"Hey baby, nice payload!"
/
(http://www.gotbroken.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2007-toyota-tundra-crewmax-i-force-47-v8-limited-front-side-view-588x441.jpg)
"I heard you like a guy with a large towing capacity."
/
(http://www.gotbroken.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2007-toyota-tundra-crewmax-i-force-47-v8-limited-front-side-view-588x441.jpg)
"Have you had your V8 today?"
/
(http://www.gotbroken.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2007-toyota-tundra-crewmax-i-force-47-v8-limited-front-side-view-588x441.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/cmonglehereoften.jpg)
Pardon me, I couldn't notice you undressing me with your eyes, would you like a try with your whole face?
Are you from heaven? Because this leg ain't gonna hump itself.
Does your face hurt? It's making my nipples spin.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/wompsuuspeeps.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/QUESTIONABLE.jpg)
Quote from: Cramulus on May 11, 2010, 05:38:23 PM
[
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/wompsuuspeeps.jpg)
COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz:
So hawt.
(http://i43.tinypic.com/2eoblzk.jpg)
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/pastahose.jpg)
^ I have discovered that ladies do not like this
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/doitroad.jpg)
^ the blunt approach seldom works
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/worthlesswithouttts.gif)
^ pickup lines for /b/tards
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/porkshout.jpg)
^ it is super effective
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/KROM_COMMANDS_THEE.jpg)
^ the appeal to authority can get you laid sometimes
"Show me your tits."
I used it on Mrs. Hawk 10 years ago. She did. We got hitched.
Is something hot in here or is it jsut you?
Quote from: Cramulus on May 11, 2010, 05:38:23 PM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/QUESTIONABLE.jpg)
:lulz:
I'm assuming you guys aren't seeing the pictures in my posts.
I can't see them on this comp.
However, I do have a pickup line that works more often than not:
"Hi. My name's Roger."
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 06:11:23 PM
I can't see them on this comp.
However, I do have a pickup line that works more often than not:
"Hi. My name's Roger."
YUO SICK BASTARD!
CrazyD: "Hi I'm Dave. What do you think of me so far?"
"Can I give your moustache a ride home?"
"I wish I was DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."
Quote from: Kai on May 11, 2010, 06:49:28 PM
"I wish I was DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."
:lulz:
In case anyone was wondering. My first three posts featured pictures of pickup trucks.
RWHN,
Needs to remember blockpages and firewalls next time he starts a thread based on a visual pun.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on May 11, 2010, 06:55:00 PM
In case anyone was wondering. My first three posts featured pictures of pickup trucks.
RWHN,
Needs to remember blockpages and firewalls next time he starts a thread based on a visual pun.
Figured I'd just look at it when I get home.
Whoops, sorry to ruin the un-funny for you. :lol:
Hello butter dumpling, I see you have two tits, is one for me?
Quickly woman, my face isn't going to thrust itself into your purse!
Are your jeans pregnant? You might want to get into my bathtub before their water breaks.
Can I buy you a drink? Your entire fist looks ravishing.
I collect little china dolls, would you like to see a delicious creampie?
Fuck me if this isn't the first time you've heard this, but my face isn't going to slap itself.
Come here often? Or is that a musical restraining order?
what's a spy like you doing in a hot jizz joint like me?
Hey baby, I support anal terrorism.
You look educated, when was the last time somebody fingerbanged your face?
do you know how to drive a dump truck? because my ass is killing me.
How about catching a movie and then having an awkward conversation?
::To any woman with chest tatoos:: "Tats for tits, Clarice?"
This is my friend Richter, he can say good morning in 11 languages, none of which are spoken on earth.
the worst pickup line I've ever used that's actually worked:
Hey ladies. I'm a professor of sexual mathmatics. I'm collecting data for a paper on what would happen if the three of us got all slippery together. Would you like to come downstairs and see my thesis?
This is the worst pickup line that I've used and it hasn't worked:
Sail away with me on my magical flying pirate ship. We'll sail across the sea of love together, the salty spray in our face, until such time as we are both soaking wet.
(she only spoke a little english, the nuances were, sadly, lost on her)
are you the dick patrol? Because I am prepared to make a throbbing donation.
Would you like to participate in the jizz lottery? The tickets are scratch and sniff and they only cost a blumkin.
Hey sexy. You wanna come back to my place for a game of Truth or Enema?
I want to warn you in advance, I have two googly eyes glued onto the head of my penis with industrial strength adhesive.
Your dress looks good on you. But it'd look better on me while I talk about my father and weep openly.
CRazyD once read a statistic that 10% of people go to bars for casual sex. To test this, he offered 10 ladies, with perfect seriousness, casual sex. #10 said yes.
Is it dizzy in here or are the roofies kicking in?
no, I didn't take roofies. I meant for you.
if it's too cold in here, I can invade your personal space with my elbows
Do I know you from somewhere? You look like one of the people in my basement handcuffed to the hot water heater.
Cram and Kai win this thread.
One that actually worked for me once:
Do you want to go back to my place and play some strip arm wrestling?
Quote from: Cramulus on May 11, 2010, 07:21:56 PM
Your dress looks good on you. But it'd look better on me while I talk about my father and weep openly.
Did you steal that one from Marvin Gaye?
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
oh excuse me, I just wanted to jerk off on your shoes.
Do you want to come back to my place and find out why they call me the "potato assassin"?
If it was illegal to grope you with my eyes, I'd be getting banged in prison by now.
Do you know karate? Cos damn honey, your body belongs in Karate Kid II.
If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we reenact the erotic civil war?
Would you rather have sex with a pig or a dog? Good, becaues the pig outfit is still at the drycleaner.
Have you ever seen Muppet Treasure Island and would you like to have sex with my couch?
Let's cut to the chase. My testicles emit light.
"I'll let you access my mountpoint if you fsck my superblock."
Do you want to see my Abraham Lincoln impression and then shoot me in the back?
Don't look now, but the jizz truck is backing up. Beep! .. Beep! .. Beep! That'll be $60.
Is your name really Facial, or is this going to be a happy coincidence?
Two pickup lines that I've used that worked:
"Want to come over and make sandwiches? I mean, watch a movie?"
(when offered a strand of beads) "Do I have to show you my tits? No? Can I anyway?"
Worst line I've ever used that worked: "So, you know, if your boyfriend is boring you we could go upstairs and fuck in my friend's mom's room. She has nice sheets."
Worst line I've ever used that didn't: "So...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"
Worst line I've ever heard used by someone else that worked: "Well, I've got another girl on my boat right now but we could go fuck in that boat over there while the crew is busy clearing customs."
Worst line I've ever heard, period: "Hey there, you sure do got a nice shitter!"
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on May 11, 2010, 10:59:14 PM
Worst line I've ever used that worked: "So, you know, if your boyfriend is boring you we could go upstairs and fuck in my friend's mom's room. She has nice sheets."
Worst line I've ever used that didn't: "So...you wanna go halves on a bastard?"
Worst line I've ever heard used by someone else that worked: "Well, I've got another girl on my boat right now but we could go fuck in that boat over there while the crew is busy clearing customs."
Worst line I've ever heard, period: "Hey there, you sure do got a nice shitter!"
Your post failed to address the question as to whether this line worked or not.
It did, in a sense.
The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.
this thread made my stomach clench.
then i pooped and laughed.
at the same time?
"If I told you that you had a beautiful body, were you running through my head? Wait, I fucked that up...
... Hey, wanna buy me a beer?"
"I'm not wearing panties."
...but the most effective line ever is saying, "Hi," and talking to the person like a normal human being.
:lulz:
this whole thread is :mittens:
I like to use pickup lines on girls I already know. Can't think of anything good atm, but...
Back when I worked food service, this woman at my register asked if I was included with the meal
...the Dutch call it achterschip het lach.
Is that bacon in your pocket or have you been giving rimjobs and can I get one?
Your clothes look great casually tossed onto my floor. I should know, I stole some and put them there.
"What is that smell!? Is that you?"
I was listening to your thoughts about what you were going to do to yourself later and I would like to offer my assistance.
"Do I creep you out, or make you uncomfortable? ... Okay, how about now?"
Is it hot in here or do you always smell like you just got laid?
Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson? I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 03:45:16 PM
Is it hot in here or do you always smell like you just got laid?
:lulz:
"Nice shirt, it'd look better crumpled up on the floor next to my bed"
when that doesn't work
"Nice legs, they'd look better crumpled up on the floor next to my bed"
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2010, 03:46:42 PM
Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson? I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.
Classy. :digtbk:
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on May 13, 2010, 07:16:14 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2010, 03:46:42 PM
Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson? I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.
Classy. :digtbk:
If I run into someone who gets it, and reponds smartly, I may as well propose on the spot.
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on May 13, 2010, 04:11:20 AM
It did, in a sense.
The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.
Go ECH! 8)
Of course, the sad post script to the story is that the man who approached your friend was a world class oncologist and surgeon. Had she taken him up on his offer, the colo-rectal cancer would've been discovered earlier.....
TIP: Sometimes the really creepy guy/gal that you couldn't possibly imagine ever having sex with just might save your life!!*
*Heard that from AKK.
You have nice eyes... Can I keep them?
Quote from: Mangrove on May 13, 2010, 07:35:58 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on May 13, 2010, 04:11:20 AM
It did, in a sense.
The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.
Go ECH! 8)
Of course, the sad post script to the story is that the man who approached your friend was a world class oncologist and surgeon. Had she taken him up on his offer, the colo-rectal cancer would've been discovered earlier.....
TIP: Sometimes the really creepy guy/gal that you couldn't possibly imagine ever having sex with just might save your life!!*
*Heard that from AKK.
:lulz: that would be even worse, because they'd hold it over you
Life-saving creepers are still creepers.
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2010, 07:18:43 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on May 13, 2010, 07:16:14 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2010, 03:46:42 PM
Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson? I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.
Classy. :digtbk:
If I run into someone who gets it, and reponds smartly, I may as well propose on the spot.
Just so long as you don't use Sylvia Plath. That might send the wrong message.
Hi. I really suck at giving head and I can prove it if you like.
Nice mini dress. If you're not wearing panties we could have a fly problem.
What did the catfish say to the trout? I've got my load, I'm backin out!
Wasn't there an xkcd comic that had something like:
"that shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better as the top of a Molotov cocktail flying through a bank window"
??
If not, there should be.