Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 09:23:09 PM

Title: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 09:23:09 PM
the juicy liquid  shit it pours out. i dont want a fucking soggy hamburger bun, alright? Is that TOO much to ask WORLD?! i would know i would have to suck it up, but come on. i have to deal with that shit all the time like at BBQ's. I dont just have a problem with the ketchup, its the bottles too. its not the design or anything like that. just sometimes people dont pay any attention to what the hell ther are doing. like the crust the ketchup makes around the cap. makes me want to vomit. the worst part of it is that no one bothers to clean the shit. so in the middle of the BBQ i'm cleaning the shit out of the fucking ketchup crusted cap.  :argh!: this is obviously a personal problem or a worldly problem.

Love and Rockets,
PZ
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:27:20 PM
now see, that's why I use tomatoes, not ketchup.  :wink:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 09:30:28 PM
i see... thanks for the advise  :kingmeh:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:35:43 PM
Ohohohoho~ No need to thank me.  :lulz:
Title: Re
Post by: Suu on June 09, 2010, 09:39:22 PM
What
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Elder Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 09:44:47 PM
-shake well before using.  solves ketchup water problem
-keep your lid clean.  solves crusty problem.  (also avoid using other uncaring ketchup user's bottles, as it seems to bother only you and me in this world)
-the taste.  can't solve it.  ketchup is only good until you discover the superiority of mustard.

the best part about the ketchup bottle is trying to explain to your young son why there is a picture of a pickle on the front of it.
(if you avoid mundane/correct answers, they will keep asking, too, it seems)
Title: Re: Re
Post by: Dimocritus on June 09, 2010, 09:47:21 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 09, 2010, 09:39:22 PM
What
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:47:46 PM
A pickle you say?
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on June 09, 2010, 09:48:55 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 09:23:09 PM
the juicy liquid  shit it pours out. i dont want a fucking soggy hamburger bun, alright? Is that TOO much to ask WORLD?! i would know i would have to suck it up, but come on. i have to deal with that shit all the time like at BBQ's. I dont just have a problem with the ketchup, its the bottles too. its not the design or anything like that. just sometimes people dont pay any attention to what the hell ther are doing. like the crust the ketchup makes around the cap. makes me want to vomit. the worst part of it is that no one bothers to clean the shit. so in the middle of the BBQ i'm cleaning the shit out of the fucking ketchup crusted cap.  :argh!: this is obviously a personal problem or a worldly problem.

Love and Rockets,
PZ

If you shake the bottle first, the watery stuff won't come out.

Also, you can use the ketchup bottles that have the lid on the bottom, that helps.

(http://sportskate.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/heinz-ketchup1.jpg)
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 09:53:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 09:44:47 PM

the best part about the ketchup bottle is trying to explain to your young son why there is a picture of a pickle on the front of it.


a pickle? thats interesting
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:57:36 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 09:53:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 09:44:47 PM

the best part about the ketchup bottle is trying to explain to your young son why there is a picture of a pickle on the front of it.


a pickle? thats interesting

I'd also like to know what business a pickle has on a ketchup bottle too. Are the pickle and tomato lovers?
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 10:00:09 PM
Quote from: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:57:36 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 09:53:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 09:44:47 PM

the best part about the ketchup bottle is trying to explain to your young son why there is a picture of a pickle on the front of it.


a pickle? thats interesting

I'd also like to know what business a pickle has on a ketchup bottle too. Are the pickle and tomato lovers?

Secret lovers thats forbidden in the food world how sad.  :cry:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 10:05:44 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 10:00:09 PM
Quote from: ThatGreenGentleman on June 09, 2010, 09:57:36 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 09:53:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 09:44:47 PM

the best part about the ketchup bottle is trying to explain to your young son why there is a picture of a pickle on the front of it.


a pickle? thats interesting

I'd also like to know what business a pickle has on a ketchup bottle too. Are the pickle and tomato lovers?

Secret lovers thats forbidden in the food world how sad.  :cry:

It is. It's like soap operas, except a hell of a lot more interesting.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 09, 2010, 10:19:13 PM
What the hell is this shit.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 09, 2010, 10:21:26 PM
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on June 09, 2010, 10:19:13 PM
What the hell is this shit.
[/quote

This "shit" is personal against ketchup problems i'm having thank you very much.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Elder Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 10:24:14 PM
i just looked at my ketchup bottles and noticed that they have recently removed the pickle!
:argh!:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on June 09, 2010, 10:50:18 PM
Use salsa....

Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Adios on June 09, 2010, 11:25:49 PM
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on June 09, 2010, 10:19:13 PM
What the hell is this shit.

Fukin kids.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Iason Ouabache on June 09, 2010, 11:47:23 PM
I like mustard water (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSFNI5ehj6E) better.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 10, 2010, 12:11:29 AM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 10:21:26 PM
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on June 09, 2010, 10:19:13 PM
What the hell is this shit.

This "shit" is personal against ketchup problems i'm having thank you very much.  :mrgreen:

This is how you quote.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 10, 2010, 09:45:32 AM
Quote from: Iptuous on June 09, 2010, 10:24:14 PM
i just looked at my ketchup bottles and noticed that they have recently removed the pickle!
:argh!:

Poor poor pickle.  :cry:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 10:53:31 AM
Forget about the pickle.  Where are the other 56 recipes? 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 01:13:00 PM
I think your problem is that you're using ketchup, while you should be using catsup.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 01:25:41 PM
Barbecue Sauce is superior on a burger anyway.  I recommend Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ.  Especially with some grilled onions and red pepper.  Good stuff!
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: hooplala on June 10, 2010, 02:17:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 01:13:00 PM
I think your problem is that you're using ketchup, while you should be using catsup.

this
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Suu on June 10, 2010, 02:20:15 PM
Ranch dressing or GTFO.

Ranch on burgers, pizza, fries, wings, and sometimes salad.


-Suu
Sometimes so Floridian she shits alligators. Mmm...Fried gator tail in ranch...
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 10, 2010, 02:25:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 10, 2010, 02:20:15 PM
Ranch dressing or GTFO.

Ranch on burgers, pizza, fries, wings, and sometimes salad.


-Suu
Sometimes so Floridian she shits alligators. Mmm...Fried gator tail in ranch...

My keyboardist does this too, especially with pizza
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on June 10, 2010, 02:54:47 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 10, 2010, 02:25:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 10, 2010, 02:20:15 PM
Ranch dressing or GTFO.

Ranch on burgers, pizza, fries, wings, and sometimes salad.


-Suu
Sometimes so Floridian she shits alligators. Mmm...Fried gator tail in ranch...

My keyboardist does this too, especially with pizza

Yah, we do too, ranch and hot sauce are the biggest condiments in my house.  Always have been.  I don't eat it on pizza but the kids do.  Spaghetti, mac n cheese, toasted ravioli, just about everything....
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on June 10, 2010, 02:57:52 PM
BBQ sauce, or caesar dressing or GTFO.

Wholegrain mustard is also awesome.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 02:59:25 PM
ROASTED TOMATO COMPOTE, BITCHES.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 10, 2010, 03:00:29 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 10, 2010, 02:54:47 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 10, 2010, 02:25:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 10, 2010, 02:20:15 PM
Ranch dressing or GTFO.

Ranch on burgers, pizza, fries, wings, and sometimes salad.


-Suu
Sometimes so Floridian she shits alligators. Mmm...Fried gator tail in ranch...

My keyboardist does this too, especially with pizza

Yah, we do too, ranch and hot sauce are the biggest condiments in my house.  Always have been.  I don't eat it on pizza but the kids do.  Spaghetti, mac n cheese, toasted ravioli, just about everything....

Definitely down with the hot sauce. The hotter, the better. Also a fan of A1 or HP.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 03:39:08 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on June 10, 2010, 02:17:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 01:13:00 PM
I think your problem is that you're using ketchup, while you should be using catsup.

this

eh? :?

I tried looking it up, but wikipedia lists catsup and ketchup as synonyms?

Is there a difference?



either way, ketchup is awesome. other sauces too, but ketchup is damn awesome.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 03:46:15 PM
It was a joke.  Some people have a spelling preference, and get bothered when you use the one they don't like.


I'm not one of those people, I was just trying for a but of funnay.

Guess it didn't work.   :|
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 03:48:28 PM
It is really confusing when you are a young lad growing up near the Canadian border.  The commercials on American TV calling it ketchup and the commercials on Canadian TV calling it catsup.  I didn't know who to believe.   :x
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: hooplala on June 10, 2010, 03:49:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 03:46:15 PM
It was a joke.  Some people have a spelling preference, and get bothered when you use the one they don't like.


I'm not one of those people, I was just trying for a but of funnay.

Guess it didn't work.   :|

I disagree.  It made me laugh.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 03:53:11 PM
Trip is just a little be-heinz on his global condiment knowledge.  He needs to play ketchup. 

:rimshot: 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 04:16:47 PM
Why all the condiment elitism? Ketchup has a place on the condiment shelf. Diversity is good!
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 10, 2010, 04:34:48 PM
Three pages for ketchup, eh? Personally, I refuse to eat it. It's serf food. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, anything but ketchup.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 04:36:21 PM
Quote from: dimo on June 10, 2010, 04:34:48 PM
Three pages for ketchup, eh? Personally, I refuse to eat it. It's serf food. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, anything but ketchup.

Classist!  :argh!:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 04:39:17 PM
Quote from: dimo on June 10, 2010, 04:34:48 PM
Three pages for ketchup, eh? Personally, I refuse to eat it. It's serf food. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, anything but ketchup.

Nah, I think ketchup is more for terf food.  Tartar sauce is more in line for serf food. 

Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 04:40:45 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 03:46:15 PM
It was a joke.  Some people have a spelling preference, and get bothered when you use the one they don't like.


I'm not one of those people, I was just trying for a but of funnay.

Guess it didn't work.   :|

I DIDNT KNOW

IM SORRY

HA HA HA HA HA

SEE? IM RETRO ACTIVELY LAUGHING TO MAKE UP FOR IT

HA HA
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 10, 2010, 04:41:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 04:36:21 PM
Quote from: dimo on June 10, 2010, 04:34:48 PM
Three pages for ketchup, eh? Personally, I refuse to eat it. It's serf food. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, anything but ketchup.

Classist!  :argh!:

:lulz: Troof be told, I will eat ketchup on fast food burgers because I don't want to run the risk of them fucking up my order by making a special request. Simple things can really screw with the minds of (some) fast-food workers.

Quote from: RWHN on June 10, 2010, 04:39:17 PM
Quote from: dimo on June 10, 2010, 04:34:48 PM
Three pages for ketchup, eh? Personally, I refuse to eat it. It's serf food. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, anything but ketchup.

Nah, I think ketchup is more for terf food.  Tartar sauce is more in line for serf food. 



:|
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 04:42:19 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 04:40:45 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 03:46:15 PM
It was a joke.  Some people have a spelling preference, and get bothered when you use the one they don't like.


I'm not one of those people, I was just trying for a but of funnay.

Guess it didn't work.   :|

I DIDNT KNOW

IM SORRY

HA HA HA HA HA

SEE? IM RETRO ACTIVELY LAUGHING TO MAKE UP FOR IT

HA HA

CAN IT, DUTCHSPAG.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2010, 05:02:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 02:59:25 PM
ROASTED TOMATO COMPOTE, BITCHES.

Why would you ruin delicious savory roasted tomatoes with sugar syrup?!?!
:x :x :x

Also we put Crystal sauce on everything. or sriracha if we're out of that.
Personally I like chipotles or chipotle mayo on a burger. It tastes good with the meat.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 05:05:59 PM
What is Crystal sauce?  
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:06:34 PM
A kind of hot sauce.  Sort of a Franks-meets-Tobasco kind of thing.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2010, 05:12:42 PM
Ah, gotcha.  Always looking for new things to put on burgers.  It's pretty much a staple in the summer. 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2010, 05:19:33 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.

where does the "compote" part come in?  :?
sounds more like a tapenade of sorts. delicious delicious tapenade

RWHN- Crystal is like a not hot tobasco. It's more vinegary. It's what we southern ladies carry around in our handbags to put on fried chicken.

Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:13:49 PM
Well, tapenade is primarily olives, and a compote is slowly stewed fruit, and tomato is a fruit, so...



Anyway, Franks Red Hot is a sour hot sauce (the basis for Buffalo wings), and crystal is a little less sour and a little sharper heat, so I think the Franks-meets-Tobasco comparison works.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2010, 06:22:55 PM
I've never had Franks. I don't think I've seen it down here in the swamp.

Roasted tomato just didn't sound good stewed in syrup. But whatever the hell it is you mentioned with mirepoix, anchovy and olives sounded damn good.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 10, 2010, 06:32:10 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

Nah, the fun is in varying the condiments from occasion to occasion.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:34:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.


:lulz:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:37:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:13:49 PM
Well, tapenade is primarily olives, and a compote is slowly stewed fruit, and tomato is a fruit, so...



Anyway, Franks Red Hot is a sour hot sauce (the basis for Buffalo wings), and crystal is a little less sour and a little sharper heat, so I think the Franks-meets-Tobasco comparison works.

IME compote is fruit stewed with sugar. Very sweet (too sweet for me typically) and traditionally served as a dessert, often with cake and cream.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:38:20 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:34:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.


:lulz:

Your turn!

Also, on the (sort of) subject of tapenades, have you ever done an olive, mushroom, and dried tomato tapenade? Holy fuckballs! Good on anything.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:44:51 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:37:02 PM
IME compote is fruit stewed with sugar. Very sweet (too sweet for me typically) and traditionally served as a dessert, often with cake and cream.

Yeah, yeah.

"Savory Roasted Tomato Reduction," then.

Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:38:20 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:34:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.


:lulz:

Your turn!

You peasants.  I only eat a burger if it is stuffed with imported Boursin cheese from Normandy, topped with lightly seared foie gras, and graced with heriloom red bell peppers that have been slow roasted over a natural-chunk charcoal by a young boy named Philippe.


QuoteAlso, on the (sort of) subject of tapenades, have you ever done an olive, mushroom, and dried tomato tapenade? Holy fuckballs! Good on anything.

Sun dried tomatoes do odd things to my lower intestines, but that does sound pretty damn good.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on June 10, 2010, 07:14:13 PM
I like tomato and chilli chutney.

Its tasty.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 07:16:20 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

I only eat burgers made from skin lesions.

They are the douchiest of them all.

I call them ... "weltburgers"
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 07:31:36 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:44:51 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:37:02 PM
IME compote is fruit stewed with sugar. Very sweet (too sweet for me typically) and traditionally served as a dessert, often with cake and cream.

Yeah, yeah.

"Savory Roasted Tomato Reduction," then.

Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:38:20 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:34:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.


:lulz:

Your turn!

You peasants.  I only eat a burger if it is stuffed with imported Boursin cheese from Normandy, topped with lightly seared foie gras, and graced with heriloom red bell peppers that have been slow roasted over a natural-chunk charcoal by a young boy named Philippe.


QuoteAlso, on the (sort of) subject of tapenades, have you ever done an olive, mushroom, and dried tomato tapenade? Holy fuckballs! Good on anything.

Sun dried tomatoes do odd things to my lower intestines, but that does sound pretty damn good.

:lulz:

Perhaps oddly, I hate sun-dried tomatoes passionately, while I really like regular dried tomatoes.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 10, 2010, 07:32:39 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 07:16:20 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

I only eat burgers made from skin lesions.

They are the douchiest of them all.

I call them ... "weltburgers"

:vom:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 10, 2010, 07:33:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 07:16:20 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

I only eat burgers made from skin lesions.

They are the douchiest of them all.

I call them ... "weltburgers"

:lulz:

Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Iason Ouabache on June 10, 2010, 07:47:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 
I have a coworker that practically drinks that stuff. He goes through one of the big bottles in about a week.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 10, 2010, 08:17:41 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on June 10, 2010, 07:47:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 
I have a coworker that practically drinks that stuff. He goes through one of the big bottles in about a week.

Yeah, I can see that. It's not that hot, more vinegary. I have to put almost a half bottle on my pizza to even taste it...
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2010, 09:58:21 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 

Can you get Crystal up there? If not, I'll trade ya.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2010, 09:58:44 PM
Quote from: dimo on June 10, 2010, 07:33:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 07:16:20 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

I only eat burgers made from skin lesions.

They are the douchiest of them all.

I call them ... "weltburgers"

:lulz:



Also  :lulz:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 10, 2010, 11:27:12 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 10, 2010, 07:16:20 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 10, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
I am wondering who can get most douchey in their condimentary requirements.

For example, I simply can't eat a burger (fresh-ground eye of round, of course) without a sauce comprised of homegrown roasted tomatoes, fresh curly chervil, and smoked yellow peppers, sweetened with a touch of plum wine and reduced. Naturally.

I only eat burgers made from skin lesions.

They are the douchiest of them all.

I call them ... "weltburgers"

:x
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 11, 2010, 12:37:04 AM
Oh, and I will only eat a burger if it has been farted upon by French royalty, then placed on a lazy susan and spun exactly 3.14 times in a counterclockwise motion and topped with micro greens, beluga caviar and the extracted adrenaline from an endangered black rhino.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 11, 2010, 02:57:30 AM
I will only eat a burger if it's made from the flesh of virgins, garnished with four-leaf clovers, and grilled by the light of a waxing moon.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 11, 2010, 05:27:21 AM
PD.com - now with 5+ pages of ketchup  :|


Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 11, 2010, 12:37:04 AM
Oh, and I will only eat a burger if it has been farted upon by French royalty, then placed on a lazy susan and spun exactly 3.14 times in a counterclockwise motion and topped with micro greens, beluga caviar and the extracted adrenaline from an endangered black rhino.

Plus,  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 11, 2010, 05:42:19 AM
15 PAGES OR BUST!  :argh!:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Juana on June 11, 2010, 06:08:25 AM
I will only eat boca burgers with fresh made mango salsa, guacamole made from avocados I picked myself, and pickles made by Spanish maidens.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 11, 2010, 06:18:50 AM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on June 09, 2010, 09:23:09 PM
the juicy liquid  shit it pours out. i dont want a fucking soggy hamburger bun, alright? Is that TOO much to ask WORLD?! i would know i would have to suck it up, but come on. i have to deal with that shit all the time like at BBQ's. I dont just have a problem with the ketchup, its the bottles too. its not the design or anything like that. just sometimes people dont pay any attention to what the hell ther are doing. like the crust the ketchup makes around the cap. makes me want to vomit. the worst part of it is that no one bothers to clean the shit. so in the middle of the BBQ i'm cleaning the shit out of the fucking ketchup crusted cap.  :argh!: this is obviously a personal problem or a worldly problem.

Love and Rockets,
PZ

Yes, but what other container can produce such sickeningly accurate shart noises?
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Jasper on June 11, 2010, 06:46:34 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 11, 2010, 06:08:25 AM
I will only eat boca burgers with fresh made mango salsa, guacamole made from avocados I picked myself, and pickles made by Spanish maidens.

I will eat ANY hamburger.

I don't care the meat is shitty, and I don't even mind if there's no mustard. 

I fucking love hamburgers.

Just don't forget to toast the bun.  That's kind of a deal breaker.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: KittehAmazing on June 11, 2010, 07:25:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 11, 2010, 06:08:25 AM
I will only eat boca burgers with fresh made mango salsa, guacamole made from avocados I picked myself, and pickles made by Spanish maidens.

well done,my props to ze chef.  :lulz:
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Dimocritus on June 11, 2010, 12:29:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 11, 2010, 05:42:19 AM
15 PAGES OR BUST!  :argh!:

YES WE CAN!
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 01:15:06 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 10, 2010, 09:58:21 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 

Can you get Crystal up there? If not, I'll trade ya.

I think I still have your address.  Stay tuned...
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 11, 2010, 01:20:01 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 11, 2010, 06:46:34 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 11, 2010, 06:08:25 AM
I will only eat boca burgers with fresh made mango salsa, guacamole made from avocados I picked myself, and pickles made by Spanish maidens.

I will eat ANY hamburger.

I don't care the meat is shitty, and I don't even mind if there's no mustard. 

I fucking love hamburgers.

Just don't forget to toast the bun.  That's kind of a deal breaker.

Yes.  169% Troof. 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:31:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.

Squid's got you on this one. It's not a compote unless you add some sugar.

what you're describing would be better labeled as.....ketchup.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 02:34:40 PM
feh.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:35:13 PM
also, you fucking heathens, you STEAM the bun.

STEAM.

or GTFO.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 02:41:08 PM
Wha?

Ew.

I mean, I've eaten steamed hot dog buns (:fnord:), but hamburger buns?  I'm not seeing that.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 11, 2010, 02:45:03 PM
Yeah, steamed buns/rolls are great for hot dogs, though, toasted is pretty good too when its the frankfurter-style.

But for burgers, toasted is the way to go.  Otherwise they get too mushy between the burger juices and condiments. 

Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 11, 2010, 02:46:14 PM
Also, this discussion has made it a certainty that burgers are on the menu tonight. 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 11, 2010, 03:52:09 PM
damn i want a big sloppy burger

the kind where juicy stuff runs down your arms to your elbows
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 03:59:31 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 11, 2010, 03:52:09 PM
damn i want a big sloppy burger

the kind where juicy stuff runs down your arms to your elbows


:lmnuendo:


I'm pretty sure there's one in there somewhere.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 11, 2010, 04:08:36 PM
 :lol:  i kind of set myself up a lot
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 11, 2010, 04:39:19 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:35:13 PM
also, you fucking heathens, you STEAM the bun.

STEAM.

or GTFO.

I am deeply disturbed by the idea of a steamed hamburger bun. Properly, they should be buttered and grilled.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Adios on June 11, 2010, 04:43:01 PM
This thread gives me heartburn.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 11, 2010, 04:57:29 PM
I want a hamburger.

With ketchup.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 11, 2010, 05:11:05 PM
NO! It's tomato compote!!
::runs::
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 11, 2010, 05:24:59 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 11, 2010, 04:57:29 PM
I want a hamburger.

With ketchup.

I'm going to have a bacon double cheeseburger with ketchup AND mustard.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: MMIX on June 11, 2010, 05:25:26 PM
maybe you should get your compote from Wiki 'cos they say its
QuotePolish heroin (also kompot and compote) is a crude preparation of heroin made from poppy straw.


. . . except RWHN, you might want to stick to the fruit and sugar version . . .
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: AFK on June 11, 2010, 05:35:11 PM
That's something you won't see on Iron Chef America. 
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Jasper on June 11, 2010, 08:02:48 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 11, 2010, 04:39:19 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:35:13 PM
also, you fucking heathens, you STEAM the bun.

STEAM.

or GTFO.

I am deeply disturbed by the idea of a steamed hamburger bun. Properly, they should be buttered and grilled.

If I'm feeling particularly in touch with my inner fat kid, I like to fry the bun in the pan grease.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Chairman Risus on June 11, 2010, 08:15:14 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 

What? No, we have this.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 08:19:27 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:31:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.

Squid's got you on this one. It's not a compote unless you add some sugar.

what you're describing would be better labeled as.....ketchup.

Further thinking makes me realize that most available ketchups have added sugar...


Now what?
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: MMIX on June 11, 2010, 08:30:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 08:19:27 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:31:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.

Squid's got you on this one. It's not a compote unless you add some sugar.

what you're describing would be better labeled as.....ketchup.

Further thinking makes me realize that most available ketchups have added sugar...


Now what?

well, obviously . . . THIS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc_rQYlb7EY
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 11, 2010, 09:03:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 11, 2010, 08:19:27 PM
Quote from: Exit City Hustle on June 11, 2010, 02:31:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 05:05:22 PM
No, no no.


Sweat miripoix, add tomatoes and olives, a little anchovy paste for depth, and then cook it down until most of the liquid is gone.

Squid's got you on this one. It's not a compote unless you add some sugar.

what you're describing would be better labeled as.....ketchup.

Further thinking makes me realize that most available ketchups have added sugar...


Now what?

Ketchup is one of the best ways to eat high fructose corn syrup.  Mmmm delicious diabetes sauce.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Bruno on June 11, 2010, 10:30:36 PM
Quote from: Risus on June 11, 2010, 08:15:14 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 

What? No, we have this.

I can also confirm this. I've bought it at Kroger and Foodland, and Hardee's featured it recently on one of their speciality chicken sandwiches which I prepared when I worked there.

PEDANT ALERT!!

BUT, he didn't say "sold" he said "made" and nobody knows where Frank's Red Hot is made.
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 11, 2010, 10:45:48 PM
I have never seen it.
I will look harder!

Also, LMNO... IT'S KETCHUP/CATSUP!

(come on, how often do I get to outsmart you. gimme this one fucking thing)
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Iason Ouabache on June 12, 2010, 04:00:43 AM
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on June 11, 2010, 10:30:36 PM
Quote from: Risus on June 11, 2010, 08:15:14 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 10, 2010, 06:25:30 PM
Looks like this:

(http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce-12oz-bottle-639-p.jpg)

I'm pretty sure they don't make it south of the mason-dixon.  I'd prefer Crystal, though. 

What? No, we have this.

I can also confirm this. I've bought it at Kroger and Foodland, and Hardee's featured it recently on one of their speciality chicken sandwiches which I prepared when I worked there.

PEDANT ALERT!!

BUT, he didn't say "sold" he said "made" and nobody knows where Frank's Red Hot is made.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank's_Red_Hot

QuoteFrank's is produced in Springfield MO, in the same facility that manufactures French's mustard.

See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Title: Re: the ketchup issue is...
Post by: Bruno on June 12, 2010, 04:32:36 AM
Well, there goes my theory that if you can't find something on the internet in under 3 minutes, then it is completely unknown to all of humanity.