Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 08:25:25 PM

Title: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 08:25:25 PM
Probably a previous tenant that may still have a key to my mailbox even though I asked the fucking Post Office to change it. Oh well, now it's time to take matters into my own hands.

Thoughts? I may just have all you spags who have my address send me a letter and I'll let you know if they come through or not.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Remington on April 07, 2010, 08:27:01 PM
Mail yourself a big envelope full of high-gloss Goatse from a local neighbourhood mailbox. Stamp it [Confidential] and let it wait in your inbox.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Cain on April 07, 2010, 08:31:01 PM
Maybe Herbert is just pissed he can't use keyloggers any more, and is doing it the old-fashioned way.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 08:36:23 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 07, 2010, 08:31:01 PM
Maybe Herbert is just pissed he can't use keyloggers any more, and is doing it the old-fashioned way.

He better not be. Though I have my mom waiting to see if the rent check she sent me is getting cashed. That's a good way to track down if someone is stealing. In this neighborhood, I wouldn't hold it against someone to try to forge a signature and a sign over.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2010, 08:38:00 PM
Dude, Suu. That sucks. I hope it's all just a misunderstanding, or at least someone you can easily track down and fuck with for fun and profit. :)
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 07, 2010, 08:39:51 PM
bake some brownies made with human feces. send them to yourself, along with a note inside the box telling you to "enjoy these pot brownies I made for you".
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2010, 08:40:50 PM
You, sir, are a bad man. :lol:
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 07, 2010, 08:42:29 PM
:thanks:
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 08:42:58 PM
Well, I am going to mail myself something that contains a nasty letter to the thief and a sprinkle of unscented talcum powder. But to have a few others write notes as well could be great. We could scare the shit out of this guy.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 07, 2010, 09:01:48 PM
I would have people start sending you death threats claiming to have inbedded tracking chips in the paper to find you!  :lulz:
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 09:14:35 PM
Okay, my letter is written. It reads:

"If you are the person stealing my mail, please stop.

The authorities have been notified as what you are doing is a Federal offense. You obviously have to have a mail key which means that you were a previous occupant of this address and easy to track down.

If you do not return my mail to me within 7 days of 4/8/2010, legal action will be taken.

You cannot cash checks that aren't in your name and have no need of an acceptance letter to the University of Rhode Island."
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 07, 2010, 10:21:50 PM
Quote from: Suu on April 07, 2010, 09:14:35 PM
Okay, my letter is written. It reads:

"If you are the person stealing my mail, please stop.

The authorities have been notified as what you are doing is a Federal offense. You obviously have to have a mail key which means that you were a previous occupant of this address and easy to track down.

If you do not return my mail to me within 7 days of 4/8/2010, legal action will be taken.

You cannot cash checks that aren't in your name and have no need of an acceptance letter to the University of Rhode Island."

The only thing I would add is that you will give them the antidote to the poison you soaked the paper in when they return your mail!!!  And less time to return.  48 hours!!!
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 07, 2010, 10:35:46 PM
That will come next. In the meantime, if anyone here has my address (and any of you who ordered shirts DO) please send me something!!!

For those that don't have my new address in Providence and want it. Message me.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on April 08, 2010, 01:14:07 AM
What idiot would want to steal someone's mail?  :lol:
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Suu on April 08, 2010, 01:15:20 AM
Quote from: ThatGreenGentleman on April 08, 2010, 01:14:07 AM
What idiot would want to steal someone's mail?  :lol:

You might be surprised.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: the last yatto on April 09, 2010, 08:59:52 AM
blah, your better off just breaking the lock so the post office is forced to change it
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 09, 2010, 02:47:22 PM


That's fucked up.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on April 09, 2010, 03:00:29 PM
I dunno, if you've moved recently the post office can get confused and stop sending you shit altogether.

When I moved in with my parents after my divorce, I suddenly stopped getting mail. And it didn't coincide with the move either, it was a few months later.

Apparently, the post office will just stop forwarding mail from your old address to your new address if you filled out one of their forms.

I'd say, check into it, but when I did no one knew what the shit was going on except that maybe it was due to a new mail carrier or maybe it was due to the form, they didn't know.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Richter on April 09, 2010, 03:16:02 PM
Dependign on the type of box, a few sterile hypodermics, creatively scuffed and boken, could be a fun addition.  This should not be done if it's the kind of box where the mailman comes in easy contact with the contents, though.
Title: Re: So I think somebody is stealing my mail...
Post by: Bruno on April 12, 2010, 06:12:15 AM
In my apartment, I can stick my hand all the way through my mailbox and touch the mail in the box above it.

So if yours is like that, there's another suspect.