Principia Discordia

"He who marches joyously in rank and file has already earned my contempt"
Albert Einstein

"The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits."
Unknown

I see them all around me, people who cannot connect A to C unless someone bashes B into their thick-boned skulls. Over my left shoulder sits a man, who obviously has some kind of qualification to be at university, can probably figure out which way round to sit on a toilet, and yet he is stumped by a dialog box on a computer with only one button on it.
(http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v219/Trollax/buttons2.gif)

Now, does anyone know what you do with it? hmmn... whatever could one do. Do I click OK or not? obviously my access has been denied to something... (probably my brain,) and now a great detriment to the contents of my memory I must figure out what to do...
Look, it doesn't take much to work out that if you drive your car by using the steering wheel that you would drive an SUV by moving the steering wheel right? if your home PC operates windows XP and the computer in the comp lab operates windows XP, then the error messages are the same kind of thing, the computer isn't going to deliver 10,000 volts to your crotch via the gas-operated chair if you do the wrong thing (although that would discourage idiots I'm sure)...

Why are we so scared to draw inferences? To hypothesize and test our limits and theories is human nature; it's something we all do during our lifetimes: although, some of us appear to stop once we reach 4 years old. I couldn't contain myself watching this thuddite sweat. I just burst out laughing and had to bash my head on the desk. I dunno, I guess I find the idea of a brain surgeon who can't change the tyre on his car one of the funniest notions in the world. Surely yes, there are going to be absent-minded professor types all over the placec, but I doubt that they would comprise the overwhelming majority of the population who are allowed to drive automobiles but still can't work out how to press play on their VCR...

When you were a child, do you ever remember playing with the mirror? Trying to work out how to travel through it? Or trying to fly like superman and winding yourself after jumping off the couch? Playing drums with pots and pans (my favourite passtime)? By some miracle, with no knowledge whatsoever, with nobody telling you why and how, you would, more or less, work things out on your own. These days, we have fully-grown adults who only work out that their microwave has a temperature function when their six year old wants to have his army men acheive "perfect consistency" on the battlefield. It's quite easy to teach an old dog new tricks, sure, you don't form any new neural conections once you pass 21 years old, but that doesn't mean you stop learning, that doesn't mean it gets any harder. Given the proper attitude and environment you can teach a mummified dog new tricks so what's your excuse?

CLICK FRIGGING OK BEFORE I EAT YOUR HEAD!

Or did you just sit down in front of the electronic babysitter and spend all your IQ points on wheel of fortune?

Trollax! Breathe! And again.

All that worrying about stupid people will give you stomach ulcers.

Quote from: Guido FinucciTrollax! Breathe! And again.

All that worrying about stupid people will give you stomach ulcers.

way ahead of you there, my entire midsection has just one gigantic spongey organ that replaces the functions off all of the others... no mess, no fuss...

no one thinks the jolt of 10000 volts of electricity to the croth will ever happenn to them, but you just wait man, keep pressing ok buttons on single buttoon dialogs wontonly and you'll get your i tell ya.

Quote from: Secret Chief Horabno one thinks the jolt of 10000 volts of electricity to the croth will ever happenn to them, but you just wait man, keep pressing ok buttons on single buttoon dialogs wontonly and you'll get your i tell ya.

Your crotch can be kept reasonably well protected from excessive voltage
by taking a few simple precautions.

First, before sitting down, inspect the chair carefully.  Are there any
unusual wires leading into it from the computer or the power mains?  Does
it hum with suppressed electricity?  Is the fuzz on the upholstry straining
as far away from the chair as it can get, even though the chair is covered
in patent leather?  Are there any new cushions on it?  Suspicious-looking
stains?  Abnormal lumps?  Be sure to inspect the underside for unexpected
large capacitors hanging off of it.

Next, check the surroundings.  Even if the chair itself is safe, it is
possible for a malicious systems administrator or disgruntled lavatory
sanitation engineer to rig subtle traps that do not directly affect the
chair.  For example, is the ceiling made of asbestos panels that could be
easily lifted aside by a robotic arm preparatory to the dropping of a live
high-voltage lead in the direction of your crotch?  Has the building
management taken proper steps to ensure that unauthorized personell and/or
robots do not have access to the intra-ceiling crawlspaces?  What about
air ducts, for that matter?  A small quantity of C4 explosive placed
inside the duct can blow a sufficiently large hole in the duct to permit
a small rocket trailing a wire to be fired at your crotch.  The floor is
also a risk - in several establishments, "basements", "ground floors", and
"17th-floor condominiums" may be located under the floor, potentially
permitting one of the debased and degraded life-forms living thereunder
to slip an electrically charged blade through the carpet and into your
chair.  And these are, of course, only examples.  Other risks may exist
(high-voltage lines attached to small rocks thrown by slings from
neighbouring cubicals, for example.); you will have to carefully evaluate
your office space.

When you are finished evaluating the risk of mechanically-aided electric
shock, you might presuppose that it was safe to sit down.  You would be
sadly mistaken, as D.P. of Wisconsin found out when she sat down in a major
educational institution's computer lab to finish her night's paper on
"effects of audio stimuli on mutation rates: a comparison of The Sounds and
Wumpscut on Drosophila Melanogaster Domesticus".  Unbeknownst to her, the
lab maintained a sprinkler system for fire protection.  When she lit up
a Camel to prepare herself for dealing with Microsoft(R) Windows(R) XP(R),
an unknown hacker utilized the departmental accounting server to activate
the fire-protection system, flooding the laboratory with large quantities
of pressurized water.  The conductive fluid created a path permitting the
high-voltage discharges from Professor H's EE class (which was playing with
a large Tesla coil at the time) to travel through the carpet and into her
crotch, triggering temporary hysterical paralysis and an incurable abnormal
attraction towards toaster ovens.

Did you know that foreign bacteria outnumber our cells 10 to 1 inside our bodies ? When you look at stupid people, think about what you're really staring at.

The thought helps with bearing the pain through, too. Could also explain why stupidity can be contagious, but then, why does IQ gets exponentially lower with the number of stupid people in the group ?

Nevermind that post, my symbiote made me do it, again.

Also I like to think of all that stupidity around and through me as refreshing. Really ! When you delve into that game deep enough, you can even start to appreciate being stupid. Or maybe that's a side-effect of oxygen-starvation, who knows.

And the funny looks you get are priceless.

everyone is stupid. i'm stupid. you're stupid.


throw some def beats on and let's all get stoopid yo!

i reallly hate drosphilia melanogasters. GOD DAMN TRANSGENIC FLIES GOT ME A B ON THE BIO FINAL.