Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Cain on April 02, 2010, 03:37:26 PM

Title: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Cain on April 02, 2010, 03:37:26 PM
http://washingtonscene.thehill.com/in-the-know/36-news/3169-rep-hank-johnson-guam-could-tip-over-and-capsize

This seems a curiously specific concern:

QuoteRep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) is afraid that the U.S. Territory of Guam is going to "tip over and capsize" due to overpopulation.

Johnson expressed his worries during a House Armed Services Committee hearing on the defense budget Thursday.

Addressing Adm. Robert Willard, who commands the Navy's Pacific Fleet, Johnson made a tippy motion with his hands and said sternly, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize."

Willard paused and said: "We don't anticipate that."

Like other islands, Guam is attached to the sea floor, which makes it extremely unlikely that it will tip over, even if there are lots and lots of people on it. Guam is 30 miles long and up to 9 miles wide in certain spots, with a population of 175,000 civilians. The military is proposing the addition of 8,000 U.S. servicemembers and their families.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 02, 2010, 03:59:06 PM
What, Dem politicians don't have enough fear of their political opponents so they have to make up new ones?

I think my IQ went down by 12 points right there.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Cain on April 02, 2010, 04:03:01 PM
Willard's response is priceless, though.  I don't even have to find a video to imagine the carefully guarded expression he had to put on while answering that.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 02, 2010, 04:23:44 PM
I love this decade.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Freeky on April 02, 2010, 05:30:35 PM
Looks like someone made sure to take their stupid pills.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Jasper on April 02, 2010, 05:47:40 PM
"We don't anticipate that" is now code for "you're a fucking moron".  :lulz:
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on April 02, 2010, 08:54:46 PM
What a great example of bad word choice and bad metaphor...
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Chairman Risus on April 02, 2010, 10:31:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 02, 2010, 04:03:01 PM
Willard's response is priceless, though.  I don't even have to find a video to imagine the carefully guarded expression he had to put on while answering that.

If anyone does need a video, however, here it is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1WSs9B4H5s).

The question occurs at 1:15
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Juana on April 02, 2010, 10:42:08 PM
Oh, jeez. I love the expression on his face. Very srs bznz.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 04, 2010, 02:40:10 AM
Maybe Johnson got Guam confused with Salazore.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: LMNO on April 05, 2010, 04:47:50 PM
on Facebook, someone used this to argue against public education being left to State's Rights; because apparently, this would be the level of education in Georgia.
Title: Re: Oh god, Guam might tip over and capsize!!1!!321!
Post by: hooplala on April 06, 2010, 10:40:53 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on April 04, 2010, 02:40:10 AM
Maybe Johnson got Guam confused with Salazore.

This.