Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: NotPublished on March 06, 2010, 11:20:28 AM

Title: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 06, 2010, 11:20:28 AM
OK SPAGS, YOU GUYS ARE MY ONLY ENTERTAINMENT SOURCE FOR TONIGHT!

ANYWAY I AM THE MASTER AT MAKING TOAST.



Ingredients

1x Toast
1x Toaster
1x Mum (Mom for American equivalent)



1) Get Bread
(http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/6312/01custom2.jpg)

2) GET APPROX 2 BREADSLICE NO MORE NO LESS (IGNORE MOLD ITS SAFE EAT IT)
(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/520/02custom2.jpg)

3) STARE AT TOASTER. TRY MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOUR STRUGGLING
(http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/3703/03custom2.jpg)

4) GENTLY EASE YOUR WAY INTO SLOT. IF JAMMED, REINSERT AGAIN GENTLY OTHERWISE MUM WILL GET MAD
(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/2817/04custom2.jpg)

5) CHECK PD FORUMS
(http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8135/06custom2.jpg)
(http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/6597/05custom2.jpg)

6) GET WARNING FROM ANGRY MUM THAT YOUR TOAST IS BURNING
  TOAST BURNING!!!
 /
(http://thumb18.webshots.net/t/26/27/0/51/43/313705143OGwyZE_th.jpg)

7) FAIL MISREABLY THEN BIN IT.
(http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/6568/07custom2.jpg)

8) GET MUM TO MAKE YOU PROPER FOOD ! Or make cereal or take out! CAUSE WTF IS TOAST SERIOUSLY?

ENJOY!

Remember the more you struggle, the better food you get!
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 06, 2010, 04:02:10 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on March 06, 2010, 11:20:28 AM
4) GENTLY EASE YOUR WAY INTO SLOT. IF JAMMED, REINSERT AGAIN GENTLY OTHERWISE MUM WILL GET MAD

NP, just, ugh.
:facepalm:
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 06, 2010, 04:06:20 PM
This does make me think we need an epic cooking disaster thread.  If I were at all coherent enough to take a picture following a rage fueled cooking fuckup I could populate that shit in a day.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 06, 2010, 10:56:11 PM
I really did burn toast thanks to PD :( I have a bad habbit sometimes that I get impatient while waiting for food to cook I just wonder away thinking it'll be good

DISASTER THREAD IS GOOD! I AM A HORRENDOUS COOK =[ If I cook for friends, atleast 3 of them will complain
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Rumckle on March 07, 2010, 12:14:36 AM
That doesn't look too burnt, just scrape the surface a bit and throw some vegemite on it. You can't taste whether the toast is burnt or not when you put vegemite on it.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 07, 2010, 12:50:45 AM
I only like my veg when toast is around light-medium (then possibly leave it wrapped in aluminium - dw I'm weird like that, I just think it tastes better after its been wrapped in alunimium for around 5 ~ 10 minutes xD)

Mum used to do it when I was younger :D
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Requia ☣ on March 07, 2010, 01:23:04 AM
don't you have toasters that pop the toast up when its done in Oz?
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Rumckle on March 07, 2010, 02:05:24 AM
Nope, we only got toasters 8 months ago.

In fact, I'm jealous of NP, I'm still cooking my toast over a fire in my living room.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 07, 2010, 02:48:40 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on March 07, 2010, 02:05:24 AM
Nope, we only got toasters 8 months ago.

In fact, I'm jealous of NP, I'm still cooking my toast over a fire in my living room.
You Australians have all the luck...
Fire. A living room. Living in New Zealand I have to toast bread by rubbing it between my hands and heating it with friction.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 07, 2010, 10:38:46 AM
Hey! Ned Kelly invented Fire don't go dissing your privledges NZ!  :argh!:
We can easily take it away!
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 07, 2010, 01:09:04 PM
Quote from: Paesior on March 07, 2010, 02:48:40 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on March 07, 2010, 02:05:24 AM
Nope, we only got toasters 8 months ago.

In fact, I'm jealous of NP, I'm still cooking my toast over a fire in my living room.
You Australians have all the luck...
Fire. A living room. Living in New Zealand I have to toast bread by rubbing it between my hands and heating it with friction.

Pah!! You bunch of spoiled brats have friction???

We Belgians have too much eel pr0n to have friction. We have to coat a parabolic gloryhole with the shine of unspeakable gloop and hold the bread in the focal point. Not to toast even, just to stop it from being a dank floppy spunge before our elderly try to mate with it.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Kai on March 07, 2010, 01:50:08 PM
 :lulz:

Oh you silly aw-seas.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 11, 2010, 02:04:54 AM
I love teh vegimite.
It kicks Marmite's arse. Mek it with cheese and seeded loaf in toasted sandwich maker and I'm all toast:1fap:

And I'm a Brit!

Aussie born ex of my best male friend introduced me to it. I'm so lucky it is stocked nearby.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Rumckle on March 11, 2010, 11:38:02 AM
It also goes well with tomato.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: bob-o on March 11, 2010, 04:27:31 PM
rye toast with butter = WIN

open-top toasters = FAIL

BOB-O
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 11, 2010, 07:42:08 PM
A dab of marmite in tea is nice.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 11, 2010, 07:44:04 PM
:vom:
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on March 11, 2010, 08:23:53 PM
I'm sorry it is still beyond me that a person with thumbs who is capable of posting on an internet forum is not capable of using a simple lever toaster.

It's either complete laziness or being spoiled beyond belief.  Either one is sad. 
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 11, 2010, 08:36:31 PM
 :lulz:
Hmm maybe a bit of A or a bit of B or a bit of C? Ionno, decide for yourself.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 11, 2010, 09:16:11 PM
Quote from: Rumckle on March 11, 2010, 11:38:02 AM
It also goes well with tomato.

oh shit that is one of the best things ever!

Gonna make some now ...
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 11, 2010, 11:19:36 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on March 11, 2010, 02:04:54 AM
I love teh vegimite.
It kicks Marmite's arse. Mek it with cheese and seeded loaf in toasted sandwich maker and I'm all toast:1fap:

And I'm a Brit!

Aussie born ex of my best male friend introduced me to it. I'm so lucky it is stocked nearby.

I still gotta find vegemite somewhere in order to compare it with marmite. I love marmite. On toast with butter and young gouda cheese yumyumyumyum :D
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: MMIX on March 12, 2010, 05:36:47 PM
I love Marmite but it hates me - mouth burny ungoodness :cry:
so my toast goes au naturel - sans

(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a289/goblinhill/Lovers-Marmite.jpg)
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 12, 2010, 06:03:50 PM
Trip I may have to bring you a jar of vegemite to DoD then. If you remind me that is.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 12, 2010, 08:10:28 PM
Okay! Are we settled on the weekend of the 12th btw? Turns out that my mum and dad have booked a trip for just the two of them for my dad's 60th birthday so I am not required to be there.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 12, 2010, 09:58:18 PM
I shall have more of an idea of the plan when I see Payne next week.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 13, 2010, 09:18:45 PM
Ok.

On the subject of "black foodstuffs a lot of people really don't like", I will bring the Netherlands favourite candy! Liqorice!
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 09:25:28 PM
ugh ugh ugh gtfo.

I like the non-Black liqorice, I've tried like Apple nad Raspberry they aint too bad .. otherwise, the 'dark pigmented one' tastes like rubbing alcohol I use on my step-dad  :|
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 13, 2010, 10:00:20 PM
rubbing alcohol?

i don't think that's licquorice.

neither are apple or raspberry liqorice? how can you add apple or raspberry to liqorice, the flavours would get overwhelmed.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:05:27 PM
They have vendors at the markets - tons of flavours. Or maybe its a different thing? But when you want a sugar fix these aren't too bad to go with. I haven't had any for ages

http://www.candy4u.com/greenaplictw.html
http://www.candy4u.com/swedishfish.html
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: MMIX on March 13, 2010, 10:21:42 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:05:27 PM
They have vendors at the markets - tons of flavours. Or maybe its a different thing? But when you want a sugar fix these aren't too bad to go with. I haven't had any for ages

http://www.candy4u.com/greenaplictw.html
http://www.candy4u.com/swedishfish.html

I like the Jerry Garcia Not everyone likes licorice quote on the second one - but thats not really proper liquorice.

"tons of flavours" but apparently not liquorice flavour  :sad:

http://5z8.info/freeporn_l1i4x_asian-brides  has some tasty looking stunners
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:27:39 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I just clicked on the link without reading what it was .. what a funny url

I didn't know liquorice was grown? I wonder what it tastes like though (The uncandi-fied one) .. strange.

They have some nice looking ones ... better stop while im ahead hahahaha
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: MMIX on March 13, 2010, 10:38:49 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:27:39 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I just clicked on the link without reading what it was .. what a funny url

I didn't know liquorice was grown? I wonder what it tastes like though (The uncandi-fied one) .. strange.

They have some nice looking ones ... better stop while im ahead hahahaha

Liquorice root is sort of milder than stick or tablet, and it lasts for ages because it is really fibrous. I used to get it from the local chemist when I was a kid and its obviously still available. So is Dutch Salted liquorice. I am sooo tempted to try that.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: MMIX on March 13, 2010, 10:42:43 PM
Oh and shadyurl ftw - taps side of nose and winks - think it was 000 who posted that.

This was the original url, more like a novella really

http://www.shadyurl.com/create.php?myUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Fimgres%3Fimgurl%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.oldestsweetshop.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fsweets%2FLiquorice-Root-Sticks.jpg%26imgrefurl%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.oldestsweetshop.co.uk%2Fsweets.asp%253Fsecid%253D17%2526swtid%253D158%26usg%3D__wfr2Li2_QeEiaDnyVbmozEHfC7w%3D%26h%3D188%26w%3D250%26sz%3D12%26hl%3Den%26start%3D10%26um%3D1%26itbs%3D1%26tbnid%3D4mlGyqRKqlursM%3A%26tbnh%3D83%26tbnw%3D111%26prev%3D%2Fimages%253Fq%253Dliquorice%252Broot%2526um%253D1%2526hl%253Den%2526cr%253DcountryUK%25257CcountryGB%2526sa%253DN%2526rlz%253D1G1GGLQ_ENUK319%2526tbs%253Disch%3A1
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:50:12 PM
oh that is soo cool!

QuoteLiquorice root is sort of milder than stick or tablet, and it lasts for ages because it is really fibrous. I used to get it from the local chemist when I was a kid and its obviously still available. So is Dutch Salted liquorice. I am sooo tempted to try that.

It sounds like the root is something worth trying out!

I used to have a massive sweet tooth in the past, but now when I look at anything candy related, I just don't find it tasty anymore and it kinda makes me feel ill :( I suppose thats both good and bad  :lulz:
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: MMIX on March 13, 2010, 11:01:17 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on March 13, 2010, 10:50:12 PM
oh that is soo cool!

QuoteLiquorice root is sort of milder than stick or tablet, and it lasts for ages because it is really fibrous. I used to get it from the local chemist when I was a kid and its obviously still available. So is Dutch Salted liquorice. I am sooo tempted to try that.

It sounds like the root is something worth trying out!

I used to have a massive sweet tooth in the past, but now when I look at anything candy related, I just don't find it tasty anymore and it kinda makes me feel ill :( I suppose thats both good and bad  :lulz:

Sounds lucky to me, not seeing any bad there, no temptation and an inherent preventative. Thats win:win in my book.
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 14, 2010, 02:09:51 PM
Licorice is :vom:
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Triple Zero on March 14, 2010, 03:42:59 PM
Nononono it is TEH YUM and OM NOM as well as NOM

How about if we dump half a kilo with a bunch of pepper corns into a liter of vodka and make SALMIAKKI? :D :D better?
Title: Re: ITT : WE MAKE TOAST AUSSIE STYLE
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 15, 2010, 01:10:16 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 14, 2010, 03:42:59 PM
Nononono it is TEH YUM and OM NOM as well as NOM

How about if we dump half a kilo with a bunch of pepper corns into a liter of vodka and make SALMIAKKI? :D :D better?

vodka bad. licorice bad.

give me whiskey.