Now, I'm sure I've bitched about how much I hate my job, but something weird happened today. I have one of those jobs where it's very easy to sit and stew in my delicious brain juices because the actual work is very mindless and un-challenging.
Today I envisioned the typical "office shooter" scenario. It was quite vivid and emotional. I went up and down the rows in my mind thinking of who I'd shoot, who I'd spare, where I'd start.
I thought the best thing to do would go into the old lady boss's office, rip her phone out of the wall and tell her to get on the floor and fucking stay there. For some reason I respect her. She's an artist. Then I'd shoot the skeezy bastard in the next cubicle over. He doesn't deserve his position and he's a jerk.
Up and down the isles, shoot one, spare another.
This guy in r&d that I hate. His attitude is so terrible that I'd really like to shoot him, but I'd consider it a mercy killing, and I'm merciless at this point, so instead I'd just bash him on the snout with the butt of the gun a few times and make him yell "THANK YOU SIR!" and call it good. Mostly because he would be expecting to get shot, and I think a part of him would welcome it. So nuh uh. Not happenin.
I was actually shocked at who would get it and who wouldn't. I would totally shoot this guy that I've called a friend. And even hung out with off the clock. Yup. BANG! And then spare the others who I don't give a rat's ass about, but they have what seems to be a nice little family life.
Weird.
This could be the basis of a good book, or news story.
:postpics:
:lulz: WHAT?
there's no pics. it didn't really happen :lulz:
it was just thoughts.
silly :P
I'M SAVING THIS
as evidence.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:26:51 AM
:lulz: WHAT?
there's no pics. it didn't really happen :lulz:
it was just thoughts.
silly :P
Do it. Then post pics?
Oh, you scamp
:D
Squid, I so love you.
This thread makes me :lulz:
either you are reaching enlightenment or you need to find a new job stat!
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 04:40:38 AM
Now, I'm sure I've bitched about how much I hate my job, but something weird happened today. I have one of those jobs where it's very easy to sit and stew in my delicious brain juices because the actual work is very mindless and un-challenging.
Today I envisioned the typical "office shooter" scenario. It was quite vivid and emotional. I went up and down the rows in my mind thinking of who I'd shoot, who I'd spare, where I'd start.
I thought the best thing to do would go into the old lady boss's office, rip her phone out of the wall and tell her to get on the floor and fucking stay there. For some reason I respect her. She's an artist. Then I'd shoot the skeezy bastard in the next cubicle over. He doesn't deserve his position and he's a jerk.
Up and down the isles, shoot one, spare another.
This guy in r&d that I hate. His attitude is so terrible that I'd really like to shoot him, but I'd consider it a mercy killing, and I'm merciless at this point, so instead I'd just bash him on the snout with the butt of the gun a few times and make him yell "THANK YOU SIR!" and call it good. Mostly because he would be expecting to get shot, and I think a part of him would welcome it. So nuh uh. Not happenin.
I was actually shocked at who would get it and who wouldn't. I would totally shoot this guy that I've called a friend. And even hung out with off the clock. Yup. BANG! And then spare the others who I don't give a rat's ass about, but they have what seems to be a nice little family life.
Weird.
I don't think there's a person alive who hasn't fantasized about running amok at work.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:08:20 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.
Well, no. I don't work in an office. I don't work at all. I suppose that might have something to do with it: lack of motive. :lulz:
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 05:12:40 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:08:20 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.
Well, no. I don't work in an office. I don't work at all. I suppose that might have something to do with it: lack of motive. :lulz:
There's a reason most company rules forbid bringing harpoon guns to work.
Just saying.
Dammit, now I want a cubicle-mounted harpoon gun.
Quote from: LMNO on February 24, 2010, 05:15:25 PM
Dammit, now I want a cubicle-mounted harpoon gun.
Yep. I can almost feel the recoil, and hear the line play out, as Mike the Engineer takes one in the blubber.
Did I mention that these are the explody type?
Yeah.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 24, 2010, 05:14:31 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 05:12:40 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:08:20 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.
Well, no. I don't work in an office. I don't work at all. I suppose that might have something to do with it: lack of motive. :lulz:
There's a reason most company rules forbid bringing harpoon guns to work.
Just saying.
We actually have one of these signs
(http://www.compliancesigns.com/media/OSHA/ONE-4730-R_150.gif)
only with pictures of what you're not allowed to have. a gun, a knife, a grenade, on the front of the building.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:54:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 24, 2010, 05:14:31 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 05:12:40 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:08:20 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already
That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.
You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.
Well, no. I don't work in an office. I don't work at all. I suppose that might have something to do with it: lack of motive. :lulz:
There's a reason most company rules forbid bringing harpoon guns to work.
Just saying.
We actually have one of these signs
(http://www.compliancesigns.com/media/OSHA/ONE-4730-R_150.gif)
only with pictures of what you're not allowed to have. a gun, a knife, a grenade, on the front of the building.
Technically, a harpoon gun isn't a weapon.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:54:49 PM
We actually have one of these signs
(http://www.compliancesigns.com/media/OSHA/ONE-4730-R_150.gif)
only with pictures of what you're not allowed to have. a gun, a knife, a grenade, on the front of the building.
WOMP demands a pic of this.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 24, 2010, 05:11:24 PM
I don't think there's a person alive who hasn't fantasized about running amok at work.
I have no actually fantasized about this. However I have made a list of people who are most likely to go postal. We have too many questionable characters here.
Quote from: Jason Wabash on February 25, 2010, 01:23:23 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 24, 2010, 05:11:24 PM
I don't think there's a person alive who hasn't fantasized about running amok at work.
I have no actually fantasized about this. However I have made a list of people who are most likely to go postal. We have too many questionable characters here.
There's been a couple of clients I've wanted to dump in the river.
Ah, reading through this thread brings me back to my days working at Kohls department store. Who would i shoot and who would I not. I do know for a fact tho I would of shot my boss, ripped off her head, and proceed to shit down her neck. :D
Mork! So happy to see your sunshine filled text. :lulz:
My time at Game Crazy got like this. Except it was all and only the management who would have been on the receiving end, right on up to Sheriff, the CEO-type person at the top of the ladder.
Weapon of choice? a wii mote launched at high speeds. I think the harpoon gun might have been better, though.
Quote from: LMNO on February 24, 2010, 06:46:38 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:54:49 PM
We actually have one of these signs
(http://www.compliancesigns.com/media/OSHA/ONE-4730-R_150.gif)
only with pictures of what you're not allowed to have. a gun, a knife, a grenade, on the front of the building.
WOMP demands a pic of this.
I'll get a pic tomorrow (if i remember)
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 25, 2010, 01:36:34 AM
Mork! So happy to see your sunshine filled text. :lulz:
Thank you, thank you. :lulz: