Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Cain on April 12, 2010, 08:45:15 AM

Title: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cain on April 12, 2010, 08:45:15 AM
http://www.masonictao.com/2010/04/masons-reveal-zombie-preparedness-plan.html

QuoteThe purpose of this procedure is to discern appropriate strategies for responding to a zombie infestation that might affect the officers, members, and support staff of the Grand Lodge of Connecticut, A.F. & A.M., or its related appendant Masonic bodies. Methods for permanent expulsion are discussed.

Note
A number of resources are available on the subject of revenants, and it is not the purpose of this Grand Lodge to offer scientific explanations or theories as to the origin of what are popularly known as "zombies", nor to speculate upon the habits of those stricken with the syndrome. Rather, our intention is to concentrate on maintaining the ancient and traditional methods of eradicating zombies, should an outbreak or infestation occur.

While the media continue to treat the possibility of a zombie infestation with humor, the fact is that most organizations and local governmental agencies are quietly developing contingency plans to deal with potential outbreaks. The Grand Lodge of Connecticut encourages other Grand Lodges to use this procedure as a guideline in developing their own emergency preparedness plans.

No further comment required.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Triple Zero on April 12, 2010, 10:54:47 AM
:lulz:
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Richter on April 12, 2010, 11:46:14 AM
Does this make "Shoot em in the HEAD" a craft secret?

Masons trolling media = :lulz:
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: MMIX on April 12, 2010, 03:24:41 PM
I hate fucking zombies . . .







edit for humour frailure

Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cramulus on April 12, 2010, 04:30:07 PM
 :lulz: I've corresponded with this guy before

he is hip to us and our hip motion.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 12, 2010, 09:02:54 PM
 :lulz:

TTM,
considering becoming a Freemason now...
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Richter on April 12, 2010, 09:12:52 PM
The ones I know would be all about this.  Waiting to get their response to the article.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: LMNO on April 13, 2010, 02:53:27 PM
I keep meaning to join my local lodge.

A friend of mine is a Mason, and he says it's a lot of fun, and you get tons of connections.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 03:12:33 PM
two of my neighbors in my cul-de-sac are masons, they've invited me to join a couple times.
if i had more time, i would be onit...

someone told me once that politics and religion are verboten at a mason meeting though.  i'd prolly get kicked out.   :sad:

anyone know of any discordian infiltrations into a masonic lodge?
that would be sweet to take one over...
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Richter on April 13, 2010, 03:24:58 PM
Politics and Religion have a history of gettign people burned, tortured and nailed to things.
I support this policy of theirs.  It leaves sports as the only major roadblock to actually having something to say.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2010, 03:47:56 PM
You can join lodges where politics and religion are discussed, they just tend to be...dodgy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaganda_Due).
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: LMNO on April 13, 2010, 03:53:06 PM
 :lol: Well played, sir.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 13, 2010, 09:08:30 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 03:12:33 PM
two of my neighbors in my cul-de-sac are masons, they've invited me to join a couple times.
if i had more time, i would be onit...

someone told me once that politics and religion are verboten at a mason meeting though.  i'd prolly get kicked out.   :sad:

anyone know of any discordian infiltrations into a masonic lodge?
that would be sweet to take one over...

Masons aren't allowed to invite people, you just ask to join and someone sponsors you.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 09:46:46 PM
Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on April 13, 2010, 09:08:30 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 03:12:33 PM
two of my neighbors in my cul-de-sac are masons, they've invited me to join a couple times.
if i had more time, i would be onit...

someone told me once that politics and religion are verboten at a mason meeting though.  i'd prolly get kicked out.   :sad:

anyone know of any discordian infiltrations into a masonic lodge?
that would be sweet to take one over...

Masons aren't allowed to invite people, you just ask to join and someone sponsors you.

ok, then...
my neighbor said 'hey, you should come out with us some time.'

also, despite the claimed ban on religious discussion, i have heard that you must profess to 'believe in God'.  do you think it would give them heartburn if i told them yes, and that i also believe she is crazy?
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2010, 09:54:16 PM
They actually wont even ask you to expand on your beliefs, since that comes under the "discussing religion" thing.  So long as you believe in a Supreme Being (of some kind), you're good.  And even then, with enough theology under your belt, you can stretch that definition to near-breaking point (Deism, Pantheism etc).
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 09:59:47 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 13, 2010, 09:54:16 PM
They actually wont even ask you to expand on your beliefs, since that comes under the "discussing religion" thing.  So long as you believe in a Supreme Being (of some kind), you're good.  And even then, with enough theology under your belt, you can stretch that definition to near-breaking point (Deism, Pantheism etc).

Yeah, in considering joining, i wondered whether i would, in good faith, have to explain that i believe in God only in pantheistic terms....
i wonder if the way they word the questioning clearly indicates that it is as inclusive as that, because otherwise, i'm sure the fellow asking me would have a crucifix in his mind's eye, and i'd know it...
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cramulus on April 13, 2010, 10:01:07 PM
the guy in the OP told me that Eris is a totally legit answer for a supreme being. And that unless you're a mason in the south, it's unlikely that your beliefs will ever be discussed.

When I was a teenager I really did believe the masons were part of the illuminati, and that as a Discordian, it was my duty to do something about them.  :p
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2010, 10:10:32 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 09:59:47 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 13, 2010, 09:54:16 PM
They actually wont even ask you to expand on your beliefs, since that comes under the "discussing religion" thing.  So long as you believe in a Supreme Being (of some kind), you're good.  And even then, with enough theology under your belt, you can stretch that definition to near-breaking point (Deism, Pantheism etc).

Yeah, in considering joining, i wondered whether i would, in good faith, have to explain that i believe in God only in pantheistic terms....
i wonder if the way they word the questioning clearly indicates that it is as inclusive as that, because otherwise, i'm sure the fellow asking me would have a crucifix in his mind's eye, and i'd know it...

Yeah, its quite likely they'd be thinking of Christianity, but I just checked and apparently Hindus are OK (and I understand Brahman to be broadly pantheistic in conception) so your beliefs would also be allowed.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 10:36:56 PM
sweet.
i'll give it a shot sometime soon, if i can manage.
is anybody on the board a mason already?
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Cain on April 13, 2010, 10:58:59 PM
I keep considering it, my grandfather was a Mason, but I've never gotten around to it.  Half of the regulars at my pub are members of the nearest Temple though, I should perform the secret handshake sometime and freak them out.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Telarus on April 14, 2010, 12:06:31 AM
Quote from: Cain on April 13, 2010, 10:58:59 PM
I keep considering it, my grandfather was a Mason, but I've never gotten around to it.  Half of the regulars at my pub are members of the nearest Temple though, I should perform the secret handshake sometime and freak them out.

LOL!

From know a couple of Masons here in PDX, I understand that politics/religion is verboten in the main Hall, and at any official Lodge Meetings. What you and your brothers talk about @ the pub isn't really their concern (until it is).

And, apparently, the Lodge here in Portland has books that date back to the Knights Templar.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 14, 2010, 12:10:50 AM
my grandfather was a mason for a while too, but apparently it ended with some drama, which he never talks to anybody about, and will ignore questions regarding.  And this man holds his tongue on little.

i have got the impression that there is wide diversity among the characteristics of the various lodges, but i don't really have anything concrete to base this on.

i think it would be great fun to infiltrate one with discordians (of just about any stripe).
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Triple Zero on April 14, 2010, 03:02:23 PM
A few years ago, just before I joined PD, but I posted about it on POEE, a Masonic lodge in Utrecht had an "open day", I wasn't able to attend at the last moment, but a friend of mine did go and he told me they were 1) almost kind of recruiting, because they dont have a lot of young members anymore and 2) this Supreme Being was described as a big Watchmaker or Mechanic sort of entity, nothing special in particular, in hindsight I would even guess that Kai's (and partly, mine) views on Emergence as the driving force behind everything would count as good enough.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:10:09 PM
I do know that many Masonic lodges are indeed holding Open Recruitment days, due to declining membership.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 14, 2010, 03:12:31 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:10:09 PM
I do know that many Masonic lodges are indeed holding Open Recruitment days, due to declining membership.

They had a television ad called Ask a Freemason that played when I was in Amherst.  I'm not sure if it was a national thing, but if it was local then it would have been for the Connecticut area.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:14:18 PM
Actually, there's a lodge at 99 Main Street in Amherst.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Richter on April 14, 2010, 03:28:08 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 14, 2010, 03:02:23 PM
A few years ago, just before I joined PD, but I posted about it on POEE, a Masonic lodge in Utrecht had an "open day", I wasn't able to attend at the last moment, but a friend of mine did go and he told me they were 1) almost kind of recruiting, because they dont have a lot of young members anymore and 2) this Supreme Being was described as a big Watchmaker or Mechanic sort of entity, nothing special in particular, in hindsight I would even guess that Kai's (and partly, mine) views on Emergence as the driving force behind everything would count as good enough.

This is the same that I've heard from Masons I've spoken with IRL.  No specific nature, rationale, or purpose of said supreme being is defined or imposed, only "There is one".  (Is Deist the right term there?)
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 14, 2010, 03:41:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:14:18 PM
Actually, there's a lodge at 99 Main Street in Amherst.

Oh, yeah I know.  A friend of mine joined through them.  All our news and "local" stations were CT based for some reason.  Either that lodge put in an ad through CT or it was for a lodge actually based there.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 14, 2010, 09:19:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:10:09 PM
I do know that many Masonic lodges are indeed holding Open Recruitment days, due to declining membership.

doesn't this make them ripe for infiltration?
:evil:
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Template on April 14, 2010, 09:26:56 PM
http://www.make-digital.com/make/vol09/?folio=75#pg77
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 07:54:44 PM
(My father's a mason and has been since 1984. I've never wanted to join, but it is something I'm interested in and have had lots of discussion about with him.)

From what I can gather from US masons that I've talked to, the membership has been in decline for a while and so there's been attempts to attract new interest with more open events. More controversially, there's been 'mass initiations' in order to bump up the numbers of Master Masons to stem the decline. The British masonic contingent viewed this with the utmost horror.

It would seem that the average age of masonic lodges is pretty old, through, from what I've heard, there's been an upsurge in interest from young male occultists.


Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: LMNO on April 15, 2010, 08:05:15 PM
If I could find a way to make time for yet another night out of the house, I'd join up.



However, She What Gives Me Sex would be concerned that I'd voluntarily want to hang out with a bunch of old dudes in robes rather than spend time with her.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: the last yatto on April 15, 2010, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 10:36:56 PM
is anybody on the board a mason already?

most of my family is, was  waiting myself until I was 33 to formally enroll
as the first lodge you join kinda stays with you...
its like your home room if view a lodge as say a college

Quote from: Iptuous on April 14, 2010, 09:19:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:10:09 PM
I do know that many Masonic lodges are indeed holding Open Recruitment days, due to declining membership.
doesn't this make them ripe for infiltration?
:evil:

join the blue lodge tell them about the grey lodge or :?

if you want to sign up merely for trolling, id recommend knights of Columbus as most of their leadership is catholic
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 15, 2010, 08:25:42 PM
I get the impression that, even with the ban in place on talking about politics and religion, the infiltration of a lodge with, say, 5% discordians would significantly change the actions of the whole lodge.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 09:28:11 PM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 15, 2010, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 13, 2010, 10:36:56 PM
is anybody on the board a mason already?

most of my family is, was  waiting myself until I was 33 to formally enroll
as the first lodge you join kinda stays with you...
its like your home room if view a lodge as say a college

Quote from: Iptuous on April 14, 2010, 09:19:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 14, 2010, 03:10:09 PM
I do know that many Masonic lodges are indeed holding Open Recruitment days, due to declining membership.
doesn't this make them ripe for infiltration?
:evil:

join the blue lodge tell them about the grey lodge or :?

if you want to sign up merely for trolling, id recommend knights of Columbus as most of their leadership is catholic

Most of? I would suggest 'all of'. The Knights of Columbus was founded as an alternative so that Catholics wouldn't become masons.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 09:29:23 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on April 15, 2010, 08:25:42 PM
I get the impression that, even with the ban in place on talking about politics and religion, the infiltration of a lodge with, say, 5% discordians would significantly change the actions of the whole lodge.

Extremely unlikely.

Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: the last yatto on April 15, 2010, 09:37:51 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 09:28:11 PM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 15, 2010, 08:09:47 PM
if you want to sign up merely for trolling, id recommend knights of Columbus as most of their leadership is catholic

Most of? I would suggest 'all of'. The Knights of Columbus was founded as an alternative so that Catholics wouldn't become masons.

yeah but that ban was lifted so Catholics can become masons if they so wish...
thus been mixing for a few years now, so its likely a exceptional protestant, or who ever, could have some standing

theres even a rival pope saying this is masonic stuff is blasphemy, who runs the really real roman catholic church
which reminds me of a really bad moronic offshoot of the Vatican
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 09:51:56 PM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 15, 2010, 09:37:51 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on April 15, 2010, 09:28:11 PM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 15, 2010, 08:09:47 PM
if you want to sign up merely for trolling, id recommend knights of Columbus as most of their leadership is catholic

Most of? I would suggest 'all of'. The Knights of Columbus was founded as an alternative so that Catholics wouldn't become masons.

yeah but that ban was lifted so Catholics can become masons if they so wish...
thus been mixing for a few years now, so its likely a exceptional protestant, or who ever, could have some standing

theres even a rival pope saying this is masonic stuff is blasphemy, who runs the really real roman catholic church
which reminds me of a really bad moronic offshoot of the Vatican

The ban was never lifted AFAIK. Catholics who become masons still can be denied the sacraments. The Vatican repeatedly issue 'reminders' that their anti-Masonry stance still holds on account of it teaching 'religious pluralism'. (Because if men of different religious get together in the spirit of brotherhood, it means they are ignoring Catholicism as the ONE TRUE RELIGION tm!)

I only know this because a friend of mine (Catholic) joined the masons recently, quite innocently in fact. Then when he was doing some online reading, discovered lots of anti-masonic sentiment. From what I can find is that the Vatican are still down on the idea of masonry. How enforceable this is, is another matter.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 15, 2010, 10:13:27 PM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 15, 2010, 08:09:47 PM
if you want to sign up merely for trolling, id recommend knights of Columbus as most of their leadership is catholic

No, i'd be signing up primarily for the hat and for personal gain through networking...
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Eris' Heiress on May 29, 2010, 12:51:39 AM
Anyone know if any lodges admit women yet? Fuck the Amaranth & Eastern Star, they're all old ladies in sequins.
Title: Re: Freemasons to battle zombies
Post by: Freeky on May 29, 2010, 12:55:12 AM
Quote from: erisheiress on May 29, 2010, 12:51:39 AM
Anyone know if any lodges admit women yet? Fuck the Amaranth & Eastern Star, they're all old ladies in sequins.

I think I heard that some of them do, via History Channel.