Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 11:01:28 AM

Title: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 11:01:28 AM
Recently I decided to venture into the wonderful world of the martini cocktail.

I started off with this recipe: http://artofmanliness.com/2009/05/04/how-to-make-the-perfect-martini/

Except I failed to make ice (the ice "cube" plastic bubble sheet thing turned out to be leaky, also they don't sell bags of ice in liquor stores like they do in the US), and didn't have the gin long enough in the freezer. Also the cocktail glasses didn't fit in the tiny freezer compartment we have.

However, it turned out pretty good. The advice on playing Sinatra while drinking did truly add extra flavour as well.


Next try, a few days later. The gin is thoroughly chilled, well below 32F. I managed to make a good amount of ice. I should really get a plastic tray because these bubble baggies are crap (and kinda old). We ate the olives previously so I didn't have any olives. I used pickled white onions, which makes the cocktail a Gibson according to the article, but I figured that's better than nothing. Lacking a cocktail shaker, I used a (clean) glass jar with a lid. I probably shook the things too much. Also I didn't throw away the vermouth as the article said, cause even though I dont particularly like vermouth, we found the previous attempt a bit too dry and added a few drops of vermouth afterwards.

It turned out watery as hell and wasn't very good at all.


Third try, right after the previous cause I wasn't going to have any of this watery business. I just poured one cap of vermouth into the cocktail glass and two shots of (very cold) gin. It is very good. If I would have had an olive it would probably have been better. Also I didn't feel like Sinatra and played Kruder & Dorfmeister K&D Sessions - Bomb the Bass - Bug Powder Dust because, yeah :mrgreen:


So, question, is all this messing about with icecubes in a cocktail shaker really necessary? Am I doin it rite?
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Rumckle on May 25, 2010, 11:26:00 AM
In my experience, how you did it was right.

If you keep your gin in the freezer I wouldn't bother with the cocktail shaker and ice.

Also, I personally prefer a twist of lemon peel to olives.

eta: while I do like Bug Powder Dust, I'm not sure it is martini music though. ;)
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 25, 2010, 12:15:14 PM
Yeah, I say skip the ice if your gin is already cold.

I recommend that you now advance to the dirty martini. The only thing that beats a well-balanced dirty martini is Hendrick's neat.

Also, my recommended martini music is the less fast paced stuff off of Amon Tobin's album Permutation, such as this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxGE_XA5pOo).
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 01:38:20 PM
Some people say that the small amount of melt you get when you stir it with ice is necessary.  If you're using a cheaper gin, this may be true; but a lot of the higher-end gins can be served neat (as Net pointed out).

I think the only thing that recipe gets wrong is the amount of time you let it sit, and swirl.  If everything has been in the freezer, then it's already as cold as it's going to get. 

The way I usually do it:

Ice in the shaker.
Gin in the shaker.
Stir.  Sit.
Vermouth in the glass.  Swirl, dump (vermouth coats the glass, giving a consistent, even amount).
Lemon rind twist rubbed around edge of glass. Leave twist in the bottom.
Stir, pour.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 01:42:24 PM
Also, remember that if you don't chill your gin, it's OKAY to shake it. The idea of bruising gin is bullshit made up by lazy bartenders back in the 1920s.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 01:44:10 PM
Fuck shaking it.  Even with a strainer, you have a greater chance of ending up with ice chips in your drink.

Ice chips in a martini fucking suck.


Stir.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 02:10:55 PM
Yeah, you only want ice in your drink if you deliberately put it there to blend.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 03:47:01 PM
I prefer dirty a dirty vodka martini. Also chocolate martinis aren't bad either.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 03:49:15 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 25, 2010, 03:47:01 PM
I prefer dirty a dirty vodka martini.
:argh!:
QuoteAlso chocolate martinis aren't bad either.
:hashishim: :jihaad: :hashishim:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 03:52:32 PM
wut?

I can't stand gin.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 03:56:20 PM
I might be okay with the vodka subversion of a martini, but a "chocolate martini" is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.

Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 03:58:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 03:56:20 PM
I might be okay with the vodka subversion of a martini, but a "chocolate martini" is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.



But I really like them. :)
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 04:01:25 PM
Then call it a "Choco-tail" or some sort of frilly stupid name.  But it's not a martini, no matter what kind of glass you serve it in.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 04:03:40 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 04:43:29 PM
Martini = vodka/gin + vermouth + garnish

That's it.

Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 04:47:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 25, 2010, 04:43:29 PM
Martini = vodka/gin + vermouth  olive juice + garnish

That's it.



Vermouth is teh suck.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 04:54:07 PM
Then it's 3 shots of clear liquor straight up with a garnish.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 04:58:07 PM
By whatever name we give it all I know is 2 of them makes Mrs. Hawks clothes fall off.  :lol:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 06:35:27 PM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on May 25, 2010, 12:15:14 PM
I recommend that you now advance to the dirty martini. The only thing that beats a well-balanced dirty martini is Hendrick's neat.

this is with some of the olive brine in it, right? how much? a spoon?

another problem with the first martini was that I got some relatively more expensive olives, which sat in olive oil, not brine. I did rinse them off a bit though.

oh and question I used green olives, cause you see them in all the pics, but nowhere does it state it can't be black olives. can it be black olives? something in me says no.

Quote from: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 01:38:20 PM
Some people say that the small amount of melt you get when you stir it with ice is necessary.  If you're using a cheaper gin, this may be true; but a lot of the higher-end gins can be served neat (as Net pointed out).

I used Gordon's dry gin. Is that good?

QuoteVermouth in the glass.  Swirl, dump (vermouth coats the glass, giving a consistent, even amount).
Lemon rind twist rubbed around edge of glass. Leave twist in the bottom.
Stir, pour.

Will try lemon rind next time.

Quote from: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 01:44:10 PM
Fuck shaking it.  Even with a strainer, you have a greater chance of ending up with ice chips in your drink.

Ice chips in a martini fucking suck.

I got enthousiastic, and did get ice chips. But not big ones and they were gone pretty quickly.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 07:29:18 PM
Dunno how big your spoons are, I'd start with a teaspoon (about 0.17 fluid ounce), and work your way up, depending on your taste.  Some people use quite a lot.

Use brined olives, if you're going to use olives.

Traditional calls for green olives, you can try black, but I would think the taste would be off.

In the US, Gordon's is not considered higher-end... However, the UK might offer a better brand.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 07:52:17 PM
BOMBAY SAPPHIRE. NOTHING LESS.


-Suu
Snob.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 07:55:14 PM
Yeah, that's usually my starting point.  I only use tanqueray regular for G&T's, and even then, I can taste the difference.  I usually choose Hendricks when they have it.  



...and it's a freaking martini.  if you're not being a snob about it, drink something else.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 08:05:21 PM
Hendrick's is the drink of choice for G&Ts. Mmm, cucumber...
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Jenne on May 25, 2010, 08:22:51 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.

THIS.  Few things suck worse than a bad gin.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 09:02:06 PM
I saw the sapphire one at the liquor store, but it was kind of blueish ... I dunno I just didn't feel like buying something blueish.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:08:06 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 09:02:06 PM
I saw the sapphire one at the liquor store, but it was kind of blueish ... I dunno I just didn't feel like buying something blueish.

The bottle is blue, the gin is not. Trust me on this.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.

It's seriously the most refreshing gin you'll ever have on a hot day. I should probably pick up a bottle and put it in the freezer along with a summer's supply of quinine...I really need to buy an AC unit soon.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 10:12:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.

It's seriously the most refreshing gin you'll ever have on a hot day. I should probably pick up a bottle and put it in the freezer along with a summer's supply of quinine...I really need to buy an AC unit soon.

Does it have that horrible bitter aftertaste I associate with gin?
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:15:20 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 25, 2010, 10:12:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.

It's seriously the most refreshing gin you'll ever have on a hot day. I should probably pick up a bottle and put it in the freezer along with a summer's supply of quinine...I really need to buy an AC unit soon.

Does it have that horrible bitter aftertaste I associate with gin?

It DOES still have juniper, so if you associate that with the horrid aftertaste, then probably yes. But GOOD gins don't typically have a nasty piney aftertaste anyway.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 10:16:23 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:15:20 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 25, 2010, 10:12:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 25, 2010, 08:15:48 PM
I must try this Hendricks. 

Bombay Saphire is a must though.  I wouldn't call that snobbery, I'd call that knowing the differnece between Gin and alchoholic pine needle juice.

It's seriously the most refreshing gin you'll ever have on a hot day. I should probably pick up a bottle and put it in the freezer along with a summer's supply of quinine...I really need to buy an AC unit soon.

Does it have that horrible bitter aftertaste I associate with gin?

It DOES still have juniper, so if you associate that with the horrid aftertaste, then probably yes. But GOOD gins don't typically have a nasty piney aftertaste anyway.

Well Mrs. Hawk likes gin and tonic so I may get some and try it. Thanks.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:19:34 PM
NP! It's really awesome. Serve it with a slice of cucumber instead of citrus.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 25, 2010, 10:29:01 PM
I've heard there's something called genever that's like gin but even more awesome.  I need to find some and drink it all.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 10:32:17 PM
Hawk,
is a secret wine ho.

We have several wineries around this area and we seem to buy a case when we visit one.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 25, 2010, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on May 25, 2010, 10:29:01 PM
I've heard there's something called genever that's like gin but even more awesome.  I need to find some and drink it all.

in the Netherlands, "jenever" is sort of the same stuff, except it doesn't have juniper berries. and is made of grain (wheat?). actually it probably just shares the language root.

it's pretty good mixed with bitter lemon. just another white clear liquor for the arsenal.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 10:40:15 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenever
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 26, 2010, 02:36:32 AM
QuoteWhen jenever is drunk with lager beer as a chaser, it is referred to as a kopstoot (headbutt).

:lulz:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Suu on May 26, 2010, 03:48:47 AM
I need to use the word "Kopstoot" on a regular basis.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 26, 2010, 08:29:01 AM
this is true. jenever is generally consumed by elderly men of the somewhat alcoholic persuasion in small brown local bars. as a kopstoot or just single.

it's pronounced cop stoat, btw.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Rod Stewart on May 26, 2010, 10:25:20 AM
I'll have two of everything, to go!
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: hooplala on May 26, 2010, 02:46:20 PM
Anyone martini purist enough to drink pre-prohibition martinis?
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 26, 2010, 02:52:10 PM
Ah, the incredibly wet martini.  I've found that I really enjoy something my local bartender calls a "Hearst", due to a legend that it was what William Randolph Hearst used to drink.

It's equal amounts Gin and Sweet (Red) vermouth, with a dash of angostura bitters, and a dash of orange bitters. 

It's really quite good.  The bitters add a nice touch.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Jenne on May 27, 2010, 04:29:09 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 26, 2010, 02:52:10 PM
Ah, the incredibly wet martini.  I've found that I really enjoy something my local bartender calls a "Hearst", due to a legend that it was what William Randolph Hearst used to drink.

It's equal amounts Gin and Sweet (Red) vermouth, with a dash of angostura bitters, and a dash of orange bitters.  

It's really quite good.  The bitters add a nice touch.

Ooh, I need to try that one.  I've been trying to expand my martini palette.  Or, palate, rather.  :lol:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
I love me a martini.  I haven't found a place that really puts care into it though.  And fuck vodka in a martini.

Also Beefeater or GTFO.  :lulz:
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: hooplala on May 27, 2010, 06:16:47 PM
Bombay Sapphire is just more fun to say.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 27, 2010, 06:49:44 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
I love me a martini.  I haven't found a place that really puts care into it though.  And fuck vodka in a martini.

Also Beefeater or GTFO.  :lulz:


What the fuck?  The only time Beefeater has been good was when it was a 1985 post-hardcore band from DC.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 27, 2010, 06:55:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 27, 2010, 06:49:44 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
I love me a martini.  I haven't found a place that really puts care into it though.  And fuck vodka in a martini.

Also Beefeater or GTFO.  :lulz:


What the fuck?  The only time Beefeater has been good was when it was a 1985 post-hardcore band from DC.

Look, I've developed expensive taste for single malts and beer.  Allow me my cheap liquor!

When I replace the bottle I have it'll probably be something better.  I've had it for a year and I'm about 1/3 of the way through, I'll let you know what I choose in 2012. :)
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 27, 2010, 07:56:49 PM
I have never had a martini that I liked, ever. BUT, I have this sense that it's not because I think martinis are gross, but rather because I've never had a good martini, so I keep trying.

Also, MAN those things will fuck me up.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on May 27, 2010, 08:02:27 PM
[PEDANTIC, ADMITTEDLY]

Is not martini, is Hearst.  Is cocktail.




sorry about that.

[/PEDANTIC, ADMITTEDLY]
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on May 29, 2010, 04:17:27 PM
I'm trying one now with some bits of lemon rind, slightly bruised and rubbed around the glass, instead of an olive.

And DAMN.

I gotta say I greatly prefer this to the olive (which doesn't exactly add very much taste to the drink, but just sort of sits at the bottom soaking up booze?).
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on June 01, 2010, 02:36:09 PM
Yeah, I've always been more of a lemon twist fan.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 02, 2010, 04:47:34 AM
Quote from: LMNO on May 26, 2010, 02:52:10 PM
Ah, the incredibly wet martini.  I've found that I really enjoy something my local bartender calls a "Hearst", due to a legend that it was what William Randolph Hearst used to drink.

It's equal amounts Gin and Sweet (Red) vermouth, with a dash of angostura bitters, and a dash of orange bitters. 

It's really quite good.  The bitters add a nice touch.

Drinking this right now, out of curiosity.  I was missing the orange bitters, but I still like it.  Thanks for the suggestion.
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Jasper on June 02, 2010, 04:53:52 AM
Oh fuck me has it really been four years since my last martini?

Wait, I'm 23.  That's not so bad, then. 
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: LMNO on June 02, 2010, 02:01:06 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 02, 2010, 04:47:34 AM
Quote from: LMNO on May 26, 2010, 02:52:10 PM
Ah, the incredibly wet martini.  I've found that I really enjoy something my local bartender calls a "Hearst", due to a legend that it was what William Randolph Hearst used to drink.

It's equal amounts Gin and Sweet (Red) vermouth, with a dash of angostura bitters, and a dash of orange bitters. 

It's really quite good.  The bitters add a nice touch.

Drinking this right now, out of curiosity.  I was missing the orange bitters, but I still like it.  Thanks for the suggestion.

Perhaps a twist of orange peel would work...
Title: Re: martini [attn LMNO]
Post by: Triple Zero on June 03, 2010, 11:47:44 PM
For lack of a lemon, I used orange zest/twist for today's martini. Which makes it no longer a proper martini, I know.

But it tastes good. A bit reminiscent of Cointreau.