Time to subject myself to another piece of movie magic based on Stephanie Meyer's totally awesome novels!
It has been said that this is one of the rare cases where the movie actually is better than the book. However, I find myself in the unfortunate position of being completely unable to forget that I did, in fact, read the books.
I cannot tell you how close I was to going to a twilight convention this weekend.
The girlfriend and I are celebrating our third year together, and wanted an excuse to go get a hotel somewhere. And this is what she chose. LUCKILY I couldn't get today off from work, otherwise I'd be scoping out twihards up close and personal.
Apparently, at this convention, they couldn't book any of the actual celebrities, but they did get the hand model whose hands are on the book cover. WOO HOO!
oh oh - also, I watched the first movie with the Riff Trax (http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight), and it was fucking. hysterical.
Recommended.
Quote from: Doktor Alphapance on August 20, 2010, 02:45:33 PM
It has been said that this is one of the rare cases where the movie actually is better than the book. However, I find myself in the unfortunate position of being completely unable to forget that I did, in fact, read the books.
That is the case for
all the films, in addition to being a rather low standard in the first place. As I recall, Eclipse was actually the least horrible book of the four.
Quote from: Cramulus on August 20, 2010, 02:46:27 PM
I cannot tell you how close I was to going to a twilight convention this weekend.
The girlfriend and I are celebrating our third year together, and wanted an excuse to go get a hotel somewhere. And this is what she chose. LUCKILY I couldn't get today off from work, otherwise I'd be scoping out twihards up close and personal.
Apparently, at this convention, they couldn't book any of the actual celebrities, but they did get the hand model whose hands are on the book cover. WOO HOO!
Twihards are incredibly easy to troll in real life. I had to work with four of them, all apparently sane, functioning and intelligent adults, over the summer. A convention would turn into chaos in about three hours, with two dedicated individuals doing their best to stir it up.
:lulz: how would you go about it?
We thought of going dressed as vampire hunters with crosses and stakes, or over-the-top vampires with big capes and widows peaks and shit, but figured that gag would get old fast.
Embroiling Team Jacob and Team Edward into fights is relatively easy. For example, you can point out to the butthurt Team Jacob fans that Stephanie Myers only made him do the horrible things he did in the third book to increase sympathy for her Marty Stu vampire stalker ie because Jacob was too popular until she derailed his character entirely. And for Team Edward...well just point out that Jacob is in fact a creepy quasi-paedophile almost-rapist and apparently his fans are down with that.
A while back, I had he idea of getting one of those novelty 3-second digital recorders, and putting the "skin sparkles" sound on it, and using it in conjunction with a flashlight.
That was a really fast release to DVD.
...
*downloads*
I read the first two books and it felt like I was watching feminism being beaten to death.
It was like common sense being beaten to death.
it's like five hundred years of literature being beaten to death.
I heard that Twilight was Stephanie Meyer's first writing attempt. Prior to twilight she hadn't even written a short story. She must have been in tight with a publisher.
This is her publishing company http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little,_Brown_and_Company
QuoteThe firm initially specialized in legal treatises and imported titles.
Quote from: Cramulus on August 20, 2010, 03:48:57 PM
it's like five hundred years of literature being beaten to death.
I heard that Twilight was Stephanie Meyer's first writing attempt. Prior to twilight she hadn't even written a short story. She must have been in tight with a publisher.
I'm not surprised in the least.
Download has finished. Off to the Co-op to pick up supplies, then I shall return and heroically watch the film.
Quote from: Cain on August 20, 2010, 04:11:01 PM
Download has finished. Off to the Co-op to pick up supplies, then I shall return and heroically watch the film.
Make us proud.
Make sure you have multiple tabs of TVTropes opened up.
Christ on a stick, I forgot how the Co-op magically turns into the 9th circle of hell an hour before closing time. Also, the mountain's weather is sinister - I'm in the middle of a cloud, and storms are coming over the mountains to the south. Shame this isn't a horror film, this is the perfect ambience for it.
LMNO, I only need one TV Tropes page, and that page is WANGST.
You mean WANGST (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wangst)?
OK, I'm only two minutes in and I already have a "WTF?" moment.
Right, so this guy is being harassed by a vampire (presumably) moving at fast speed, knocking him into things, tripping him up etc. And it runs in front of him and cuts his hand, and he falls to his knees, screaming. His hand. I thought he'd been disemboweled at first, because of the angle and the screaming, but no, it turns out this vampire is just picking on a giant, quivering pussy.
:lulz: :popcorn:
He's laying on the ground, in the rain, screaming, because a superfast vampire bit his hand. Srsly.
The set up for potential drama was so good, as well.
Wow.
Hey is this the one with babbee vampires attacking Seattle orsomething?
Bella: when people my age get married, it means you got knocked up.
What Edward Should Have Said: You're fucking a VAMPIRE, an UNDEAD ABOMINATION, and you care what people think?
Edit: yes, it's the one in Seattle.
Edward actually made a funny "doesn't he [Jacob] own a shirt?"
I think this film is shaping up to be better than the previous ones, but mainly because of the Seattle vampire killings/Cullens and werewolves forced to cooperate plot pushing most of the angst into the background, by the standards of the series anyway.
Ah, these must be the bad guys now on my screen. I can tell because they are vampires, and their eyes are red, while the Cullens have golden ones (when the director remembers to tell them to put their contact lenses in - in several scenes their eye colour is entirely normal). Colour coding for your convienience, because the audience are morons.
During the beginning they have some focus on that vampire family.. the Cullens.. and guess what... that part isn't horrible.
Other then that
Jacob becomes even more of a creepy stalker.
Robert Pattinson either tries to act, or has given up on this series a long time ago.
Bella is even more of a bitch.
Still a lot of homoerotic man meat, but less then the former movie
and don't go take a piss during the epic battle cause you'll miss it.
overall. It was so boring I feel bad for people who are going to attempt to make riff tracks for it.
Quote from: Cramulus on August 20, 2010, 02:54:19 PM
:lulz: how would you go about it?
Wear a suit, stand outside convention with rainbow sign that says 'god hates goths'
Wait, that's Jasper's backstory? Goddamnit Meyer, that is far more interesting than this tripe. Why didn't you write a book about Jasper being a 19th century vampiric badass, apart from the fact it is too cool for you to ever do it justice?
The fact that he is a Civil War berserker? Yes. Very yes.
Alice's boyfriend/adopted brother. The blonde one.
I know...I know...
This one
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000949966/Jasper_twilight_series_2828569_300__answer_2_xlarge.jpeg)
Is it bad that I like the Twilight books and movies? They are the greatest comedies since forever AND EVER.
Samuel Clemens is rolling in his grave right now.
Yes. He has the coolest backstory out of all the vampires, the coolest experiences...and he's just a supporting character. :argh!:
Quote from: Doktor Princess on August 21, 2010, 11:28:07 AM
Yes. He has the coolest backstory out of all the vampires, the coolest experiences...and he's just a supporting character. :argh!:
To be fair all the supporting characters are cooler and more interesting then the main characters...
and to be fair to that a dead fly is cooler and more interesting then the main characters
I think it says something about an author's priorities when the biggest badass with the most interesting backstory is a supporting character and the main character is the shallow love interest.
Didn't she divorce her first husband?
Quote from: Cramulus on August 20, 2010, 02:48:23 PM
oh oh - also, I watched the first movie with the Riff Trax (http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight), and it was fucking. hysterical.
Recommended.
Oh sounds like a plan :) I still haven't watched any of this stuff.
You can get quite a bit of rifftrax-ed movies pre-mixed as AVI via the torrents btw. Which is morally wrong.
Quote from: Triple Zero on August 22, 2010, 08:49:52 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on August 20, 2010, 02:48:23 PM
oh oh - also, I watched the first movie with the Riff Trax (http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight), and it was fucking. hysterical.
Recommended.
Oh sounds like a plan :) I still haven't watched any of this stuff.
You can get quite a bit of rifftrax-ed movies pre-mixed as AVI via the torrents btw. Which is morally wrong.
I am watching this now, and the first half is
still bloody awful! It reminds me of some of the worst MST3K eps that were horrible not because of the riffing gone bad, but because the movie was just that bad, not even the MST3K crew could save it. Part of the charm of the series, that was, of course.
But about halfway through or so, the gut-wrenchingly awkward human grl meets vampire boi reluctant looking-away circling around sort of drops a littlebit and you get vampire family fun happy cuisine cooking and baseball and it becomes enjoyable again [thanks to the rifftrax of course].
And the part where the rifftrax guy sings over Edward's piano playing is ... just brilliant :lulz: