Having problems? Want to make them worse? Or, is everything ok, but you can't help yourself from making a mess out of everything? Well, Cuddlefish is here to help. Ask me anything, and I'll do my best to give you the absolute worst advice available! Trust me. I do this all the time, and not only am I the TC, I'm also a client!
Cuddlefish:
my date is standing me up tonight. What do I do?
My university changed the schedule of one of my required classes an hour earlier in the day. It now starts at 7:25 am on Mon, Wed, and Fri.
How do I cope with this?
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 15, 2010, 01:39:38 AM
Cuddlefish:
my date is standing me up tonight. What do I do?
Drink a handle bottle of cheap vodka. Go to his house. Wait outside 'till he arrives. When he gets home, let the spirit move you.
Quote from: Cainad on August 15, 2010, 01:40:52 AM
My university changed the schedule of one of my required classes an hour earlier in the day. It now starts at 7:25 am on Mon, Wed, and Fri.
How do I cope with this?
Drugs.
Many of my good friends are moving to Europe, I however am halfway through a degree and unemployed. What should I do?
@Cainad:
7:25!?
:vom:
I thought I had it bad having classes at 830
Quote from: Rumckle on August 15, 2010, 01:48:07 AM
Many of my good friends are moving to Europe, I however am halfway through a degree and unemployed. What should I do?
Well, it seems to me, you are halfway there. If you're unemployed, just quit school, then you'll be all freed up to go to Europe (not sure what makes you want to go there in the first place. Never been myself, but I get the feeling they have a very unamerican way of life out there...).
Do your parents have money? Con them out of it and go. If not, doctors have a lot of money. Con a doctor. Or a lawyer. Just make sure you can quickly find a job when you get out there. I hear kidnapping tourists and harvesting there organs on the black market is pretty profitable, not to mentioned vastly underregulated.
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
I find this video very amusing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=encZArh2wrY&feature=related
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 02:06:26 AM
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
Embrace your sexuality.
Quote from: LordOfganza on August 15, 2010, 02:48:08 AM
I find this video very amusing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=encZArh2wrY&feature=related
I don't see a problem here :?
I want to murder my car and piss on it's corpse after I'm done with it.
What's the best way of going about this?
Quote from: Alty on August 15, 2010, 02:57:39 AM
I want to murder my car and piss on it's corpse after I'm done with it.
What's the best way of going about this?
Suicide by cop after a high speed car chase. Your bladder will release itself at death.
I'm moving back into my college dorm tomorrow morning. How do I make this less boring?
Quote from: Vartox on August 15, 2010, 03:10:38 AM
I'm moving back into my college dorm tomorrow morning. How do I make this less boring?
I find that drinking, drugs and/or violence tend to make things more exciting.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 15, 2010, 03:04:42 AM
Quote from: Alty on August 15, 2010, 02:57:39 AM
I want to murder my car and piss on it's corpse after I'm done with it.
What's the best way of going about this?
Suicide by cop after a high speed car chase. Your bladder will release itself at death.
Brilliant!
Brb, I'm gonna be on the TEEVEE.
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 02:06:26 AM
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
The sofa scene was pretty hot.
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 15, 2010, 04:49:11 AM
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 02:06:26 AM
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
The sofa scene was pretty hot.
I know. I cant help it, that machine...
Its like a giant metallic vagina of death.
I want to stick my cock in it.
Just the tip.
Just to see how it feels.
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 05:01:04 AM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 15, 2010, 04:49:11 AM
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 02:06:26 AM
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
The sofa scene was pretty hot.
I know. I cant help it, that machine...
Its like a giant metallic vagina of death.
I want to stick my cock in it.
Just the tip.
Just to see how it feels.
Reminds me of my ex-wife.
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 15, 2010, 05:03:20 AM
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 05:01:04 AM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 15, 2010, 04:49:11 AM
Quote from: Kingderp on August 15, 2010, 02:06:26 AM
I find myself sexually aroused by this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aja7gcgRMJU&feature=related
The sofa scene was pretty hot.
I know. I cant help it, that machine...
Its like a giant metallic vagina of death.
I want to stick my cock in it.
Just the tip.
Just to see how it feels.
Reminds me of my ex-wife.
:lulz:
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 15, 2010, 01:43:13 AM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 15, 2010, 01:39:38 AM
Cuddlefish:
my date is standing me up tonight. What do I do?
Drink a handle bottle of cheap vodka. Go to his house. Wait outside 'till he arrives. When he gets home, let the spirit move you.
:lulz:
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 04:42:20 AM
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
How much money does he owe you? Steal the vodka and send it to me. I'll let you know if it's an even trade-off.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:34:44 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 04:42:20 AM
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
How much money does he owe you? Steal the vodka and send it to me. I'll let you know if it's an even trade-off.
Alright, it's on the way now.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 05:37:08 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:34:44 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 04:42:20 AM
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
How much money does he owe you? Steal the vodka and send it to me. I'll let you know if it's an even trade-off.
Alright, it's on the way now.
Right now? Hold on... *checks e-mail*...
E-Vodka?!?! Why, you little... :argh!:
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:41:07 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 05:37:08 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:34:44 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 04:42:20 AM
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
How much money does he owe you? Steal the vodka and send it to me. I'll let you know if it's an even trade-off.
Alright, it's on the way now.
Right now? Hold on... *checks e-mail*...
E-Vodka?!?! Why, you little... :argh!:
I heard if you run it through your spam filter a few times it tastes like better quality vodka.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on August 16, 2010, 07:08:39 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:41:07 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 05:37:08 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 16, 2010, 05:34:44 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on August 16, 2010, 04:42:20 AM
I'm on the fence of whether or not to steal the last two shots of vodka from my roommate who owes me money. Sway my decision! :evil:
How much money does he owe you? Steal the vodka and send it to me. I'll let you know if it's an even trade-off.
Alright, it's on the way now.
Right now? Hold on... *checks e-mail*...
E-Vodka?!?! Why, you little... :argh!:
I heard if you run it through your spam filter a few times it tastes like better quality vodka.
:lulz:
I've been wondering: Should I fuck with Wu-Tang Clan?
On a related note, should I step to Chef?
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=26124.msg912557#msg912557
Should I tug on Superman's cape?
Should I spit into the wind?
Should I pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger?
And should I mess around with Jim?
Quote from: Nick Dipples on August 16, 2010, 08:45:55 PM
I've been wondering: Should I fuck with Wu-Tang Clan?
While it's been said that the Wu-Tang clan aint nothin' to fuck wit, I say go for it. Just make sure you protec ya' neck.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2010, 09:07:09 PM
Should I tug on Superman's cape?
Yes.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2010, 09:07:09 PM
Should I spit into the wind?
Yes.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2010, 09:07:09 PM
Should I pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger?
Yes.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 16, 2010, 09:07:09 PM
And should I mess around with Jim?
Depends. Is your name Willie "Slim" Mcoy?
Fuck it, either way, go cut him up.
The pure stupidity of the community center mosque being built a few blocks at ground zero bullshit debate makes me want to jump out a window... is that normal?
quick - come up with an ad campaign I can sell to a flower shop
How much rum should I drink tonight?
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:11:13 AM
How much rum should I drink tonight?
The whole thing. "Accidentally", of course.
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 17, 2010, 09:16:21 PM
The pure stupidity of the community center mosque being built a few blocks at ground zero bullshit debate makes me want to jump out a window... is that normal?
This is normal. I suggest, however, if you were to jump out of a window because od this, you should do so strapped with explosives, with a parachute, wearing an american flag as a cape shouting "jihad!"
Quote from: Cramulus on August 17, 2010, 09:29:35 PM
quick - come up with an ad campaign I can sell to a flower shop
Well, I have a few slogans that just happened to be laying around from the last time this came up.
"Nothing says 'I love you' like rotting yard waste"
"If being yourself can't get you laid, try this!"
"Hmmmmmm! Smells like fresh... eww, what the fuck is this?"
"Fuck you. Buy flowers"
"Free prescription for Phenylpropanolamine with every purchase!"
If the slogans don't work out, you can always write a really annoying jingle. People hate that.
My wife won't let me pun in the bedroom. What should I do?
When I ride my bicycle, my penises rub together and chafe. What can I do?
Should I mix bleach, orange clean and ammonia to clean my bathroom?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 18, 2010, 01:24:04 PM
My wife won't let me pun in the bedroom. What should I do?
Intercourse of time, she will come to understand. But, don't dick her around, oral hope will be lost.
Quote from: BadBeast on August 18, 2010, 04:21:48 PM
When I ride my bicycle, my penises rub together and chafe. What can I do?
Take the seat off and ride the pole.
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 18, 2010, 04:29:58 PM
Should I mix bleach, orange clean and ammonia to clean my bathroom?
No. If it's bad enough to warrant drastic measures, I suggest you clean your bathroom with a grenade.
I'm watching the entire board spend days responding to troll threads.
Should I accidentally?
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 04:34:14 PM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 18, 2010, 04:29:58 PM
Should I mix bleach, orange clean and ammonia to clean my bathroom?
No. If it's bad enough to warrant drastic measures, I suggest you clean your bathroom with a grenade.
Thread delivers!
(It's actually not that bad, I'm just chemical crazy.)
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 18, 2010, 04:35:53 PM
I'm watching the entire board spend days responding to troll threads.
Should I accidentally?
All signs point to yes.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 04:38:14 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 18, 2010, 04:35:53 PM
I'm watching the entire board spend days responding to troll threads.
Should I accidentally?
All signs point to yes.
Well, okay. No whining later.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 04:32:06 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 18, 2010, 04:21:48 PM
When I ride my bicycle, my penises rub together and chafe. What can I do?
Take the seat off and ride the pole.
That's much better. Now, the resulting state of arousal means no more "chafe" for me.
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 18, 2010, 04:36:57 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 04:34:14 PM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 18, 2010, 04:29:58 PM
Should I mix bleach, orange clean and ammonia to clean my bathroom?
No. If it's bad enough to warrant drastic measures, I suggest you clean your bathroom with a grenade.
Thread delivers!
What did you expect? After all, I
am a
holy man man of science shithead.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 07:08:03 AM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:11:13 AM
How much rum should I drink tonight?
The whole thing. "Accidentally", of course.
:banana::banana::banana::banana::banana:
also
are you a CUDDLY cuddlefish?
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:09:30 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 07:08:03 AM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:11:13 AM
How much rum should I drink tonight?
The whole thing. "Accidentally", of course.
:banana::banana::banana::banana::banana:
also
are you a CUDDLY cuddlefish?
Well, this is an
advice thread, but I'll answer just this one personal question.
Maybe. You could hug me, but you may feel a prick.
Prick me, do I not bleed?
Quote from: BadBeast on August 18, 2010, 05:39:20 PM
Prick me, do I not bleed?
Only one way to find out...
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 05:45:01 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on August 18, 2010, 05:39:20 PM
Prick me, do I not bleed?
Only one way to find out...
You keep away from me with that thing. You'll have someone's eye out!
Dear Cuddlefish,
I accidentally my whole apartment with the grenade. What should I do?
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 18, 2010, 06:28:23 PM
Dear Cuddlefish,
I accidentally my whole apartment with the grenade. What should I do?
Invade the neighbors.
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 05:21:34 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:09:30 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefish on August 18, 2010, 07:08:03 AM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on August 18, 2010, 05:11:13 AM
How much rum should I drink tonight?
The whole thing. "Accidentally", of course.
:banana::banana::banana::banana::banana:
also
are you a CUDDLY cuddlefish?
Well, this is an advice thread, but I'll answer just this one personal question.
Maybe. You could hug me, but you may feel a prick.
:lmnuendo: