http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sons_of_Tucson
Yup. "Sons of Tucson"
"What is this shit?", I asked myself. "Can all the high weirdness of the high desert be captured and displayed to the rest of the USA?"
"Will the TV catpure anny of the antics those folks really get up to?"
HELL NO.
There are things no network will ever tell them, especially Fox. (Fox, point in fact, will deliver the weather with a SMILE while refusing to acknowledge the canibal horserapist hordes that people might actually NEED to know about.) I won't say it's a biblical sign, or anythign so gradoise or alarmist. It's liek a cyst, an abscess, a pimple, pushed to the surface in a funny lookin' package for all to see. Catharsis for the guilt of what we are sliding into. (These folks would express a sac, and nt realize it's their soul, keep the white man's medicine away from me.) America has seen the churning festering WEIRD, and have descided to try to package it up with "safe" humor, as if to make it a vaccine.
"Oh that wacky corner of Arizona.", the salary dads and soccer moms will be able to smile, and go back to complaining about how a house 2 miles away might have lead paint. If they really knew what was going on, if they knew half of your stories, they'd fall on their shite picket fences. Their blood would paint barber poles down the immaculate plastic. Their last thoughts would blissfully dwell on how GREEN their lawn is, trying to think on the sanity obliterating, world eating perverts out there.
Are we ready to see that? Traumatized suburbanites overhand slamming their babes onto the lance points of their iconic, yet impotent hedge against all the land that isn't their's? Dying in droves to spare themselves the "IF" of the perverts riding in? Maybe they wouldn't be so hasty, maybe they'll just cower. Maybe some will remember what REAL problems are like, and realize their stocks, jobs, and incentives are REALLY small things. Someone should tell them beforehand, you're the Good Guys.
You're note like the others, you wouldn't hurt them. Unless they got out of line. Or it looked fun.
Dok won't make their trains run on time (Oh wait, mass transit is for the proles, not them.), but he will keep every poorly trained dog in their yards.
Richter, the problem with Tucson is that the good times sometimes stick to your shoes.
So, will this show even be FILMED in Tucson? Nope. California. I mean, it sure is fun to make a movie about filthy greasy Tucson fun, but fuck if they're gonna get any of it on them, right? Worse than a cappaccino stain.
I don't need to see this movie. What I NEED is a nice, quiet weekend without Maria and Nurse Mayhem getting all fucked up and dragging me out to horrible pervert bars and...
Who am I kidding?
LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL, SIR. LET THEM ROLL RIGHT OVER THE UNWORTHY.
:lulz: Nice on, Dok, blaming Nurse M and MARIA for that... :lulz:
I wonder if they'll at least film SOME of it on location?
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
I dream about this too. A day or three where everything fucks off, and I can work on a project or 5 in PEACE. These days I am a working man, and I need time in which to work.
Something always seems to come up though. People drop by, we get dragged out to games or bars, someone calls in for assistance, or we just decide to SLEEP for once. Then I think back on the years I commuted for 3 hours out of my day. I have a LIFE now, people jsut down the road who are worth hanging out with. Damned if I'm going to take that for granted. I have fencing( the fools handed me a whip), dinner with metal casting, and a day full of fighting to round out my week.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 02:40:34 PM
I dream about this too. A day or three where everything fucks off, and I can work on a project or 5 in PEACE. These days I am a working man, and I need time in which to work.
Something always seems to come up though. People drop by, we get dragged out to games or bars, someone calls in for assistance, or we just decide to SLEEP for once. Then I think back on the years I commuted for 3 hours out of my day. I have a LIFE now, people jsut down the road who are worth hanging out with. Damned if I'm going to take that for granted. I have fencing( the fools handed me a whip), dinner with metal casting, and a day full of fighting to round out my week.
I have rage and hate and a tank full of gas. That, and coffee night, which has now become more like "how can we try to get killed this week". I also have king-hell insomnia, and 3 different songs blasting in my head.
Thank God the mania is back, though. I don't know if I could handle today in a low cycle.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
Oddly enough, that's the single most promising thing I've heard about the place yet.
Quote from: LMNO on March 10, 2010, 07:48:11 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
Oddly enough, that's the single most promising thing I've heard about the place yet.
Guys can be 100% straight in Tucson. It's the women that aren't allowed to be completely heterosexual.
Yes, that includes your mom. And your Gram.
You may now go bleach your brain.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:32:03 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 02:40:34 PM
I dream about this too. A day or three where everything fucks off, and I can work on a project or 5 in PEACE. These days I am a working man, and I need time in which to work.
Something always seems to come up though. People drop by, we get dragged out to games or bars, someone calls in for assistance, or we just decide to SLEEP for once. Then I think back on the years I commuted for 3 hours out of my day. I have a LIFE now, people jsut down the road who are worth hanging out with. Damned if I'm going to take that for granted. I have fencing( the fools handed me a whip), dinner with metal casting, and a day full of fighting to round out my week.
I have rage and hate and a tank full of gas. That, and coffee night, which has now become more like "how can we try to get killed this week". I also have king-hell insomnia, and 3 different songs blasting in my head.
Thank God the mania is back, though. I don't know if I could handle today in a low cycle.
Some days there's no choice but to keep locked in any forward gear available and ride it out.
It's a fucker, when you know academically HOW you could get your head readjusted, but don't see the point in doing it.
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 07:49:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:32:03 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 02:40:34 PM
I dream about this too. A day or three where everything fucks off, and I can work on a project or 5 in PEACE. These days I am a working man, and I need time in which to work.
Something always seems to come up though. People drop by, we get dragged out to games or bars, someone calls in for assistance, or we just decide to SLEEP for once. Then I think back on the years I commuted for 3 hours out of my day. I have a LIFE now, people jsut down the road who are worth hanging out with. Damned if I'm going to take that for granted. I have fencing( the fools handed me a whip), dinner with metal casting, and a day full of fighting to round out my week.
I have rage and hate and a tank full of gas. That, and coffee night, which has now become more like "how can we try to get killed this week". I also have king-hell insomnia, and 3 different songs blasting in my head.
Thank God the mania is back, though. I don't know if I could handle today in a low cycle.
Some days there's no choice but to keep locked in any forward gear available and ride it out.
It's a fucker, when you know academically HOW you could get your head readjusted, but don't see the point in doing it.
I just gotta hold out for the weekend, Richter. If I can keep my shit together til then, everything will be fine.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 07:49:21 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 10, 2010, 07:48:11 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
Oddly enough, that's the single most promising thing I've heard about the place yet.
Guys can be 100% straight in Tucson. It's the women that aren't allowed to be completely heterosexual.
Yeah, but how often does THAT happen?
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:55:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 07:49:21 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 10, 2010, 07:48:11 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
Oddly enough, that's the single most promising thing I've heard about the place yet.
Guys can be 100% straight in Tucson. It's the women that aren't allowed to be completely heterosexual.
Yeah, but how often does THAT happen?
Once.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 07:51:34 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 07:49:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:32:03 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 02:40:34 PM
I dream about this too. A day or three where everything fucks off, and I can work on a project or 5 in PEACE. These days I am a working man, and I need time in which to work.
Something always seems to come up though. People drop by, we get dragged out to games or bars, someone calls in for assistance, or we just decide to SLEEP for once. Then I think back on the years I commuted for 3 hours out of my day. I have a LIFE now, people jsut down the road who are worth hanging out with. Damned if I'm going to take that for granted. I have fencing( the fools handed me a whip), dinner with metal casting, and a day full of fighting to round out my week.
I have rage and hate and a tank full of gas. That, and coffee night, which has now become more like "how can we try to get killed this week". I also have king-hell insomnia, and 3 different songs blasting in my head.
Thank God the mania is back, though. I don't know if I could handle today in a low cycle.
Some days there's no choice but to keep locked in any forward gear available and ride it out.
It's a fucker, when you know academically HOW you could get your head readjusted, but don't see the point in doing it.
I just gotta hold out for the weekend, Richter. If I can keep my shit together til then, everything will be fine.
Fuck the weekend. traitorous fucking Friday has never shown up when I needed it. Weekly judas rimlicke would gamlbe for the foul skivvies in my basket if I let it.
What's keeping me moving is possibility of a joyous scream down the highway, perchance to meet the gods, a motherfucker of a sriacha curry, a batch of brownies, and some time to get something DONE. I may even stop off on the way for metal snips and 2x4, and will mutter constantly and "Circumcising that elephant motherfucker" on my way through the store. Sure, I'll be sacrificing 2 points of sanity, and taking a -2 to appearance, but it'll gain me a lot more back if I keep it up for 2+ rounds. Even if it takes a token of self destruction to get going, nothing will stop me from having teh Fun
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 07:55:57 PM
Once.
And I think that story is a bunch of bull. It ended in "And they lived happily ever after!" Its a myth.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 08:03:37 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 07:55:57 PM
Once.
And I think that story is a bunch of bull. It ended in "And they lived happily ever after!" Its a myth.
Totally straight men in Tucson:Dok Howl
Hat
Almost straight men in Tucson:
Kaz (Isn't into guys, but Yiff automatically prevents you from being straight.)
Mayor Walkup (Straight republican = Gayer than K.D. Lang's mullet.)
That's it.
Completely straight women in Tucson:That's it.
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 07:59:56 PM
Fuck the weekend. traitorous fucking Friday has never shown up when I needed it. Weekly judas rimlicke would gamlbe for the foul skivvies in my basket if I let it.
What's keeping me moving is possibility of a joyous scream down the highway, perchance to meet the gods, a motherfucker of a sriacha curry, a batch of brownies, and some time to get something DONE. I may even stop off on the way for metal snips and 2x4, and will mutter constantly and "Circumcising that elephant motherfucker" on my way through the store. Sure, I'll be sacrificing 2 points of sanity, and taking a -2 to appearance, but it'll gain me a lot more back if I keep it up for 2+ rounds. Even if it takes a token of self destruction to get going, nothing will stop me from having teh Fun
Weekends have always been good to me, Richter. I am a big fan of Saturday night. Friday's not too bad either, when coffee night is decent (IE, Either John the Bastard doesn't show up, or if I get to beat on him.). It's what keeps me going.
Papa Hemmingway understood that shit, and even went so far as to say the weekend should be extended by a few days...But that's bad for productivity, so he "killed himself" (You and I both know that isn't true, though, don't we?)...and he was right about lots of shit, with the glaring exception of the horrible lies he told in
The Old Man and the Sea.
When I first saw the preview for this I stared at the tv and a tear slid down my face. It wasn't a tear of sadness...but rather because the rage had pent up enough into my skull that I wanted to send anthrax to the people in charge of creating this abomination (Or something much worse that involves my boot and their ass.) They will never capture Tucson because they cannot show that a good portion of those soccer moms are alcoholics, or pill heads, and the husbands of those soccer moms sit in their studies or home offices just toying with a loaded pistol thinking of a life they could have had. No, they can't show that tweaker that lives in a run down nasty house that the yard's been overtaken by weeds and crab grass. They can't show you all the filth that is Tucson. Instead they think that these kooky characters thrown into a scene with cactus in the background and a backdrop of A mountain will capture what Tucson is, or at least fool outsiders enough to make them think that Tucson is just great. I seriously want to kick someone's teeth down their throat for this atrocity being aired.... They will get it all wrong...
Quote from: Nurse Mayhem on March 10, 2010, 09:12:00 PM
When I first saw the preview for this I stared at the tv and a tear slid down my face. It wasn't a tear of sadness...but rather because the rage had pent up enough into my skull that I wanted to send anthrax to the people in charge of creating this abomination (Or something much worse that involves my boot and their ass.) They will never capture Tucson because they cannot show that a good portion of those soccer moms are alcoholics, or pill heads, and the husbands of those soccer moms sit in their studies or home offices just toying with a loaded pistol thinking of a life they could have had. No, they can't show that tweaker that lives in a run down nasty house that the yard's been overtaken by weeds and crab grass. They can't show you all the filth that is Tucson. Instead they think that these kooky characters thrown into a scene with cactus in the background and a backdrop of A mountain will capture what Tucson is, or at least fool outsiders enough to make them think that Tucson is just great. I seriously want to kick someone's teeth down their throat for this atrocity being aired.... They will get it all wrong...
1. I need to improve your boots. Arrows down, with YOUR ASS HERE stenciled above.
2. They can't show the real Tucson on TV. And even if they could, would they? Would you?
Breaking Bad has already been done, and the rest is just a slow slide of failure and wrong. The sponsors would not be happy.
If they wanted to do a Lifetime™-esque movie like this, they should have set it in Santa Fe.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 09:15:23 PM
Quote from: Nurse Mayhem on March 10, 2010, 09:12:00 PM
When I first saw the preview for this I stared at the tv and a tear slid down my face. It wasn't a tear of sadness...but rather because the rage had pent up enough into my skull that I wanted to send anthrax to the people in charge of creating this abomination (Or something much worse that involves my boot and their ass.) They will never capture Tucson because they cannot show that a good portion of those soccer moms are alcoholics, or pill heads, and the husbands of those soccer moms sit in their studies or home offices just toying with a loaded pistol thinking of a life they could have had. No, they can't show that tweaker that lives in a run down nasty house that the yard's been overtaken by weeds and crab grass. They can't show you all the filth that is Tucson. Instead they think that these kooky characters thrown into a scene with cactus in the background and a backdrop of A mountain will capture what Tucson is, or at least fool outsiders enough to make them think that Tucson is just great. I seriously want to kick someone's teeth down their throat for this atrocity being aired.... They will get it all wrong...
1. I need to improve your boots. Arrows down, with YOUR ASS HERE stenciled above.
2. They can't show the real Tucson on TV. And even if they could, would they? Would you? Breaking Bad has already been done, and the rest is just a slow slide of failure and wrong. The sponsors would not be happy.
If they wanted to do a Lifetime™-esque movie like this, they should have set it in Santa Fe.
1. I want clicks on the heels of my boots. As well as the above mentioned.
2. I would cry myself to sleep if everyone else knew the horrors of this city as well as the people living here. People think that they know something about a city when they see it on tv. Well maybe it will bring tourism here.. but shitty thing is we don't have any tourist traps..
3. Tucson is too entertaining to be on Lifetime.
Quote from: Nurse Mayhem on March 10, 2010, 09:20:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 09:15:23 PM
Quote from: Nurse Mayhem on March 10, 2010, 09:12:00 PM
When I first saw the preview for this I stared at the tv and a tear slid down my face. It wasn't a tear of sadness...but rather because the rage had pent up enough into my skull that I wanted to send anthrax to the people in charge of creating this abomination (Or something much worse that involves my boot and their ass.) They will never capture Tucson because they cannot show that a good portion of those soccer moms are alcoholics, or pill heads, and the husbands of those soccer moms sit in their studies or home offices just toying with a loaded pistol thinking of a life they could have had. No, they can't show that tweaker that lives in a run down nasty house that the yard's been overtaken by weeds and crab grass. They can't show you all the filth that is Tucson. Instead they think that these kooky characters thrown into a scene with cactus in the background and a backdrop of A mountain will capture what Tucson is, or at least fool outsiders enough to make them think that Tucson is just great. I seriously want to kick someone's teeth down their throat for this atrocity being aired.... They will get it all wrong...
1. I need to improve your boots. Arrows down, with YOUR ASS HERE stenciled above.
2. They can't show the real Tucson on TV. And even if they could, would they? Would you? Breaking Bad has already been done, and the rest is just a slow slide of failure and wrong. The sponsors would not be happy.
If they wanted to do a Lifetime™-esque movie like this, they should have set it in Santa Fe.
1. I want clicks on the heels of my boots. As well as the above mentioned.
2. I would cry myself to sleep if everyone else knew the horrors of this city as well as the people living here. People think that they know something about a city when they see it on tv. Well maybe it will bring tourism here.. but shitty thing is we don't have any tourist traps..
3. Tucson is too entertaining to be on Lifetime.
1. Also, kick plates in front. Maybe some spiky bits.
2. Old Tucson, the wildlife museum, The Mission, etc. There's plenty of things for tourists, that do very well. However, I'd like to set up a tour company that hits 12th Ave, Drachman and 11th ave, etc. Ho ho!
3. Yeah, but it has all the horrible fucking tragedy those emo bastards could stand. We're chock full of tales of human woe...They'll have to add the "heartlifting" stoic shit and eventual redemption, though. We don't have any of that.
It is sad Nurse, it is Sad. They're trying to reduce something terrible to something palatable.
If this were an allegory, they wouldn't be launching a happless wacky (but harmless) fuck from a cactus, they'd be feeding him the cactus. He would then heave feathers shoved up his butt and be turned loose in a desert stretch full of remote control flashbangs and fire snakes.
5 points for a 1st light burn
5 points for insect stings / bites
10 points for a more serious burn
15 for laceration
25 if it all sics a wild animal on him, necessitating shooting.
Score nullified if subject dies.
Like Pinball.
That's the Tucson in my mind, Nurse. Truth aside, it makes me laugh.
Quote from: Richter on March 10, 2010, 09:26:23 PM
It is sad Nurse, it is Sad. They're trying to reduce something terrible to something palatable.
Trying to pull our fangs, is what it is. This can't be tolerated.
Richter, don't forget the branding.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on March 10, 2010, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 10, 2010, 04:28:06 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 10, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Sitcoms are usually full of fail, IMO. I will not watch them, because I always feel my brain rot and implode under the weight of what the masses seem to think is "funny". I guarantee that this will be the same, and you know what? I'm willing to bet that it won't even have the slightest hint of what kind of fun we get up to out here.
So unless Ron has a preference for snuff porn, Robby and Gary smoke pot and can't hold down a job, Brandon works a dead end job and is 33 dating a 19 year old, and Angela is a stripper who likes being branded, there is no possible way that they could show what Tucson is REALLY for reals like.
Gary also has a tapeworm named Sally.
Not to mention everyone being bisexual, at least.
I am becoming seriously tempted to actually write a story featuring these characters.
You know, this show isn't nearly as bad as I was predicting. It isn't Tucson, no, no show could ever really portray Tucson. But it's Tucson if you could shove it into a washing machine; it still has the "WTF?" bits, just very much cleaned up.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on April 24, 2010, 03:53:47 AM
You know, this show isn't nearly as bad as I was predicting. It isn't Tucson, no, no show could ever really portray Tucson. But it's Tucson if you could shove it into a washing machine; it still has the "WTF?" bits, just very much cleaned up.
So, Portland.
Desert Portland
(new name of the show)