I am American, but please allow me to try to mangle English, as American will not allow me to express these thoughts.
Some days I think I am absolutely mad. Other days I am sure of it. But this does not impact me in a negative fashion, see, I embrace my madness. I embrace it because I reject your definition of sanity. I refuse to accept your illusion of normalcy.
Even groups who should know better expect a certain behaviour. Please. Who designated you of all people to define normalcy? Perhaps my normalcy frightens you?
Now, you may ask at this point who I am speaking to. I am speaking to you, in your tweed armor. And you, hiding behind that stack of books telling you what I should act like. Oh, and you, with the wife and 2.5 children, while secretly you are a flaming Queen.
What are you afraid of? Why do I frighten you so? Am I not validating your ideals? Is that the entire issue?
And those of you who should know better, why, of all people do you expect me to fit nicely inside your square little box? I won't, I never have, and I never will. I make you uncomfortable. I don't do things your way.
No, I don't, and please don't expect me to. I am my own person and I will do things my way.
Those of you are trying to 'help' those of us who are mad, WE DON'T WANT YOUR HELP, WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. THIS IS THE PART YOU ARE FAILING TO UNDERSTAND.
When you hear the hysterical laughter coming from the wards at night, YOU CAUSED IT. We are laughing at YOU. You sit and wonder why we don't admit we are mad. Let me enlighten you. It's because this is the first step in validating you. You are not interested in helping anybody, you are on a Holy Mission to validate you.
I/We have no desire to validate you. So when you professors with your turtleneck sweaters are fucking girls half your age, remember me. I am laughing at you. I see you for what you really are. And you dare to call me mad? I posit that it is indeed you who are mad.
It is you who cannot tolerate anything that doesn't fit inside your preconceived ideals of perfection. I am the one who can accept that people are different. I am the one who embraces and rejoices in those differences. You are the one trying to create a beige utopia.
I am mad as a Hatter.
Or am I?
:mittens:
Thanks Dawn. Most of the rest will ignore this, as it doesn't fit in their scheme of things.
Nice rant, CB. Am I right in thinking this was inspired by the "Since Hawk is an asshole" and " A few pet peeves" threads?
Quote from: Doktor James Semaj on September 28, 2010, 05:44:43 AM
Nice rant, CB. Am I right in thinking this was inspired by the "Since Hawk is an asshole" and " A few pet peeves" threads?
Close. It's inspired by others thinking I should post and act in the way that they approve of. I, of course, refuse to comply and validate them.
QuoteClose. It's inspired by others thinking I should post and act in the way that they approve of. I, of course, refuse to comply and validate them.
Fair enough. Personally, not going to take sides, since last time I tried to mediate, I got head bitten off.
Anyways, I liked the rant. Can see how it could apply to a whole host of different things.
Quote from: Doktor James Semaj on September 28, 2010, 05:49:08 AM
QuoteClose. It's inspired by others thinking I should post and act in the way that they approve of. I, of course, refuse to comply and validate them.
Fair enough. Personally, not going to take sides, since last time I tried to mediate, I got head bitten off.
Anyways, I liked the rant. Can see how it could apply to a whole host of different things.
Thanks. Appreciate it.
Dr. James. I came back here at the request of a dear friend. At this point I don't care if I am a troll or a member. I have made contributions, and I have idled, like everyone else. If any want a piece of me they are welcome to it.
QuoteThanks. Appreciate it.
My pleasure. Also, how are things going with the WTU thing? I've been trying to find time to write up that letter, but not having much luck so far.
Quote from: Doktor James Semaj on September 28, 2010, 05:51:42 AM
QuoteThanks. Appreciate it.
My pleasure. Also, how are things going with the WTU thing? I've been trying to find time to write up that letter, but not having much luck so far.
Working on it.
QuoteWorking on it.
Wonderful.
It's good. I am here as a hostile to counter the bullshit being spread. I will figt as long asthey feel it is necessary.
QuoteIt's good. I am here as a hostile to counter the bullshit being spread. I will figt as long asthey feel it is necessary.
Do as thou wilt. But things are probably going to get uglier before they get better.
:mittens: :fuckmittens:
Quote from: Doktor James Semaj on September 28, 2010, 06:06:03 AM
QuoteIt's good. I am here as a hostile to counter the bullshit being spread. I will figt as long asthey feel it is necessary.
Do as thou wilt. But things are probably going to get uglier before they get better.
I have been pussyfooting around long enough. If anyone wants to get down in the mud with me, then that is just fine. I have had enough. I won't tolerate anymore.
Quote
I have been pussyfooting around long enough. If anyone wants to get down in the mud with me, then that is just fine. I have had enough. I won't tolerate anymore.
Fair enough. I wish you luck.
Quote from: Charley Brown on September 28, 2010, 06:09:56 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on September 28, 2010, 06:09:01 AM
:mittens: :fuckmittens:
Your post has left me confused.
The meaning I associate with the fuckmittens is Mittens + Badass. I don't know what they originally meant, but I consider them mittens for use when addressing something badass. Both pairs of mittens were meant positively.
Quote from: Epimetheus on September 28, 2010, 06:12:26 AM
Quote from: Charley Brown on September 28, 2010, 06:09:56 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on September 28, 2010, 06:09:01 AM
:mittens: :fuckmittens:
Your post has left me confused.
The meaning I associate with the fuckmittens is Mittens + Badass. I don't know what they originally meant, but I consider them mittens for use when addressing something badass. Both pairs of mittens were meant positively.
Then thank you.
I think fuckmittens is the most misunderstood meme of the board, younger generation gets it as they see it as FUCK YEAH while others seem confused as why ones waving the middle finger in the air.
I say wave your middle fingers proudly, wave em like you just don't care
I'm still wondering what you're so upset about, Charley.
This is PD. Take it personally, and you'll get ulcers.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 28, 2010, 03:56:50 PM
I'm still wondering what you're so upset about, Charley.
This is PD. Take it personally, and you'll get ulcers.
I don't know. There sure is a bur under my saddle though.
It happens, I know from personal experience.
Sometimes its best to remember that this is a forum of people dedicated/affailiated/hangs out with a concept of Discord, Chaos, etc etc etc. That we poke each other occasionally only emphasizes the fact that we can actually be civil to each other a large part of the time, or several small parts of the time anyway...
In the end, ya gotta figure out why you're here. Are you here to get accolades from the rest of us, are you here to hang with people not afraid to poke at well anything that happens to be poke-able, or are you here to vent your views, or are you here because Eris calls you late at night and breathes heavily into the phone? Or, possibly like many of us, maybe you have no idea why you're here, only that it generally seems to fits like an old shoe.
Getting upset about stuff that happens here happens to most of us. Even those of us that say "Pffft, don't get upset at shit that happens here."
Discordia is a bitch; a hot, sexy, undeniable bitch.
I have been writing my book and something came over me. The realization that I can never do any of these things again buried me under an avalanche of self loathing and intense anger. Or, in other words pissed off self pity. Internally I was kicking things and screaming at the top of my lungs but externally all was a deep calm.
Then, like a volcano, things went completely batshit. Add to this me barely being in control of myself on a good day. I was going to quit writing and go do something real crazy, no idea what, but something.
Then slowly the realization came over me that at one time I did have the opportunity to do these things. Things most people will never do. I had lived, at full speed. Maybe if I had led a different life I would be in better health. To what end, though? Would I really trade it in if I could? No, I don't think so.
So I told myself to shut the fuck up and quit all this fucking bitching and whining. So I did. As much as I loathe never being able to do those things again, I loathe wallowing around in self pity far more.
Will it happen again? Odds are, yes. Will it be as bad? Odds are, no. Realizing the cause of insane actions is the only way to curtail some of them. And also to nurture others.
I am back, in a good space, for now.
Having never experienced such anger, I can honestly say it's beyond my imagination. Glad to hear you're doing well again, though.
It sounds like you need people to mentor or teach, and the occasional skillet to the head. Glad you are back.
2 helpings of skillet please.