor Howl (tafkatgrr*) had 'discovered' Taylor Swift and about how much it made his day  :D Thus I thought it was only fair to pass on the miserable experience I had to suffer after what was, otherwise, a really nice dinner.



*(the artist formerly known as the great reverend roger).



This is the face of modern music, Mang.  There will be no more Elton Johns and Mick Jaggers.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Salty on February 22, 2010, 05:07:37 PM
Taylor Swift:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCMqcFAigRg (http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/johnny-cash-431x300.jpg)
                                                                                                 /
                                                                                     Aw, now, wut?

Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Dimocritus on February 22, 2010, 07:57:02 PM
I've been doing it wrong the whole time? That's it. I'm trading in the PA for PR...
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 07:58:28 PM
Quote from: dimo on February 22, 2010, 07:57:02 PM
I've been doing it wrong the whole time? That's it. I'm trading in the PA for PR...

Yes, you need to spend less time being authentic, and more time telling everyone how authentic you are.

It's how it's done, these days.  Just ask Oscar De Larocha.
Title: Re: Really Real Musicians
Post by: Dimocritus on February 22, 2010, 08:00:13 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 22, 2010, 07:58:28 PM
Quote from: dimo on February 22, 2010, 07:57:02 PM
I've been doing it wrong the whole time? That's it. I'm trading in the PA for PR...

Yes, you need to spend less time being authentic, and more time telling everyone how authentic you are.

It's how it's done, these days.  Just ask Oscar De Larocha.

But.. I am authentic! I really am!

Repeat untill you've accepted it as a personal truth.