Title says it all
Feel free to repost your clown jokes in here, as inspiration for those who come behind you.
Quote from: Prince Peon on September 08, 2010, 09:18:09 PM
I was first to complete a quest? I found 25 clown jokes and aswered 5 random, fairly difficult questions.
Yeah, I made that condition up on the fly.
I'm not sure what the fuck is going on here, but I want in.
Nigel's quest was trying but, I have not tried, I have done.
1What do you call a garbageman who has married milkmen beside him?
A Communist!
2What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
A Cancer!
3What did the black kid get for his birthday???
A Your bicycle.
4 What's the difference between trampolines and babies?
A When you jump on a trampoline you take your shoes off.
5 I'm about 4 inches long, with some hair near my end. While I'm
being used, a white, creamy substance appears on my end, and i
am forced into a dark hole and thrusted back and forth in little
circles, do you know what I am?
A I'm a toothbrush!! I know what you were thinking, you sick
person.
6 How do you get a 96 year old lady to say fuck?
A Get another one to scream bingo.
7 What has a lot of balls and fucks old ladies?
A A bingo machine.
8 How many animals can you fit into a pair of knickers?
A 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find
9 What was the last thing going through the fly's mind when it hit the car
windshield?
A It's hind legs!
10What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
A They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
11 What's the only meat a priest will eat on Friday?
A Nun
12 A magician stays under water for 10 mins. crowds gather and watch. a boy in the crowd says to the magician, i bet you 20 dollars that i can stay under water for 30 mins. the boy wins the 20 dollars. How did he do it?
A He held a glass of water above his head for 30 minutes.
13I'm not made
The moon has an effect on me but I never go
You can see me from almost anywhere
And I make you sick
What Am I?
A The Ocean
14What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
15 How do you make a dead baby float?
A Take your foot off of it's head.
16 Why don't more blind people go sky diving?
A It scares the shit out of the dog.
17 How do they^ know when they are close to the ground?
A The leash goes slack.
18Why did Helen Kellers dog kill itself?
A You would too if your name was "mmmppfhrrredsanfjhfeu!!!!!"
19man to god: why did you make women so beautiful?
A so that you would love her.
20man to god: then why did you make women so dumb?
A So that she would love you.
21How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A Nail its other hand to the floor.
22Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people DO enjoy gang rape.
24Whats black and blue and doesnt want to have sex
A Rape Victim
25I once told this joke on a bus, What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
A Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.
26The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit".
We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said
A "He choked on a sock".
Quest complete ... now wheres my cookie?
I sharted.
Quote from: Armond on September 08, 2010, 11:52:38 PM
Nigel's quest was trying but, I have not tried, I have done.
1What do you call a garbageman who has married milkmen beside him?
A Communist!
2What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
A Cancer!
3What did the black kid get for his birthday???
A Your bicycle.
4 What's the difference between trampolines and babies?
A When you jump on a trampoline you take your shoes off.
5 I'm about 4 inches long, with some hair near my end. While I'm
being used, a white, creamy substance appears on my end, and i
am forced into a dark hole and thrusted back and forth in little
circles, do you know what I am?
A I'm a toothbrush!! I know what you were thinking, you sick
person.
6 How do you get a 96 year old lady to say fuck?
A Get another one to scream bingo.
7 What has a lot of balls and fucks old ladies?
A A bingo machine.
8 How many animals can you fit into a pair of knickers?
A 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find
9 What was the last thing going through the fly's mind when it hit the car
windshield?
A It's hind legs!
10What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
A They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
11 What's the only meat a priest will eat on Friday?
A Nun
12 A magician stays under water for 10 mins. crowds gather and watch. a boy in the crowd says to the magician, i bet you 20 dollars that i can stay under water for 30 mins. the boy wins the 20 dollars. How did he do it?
A He held a glass of water above his head for 30 minutes.
13I'm not made
The moon has an effect on me but I never go
You can see me from almost anywhere
And I make you sick
What Am I?
A The Ocean
14What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
15 How do you make a dead baby float?
A Take your foot off of it's head.
16 Why don't more blind people go sky diving?
A It scares the shit out of the dog.
17 How do they^ know when they are close to the ground?
A The leash goes slack.
18Why did Helen Kellers dog kill itself?
A You would too if your name was "mmmppfhrrredsanfjhfeu!!!!!"
19man to god: why did you make women so beautiful?
A so that you would love her.
20man to god: then why did you make women so dumb?
A So that she would love you.
21How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A Nail its other hand to the floor.
22Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people DO enjoy gang rape.
24Whats black and blue and doesnt want to have sex
A Rape Victim
25I once told this joke on a bus, What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
A Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.
26The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit".
We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said
A "He choked on a sock".
Quest complete ... now wheres my cookie?
WELL DONE, YOUNG ARMOND. These will be put to good use, trust me.
Now that you have completed the first quest, I present to you your second quest: I need 19 pictures of really, really adorable marsupials. They can be posted here. Feel free to ask me any questions.
Nigel- Should I send A Villager your way?
Second quest: 19 pictures of really, really adorable marsupials... Complete
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/7e64f0eb8c1a0c5b2612963b275b6bf8/wallpaper-370536.jpg) 1
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/a389b42714bef2ef5bdc5d0a631e9b07/wallpaper-101733.jpg) 2
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/c49a335354e607a34b1ec82dde15ad3d/wallpaper-242577.jpg) 3
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/fdb22abdd772bbc944f1b386fb8ba965/wallpaper-247739.jpg) 4
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/08f3c0ba681e5acbdc3d9e521d68380a/wallpaper-247744.jpg) 5
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/458a93592e41c6881f543bee6d473687/wallpaper-247742.jpg) 6
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/d6eafc0adec61c496576bdf44f29be73/wallpaper-220216.jpg) 7
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/6e2f803fd119a1a70815b4088eb25a7e/wallpaper-220218.jpg) 8
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/40ae757f519a675beacd7d5961fcba2e/wallpaper-127536.jpg) 9
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/71e4c4c8c1914d593f8ddf092682f7f5/wallpaper-127559.jpg) 10
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/466303412bc9e61a4819af978ad9924e/wallpaper-583590.jpg) 11
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/efe950e0b626e3c78f246175d408a657/wallpaper-158417.jpg) 12
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/2dd18cb7158dc4e68e357cdf1f8cefcf/wallpaper-149597.jpg) 13
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/dfe0a988d3cb77d6879a068a5061b442/wallpaper-273548.jpg) 14
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/3756c67db4a2712a1a2084a2098efaf3/wallpaper-247871.jpg) 15
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/fbf6f36978530dd879650a669cef5d78/wallpaper-335955.jpg) 16
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/71c4a7f6e8eeeb8ce558d13fca99f405/wallpaper-522892.jpg) 17
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/5ff9442391f184897014645cc2f978fd/wallpaper-721849.jpg) 18
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/2d2382fe335dc5df197370a6efbb2ec1/wallpaper-17746.jpg) 19 FUCK YEAH IM A PLATYPUS
(http://wallbase2.net/rozne/4bc2dcdb1b5e2f7a5d906f68c8c7ba3d/wallpaper-488433.jpg) 20 FUCK YEAH IM A PLATYPUS
(http://wallbase2.net/high-resolution/9172c944593586ca8982cfcd1667af69/wallpaper-476892.jpg) 21 FUCK YEAH IM A PLATYPUS... or not
... How many quests are required? Am I doing this purely fore your amusement?
Sorry, Mario, the princess is not in this castle.
O wow I didn't realize how high quality those photos were!
I think Armond gets a dozen cookies for some of those jokes.
Weird... none of those pics are showing up for me. :(
You are well on your way, Armond. The materials you have provided are not merely for my own amusement, and will be put to good use.
I will PM you your next quest.
Quote from: Nigel on September 09, 2010, 08:55:51 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on September 09, 2010, 08:39:29 PM
Nigel- Should I send A Villager your way?
Yes, definitely!
Both of us are at band practice right now (quick break), but I'll let her know to report to you
I would like to request a new quest--one that does not involve bowling alleys because I do not endorse in any way the inferiority complex created by that racist no-bumper set up.
FUCK YOU RANDOM STRONG PERSON WHO'S BEEN BOWLING FOR YEARS!!!1! WHAT IF I MEANT TO GO IN THE GUTTER! YEAH!!!
punk.
Quote from: The Great Pope of OUTSIDE on September 10, 2010, 01:53:05 AM
I would like to request a new quest--one that does not involve bowling alleys because I do not endorse in any way the inferiority complex created by that racist no-bumper set up.
FUCK YOU RANDOM STRONG PERSON WHO'S BEEN BOWLING FOR YEARS!!!1! WHAT IF I MEANT TO GO IN THE GUTTER! YEAH!!!
punk.
OK.
Your new assignment involves stores that sell nag champa incense.
Good luck with that.
involves? What am I supposed to do with them?
Quote from: The Great Pope of OUTSIDE on September 10, 2010, 02:34:24 AM
involves? What am I supposed to do with them?
Something that can be posted here as proof. Your choice.