Gods always seem to really get quite "precious" when they decide they have been dissed, challenged, or insulted by Mortals. There must be
some kind of "Don't they know who I am?"! gene running through the Pantheons, like Victoria's recessives. You'd think the God's would be above all that kind of petty vindictive posturing, but they don't seem to handle insults in a mature, Godlike manner at all. And always really gauche, ostentatious displays of utter pwng, and never knowingly understated, when they are in a capricious or smitey mood, or even just out of boredom.
I know there are many absurd examples of Deities mashing up any mortal who dares to even jokingly question their omnipotence, but here's an example I got carried away with, in someone else's thread. A totally off topic electrocution curiosity was churning me up inside, so rather than hijack what is already a perfectly aligned thread, I'm going to spew my imaginative carrion here, and hopefully, someone might add another few scenarios of God sized hissy fits, or smiting of infidels, heretics, etc.
**STARTS TO DAYDREAM**
Earlier today, at the Golf Course
"The pressure is really on now, just had his third Eagle, now only needs a par to win, walks across the green with his putter over his shoulder, got to make a four yard putt for the Pro-Am Sponkhill Memorial Trophy". He squares up to the shot, just about to start his gentle backswing, and suddenly, out of a blue, clear sky, a blinding light, and a sound like ripping a hurricane in half, and he's gone! One smoking Golfshoe, left empty, near the pin, but no sign of him at all, and the ball rolls slowly towards the hole, then . . . . . . . . .
You decide whether the ball drops in or not, I am "Plasma Man" Struck by Wild Lightning! Transformed into a sentient ball of ionised gases,
With the power to be blown about, by a light breeze, Plasma man prevails, self appointed Guardian of the Dewponds Golf course, he wanders like a lonely sentinel, overseeing fair play, and good manners on the links!
And in the Local Papers,
"Golfing Legend, and almost really real Discordian, Prefect Q. 4 McFukmuk met with serious resistence on the 18th hole of the Pro-Am Sponkpot's Memorial Trophy earlier this Morning, when he was reported as having had "some kind of a fit, or seizure" He was found to have been vapourised in a freak accident, involving a bolt of Lightning, a putter, and a metal spiked Golfshoe"
"Witnesses described the incident as happening "very fast" .
Golfing partner, Stefan "The Strimmer" Stankiroskanoff" said to our Reporter,
"I've never seen anything like that happen before, I hope he's OK, there's the Aesir Challenge Cup qualifier next Thursday "
He said, between sobs.
"He was only saying, not two minutes before it happened, how he was going to totally ream the Aesir in the playoffs, and how Weddesun had better be playing better Golf than he did last year"
His very last words were
"I'm going to Bitchslap that Thor Weddensun, on every single hole next week, then plant my Dunlop 64 right up his jacksy, just cuz I can!" Then he was gone! Just like that!"
"Golfcourse Staff are searching for any pieces of debris before they start to stink the place up, but although there seems to be a substantial blast patch, very little of substance is seen of McFukmuk's vapourised remains."
A Spokesperson said,
"The Course will be open for business again by 4.30 this afternoon"
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Quote from: BadBeast on May 28, 2010, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Hestia blows up a Scientology barbecue.
I appointed myself my own god because those whiny assholes made me want to puke.
I can still remember when we used to beat up Jehova for his lunch money.
He aint all that :roll:
Quote from: Suu on May 29, 2010, 07:20:32 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 28, 2010, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Hestia blows up a Scientology barbecue.
Who else could ever burn shit down like her.
Never more than a spark away from Arson with that one. And she never did like Xenu. Or his creepy Cult. Or anything else that wasn't displaying incendiary qualities, for that matter.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/Hestia.jpg)
All of your Barbies is belong to Hestia
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/images2.jpg) (http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/images1.jpg)
and that "NSFW" Advertising she did for RFD. What a little scorcher!
<a href="http://s748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/GIFS/?action=view¤t=RFD.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/GIFS/RFD.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
Quote from: Suu on May 29, 2010, 07:20:32 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 28, 2010, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Hestia blows up a Scientology barbecue.
I love that! I recently did a photoshoot as Hestia.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 30, 2010, 12:37:15 AM
Quote from: Suu on May 29, 2010, 07:20:32 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 28, 2010, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Hestia blows up a Scientology barbecue.
I love that! I recently did a photoshoot as Hestia.
and she's just a MINOR character. :evil:
Quote from: Suu on May 30, 2010, 12:38:15 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 30, 2010, 12:37:15 AM
Quote from: Suu on May 29, 2010, 07:20:32 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 28, 2010, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: Suu on May 26, 2010, 05:09:09 AM
You sir, will love my graphic novel.
NOT MSY, but my own.
Does it have lots of Butthurt Deities in it? All puffed up in self righteous paroxyms of heretical hatred? And smiting of unbelievers?
Hestia blows up a Scientology barbecue.
I love that! I recently did a photoshoot as Hestia.
and she's just a MINOR character. :evil:
She may very well be minor, but I don't think I'll be taking my eyes off her for too long.
She's the reason insurance companies were invented in the first place. And probably why the roof is on fire.