Famed scientists L. Otto Snowe, PhD and R. Lee Cole, PhD had to cancel their study of Penguins because they felt it was too polarizing.
Studies show underdeveloped males tend to be a little teste, however, other scientists do not believe there is a vas deferens.
The barista left his boss quite steamed when he showed up latte for the daily grind.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 07:49:13 PM
Studies show underdeveloped males tend to be a little teste, however, other scientists do not believe there is a vas deferens.
:argh!: SONOFABITCH!!! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
He stayed by her side even when she fell eel, now that's a-moray
Why did China send old sailboats to BP?
They heard they wanted to perform a junk shot.
The geologist had to step down because of the huge overlode of work.
You don't sleep at night, do you?
You know who can't sleep? Harold Grove. Why? He's pressed day and night to find a new job since he got fired from the orange juice company he worked for. Turns out he just couldn't concentrate.
Quote from: Hawk on June 03, 2010, 08:10:06 PM
You don't sleep at night, do you?
No.
Hey, when Patrick Stewart is having sex, and the woman is on top, does that make her a Knight Rider?
okay, this isn't actually a pun, but...
A girl walks into a bar an asks the bartender for a double entendre.
So he gives it to her.
Quote from: Cramulus on June 03, 2010, 08:15:12 PM
okay, this isn't actually a pun, but...
A girl walks into a bar an asks the bartender for a double entendre.
So he gives it to her.
:lulz:
Hey, when Paul McCartney sends his list of demands to the concert promoters is that a Knight Rider?
The orchestra conductor had a very limited career because he couldn't think outside the Bachs.
Not sure if this really qualifies, but fuck it.
Wise man says that man who runs behind car gets exhausted. Man who runs in front of car gets tired.
Man who runs in front of tornado gets winded.
The record company announced the release of rare Bob Marley concert footage during his Japanese tour. The film is entitled, Bob Marley and the Whalers.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:13:28 PM
Hey, when Patrick Stewart is having sex, and the woman is on top, does that make her a Knight Rider?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:22:55 PM
Hey, when Paul McCartney sends his list of demands to the concert promoters is that a Knight Rider?
(http://www.peoriasportsonline.com/wp-content/themes/mimbo2.2/images/referee.jpg)
And when they get togther to form a publishing company....
(http://images.publicradio.org/content/2006/03/09/20060309_knightridder_2.jpg)
Quote from: Cramulus on June 03, 2010, 08:47:50 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:13:28 PM
Hey, when Patrick Stewart is having sex, and the woman is on top, does that make her a Knight Rider?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:22:55 PM
Hey, when Paul McCartney sends his list of demands to the concert promoters is that a Knight Rider?
(http://www.peoriasportsonline.com/wp-content/themes/mimbo2.2/images/referee.jpg)
Hey, if William Shatner became Sir Elton John's personal assistant would that make him a Billy Squire?
That is what we in the punning community (which would be me, myself and I) call a gut shot!
:evil:
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:13:28 PM
Hey, when Patrick Stewart is having sex, and the woman is on top, does that make her a Knight Rider?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:22:55 PM
Hey, when Paul McCartney sends his list of demands to the concert promoters is that a Knight Rider?
Hey if David Hasselhoff has sex with his car does that make him .. uh, a Knight Rider Rider?
And if he uses special equipment for this task, and does it after dark, is the equipment called his nightly Knight Rider Rider KITT?
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 04, 2010, 12:17:07 AM
Hey if David Hasselhoff has sex with his car does that make him .. uh, a Knight Rider Rider?
No, but it probably means he's into auto-erotic asphyxiation. And it probably involves cheeseburgers.
She was only the Admirals daughter, but already her naval base, was filled with discharged seamen.
It is said that Rome's obsession with bathing is part of what sent the Empire down the drain.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 04, 2010, 12:55:18 AM
She was only the Admirals daughter, but already her naval base, was filled with discharged seamen.
Funny, but has an issue of continuity. Wouldn't the discharged seamen be off the base?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 04, 2010, 11:29:30 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 04, 2010, 12:55:18 AM
She was only the Admirals daughter, but already her naval base, was filled with discharged seamen.
Funny, but has an issue of continuity. Wouldn't the discharged seamen be off the base?
No, because once the seamen are discharged, they are no longer confined to base, and may use their shore leave to wander where they will But if one of those Jolly Jack Tars, returns late, you can hear the shouts of his fellow Sailors rebuking him, as he approaches the gates,
"Eh Jack, you're late"!
okay.
:walken:
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:44:47 PM
The record company announced the release of rare Bob Marley concert footage during his Japanese tour. The film is entitled, Bob Marley and the Whalers.
They should have gone all the way, and called them "Bob Marlin, and the Whalers"
It's a good thing this punnery is unbridled.
Bridle puns are just so tacky.
It should be noted that I'm writing all your names down, and when the revolution comes you guys will be the wall.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 11:07:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:44:47 PM
The record company announced the release of rare Bob Marley concert footage during his Japanese tour. The film is entitled, Bob Marley and the Whalers.
They should have gone all the way, and called them "Bob Marlin, and the Whalers"
Here's the thing with puns. Generally, you want your words to be homonyms or pretty close. Marley and Marlin are kinda close, but not close enough. Moreover, again, its a continuity thing. It doesn't really make much sense to exchange Marley with Marlin, because it is a surname. See, replacing Wailers for Whalers works because it is a homonym, AND, it provides some satirical commentary on the fact that Japan are notorious whalers. When your puns get too nonsensical, they lose their punch.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on June 05, 2010, 10:53:34 PM
:walken:
Well, I did use the poison dart frog approach when it came to labelling the thread. But, I know, I know, much like the dart frog, it was just to enticing right? :mrgreen:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on June 06, 2010, 12:09:50 PM
It should be noted that I'm writing all your names down, and when the revolution comes you guys will be the wall.
They can take my freedom, but they won't take, MY PUNS!!!!
RWHN,
The William Wallace of Punnery
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 06, 2010, 12:21:37 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 11:07:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:44:47 PM
The record company announced the release of rare Bob Marley concert footage during his Japanese tour. The film is entitled, Bob Marley and the Whalers.
They should have gone all the way, and called them "Bob Marlin, and the Whalers"
Here's the thing with puns. Generally, you want your words to be homonyms or pretty close. Marley and Marlin are kinda close, but not close enough. Moreover, again, its a continuity thing. It doesn't really make much sense to exchange Marley with Marlin, because it is a surname. See, replacing Wailers for Whalers works because it is a homonym, AND, it provides some satirical commentary on the fact that Japan are notorious whalers. When your puns get too nonsensical, they lose their punch.
But I don't want to
punch anyone with my puns, I want them to stink. I knew "Marlin" was dead in the water anyway, but have you ever smelled a dead Marlin?
Whether in the water, or out, it's stink, as a pun, has nothing on the stink IRL. But I included it anyway, if only to add a little
Pungency. IMO, even though it's etymological source was
Puny, it was almost
Pungent enough to work. I was going to try and work the
Way Ling smell (when dead) but the idea didn't
linger long enough to develop stink. I've had a little time now, and the association with Whaling, is starting to find a little
Porpoise, and rattle around a little in my head, so I'm going to
"Stir it up" a little, to
sea what happens. So "Call me
Fishmael (Fishmeal?)" And watch this space.
Quote from: 6 Feet of Sole on June 06, 2010, 12:21:37 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 11:07:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on June 03, 2010, 08:44:47 PM
The record company announced the release of rare Bob Marley concert footage during his Japanese tour. The film is entitled, Bob Marley and the Whalers.
They should have gone all the way, and called them "Bob Marlin, and the Whalers"
Here's the thing with puns. Generally, you want your words to be homonyms or pretty close. Marley and Marlin are kinda close, but not close enough. Moreover, again, its a continuity thing. It doesn't really make much sense to exchange Marley with Marlin, because it is a surname. See, replacing Wailers for Whalers works because it is a homonym, AND, it provides some satirical commentary on the fact that Japan are notorious whalers. When your puns get too nonsensical, they lose their punch.
True, although within this context, as a follow-up pun, it sort of works.
Quote from: RWHN on June 03, 2010, 08:27:25 PM
The orchestra conductor had a very limited career because he couldn't think outside the Bachs.
Baton Concert nights, had the Brass neck to String them all along.
Oh how he wood wind them all up. Tsk tsk, I always thought he was on the fiddle.!
The podiatrist was a-maized when he found the corn on the cobbler.
The insect illustrator had to be let go because his moths were drawn too light.
Quote from: RWHN on June 18, 2010, 06:50:18 PM
The insect illustrator had to be let go because his moths were drawn too light.
Oh.
My.
God.
:crankey:
:thanks:
Jessica screamed all the way to the Gymkhana, so that when she arrived, she got a little "hoarse"
Quote from: RWHN on June 18, 2010, 06:50:18 PM
The insect illustrator had to be let go because his moths were drawn too light.
:lulz: :x
The country was ruled for 40 years by a drug-addled king. The citizens had to endure decades of acid reign.
The dairy deliveryman pint for a better career.
The young ram's parents had to put a parental block on the computer because he was spending way too much time on EweTube.
What are historians' favorite kind of jokes?
Yore Mama
There's a special kind of hell for those of us who view this thread and laugh nonstop, isn't there?
Not that I care--I hear Heaven's really boring, anyway.
Quote from: Jenne on July 26, 2010, 09:31:38 PM
There's a special kind of hell for those of us who view this thread and laugh nonstop, isn't there?
Not that I care--I hear Heaven's really boring, anyway.
This, this, a thousand times this!
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 26, 2010, 10:12:54 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 26, 2010, 09:31:38 PM
There's a special kind of hell for those of us who view this thread and laugh nonstop, isn't there?
Not that I care--I hear Heaven's really boring, anyway.
This, this, a thousand times this!
I dunno, I suspect that Jesus was probably a punner too. I mean fuck, with all the floods and death and shit, someone needed to bring a little comedy now and again, right?
Stan quit his job at the hosiery factory because he was tired of all the leg work.
This guy I know lost his left leg and left arm in a car accident. Don't worry. He was all right.
This Littler Person Psychic I know escaped from prison. He was a short medium at large.
The tea party is just a gigantic Dick Army.
My hands smelled liked crap all day. Then I realized, I kneaded a shit
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/clamChowder.png)
(http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/072410/finnish-him.gif)
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on July 28, 2010, 01:22:10 PM
The tea party is just a gigantic Dick Army.
Do they all have gigantic dicks?
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 04:42:07 PM
(http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/072410/finnish-him.gif)
:lulz: I love Finnish puns.
Of course, if it were me, and I had any ability to draw, I would make the guy on the right look like the lead singer of H.I.M.
"Hey Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Running a broth-el?"
The Greek ex-prisoner found a new career working in concrete.
Did you hear about the White Supremacist rally being held during the Delaware primary?
I guess they really meant it when they said they were going to Storm the Castle.
Ensnared in controversy, Tom decided to quit as drummer for the band to avoid any further repurcussions.
When asked about his views on reincarnation, the wildebeest replied, "Why sure, I believe everything old shall soon be gnu again."
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 05:08:45 PM
"Hey Waiter! What's this fly doing in my alphabet soup?"
"Running a broth-L?"
I'm going to the region of Thud for 23 hours for improving that pun. :x
Quote from: Telarus on December 21, 2010, 12:59:03 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 05:08:45 PM
"Hey Waiter! What's this fly doing in my alphabet soup?"
"Having a vowel movement."
I'm going to the region of Thud for 23 hours for improving that pun. :x
I guess I'll be right there with ya. 8)
Please don't murder us for our puns, eventually we'll crow out of them.
The bald porcupine felt that life had become rather pointless.
What is a cannibal's favorite fruit?
Quints!
I don't get that last one. :sad:
Yeah, probably a little too esoteric.
Quince -> fruit
Quints -> as in quintuplets.
It was a bit of a dud.
...Maybe. -suspicious-
The photographer figured he's be a shoo-in for the botanist job since he had much experience with photo synthesis.
I thought that disaster movie about the tornado was a bit of a dud.
I mean, you could see the twist coming from a mile away!
In a freak accident, the prisoner was killed by the hangman's gnus.