Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 05:45:23 PM

Title: Canadians.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 05:45:23 PM
We see you up there in Red Canada, with your filthy Tim Horton's and your lousy beer.  We see you paying $9 for a pack of smokes.  We see you getting an "education", like you're better than the rest of us.  Oh, yes, we see all of this and more.

Your 1970s haircuts and your unwillingness to give your government the special powers it needs to keep you safe.  Your hiding of unpatriotic hippies that don't want to make the world safe for Pepsi Cola and Levis.  Your Goddamn Swiss Chalet.  Your RCMP that refuses to teach a motherfucker a thing or two.

Your unfreedomness, letting old people get medical care, just like that bastard beardo in Cuba.  Your lack of liberty, letting the press run free like the hooligans they are.  Your hatred of Western civilization vis-a-vis your lack of participation in making Iraq safe for oil field services corporations.  Your letting French people live on the East side of your country, like they don't already have a country of their own.

Your low prison population, your Gay marriage, yeah, just like real people, your insufficient penalties for pot busts, your "standards" for food that keep big business from hiring lots of people.

Oh, we see all this, and I fail to see why we put up with such careless and socialistic neighbors.  Perhaps it's time for a little regime change on your side of the iron curtain.

Okay for now,
Dok
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 05:47:22 PM
But they also gave us Hank Snow, Anne Murray, Shania Twain and Porter Waggoner.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 05:48:00 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 05:47:22 PM
But they also gave us Hank Snow, Anne Murray, Shania Twain and Porter Waggoner.

The first three are basically an act of war, and Porter Waggoner got out before the barbed wire went up.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 05:50:59 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 05:48:00 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 05:47:22 PM
But they also gave us Hank Snow, Anne Murray, Shania Twain and Porter Waggoner.

The first three are basically an act of war, and Porter Waggoner got out before the barbed wire went up.


:lulz:
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 05:53:17 PM
Don't forget they also gave Custers murderers safe haven.  :evil:
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Freeky on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 06:09:59 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

I am not a big fan of Custer. He was an arrogant prick who underrated his opponent and got his ass killed. I never understood why so much was made of a loser, normally losers get swept under the carpet.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
 :lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 11, 2010, 06:10:33 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

WTF???

Was it so you could celebrate the bastard's defeat?
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:15:38 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 05:47:22 PM
But they also gave us Hank Snow, Anne Murray, Shania Twain and Porter Waggoner.

But they also gave us Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, and Sum 41.

I say we skip the economic sanctions and go straight to a little "nation building" exercise.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 11, 2010, 06:17:26 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 06:09:59 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

I am not a big fan of Custer. He was an arrogant prick who underrated his opponent and got his ass killed. I never understood why so much was made of a loser, normally losers get swept under the carpet.

Well he did have that snazzy song to help.

"Please Mr Custer... I don't wanna go."
     \
:mullet:
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:18:02 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

I pulled off the freeway to get some gas on the Crow reservation in southern Montana. There was a gas station, a convenience store, a combination KFC/Taco Bell, and a gift shop. 90% of the merchandise for sale in the gift shop was Custer memorabilia, about 3 miles from Little Bighorn. "WTF?" doesn't even begin to describe it.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on October 11, 2010, 06:18:40 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on October 11, 2010, 06:10:33 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

WTF???

Was it so you could celebrate the bastard's defeat?

More to keep the children full of the proper amount of "the fear" or maybe to keep lunch costs down.  Can you imagine looking at that bloody mess right before you go eat?  UGH!

There are a shitload of depictions of that all over the midwest, weird, sad, disgusting, but true.

You didn't grow up in AZ did you Freeky?  
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:20:22 PM
Also, Roger, you forgot to mention the single most egregious transgressions the Canuckistanis have committed, namely their absolute perversion of the most glorious of American sports after we were generous enough to allow them to have their own little league.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 06:21:00 PM
Here was another genius.

Fetterman had gone out under strict orders to "relieve the wood train, drive back the Indians, but on no account pursue the Indians beyond Lodge Trail Ridge."  But Fetterman, who once made the grand statement, "Give me eighty men and I'll ride through the whole Sioux nation," disobeyed and, although he had his eighty, he didn't even make a dent.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 06:22:30 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:20:22 PM
Also, Roger, you forgot to mention the single most egregious transgressions the Canuckistanis have committed, namely their absolute perversion of the most glorious of American sports after we were generous enough to allow them to have their own little league.

The CFL? Does that still exist?
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:29:08 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 06:22:30 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:20:22 PM
Also, Roger, you forgot to mention the single most egregious transgressions the Canuckistanis have committed, namely their absolute perversion of the most glorious of American sports after we were generous enough to allow them to have their own little league.

The CFL? Does that still exist?
Define "exist".
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
:lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.

Don't call Charley a Newfoundlander.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 11, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:18:02 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

I pulled off the freeway to get some gas on the Crow reservation in southern Montana. There was a gas station, a convenience store, a combination KFC/Taco Bell, and a gift shop. 90% of the merchandise for sale in the gift shop was Custer memorabilia, about 3 miles from Little Bighorn. "WTF?" doesn't even begin to describe it.

I want to make a pun about eating crow here....
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:48:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
:lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.

Don't call Charley a Newfoundlander.
I wouldn't wish the curse of the Newfie upon anyone. 169% Truth.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 11, 2010, 06:57:16 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 06:21:00 PM
Here was another genius.

Fetterman had gone out under strict orders to "relieve the wood train, drive back the Indians, but on no account pursue the Indians beyond Lodge Trail Ridge."  But Fetterman, who once made the grand statement, "Give me eighty men and I'll ride through the whole Sioux nation," disobeyed and, although he had his eighty, he didn't even make a dent.

All those murderous sociopathic fuckers deserved to be scalped alive.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Adios on October 11, 2010, 07:58:24 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:48:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
:lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.

Don't call Charley a Newfoundlander.
I wouldn't wish the curse of the Newfie upon anyone. 169% Truth.

I'm a hick, born in Alabama.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Freeky on October 11, 2010, 08:08:13 PM
Quote from: Kiaransalee on October 11, 2010, 06:18:40 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on October 11, 2010, 06:10:33 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

WTF???

Was it so you could celebrate the bastard's defeat?

More to keep the children full of the proper amount of "the fear" or maybe to keep lunch costs down.  Can you imagine looking at that bloody mess right before you go eat?  UGH!


There are a shitload of depictions of that all over the midwest, weird, sad, disgusting, but true.

You didn't grow up in AZ did you Freeky?  


Nope, I grew up in KC, KS.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 11, 2010, 08:09:17 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 07:58:24 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:48:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
:lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.

Don't call Charley a Newfoundlander.
I wouldn't wish the curse of the Newfie upon anyone. 169% Truth.

I'm a hick, born in Alabama.
Dok Howl's the one from Newfoundland, unless I miss my mark. So, in a sense, we're responsible.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 08:09:33 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 07:58:24 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:48:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
:lulz:

Says the Newfoundlander.

Don't call Charley a Newfoundlander.
I wouldn't wish the curse of the Newfie upon anyone. 169% Truth.

I'm a hick, born in Alabama.

Which is why it puzzled me when he called you a Newfie.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 11, 2010, 08:09:54 PM
Quote from: Remington on October 11, 2010, 08:09:17 PM

Dok Howl's the one from Newfoundland, unless I miss my mark. So, in a sense, we're responsible.

Ack!  I've been ooted!
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Chairman Risus on October 11, 2010, 10:24:27 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 06:09:59 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 11, 2010, 05:58:31 PM
When I was in elementary school, in the hallway where we lined up to get into the cafeteria there was a mural of Custer's last stand.

I am not a big fan of Custer. He was an arrogant prick who underrated his opponent and got his ass killed. I never understood why so much was made of a loser, normally losers get swept under the carpet.

I assumed it was because he gave us the frozen yogurt.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Iason Ouabache on October 12, 2010, 12:31:15 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 11, 2010, 06:15:38 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on October 11, 2010, 05:47:22 PM
But they also gave us Hank Snow, Anne Murray, Shania Twain and Porter Waggoner.

But they also gave us Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, and Sum 41.

I say we skip the economic sanctions and go straight to a little "nation building" exercise.
And Nickelback. And Avril. We should just nuke the place now. At the least it would warm the place up.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on October 12, 2010, 12:37:00 PM
i like tim hortons does that make me a bad person
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2010, 12:58:13 PM
Yes.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on October 12, 2010, 12:58:51 PM
AWESOME
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Suu on October 12, 2010, 01:01:02 PM
I FUCKING HATE FILTHY CANADIANS!  :crankey:
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: AFK on October 12, 2010, 01:41:05 PM
Does it hurt or help to point out that your favorite punster's lineage traces back to some French-Canadian clans? 

May explain why I too like Tim Hortons. 
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: The Android on October 12, 2010, 02:38:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on October 12, 2010, 01:01:02 PM
I FUCKING HATE FILTHY CANADIANS!  :crankey:

Ditto!
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2010, 05:11:41 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 12, 2010, 01:41:05 PM
Does it hurt or help to point out that your favorite punster's lineage traces back to some French-Canadian clans? 

May explain why I too like Tim Hortons. 

Quebecois may have some genetic flaws, but being Canadian isn't one of them.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Cain on October 12, 2010, 05:13:23 PM
Equally, neither is being human.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 12, 2010, 05:38:55 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 12, 2010, 05:11:41 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 12, 2010, 01:41:05 PM
Does it hurt or help to point out that your favorite punster's lineage traces back to some French-Canadian clans?  

May explain why I too like Tim Hortons.  

Quebecois may have some genetic flaws, but being Canadian isn't one of them.
Pre-dispostions towards ingesting truly disgusting amounts of sugar and fat are, though.

Srsly. Quebecois are incurable sugar junkies.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Richter on October 12, 2010, 05:45:05 PM
The Canadians have the weird concept of Thanksgiving.  It happens early, on Columbus day of all things, but is basically the same otherwise.  When we can we get together with Grandma to celebrate it, but I'm never clear on how that all got rolling.  Some of the family stuck out the Revolution in Canada, while the other half was kicking out the king, that may have been it.  

Anyways, there was turkey, there was chatting and bullshitting.  We had to work around the privations of a house most of the clan occupies off and on throughout the year.  It's never quite fully stocked, the utilities all have their own quirks and tricks, and there's narry a full set of dishes to be found.  The cutlery was abysmally dull, which I spent some time fixing.  Grandma augmented the usual fare with creamed onions.  If you've never had the pleasure, imagine a chowder composed of tiny onions, gone wrong, with a flavor ALMOST like bleu cheese...but NOT.  Grandma is absolutely in love with the things, so we all have them every year.

Fucking onions.

Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 12, 2010, 09:41:19 PM
I love creamed onions.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Richter on October 12, 2010, 10:01:31 PM
You can have 'em.  It's like a bowl of tapioca with a horrible disease that drowns it in sebaceous secretions.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 13, 2010, 12:08:54 AM
shouldn't taste anything even remotely like bleu cheese though. The cream sauce has to be made with cloves and/or allspice and a touch of sherry. I've done them at thanksgiving every year since I took over thanksgiving dinner duties and they're usually the first thing to run out.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Richter on October 13, 2010, 12:15:51 AM
Can you hook me up with a recipe?  I think it needs to forcibly replace the one that's currently being run.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on October 13, 2010, 02:41:29 AM
(http://i52.tinypic.com/5n412a.jpg)

FUCK YEAH CANADA
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 13, 2010, 02:55:03 AM
(http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/Smileys/default/icon_mad.gif)

Ouch.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Suu on October 13, 2010, 04:44:23 AM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 12, 2010, 05:11:41 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 12, 2010, 01:41:05 PM
Does it hurt or help to point out that your favorite punster's lineage traces back to some French-Canadian clans?  

May explain why I too like Tim Hortons.  

Quebecois may have some genetic flaws, but being Canadian isn't one of them.

Quebecois is it's own breed of subhuman. It's even lower than the non-French Canadians.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 13, 2010, 05:37:14 AM
Hardly! At least the Quebecois are fun at parties. The rest of Canada doesn't even allow parties.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Remington on October 13, 2010, 05:46:50 AM
Quote from: First City Hustle on October 13, 2010, 05:37:14 AM
Hardly! At least the Quebecois are fun at parties. The rest of Canada doesn't even allow parties.
Well yeah.

BC is too stoned, Alberta thinks partying is for fags and hippies, and Saskatchewan has arthritis in it's hips. Manitoba too busy fighting off the mosquitos or polar bears (depending on the season), and Ontario is too busy hating Toronto. The Maritimes are too damp, and everything up North is too cold.
Title: Re: Canadians.
Post by: Mangrove on October 14, 2010, 04:34:41 AM
 :canuck:

Born in St Johns, NFLD.

Love Tim Hortons.

I AM NOT AFRAID, BITCHES.