Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:32:17 PM

Title: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:32:17 PM
Do not question this. I have it on good merit from a really real Lithuanian that this is true.

Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Cain on October 14, 2010, 06:33:32 PM
They made Poles do all the heavy lifting and hard work, though.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:35:17 PM
Quote from: Cain on October 14, 2010, 06:33:32 PM
They made Poles do all the heavy lifting and hard work, though.

Of course they did. Lithuanians KNOW they are the superior race!

That whole bit with Hitler wanting the master race? Pssh, he was just trying to clone Lithuanians.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Cain on October 14, 2010, 06:36:28 PM
It wasn't called the Grand Duchy for nothing...
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:37:53 PM
I also have found a source that says Lithuania discovered America:

QuoteFor thousands of years the fleets of Lithuania ruled the seven seas. A fiercely war-like race, the Lithuanians all but decimated the native populations along the Baltic and Black Seas as well as the Mediterranean. To aid them in this conquest the city of Rome was founded as a trading outpost. After ruling the Mediterranean races justly and wisely for hundreds of years (See founding of Athens, founding of Sparta, founding of Constantilithuania, and Cleopatra of Lithuania) the Lithuanians cast their eyes west to new lands. They first set foot in America (Lithuanian for "New Lithuania") in 900 AD on the banks of Long Island Sound at the location of present day Mystic, CT..."

I'm not making this shit up. It's true words from a true Lithuanian.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Kurt Christ on October 14, 2010, 06:42:24 PM
Lithuanians are a front for shapeshifting Reptilians, who are, in turn, genetically engineered pawns of Lithuanians from the distant future sent back to alter history through time travel to prevent a post-apocalyptic nightmare in which the world is overrun by the Welsh.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:45:19 PM
Quote from: Vartox on October 14, 2010, 06:42:24 PM
Lithuanians are a front for shapeshifting Reptilians, who are, in turn, genetically engineered pawns of Lithuanians from the distant future sent back to alter history through time travel to prevent a post-apocalyptic nightmare in which the world is overrun by the Welsh.

OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW THAT TOO?!

You know that they say the potato is a New World vegetable? It's not. Lithuanians invented them, and sold them to the Irish in the 17th century. The Potato Famine resulted when the Lithuanians came and repossessed all of the potatoes, as the Irish are notorious for not paying for anything.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Richter on October 14, 2010, 06:52:20 PM
Quote from: Cain on October 14, 2010, 06:33:32 PM
They made Poles do all the heavy lifting and hard work, though.

Also Lithuanian.

In fact, everyone has a little Lithuanaian in them, by virtue of the fact that the Lithunanians have fucking everyone, at some point.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 14, 2010, 06:55:34 PM
Lithuania was the reason for the creation of and the dissolution of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The true capital of the USSR was Vilnius, but Moscow was used as a decoy.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: LMNO on October 14, 2010, 07:17:24 PM
Lithuania: Concrete proof of Intelligent Design.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on October 14, 2010, 07:32:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on October 14, 2010, 06:45:19 PM
Quote from: Vartox on October 14, 2010, 06:42:24 PM
Lithuanians are a front for shapeshifting Reptilians, who are, in turn, genetically engineered pawns of Lithuanians from the distant future sent back to alter history through time travel to prevent a post-apocalyptic nightmare in which the world is overrun by the Welsh.

OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW THAT TOO?!

You know that they say the potato is a New World vegetable? It's not. Lithuanians invented them, and sold them to the Irish in the 17th century. The Potato Famine resulted when the Lithuanians came and repossessed all of the potatoes, as the Irish are notorious for not paying for anything.

This is true. I never pay for anything.
Title: Re: Lithuania invented everything.
Post by: Suu on October 15, 2010, 03:27:07 PM
Did you know that Lithuania actually dug the Baltic Sea to separate themselves from the Swedes? Sweden is a Lithuanian word for "Cheesedicks".

Lithuania is also the 5th Reich, but no one knows it yet.