I've been meaning to make this thread for a loong time. It will be a depository for all the fucked up, depressing, and sometimes hilarious shit that I come across in my job. Sometimes it'll come a few times a night, sometimes not for a few weeks, but I'll try to keep it running.
****************
A woman called today. She'd received a notice in the mail that someone would be coming to pick her up and "deliver" her to court for money she owed. Basically it was a notice that a warrant was out for her arrest. I told her to get in touch with our warrant division, which unfortunately won't be available until tomorrow, but that as far as I knew nobody would be acting on that tonight. She was upset. Nearing tears. Her voice quivered and she half-whispered, "I just think it's ridiculous, for eighty-eight dollars."
A warrant out for $88? Christ.
Quote from: Doktor Princess on September 30, 2010, 03:54:23 AM
A warrant out for $88? Christ.
What the hell could I say? I responded with, essentially, "I agree, and I'm sorry."
Maybe as the weeks go by all of these won't be as disheartening.
I owe the City of Portland more than that due to stupid parking tickets and similar such bureaucratic fuck-knuckling.
I've had to move my car into hiding until I get new tags.
:ninja:
Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC. No, really.
I'm wondering how long she owed that money. That kind of shit usually happens when it's been outstanding for a really long time. Which kind of mitigates the sorrow, when you realize that if she stuffed $5 in to a sock each week, she'd have the money in four months.
Quote from: Sigmatic on September 30, 2010, 08:24:38 AM
Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC. No, really.
The thing is, my job is actually pretty great. Most of my time on PD is from there, I've read dozens of books, played through a few DS games, watch movies and football at work, and the pay isn't awful. It's just the fucked up shit that I'm, well not exposed to, but privy to in some odd detached way.
Couldn't help but notice it seems you owe the board fourty-two dollars
Good topic for a thread, EoC -- I've always wondered what your day is like.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 30, 2010, 02:49:01 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on September 30, 2010, 08:24:38 AM
Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC. No, really.
The thing is, my job is actually pretty great. Most of my time on PD is from there, I've read dozens of books, played through a few DS games, watch movies and football at work, and the pay isn't awful. It's just the fucked up shit that I'm, well not exposed to, but privy to in some odd detached way.
For some reason I could see myself loving a job like that. My theme song would be Oingo Boingo - Nasty Habits.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 30, 2010, 04:54:06 AM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on September 30, 2010, 03:54:23 AM
A warrant out for $88? Christ.
What the hell could I say? I responded with, essentially, "I agree, and I'm sorry."
Maybe as the weeks go by all of these won't be as disheartening.
She will beg for the chance to pay her library fines NOW!
Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:
We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track. The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.
:lulz:
Dude that sounds like the start of a typical bar joke:
"So a guy dressed as Santa walks into a bar, takes out a shotgun and says, 'gimme all your cash and I'll take a pint of your finest as well!'" etc.
:lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 20, 2010, 12:30:31 AM
Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:
We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track. The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.
:lulz:
Now that's proper holiday spirit. Was that guy from Tuscon?
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 20, 2010, 01:52:27 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 20, 2010, 12:30:31 AM
Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:
We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track. The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.
:lulz:
Now that's proper holiday spirit. Was that guy from Tuscon?
Worse. New Bedford.
We just took an ambulance call for a woman who used mouthwash and is complaining of it burning.
I. I just.
:asplode:
Hhhhhhh...
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 22, 2010, 02:12:44 AM
We just took an ambulance call for a woman who used mouthwash and is complaining of it burning.
I. I just.
:asplode:
:lulz:
Arrest the mouthwash!
Got an ambulance call. Nothing physically wrong with the guy. He's taking the ride because he doesn't know what else to do, and he's in no right mind to think of something. Hearing him screaming in the back, I'm not sure he even could think of anything.
He'd just fatally struck a pedestrian.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 22, 2010, 11:46:19 PM
Got an ambulance call. Nothing physically wrong with the guy. He's taking the ride because he doesn't know what else to do, and he's in no right mind to think of something. Hearing him screaming in the back, I'm not sure he even could think of anything.
He'd just fatally struck a pedestrian.
:x
Sounds like a standard issue of shock to me.
Extreme limbic arousal.
Requires prefrontal lobotomy.
Highly surgical.
Ambulance call: Patient swallowed a grape whole and is complaining of feeling like it's stuck in her upper asophagus.
They just informed two K9 officers their positions are being terminated. They either have to become correctional officers or they're out of jobs.
One of them is eight weeks from retirement.
WTF. They have to do something for that guy.
That's fucked.
Hope the guy close to retirement get's the cushiest possible run as a corrections officer for his last 8 weeks.
Ugh. Signs of the times, I guess. :(
Wasn't done to save money. Their positions were even posted as available before they were informed, with the assumption the department was actually growing.
Nope, staying the same, and going to some guys more likely to play ball a bit better.
I don't particularly like either of them, or care to work with them, but still, you just don't do that.
Ah. Politics, then. THAT is a whole other ball o' wax.
The maintenance crew seems to be having a crisis of insurmountable odds:
Maintenance Work Request
Requested By: They
Date: Today
Facility: Jail
Location/Work Area: earth
Problem/Work Request: every thing
That one's hitting me a funny way ten hours into the work day.
:lulz:
"Insufficient equipment and physical plant to compelte request. Please submit to facility management for review, then re-submit."
4/14/11 0846 Captain ***** reports there is a rooster walking around the women's center. K9 was notified.
4/14/11 1227 K9 Lietenant ****** reports the rooster is back and near the women's center entrance. Sallyport was notified. K9 is attempting to contact animal control.
4/14/11 1542 K9 Officer ***** reports animal control is on scene.
4/14/11 1547 K9 Officer ***** reports animal control has the rooster captured. K9 and animal control are clear of that scene.
So...
You're saying they sucessfully removed the cock from the women's center?
:lulz:
Quote from: Richter on April 14, 2011, 09:26:55 PM
So...
You're saying they sucessfully removed the cock from the women's center?
:lulz:
Richter! Saying it so the rest of us don't have to. :lulz:
It was a male chicken. It was black. It was actually harassing people outside the women's facility.
I was only actually there for the tail end of it all, but sweet christ that's just too good to pass up.
And it only took . . . what, seven hours?
I bet those chicks were irritated.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 09:34:37 PM
And it only took . . . what, seven hours?
I bet those chicks were irritated.
We're a state agency. Frankly, I'm amazed it got done at all.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 14, 2011, 09:35:45 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 14, 2011, 09:34:37 PM
And it only took . . . what, seven hours?
I bet those chicks were irritated.
We're a state agency. Frankly, I'm amazed it got done at all.
Good point. :P
The great minds of my department hard at work. This was an answer key to a Corrections Ethics question during this morning's training:
A. Applies to men only.
B. Applies to women only.
C. Applies to both men and women.
D. Only B.
:crankey:
wat :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2011, 03:49:09 AM
Ambulance call: Patient swallowed a grape whole and is complaining of feeling like it's stuck in her upper asophagus.
if that's true, how was she able to make the call? Then again, that's a really good way to choke yourself to death.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 14, 2011, 09:32:30 PM
It was a male chicken. It was black. It was actually harassing people outside the women's facility.
I was only actually there for the tail end of it all, but sweet christ that's just too good to pass up.
so, a black cock was terrorizing a women's locker room. :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Really enjoying reading this thread, EoC!
Quote from: Eve Hill on April 21, 2011, 12:54:52 AM
Really enjoying reading this thread, EoC!
Hah, glad to hear it. I realized shortly after making it that the really fucked up things I can't put up here for legal reasons, as they're ongoing cases and such. But the absurd and stupid shit that happens during regular jail operations I'm totally alright with posting.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 21, 2011, 01:00:19 AM
Quote from: Eve Hill on April 21, 2011, 12:54:52 AM
Really enjoying reading this thread, EoC!
Hah, glad to hear it. I realized shortly after making it that the really fucked up things I can't put up here for legal reasons, as they're ongoing cases and such. But the absurd and stupid shit that happens during regular jail operations I'm totally alright with posting.
It's fun to read. :-) My sister's fiance' will sometimes talk about the crazy stuff he sees when he's working, too. He had us howling one night when he talked about something that had happened during his first couple weeks on the job. He was working the night shift and responded to what he thought was a woman screaming. He had to radio back that it was just 2 cats mating behind a dumpster. Lol, he said the other guys left meow mix on his desk for a week straight. :-D
:lulz: Latest page of this thread = Golden!
"Hi, I wanted to know what the webpage was for the visitor's form."
"Sure, that's B-C-S-O-DASH-M-A-DOT-ORG."
"Is that an upper case dash or a lower case dash."
" :crankey:"
No matter how many times it happens, and it happened again today, I will never stop finding it funny when somebody with an active warrant shows up to our jail to bail somebody out.
Every single time I just want to run downstairs, approach them like a pushy reporter, and say "Excuse me! Excuse me, sir! Did you honestly expect to not get arrested?"
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 18, 2011, 08:47:34 PM
No matter how many times it happens, and it happened again today, I will never stop finding it funny when somebody with an active warrant shows up to our jail to bail somebody out.
Every single time I just want to run downstairs, approach them like a pushy reporter, and say "Excuse me! Excuse me, sir! Did you honestly expect to not get arrested?"
:lulz:
Okay this one was just :asplode:
The K9 officer was getting a girl's information. She gives us the name and date of birth - it comes back with a warrant, of course.
The girl gets arrested. She's booked in, she's transferred to our holding cells in another city, and approximately two hours later TOLD US THAT THE NAME SHE GAVE US WASN'T EVEN HERS. She gave us her friend's info and got arrested for it. Then she gave us her own information, it all checks out, she wasn't lying about it this time, and now there's nothing to hold her on.
Also, log entry of the night "K9 reports that the female he arrested is upset about being arrested."
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 03:41:59 AM
Also, log entry of the night "K9 reports that the female he arrested is upset about being arrested."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:lulz:
Oh my god. That's CLASSIC. :lulz:
When attempting to be someone else, choose the friend least likely to have an outstanding warrant on them.
Quote from: Cain on July 29, 2011, 07:35:55 PM
When attempting to be someone else, choose the friend least likely to have an outstanding warrant on them.
THIS. Or at least KNOW your friends well enough to know if that's a possibility. Tho, if she's giving the dob, she knows ENOUGH to be able to SURMISE, at least...
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 03:41:59 AM
Okay this one was just :asplode:
The K9 officer was getting a girl's information. She gives us the name and date of birth - it comes back with a warrant, of course.
The girl gets arrested. She's booked in, she's transferred to our holding cells in another city, and approximately two hours later TOLD US THAT THE NAME SHE GAVE US WASN'T EVEN HERS. She gave us her friend's info and got arrested for it. Then she gave us her own information, it all checks out, she wasn't lying about it this time, and now there's nothing to hold her on.
Also, log entry of the night "K9 reports that the female he arrested is upset about being arrested."
Things have not gone well for this girl since that day. She now has 11 active warrants to her name.
"Hello this is Attorney Jake Williams. You're holding my client illegally."
"Okay."
"Paperwork was faxed over to Jon Travers explaining the warrant you're holding him on has been dismissed. They said that he's gone for the day and they're trying to get a hold of him."
"That's correct, we are."
"Well how do you intend to get in touch with him if he's gone for the day?"
"Um. The telephone."
"Well the paperwork should be in his office."
"Alright. Do you have the keys to your boss' office?"
"Well no, is it locked?"
"This is a jail. We tend to lock things."
I just patched a call to the hospital where the man being transported was assaulted with an unknown object.
He is now missing most of his upper lip, almost up to his nose.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 29, 2011, 01:54:46 AM
I just patched a call to the hospital where the man being transported was assaulted with an unknown object.
He is now missing most of his upper lip, almost up to his nose.
New Bedford. FTW.
Quote from: Suu on September 29, 2011, 03:17:49 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 29, 2011, 01:54:46 AM
I just patched a call to the hospital where the man being transported was assaulted with an unknown object.
He is now missing most of his upper lip, almost up to his nose.
New Bedford. FTW.
As though to provide perfect contrast, the next patch was a kid who had a charlie horse.
They had to let Sammy go today.
I guess Saturday night he didn't come in on time. It's becoming sort of a thing of his, really, but he does usually show up. Well he showed up again. Creature of habit, this one, so when they saw he didn't park in his normal spot they knew something was up. Our newest dispatcher waited for a bit. She saw him stumble out of his truck and try to get into the gate to the jail. Problem is, we don't use those gates. We have a separate building.
So she guides him, stumbling and slurring and incoherent to our door. He buzzes the bell like he does every day and when the lock is released from upstairs he misses the handle. Three times. The new girl opens the door for him and he leans and stumbles his way up the stairs, just claims he's tired says he's so tired.
I don't know how much time passed but eventually his partner is holding him down. He won't let him leave because he's a danger on the road to himself and others, but it's too much for him. It's busy up here, even on third shift at midnight on a Saturday. He lets up to go answer some ambulance and Sammy takes the chance to leave. He shits himself on the way out, leaving a trail of feces down the stairs that our bosses have to come in and clean until 3 am.
He was banned from property the next day. They couldn't find him to serve him his termination papers until the day after. He was pulled over by the local PD and managed to avoid the OUI because he knew the cop and she guided him home. Ended up in an ambulance at least twice today. So ends the 19 year tenure of one of our dispatchers.
His road's been heading here for a while. Back in August he had his first leave of absence. We figured he was hitting the booze again and it wasn't mixing well with the cocktail he needs for his diabetes and his gastric bypass and whatever else he's on. Said he'd worked with employee assistance and got cleared to come back. A few weeks later he's suspended again, he's erratic. Nobody knows what's true anymore because he tells a different story to each party.
Heard his wife moved out on him. Heard he owes a lot of money after his latest cooking gig at some dive bar turned out badly. Heard he'd been spotted in his old haunts at odd hours. Always told everyone he was getting the help he needed. Until he just didn't.
So we had to let Sammy go today. What other choice did we have?
I'm bumping this because I've been posting a lot of work stuff in Open Bar lately.
So they took away our uniform allowance. We have a required getup: uniform shirt, uniform pants, black polished boots or shoes, black belt, black socks. Every year we would get a check in September for upkeep of said uniform.
Well the higher ups decided that we can't be trusted with money and doing the proper thing with it. Add that to the over $1200 they've taken away from us already this year. So instead of a check, we are now getting:
3 - Uniform shirts, choice of long sleeve or short
3 - Uniform pants
Every year. Now you might noticed a few discrepancies between our required uniform and the one they're giving us in the form of a belt, socks, and shoes. I brought this up with my supervisor (who does not agree with these policies and has fought against them, to his credit).
"Boss, as our belt, socks, and shoes are not being provided for, I am going to assume that these parts of the uniform are now optional. If you see me coming into work barefoot in the near future you'll know why."
"Of course, EoC, they're not giving you any boots to wear!"
I am now in the process of trying to convince my co-workers to wear hot pink belts, socks, and shoes.
:lulz:
Hello Kitty Socks. Always.
High heeled boots.
Length of hemp rope for the belt.
Metallic blue doc martens. You know you wanna.
I will attempt to explain the process of bailing an individual out from our facility.
On weekdays until 4pm, all bails are held at the courthouse. After 4pm, they have to come to one of our locations to do it. We have two, one in the town I work in and one in the neighboring city (which, incidentally, is the oldest working jail in the US – there are boarded up trap doors from where they used to have hangings). The bails are held at set times and are conducted by the Bail Clerk.
The Bail Clerks are Clerk Magistrates. They make $40 cash for every bail they process, be it $10,000 or $50 – an hour's work can rake in a few hundred dollars for these guys, who are already compensated well into six figures for their regular jobs (this came under scrutiny recently when a clerk in Boston posted bail for the son of the area's most famous sports announcer, who was locked up for beating the crap out of his girlfriend, and the man promptly left the jail and killed her). They're on a rotation.
The bails are held at set times every day – 4:30, 7:30, and midnight, at both locations. At both locations. A single bail clerk works. If you are asking how an individual can be in two places, you have spotted a flaw in our system. The clerks themselves determine which of the locations they will be visiting in which order, based largely on their present whereabouts. People looking to pay bail are expected to check in at the proper location at least a half hour before the bail time, so 4:00, 7:00, and 11:30. On top of the half hour wait, they wait for every bail in line before them, and possibly at every bail at the other location, as well as transportation time for the bail clerk. Waiting two hours is not uncommon. There is no lobby or waiting area – they wait in their cars. Oh, and bail clerks can cancel certain bail times, day of. One of them has a policy of no bails at midnight at my location on weekends.
A person navigates this labyrinthine system and comes to my location more than a half hour prior to the next bail period –w hat now? Well, there's no sign directing them where to go. They drive down a winding access road, past three buildings, to a parking lot where a sign reads "Bail Parking." The sign faces away from the parking lot. It has no further instructions. Sometimes, sometimes, a K-9 officer notices them and directs them how to proceed, provided one is in the area and one is even on duty.
The person does not go to the front entrance, nor to the gate where the bail is actually conducted. They are to go to the women's holding facility, whether they are bailing a woman out or not. It is the least obvious entrance, again with no sign, and the most recessed of the three buildings on the road. They inform the officer at the desk that they are here to bail as well as who they are here to bail. They are instructed to go wait in bail parking.
That officer then contacts the receiving area of the jail where the bail will actually be conducted. The receiving area informs my department, either with a phone call or by sending the paperwork we need to go through up the pneumatic tube. We run the paperwork and send it back down to them. The bail clerk then calls us and we inform the bail clerk how many bails are on the property. On duty K-9 officers have us run thorough warrant, vehicle registration, and driver's license checks on every individual in the vehicle.
The first bail period coincides with the day shift getting off of work, so naturally they are asked by the confused bail parties how to go about bailing somebody out. The employees, almost universally, do not know, and direct them to bail parking without informing anybody. If nobody notices them, the bail period comes, and goes, and they are waiting there completely unnoticed. If they check in at the front entrance rather than the women's center, the officer staffing the reception area may or may not inform the appropriate areas that they are on site, so the bail period will come, and go, while they wait there completely unnoticed. If, like today, the extended game of telephone wherein they talk to one officer, who tells another officer, who tells us, who tell the bail clerk, fails by one of those people down the line not telling us, we are not able to tell the bail clerk and the bail period will come, and go, while they wait here completely unnoticed.
Sounds efficient.
Whoa.
That bears a striking resemblance to Kafka's "Before the Law" parable... (http://records.viu.ca/~johnstoi/kafka/beforethelaw.htm)
Our Sheriff took off to Texas to witness the border crisis in person.
He is quoted as saying he would send the busloads of children away in a heartbeat, and that what we have isn't a humanitarian crisis, but a "crisis of leadership." He thinks some of them will end up in Massachusetts and we'll end up housing them at our jail.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 18, 2014, 12:11:40 AM
Our Sheriff took off to Texas to witness the border crisis in person.
He is quoted as saying he would send the busloads of children away in a heartbeat, and that what we have isn't a humanitarian crisis, but a "crisis of leadership." He thinks some of them will end up in Massachusetts and we'll end up housing them at our jail.
Junkets FTW.
How did you wind up with a mini-Joe?
New England turns into a cesspit of assholery whenever immigration issue come up. You'd think Boston was still shellshocked from the Irish or something.
It's a last bastion of unrepentant New England racism that's still relatively acceptable.
You know who has surprised me with the border children issue?
Glenn Beck.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ej-dionne-republicans-are-bordering-on-heartless/2014/07/13/cc152306-092e-11e4-8a6a-19355c7e870a_story.html
QuoteGlenn Beck says he has come under fierce attack from some of his fellow conservatives for a grave transgression.
His crime? He announced plans to bring food, water, teddy bears and soccer balls to at least some of the tens of thousands of Central American children who have crossed the border into the United States.
"Through no fault of their own, they are caught in political crossfire," Beck said. "Anyone, left or right, seeking political gain at the expense of these desperate, vulnerable, poor and suffering people are reprehensible."
Beck, not averse to a certain grandiosity, let us know that "I've never taken a position more deadly to my career than this." But assume he's right — and he may well be. It's one more sign of how the crisis at our border has brought out the very worst in our political system and a degree of plain nastiness that we should not be proud of as a nation.
When Republican talking points are to the right of Glenn Beck, you know something has gotten fucked up.
It's actually hilarious that he's becoming too moderate for the teabillies. Great things can't help but follow.
Oh wow, he has a conscience. Mark it on the calendar before he changes his mind!
Quote from: Cain on July 18, 2014, 10:54:56 AM
You know who has surprised me with the border children issue? Glenn Beck.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ej-dionne-republicans-are-bordering-on-heartless/2014/07/13/cc152306-092e-11e4-8a6a-19355c7e870a_story.html
QuoteGlenn Beck says he has come under fierce attack from some of his fellow conservatives for a grave transgression.
His crime? He announced plans to bring food, water, teddy bears and soccer balls to at least some of the tens of thousands of Central American children who have crossed the border into the United States.
"Through no fault of their own, they are caught in political crossfire," Beck said. "Anyone, left or right, seeking political gain at the expense of these desperate, vulnerable, poor and suffering people are reprehensible."
Beck, not averse to a certain grandiosity, let us know that "I've never taken a position more deadly to my career than this." But assume he's right — and he may well be. It's one more sign of how the crisis at our border has brought out the very worst in our political system and a degree of plain nastiness that we should not be proud of as a nation.
When Republican talking points are to the right of Glenn Beck, you know something has gotten fucked up.
Wut
Wait
I'm so confused... I think reality might have sprung a leak.
We have a vacancy.
Sometime around the dissolution of his third marriage, one of my coworkers who'd so long teetered on the edge of keeping it together leaned a little too far in the wrong direction. He went on vacation in August and he never really came back. Five weeks of vacation, three weeks of floating holidays, a week of personal days, 17 years of accumulated sick time, the Family Medical Leave Act, and some doctor's notes that I can only assume were written by the Surgeon General got him a total of two and a half hours worth of work between August and April. To be clear, I have no doubt he was in a truly bad way during this time, but that is separate from the fact that he's a self serving, manipulative wretch who is the clearest candidate for Narcissistic Personality Disorder that I have ever met.
He came back in April and seemed back to normal. He was funny as usual, when not being a generally repugnant bigot, and was able to do the work as always. Right before his leave he started getting big into ham radio, obsessed by it really. He studied like mad for his certification and he collected every little thing he could from flea markets and online bid sites. During his meltdown, which none of us realized was still ongoing, that community may well have been his only social outlet besides his mother and his cat.
A few months back local agencies, ourselves included, were getting hoax active shooter calls. When our department talked about our response to these hoaxes, he brought up hoax mayday calls being sent over his radio bands. He said what a waste of resources they were, for the coast guard to respond, and how the transmissions can be triangulated within a few yards of their point of origin. He would say how awful he found the perpetrator. Thing is, he brought those mayday calls up a few more times outside of this context.
He got pulled into the director's office last week, was in there for less than a minute, and left without a word after. He didn't log out or take his lunchbox, he just took off in his car. I got pulled into the office. I was told if he attempted entry to my office not to let him in and to direct him to investigations, where his property was awaiting him. Along with a notice of termination and a no trespass order.
Right now the story appears to be that he got involved with a ham radio gang. Yes, a goddamn ham radio gang. And whether as part of his initiation or as a vendetta, he used our background access to research some rivals and broadcast their personal information over the air. Oh, and on some nights he got bombed and called in hoax maydays from home.
That makes I think about six coworkers that have turned over since I've started, fully half of which have gone under circumstances inglorious or outright insane. And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
...Ham radio gang.
WTF :lulz:
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 04, 2015, 10:49:42 PM
...Ham radio gang.
WTF :lulz:
I spent most of my day on Tuesday exclaiming "I don't fucking believe it!" periodically.
I'm still not sure I do. :lulz:
Ham radio gangs?
This is like something I'd write when I'm all fucked up on pills. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 04, 2015, 11:31:31 PM
Ham radio gangs?
This is like something I'd write when I'm all fucked up on pills. :lulz:
This man was very, very fucked up on pills. Except he lived it. Just what the fuck. :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
HAM
RADIO
GANGS.
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2015, 01:09:07 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
Wrong question entirely.
The real questions are all about this ham radio gang and how far EOC has infiltrated it.
That sounds amazing, I wonder what his gang name was? I'm going to go with Marconi.
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2015, 01:09:07 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
It's been a pattern of every other crazy so far.
1. Gastric bypass gave her a confidence boost so she started trying to cheat on her husband. She got taken in by an online dating scam, moved to Colorado to shack up with a nonexistent dude, leaving her husband and three kids behind.
2. Took another job closer to home.
3. Gastric bypass meds don't work well with alcohol, or alcoholism. Came into work one day parking by the inmate intake gate, couldn't find his way up the stairs. Tried to prevent his leaving while intoxicated but the guy struggled free and left, dragging feces across the floor as she shat himself.
4. Took a job with better hours for her family.
5. HAM RADIO GANGS.
So we'll probably have one or two more leave for greener pastures, and another two or three years from now have a somehow grander, more disturbing meltdown. My money is on 3rd gastric bypass guy or maybe lap band lady, just because fucking with your gastrointestinal tract seems to have a pretty profound effect on your psyche.
So what's the initiation ceremony for a ham radio gang? Do they have colours?
Quote from: Cain on June 05, 2015, 12:42:22 PM
So what's the initiation ceremony for a ham radio gang? Do they have colours?
You get squelched by each member in turn, and if you survive you're in, for life.
In related news, this is the most fun I have ever had at work.
The ham ganger left a first shift vacancy, which needs to be filled within the department. It goes by seniority, and while I'm halfway up that list I have no interest in losing my midday shift with weekends off. The lowest seniority member is so obnoxious my bosses spent the last day convincing another person to take it so they wouldn't have to work with the other woman.
The obnoxious one took it anyway. That leaves her second shift open. That spot is coveted by one other dispatcher, but another first shifter is thinking about taking it to avoid the obnoxious one. Plus, if he leaves his spot open a third shifter could potentially take that, leaving third shift open and prompting the first-turned-second shifter to take it, opening that second shift spot again. I've been threatening to take a partial weekend first with an interest in night school, just to add to the panic.
It's absolute chaos, and either way I am working with the exact same people only at different times of the day. I am the only one for whom it remains unchanged, so all I can do is sit back and lulz and lulz.
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 05, 2015, 04:10:31 PM
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
It's possible that he's CB and I just don't know the difference in spite of actually using a radio to make my living. :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 05, 2015, 12:12:28 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2015, 01:09:07 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
It's been a pattern of every other crazy so far.
1. Gastric bypass gave her a confidence boost so she started trying to cheat on her husband. She got taken in by an online dating scam, moved to Colorado to shack up with a nonexistent dude, leaving her husband and three kids behind.
2. Took another job closer to home.
3. Gastric bypass meds don't work well with alcohol, or alcoholism. Came into work one day parking by the inmate intake gate, couldn't find his way up the stairs. Tried to prevent his leaving while intoxicated but the guy struggled free and left, dragging feces across the floor as she shat himself.
4. Took a job with better hours for her family.
5. HAM RADIO GANGS.
So we'll probably have one or two more leave for greener pastures, and another two or three years from now have a somehow grander, more disturbing meltdown. My money is on 3rd gastric bypass guy or maybe lap band lady, just because fucking with your gastrointestinal tract seems to have a pretty profound effect on your psyche.
Hey, I'm writing a paper about this!
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 05, 2015, 04:12:30 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 05, 2015, 12:12:28 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2015, 01:09:07 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
It's been a pattern of every other crazy so far.
1. Gastric bypass gave her a confidence boost so she started trying to cheat on her husband. She got taken in by an online dating scam, moved to Colorado to shack up with a nonexistent dude, leaving her husband and three kids behind.
2. Took another job closer to home.
3. Gastric bypass meds don't work well with alcohol, or alcoholism. Came into work one day parking by the inmate intake gate, couldn't find his way up the stairs. Tried to prevent his leaving while intoxicated but the guy struggled free and left, dragging feces across the floor as she shat himself.
4. Took a job with better hours for her family.
5. HAM RADIO GANGS.
So we'll probably have one or two more leave for greener pastures, and another two or three years from now have a somehow grander, more disturbing meltdown. My money is on 3rd gastric bypass guy or maybe lap band lady, just because fucking with your gastrointestinal tract seems to have a pretty profound effect on your psyche.
Hey, I'm writing a paper about this!
Yeah! I've read your references to the brain-gut connection and seen other info floating around. I would like to say anecdotally at least that I've noticed a pattern of people with gastric bypass and impaired decision making skills, but I never knew them before the surgery. The decisions leading up to it, including the one to get it at all, were no doubt poor to begin with.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 05, 2015, 04:27:05 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 05, 2015, 04:12:30 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 05, 2015, 12:12:28 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2015, 01:09:07 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 PM
And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.
Wrong question, perhaps. I wonder HOW will the next one go?
It's been a pattern of every other crazy so far.
1. Gastric bypass gave her a confidence boost so she started trying to cheat on her husband. She got taken in by an online dating scam, moved to Colorado to shack up with a nonexistent dude, leaving her husband and three kids behind.
2. Took another job closer to home.
3. Gastric bypass meds don't work well with alcohol, or alcoholism. Came into work one day parking by the inmate intake gate, couldn't find his way up the stairs. Tried to prevent his leaving while intoxicated but the guy struggled free and left, dragging feces across the floor as she shat himself.
4. Took a job with better hours for her family.
5. HAM RADIO GANGS.
So we'll probably have one or two more leave for greener pastures, and another two or three years from now have a somehow grander, more disturbing meltdown. My money is on 3rd gastric bypass guy or maybe lap band lady, just because fucking with your gastrointestinal tract seems to have a pretty profound effect on your psyche.
Hey, I'm writing a paper about this!
Yeah! I've read your references to the brain-gut connection and seen other info floating around. I would like to say anecdotally at least that I've noticed a pattern of people with gastric bypass and impaired decision making skills, but I never knew them before the surgery. The decisions leading up to it, including the one to get it at all, were no doubt poor to begin with.
I don't know, that might be a bit much to assume. Being obese doesn't mean they were poor decision makers, there can be a lot of contributing factors, especially given that obesity of that severity usually starts in childhood.
However, I would be very interested in pre-and-post surgery cognitive assessments and maybe default network fMRI on people who have lap band surgeries, just to see if there are any observable differences.
Oh. As it turns out, that's been (sort of) done. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3400134/
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 05, 2015, 04:10:31 PM
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
What I'm trying to understand is how it all started. One guy with a radio reaching out into the void. A voice comes back and a gang is born? Wild crazy outlaws that answer to no man except authorities. Mystery men who work from their home address. Brought together by the powers of agoraphobia and a willingness to make pointless hoax calls.
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 07, 2015, 01:02:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 05, 2015, 04:10:31 PM
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
What I'm trying to understand is how it all started. One guy with a radio reaching out into the void. A voice comes back and a gang is born? Wild crazy outlaws that answer to no man except authorities. Mystery men who work from their home address. Brought together by the powers of agoraphobia and a willingness to make pointless hoax calls.
Someone had to be the first person to buy a 40 channel CB radio.
Everyone else was still on 9, 11, and 14. This guy had 37 channels of dead air to flip through at his leisure.
It's worth noting that Betty Ford, during the worst stages of her substance abuse, was a CB fanatic under the handle "First Mama". This is fact, however horrifying.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2015, 05:51:07 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 07, 2015, 01:02:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 05, 2015, 04:10:31 PM
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
What I'm trying to understand is how it all started. One guy with a radio reaching out into the void. A voice comes back and a gang is born? Wild crazy outlaws that answer to no man except authorities. Mystery men who work from their home address. Brought together by the powers of agoraphobia and a willingness to make pointless hoax calls.
Someone had to be the first person to buy a 40 channel CB radio.
Everyone else was still on 9, 11, and 14. This guy had 37 channels of dead air to flip through at his leisure.
It's worth noting that Betty Ford, during the worst stages of her substance abuse, was a CB fanatic under the handle "First Mama". This is fact, however horrifying.
I can no longer tell reality from jokes. For real. I can't tell if this is a wisecrack or a piece of historical trivia.
The Guide Doc is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
But google pops up several sites all supporting Betty Fords CB handle.
:horrormirth:
Quote from: Dubya on June 07, 2015, 10:48:43 PM
The Guide Doc is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
But google pops up several sites all supporting Betty Fords CB handle.
:horrormirth:
That's DELIGHTFUL! If t had been just a few years later she would probably have been a BBS geek!
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 01:17:14 AM
Quote from: Dubya on June 07, 2015, 10:48:43 PM
The Guide Doc is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
But google pops up several sites all supporting Betty Fords CB handle.
:horrormirth:
That's DELIGHTFUL! If t had been just a few years later she would probably have been a BBS geek!
Best I could come up with in my currently shell-shocked state: I'm still trying to wrap my head around HAM RADIO GANGS.
Quote from: Dubya on June 08, 2015, 01:49:18 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 01:17:14 AM
Quote from: Dubya on June 07, 2015, 10:48:43 PM
The Guide Doc is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
But google pops up several sites all supporting Betty Fords CB handle.
:horrormirth:
That's DELIGHTFUL! If t had been just a few years later she would probably have been a BBS geek!
Best I could come up with in my currently shell-shocked state: I'm still trying to wrap my head around HAM RADIO GANGS.
:lol:
They were the precursor of the BBS, in multiple ways.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 07:11:09 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2015, 05:51:07 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 07, 2015, 01:02:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 05, 2015, 04:10:31 PM
I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings. They're always at home in their "radio room".
Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people. You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block. Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.
They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.
What I'm trying to understand is how it all started. One guy with a radio reaching out into the void. A voice comes back and a gang is born? Wild crazy outlaws that answer to no man except authorities. Mystery men who work from their home address. Brought together by the powers of agoraphobia and a willingness to make pointless hoax calls.
Someone had to be the first person to buy a 40 channel CB radio.
Everyone else was still on 9, 11, and 14. This guy had 37 channels of dead air to flip through at his leisure.
It's worth noting that Betty Ford, during the worst stages of her substance abuse, was a CB fanatic under the handle "First Mama". This is fact, however horrifying.
I can no longer tell reality from jokes. For real. I can't tell if this is a wisecrack or a piece of historical trivia.
It is, sadly, very true.
Would this make Ham radio operators like the Peaky Blinders of organised crime?