Yeah, it's great here, isn't it? I have 500 channels to watch, satellite radio, an Ipod, games on my phone, and I can talk to any number of ignorant yahoos on the internet. I have the house and two cars, the gym membership, and all the pills I can shovel down my throat. It's fucking GREAT!
The only problem is, I can now ONLY relate to machines, because everyone I know does that and nothing else. We have goddamn ZOMBIES walking through the malls and the airports, talking to their Bluetooths™, they're surrounded by thousands of people they look right through, while they're talking - presumably - to someone hundreds of miles away. If you believe that. It's no use visiting my friends, because they're busy "socializing" online, at Deviant Art, Facebook, or just "stumbling". Whole lives trickle away, and nobody really notices. It's normal, now.
Now that we all have Ipods, you can't catch a decent show anymore, at least not in this hellhole. I suppose I could go to the Casino and watch some fossilized never-was, but that isn't rock n roll. There isn't any more rock n roll, man, it's all just canned shit you download from some "file sharing" site in Russia. Well, you can settle for Justin Beiber, I guess. Does that count?
It's fucking LONELY up here in these goddamn mountains, LMNO. I have 1.1 million people within the greater Tucson area, but they're all a million miles away. I live in a fucking mausoleum. Nothing but corpses until you get to San Diego, and I'm not feeling optimistic about that place, either. I'm starting to think that I missed the fucking Zombiepocalypse.
But, shit yeah, I live in the Boomtown™. And only I live there. Everyone else is dead. Shambling corpses clutching their personal electronics and pretending that they're still alive.
They're all DEAD, MAN! Can't you fucking SMELL IT?
Okay for now,
Dok
I learned a secret last weekend, Dok... I wasn't looking for it, but it snuck up on me and gave me an atomic wedgie to beat the band.
The weird is still out there.
Out there, in that vast expanse of Boomtown, there are still people who creep around, and want to cross the line and take it to the wall, abd break that fucking wall down, and dance in the rubble.
Authority tried to scatter them, hoping they'd slowly die in isolation, but the Fun™ never dies. It just changes masks. If you put your ear to the ground, you might be able to hear them, still swimming upstream, looking for a place to gather. They're just harder to recognize.
They had their day, before Corporate Interests co-opted the mask. They were brazen, they flew the flag high... they got NOTICED.
Now, there's a whole lot of KYFMS going on here. Because where before it was rude, today it's treasonous. But it's there. And it's waiting. And watching.
If this be treason, LMNO, let's make the most of it.
I fail to see why I should alter my behavior to accommodate monkeys...And yes, this means I will probably get mashed flat sooner or later. But the fucking monkey suit itches, and I don't feel like wearing it anymore.
Here I stand, I can do no other.
I'm not one of the living dead, LMNO. I need AIR. I gotta BREATHE.
Bumpity.
What's amazing is I can never remember reading or writing this stuff, so when it gets bumped, it's like the first time all over again.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 24, 2012, 08:19:32 PM
What's amazing is I can never remember reading or writing this stuff, so when it gets bumped, it's like the first time all over again.
Same here.
We're old. :lulz:
MY LAWN. OFF IT.
:mccain:
...
Hey, where's the old man emoticon? Or McCain, for that matter?
Oh, there's McCain, at least.
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
Especially when they end up not wearing a headset and seem to be arguing to get the other person to take the fucking cat out of the microwave.
Did I tell you about the game ML and I used to play, called "HOMELESS... or HIPSTER?"
That could apply very well to this situation as well. Only call it "BATSHIT... or BLUETOOTH?"
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
Those ones are the best. Especially when they're holding up the line at the sandwich station because they can't stop wagging their peen enough to tell me what they want on their god damn sun-dried tomato wrap.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 26, 2012, 05:29:28 AM
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
Those ones are the best. Especially when they're holding up the line at the sandwich station because they can't stop wagging their peen enough to tell me what they want on their god damn sun-dried tomato wrap.
When I worked retail I would just start helping the person behind them. They hate that.
Quote from: Nigel on February 27, 2012, 04:40:15 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 26, 2012, 05:29:28 AM
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
Those ones are the best. Especially when they're holding up the line at the sandwich station because they can't stop wagging their peen enough to tell me what they want on their god damn sun-dried tomato wrap.
When I worked retail I would just start helping the person behind them. They hate that.
Yup they do!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
I have
never figured out how to talk importantly.
Quote from: navkat on February 27, 2012, 05:11:45 AM
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
I have never figured out how to talk importantly.
It helps to punctuate your sentences with a decisive nod and slap your fist into the palm of your other hand while keeping a solemn expression on your face - sort of like you're constipated but on the verge of sharting at the same time.
It also helps to think you're the center of the fucking Earth and nothing else is more important than whether or not
you get
exactly one pound of Mesquite Turkey or Honey Maple Turkey.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 27, 2012, 05:22:34 AM
Quote from: navkat on February 27, 2012, 05:11:45 AM
Quote from: Nigel on February 26, 2012, 01:06:18 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 12:04:05 AM
BTW speaking about BlueTooths. You know how the first time you saw those folks you wondered if they were crazy and talking to themselves?
But then you realized oh no they're on the phone.
Well I decided to stop realizing that and assume they're crazy.
More than the poor sods with no phone that indeed just talk (there's not as much here btw). Butt fuck those headset people. It looks fucking stupid and sure every time makes me wonder if you're talking to imaginary friends--BUT having considered everything, I don't see much benefit in making the distinction. Except that the ones not talking into their headset aren't doing it because of their own volition.
My favorite are the ones talking LOUDLY and IMPORTANTLY.
I have never figured out how to talk importantly.
It helps to punctuate your sentences with a decisive nod and slap your fist into the palm of your other hand while keeping a solemn expression on your face - sort of like you're constipated but on the verge of sharting at the same time.
It also helps to think you're the center of the fucking Earth and nothing else is more important than whether or not you get exactly one pound of Mesquite Turkey or Honey Maple Turkey.
:lulz:
Another thing they hate is to do everything just as they've asked, but without ever looking directly at them. Like, just sort of let your gaze slide off them as if they have no real mass. I learned this trick of looking-yet-not-looking from EFO... she gazes blankly in your direction, with her eyes focused at some point six to twelve feet
behind you. Then, her eyes slowly slip off as if there was nothing at all to see there. People who Want to Be Important HATE THIS SO MUCH. You can see them mentally freak out over it, and it's so goddamn beautiful.
:lulz:
I'm a mildly aspie freakazoid so it's actually effort for me to look people in the eyes. THEY SEEM TO HATE THAT SO MUCH.
Okay, I hate it when people do that contrived cynicism thing: like the people who use that "people suck and by the way, I haven't had my morning coffee" bullshit as an excuse to be an asshole but they can't even be unique about it. I mean, they just subscribe blindly to the current brand of "these people suck/are stupid" mental flotsam drifting around the the Pop stream of consciousness. It's really annoying...like being around those people who keep repeating some dumbshit line from a once-funny movie like Office Space...over and over and OVER again. I mean, I want to shake them and say "YOU're no fucking smartie-pance EITHER, fuckmunch, so why don't you just be NICE, alright?"
Quote from: navkat on February 27, 2012, 06:36:04 AM
:lulz:
I'm a mildly aspie freakazoid so it's actually effort for me to look people in the eyes. THEY SEEM TO HATE THAT SO MUCH.
I find eye contact with people I don't know well very uncomfortable, and I know what you mean. Plus, I was raised that it is rude to look people in the eye if you are not close... cultural norms really differ on that. I don't know if it's Aspie stuff or cultural stuff or upbringing stuff. My brother is an Aspie (and sometimes drives me nuts) and my mother and sister have a lot of Aspergers traits. I score high for Aspergers but don't have any real cultural/social traits of it, so I think that a lot of my test score reflects the environment and value system I was raised in and not necessarily inborn traits. Contradictorily, I also score high on tests for social empathy and emotional fluency, so I think that a large part of my high autism spectrum score is simply being an introverted person who was raised in a particular series of environments.
And, I am pretty certain that my daughter (LO) has Aspergers or something like it... she has been diagnosed with a pervasive development disorder, but she is anything but unengaging. The funny thing about it is that in the assessment they asked whether she had been left alone and not held much as an infant, and actually she was the neediest of my three babies and I almost never put her down even to sleep; she slept in a sling on my or my husband's body. She just couldn't rest if she was out of human contact, unlike EFO who could always fall asleep anywhere. And still can. Lucky girl!
Oh, and my ex is very Aspie. Very very.
Quote from: Nigel on February 27, 2012, 06:55:19 AM
Quote from: navkat on February 27, 2012, 06:36:04 AM
:lulz:
I'm a mildly aspie freakazoid so it's actually effort for me to look people in the eyes. THEY SEEM TO HATE THAT SO MUCH.
I find eye contact with people I don't know well very uncomfortable, and I know what you mean.
I find it helps to focus on something else such as reciting bee colony death statistics and if you find your eyes naturally shift downwards, just let them and tilt your head backwards, don't break contact, DON'T BLINK! BLINK AND YOU'RE DEAD, and keep repeating the death statistics--I'd say to keep "droning" them, but bee deaths is nothing to pun about, and I don't say that lightly!
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 27, 2012, 11:58:41 AM
Quote from: Nigel on February 27, 2012, 06:55:19 AM
Quote from: navkat on February 27, 2012, 06:36:04 AM
:lulz:
I'm a mildly aspie freakazoid so it's actually effort for me to look people in the eyes. THEY SEEM TO HATE THAT SO MUCH.
I find eye contact with people I don't know well very uncomfortable, and I know what you mean.
I find it helps to focus on something else such as reciting bee colony death statistics and if you find your eyes naturally shift downwards, just let them and tilt your head backwards, don't break contact, DON'T BLINK! BLINK AND YOU'RE DEAD, and keep repeating the death statistics--I'd say to keep "droning" them, but bee deaths is nothing to pun about, and I don't say that lightly!
:lulz:
You People have the right to kiss my ass. In fact, you have the right to kiss my shiny metal replacement ass, which I acquired after losing the previous one when I turned right instead of left at a bad moment.
Note: The replacement ass still has hair on it. I paid extra. LOOK GRATEFUL.
Bear in mind, of course, that I am the runt piglet and usually last to the teat.
For what that's worth.
Interesting about the cultural norms in relation to eye contact. I was raised to believe that it's incredibly rude to NOT make eye contact with people (I don't think that was meant to include random strangers on the street but I do it anyway) and I have begun to enjoy mentally cataloging the different reactions to that depending on where I am at any given moment both geographically and demographically.
One thing I've learned for sure, PDX is NOT all about strong eye contact. I think they're afraid I'm using some secret mind-control technique on them.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on March 07, 2012, 05:42:56 AM
Interesting about the cultural norms in relation to eye contact. I was raised to believe that it's incredibly rude to NOT make eye contact with people (I don't think that was meant to include random strangers on the street but I do it anyway) and I have begun to enjoy mentally cataloging the different reactions to that depending on where I am at any given moment both geographically and demographically.
One thing I've learned for sure, PDX is NOT all about strong eye contact. I think they're afraid I'm using some secret mind-control technique on them.
I think that Portlanders tend to view eye contact as either a challenge or a come-on, and since they're afraid of both, it makes them blush and scurry away.