Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Slarti on August 15, 2004, 02:38:18 AM

Title: Eris
Post by: Slarti on August 15, 2004, 02:38:18 AM
She has come to tell me that i am free. Many years ago, before i was even aware of her consciousness, i was empty. She found me, finding my development approaching completion, but hindered by fear, dogma, misunderstanding, and mental laziness.

I had built for myself a psychic suit of armor, and i had clad myself in it. Now that i am beginning to emerge from the suit, i see that my vision is restricted, my movements clumsy and painful, my skin bruised, and my spirit is broiling in the sun.

She is chaos. She is the substance from which we build rythms. She is the spirit with which we laugh in happy anarchy. She is chaos, she is alive, and she tells me that i am free.
Title: Eris
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on August 15, 2004, 02:55:27 AM
psychic armor?


I declare Slarti as a mime!
Title: Eris
Post by: Hwarang on August 16, 2004, 04:22:21 PM
psychic armor

(http://www.imageshack.us/files/tinfoil%20hat.JPG)
Title: Eris
Post by: Zurtok Khan on August 24, 2004, 09:34:10 AM
That'd be a great thing to do for a Discordian meet-up...everyone wear a tinfoil hat and we'll meet in a mall and see what the cabbage's do when they see us running in circles, squares, and other shapes around tables in J.C. Penny's.

I wonder if the teletubbies have condums for those things on their heads...they definately pleasure each other with those.
Title: Eris
Post by: Charlemagne on August 24, 2004, 03:23:01 PM
Congratulartions, dude!

I myself, had a very dirrenft lumination. I just read the principia one day and then had it in the back of my head as "nice book to read" and one day I just realized (I was on a boat) that I had been discordian all along, and that the book was more than a joke.
Title: Eris
Post by: namu on August 24, 2004, 09:53:50 PM
I had been searching for a religion for a long time. Anarchy wasn't doing it for me, so I kind of slacked by myself, until I stumbled on a RAW book, which in turn led me to the Principia. Reading it, I understood that somewhere, there were people who were just as confused about the world as me, and that these people were willing to shake that grey world a bit, too.
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on August 24, 2004, 10:13:12 PM
i was sitting htere, reading my inquistion ccg magfazine, when i cam eupon an article abotu steve jackson's illuminati card game. it mentioned the pd, and the illuminatus! trilogy. luckily my old man had both that trilogy and shrodinger's cat was willing to lend them to me. then comign upon th epd a time later, i filled out the little form in there for inititates, printed it out, and converted to zoroasterism. it was not until some 3125 years later that i got hip and buried teh 3125 dollars in my backyard.
Title: Eris
Post by: gnimbley on August 24, 2004, 11:57:11 PM
Quote from: namuI had been searching for a religion for a long time. Anarchy wasn't doing it for me, so I kind of slacked by myself, until I stumbled on a RAW book, which in turn led me to the Principia. Reading it, I understood that somewhere, there were people who were just as confused about the world as me, and that these people were willing to shake that grey world a bit, too.

See, there was your mistake. Anarchy isn't a religion.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 05:53:23 AM
yep, it's a dessert topping.
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on August 25, 2004, 08:31:19 AM
i thought it was what teenagers are calling "being obnoxious and breaking stuff" there days...
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 08:34:57 AM
Quote from: Rev ThwackIt's a dessert topping

Quote from: pull on my earsIt's what teenagers are calling "being obnoxious and breaking stuff"

Quote from: Rev ThwackDessert topping!

Quote from: pull on my earsAnnoying teens!

Quote from: AnnouncerRelax kids, it's both.


Yes, now anarchy is both the actions of irritating youths and a taisty dessert topping. You get both forms of goodness in one title.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 08:35:55 AM
Quote from: pull on my earsi thought it was what teenagers are calling "being obnoxious and breaking stuff" there days...

No, we still call that vandalism.

Of course, I'm 7 days away from the last year of my teenage existance, so I guess I don't really count.
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on August 25, 2004, 08:54:35 AM
my bad that's probaly what we called it back in my day, course the kids 1000 or more miles from where i spent my reckless years seem to be down with the hip jive me and my bras rapped while chewing the fat.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 09:07:13 AM
Quote from: What someone said:my bad that's probaly what we called it back in my day, course the kids 1000 or more miles from where i spent my reckless years seem to be down with the hip jive me and my bras rapped while chewing the fat.

Quote from: What Eric reads:Mea Culpa, 's just odds are that before the KT event that was the current shape of things.  But to tell the truth, the ankle biters several hundred kilometres from where I was spawned and spent my formative years learning the skill of debauchery, hedonism, and violence seem to grok the eloquent speech used by my mates and I when we spent our days hungover and our nights gettin' pissed whilst chewing the gristle.  'Strewth, I swear.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 09:10:02 AM
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: What someone said:my bad that's probaly what we called it back in my day, course the kids 1000 or more miles from where i spent my reckless years seem to be down with the hip jive me and my bras rapped while chewing the fat.

Quote from: What Eric reads:Mea Culpa, 's just odds are that before the KT event that was the current shape of things.  But to tell the truth, the ankle biters several hundred kilometres from where I was spawned and spent my formative years learning the skill of debauchery, hedonism, and violence seem to grok the eloquent speech used by my mates and I when we spent our days hungover and our nights gettin' pissed whilst chewing the gristle.  'Strewth, I swear.

Dude, your retinal rejustificator is off by a few hundred years. You might want to take it in and have it upgraded.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 09:14:18 AM
Quote from: Rev Thwack
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: What someone said:my bad that's probaly what we called it back in my day, course the kids 1000 or more miles from where i spent my reckless years seem to be down with the hip jive me and my bras rapped while chewing the fat.

Quote from: What Eric reads:Mea Culpa, 's just odds are that before the KT event that was the current shape of things.  But to tell the truth, the ankle biters several hundred kilometres from where I was spawned and spent my formative years learning the skill of debauchery, hedonism, and violence seem to grok the eloquent speech used by my mates and I when we spent our days hungover and our nights gettin' pissed whilst chewing the gristle.  'Strewth, I swear.

Dude, your retinal rejustificator is off by a few hundred years. You might want to take it in and have it upgraded.

Back in Eric Land...

(http://penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040804l.jpg)
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 09:17:08 AM
hey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 09:29:13 AM
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

Not possible.  As CC killed Eric, so has CC died to become me.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 09:42:26 AM
which is exactly why I need my time ray.



Now where did I put that damn thing.....
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on August 25, 2004, 11:23:23 AM
i seem to have leant all fo mine out. wtf?
Title: Eris
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on August 25, 2004, 11:45:04 AM
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

I second that.
Title: Eris
Post by: Slarti on August 25, 2004, 01:40:13 PM
Quote from: Hotsuma
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

I second that.


i third, fourth, and fifth it.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 01:44:47 PM
Quote from: Slartibartfast
Quote from: Hotsuma
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

I second that.


i third, fourth, and fifth it.


Well, the assholes have it. Time to take your ray beam medicine.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 02:01:12 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwack
Quote from: Slartibartfast
Quote from: Hotsuma
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

I second that.


i third, fourth, and fifth it.


Well, the assholes have it. Time to take your ray beam medicine.

No!  I'll never go back!  Never, y'here!  Y'can't catch me, coppers, n'yah, see?  I got a fourty in my bedroom and a one a' those cigarette vending machines, y'here?  Never comin' out, y'here?
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 25, 2004, 02:02:47 PM
that's ok, I've gotten good at destabalizing the molecular structure of walls. Thanks for letting me know where you are though. Wasn't for sure where you were hiding.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rupert Giles on August 25, 2004, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwackthat's ok, I've gotten good at destabalizing the molecular structure of walls. Thanks for letting me know where you are though. Wasn't for sure where you were hiding.

I never actually stated where I was.  I only stated I had supplies in my bedroom, like I'd actually hide THERE.  It smells.  And it's dirty.  And it's where I do all my chemical work.  So dirty.
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 25, 2004, 11:44:22 PM
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

Not possible.  As CC killed Eric, so has CC died to become me.
Well, guess Im not married anymore... Imma widow!!!!



Who wants to be my next Hubby? :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Eris
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on August 26, 2004, 05:47:41 AM
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
No!  I'll never go back!  Never, y'here!  Y'can't catch me, coppers, n'yah, see?  I got a fourty in my bedroom and a one a' those cigarette vending machines, y'here?  Never comin' out, y'here?

you forget that a mod has third, fourthed, and fifthed it.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 26, 2004, 04:45:22 PM
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

Not possible.  As CC killed Eric, so has CC died to become me.
Well, guess Im not married anymore... Imma widow!!!!



Who wants to be my next Hubby? :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

won't be your hubby, but I will be your fuck toy.
Title: Eris
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on August 26, 2004, 04:49:05 PM
there are probably some laws against me being you hubby...
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on August 26, 2004, 11:30:51 PM
we could be married, but me being dead would probaly make it a rahter bad amrriage, what without the consumation and me being able to carry out m y husbandly duties and all, and you with your crazy eye brows and metal in your face and stuff freakign me out. it'd be like one of the great love stories of all time of coruse, but liek all good love stories it would be a tragedy, with at least one of ending up dead, and the other ending up with metal in her face and crazy eyebrows.

er i'm asssuming you still have metal in your face...  :twisted:
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 26, 2004, 11:31:20 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwack
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

Not possible.  As CC killed Eric, so has CC died to become me.
Well, guess Im not married anymore... Imma widow!!!!



Who wants to be my next Hubby? :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

won't be your hubby, but I will be your fuck toy.
well well well

february eh?
Hmmmmmmm......


::evil smile::
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 26, 2004, 11:32:11 PM
Quote from: Hotsumathere are probably some laws against me being you hubby...
thats and there is the fact we dont like each other very much....
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 26, 2004, 11:38:21 PM
Quote from: the lone space marinewe could be married, but me being dead would probaly make it a rahter bad amrriage, what without the consumation and me being able to carry out m y husbandly duties and all, and you with your crazy eye brows and metal in your face and stuff freakign me out. it'd be like one of the great love stories of all time of coruse, but liek all good love stories it would be a tragedy, with at least one of ending up dead, and the other ending up with metal in her face and crazy eyebrows.

er i'm asssuming you still have metal in your face...  :twisted:
Im dead too though

though the eye brows adn metal and creepy factor would be hard to work around
Im glad to think that I can semi-freak out Horab

thats a kinda nice feeling... :lol:
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 27, 2004, 05:45:12 AM
that's not semi-freaking out Horab.... semi-freaking out horab would be to tie him up so he cant move, toss him in the middle of a road, then drive at him in a semi.
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 28, 2004, 03:27:48 AM
i do love how you think
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on August 28, 2004, 04:03:43 AM
Quote from: Dream of the Endless

I never actually stated where I was.  I only stated I had supplies in my bedroom, like I'd actually hide THERE.  It smells.  And it's dirty.  And it's where I do all my chemical work.  So dirty.

Augh.  THAT explains why the green slime I borrowed turned blue after such a short time...
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on August 28, 2004, 08:24:01 AM
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Hotsumathere are probably some laws against me being you hubby...
thats and there is the fact we dont like each other very much....

Having read the US Code as releviticized by the so-called "Defense of Marriage Amendment" (whose actual text reads "It shall be the policy of the United States that marriage is between one heterosexual and another heterosexual, and further that any person who casts aspersions on the singing voice of the Attorney General is to be stripped of his citizenship and cast to the wild peccaries.  This supercedes all existing legislation anywhere."), I have determined that there is no requirement that all (or any, for that matter) participants be willing.

That being the case...

*Raises his hands to the sky as lighting strokes*

"By the power vested in me by the Sacred Pumelo Clench, a registered faith-based organization, I hereby pronounce you Stabby Ninja and Girl With Metal Things In Her Face.  You may now kiss the bride, groom, or whomever."
Title: Eris
Post by: gnimbley on August 28, 2004, 05:06:25 PM
Quote from: Deekoo L.

Having read the US Code as releviticized by the so-called "Defense of Marriage Amendment" (whose actual text reads "It shall be the policy of the United States that marriage is between one heterosexual and another heterosexual... "

Does this mean that two heterosexual males could get married?
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 29, 2004, 06:02:45 AM
*eyes gnimbley*


*hears wedding bells*
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 29, 2004, 04:06:29 PM
Quote from: Deekoo L.
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Hotsumathere are probably some laws against me being you hubby...
thats and there is the fact we dont like each other very much....

Having read the US Code as releviticized by the so-called "Defense of Marriage Amendment" (whose actual text reads "It shall be the policy of the United States that marriage is between one heterosexual and another heterosexual, and further that any person who casts aspersions on the singing voice of the Attorney General is to be stripped of his citizenship and cast to the wild peccaries.  This supercedes all existing legislation anywhere."), I have determined that there is no requirement that all (or any, for that matter) participants be willing.

That being the case...

*Raises his hands to the sky as lighting strokes*

"By the power vested in me by the Sacred Pumelo Clench, a registered faith-based organization, I hereby pronounce you Stabby Ninja and Girl With Metal Things In Her Face.  You may now kiss the bride, groom, or whomever."
:shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:


good fucking lord
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 29, 2004, 04:54:45 PM
looks like the fortune cookie was right.
Title: Eris
Post by: Bella on August 29, 2004, 04:59:02 PM
What are the rest of you going to get them for wedding presents?
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 29, 2004, 05:01:30 PM
a good divorce attourny
Title: Eris
Post by: Bella on August 29, 2004, 06:02:26 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwacka good divorce attourny
:twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Eris
Post by: gnimbley on August 29, 2004, 07:07:53 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwack*eyes gnimbley*


*hears wedding bells*

I think fluffy has plans for you.

:twisted:
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on August 30, 2004, 06:36:09 AM
Quote from: Rev Thwack*eyes gnimbley*


*hears wedding bells*

*Raises his hands to the sky.  The lightning fails to strike*

Bugger.  My weather machine's gone out again.

*plugs in a seventy-foot tesla coil*

*flips the switch*

By the power vested in me by PG&E, the Diablo Canyon Generating Plant, the Right Windy Reverend Sun Myung Moon, and the San Andreas Fault, I hereby declare you...*rummages through instawedding manual*
Lessee..  Count and Victim...  no, doesn't fit...  Gnome and Metaphorical Harlot of Babylon...  no, that doesn't fit either...
*flips through*  I already used Stabby Ninja and Girl With Metal Things in Her Face.  
Stabby Ninja and Fluffy Bunny...  should remember that one for later...  Stabby Ninja and outsized arthropod and/or household appliance...  who the hell wrote this thing, anyhow?  Someone with a grudge against stabby ninjas?

Um, anyway,...  I now pronounce you...  Gnome and Fuck Toy.

You may now kiss the beard.  Er, bride.

*a stray discharge from the coil hits the bright pink manual, melting the little US flag in
pink-and-lavendar with hearts instead of stars on the cover*.

:twisted:

Who's next?
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on August 30, 2004, 06:42:03 AM
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Deekoo L.

Having read the US Code as releviticized by the so-called "Defense of Marriage Amendment" (whose actual text reads "It shall be the policy of the United States that marriage is between one heterosexual and another heterosexual, and further that any person who casts aspersions on the singing voice of the Attorney General is to be stripped of his citizenship and cast to the wild peccaries.  This supercedes all existing legislation anywhere."), I have determined that there is no requirement that all (or any, for that matter) participants be willing.

That being the case...

*Raises his hands to the sky as lighting strokes*

"By the power vested in me by the Sacred Pumelo Clench, a registered faith-based organization, I hereby pronounce you Stabby Ninja and Girl With Metal Things In Her Face.  You may now kiss the bride, groom, or whomever."
:shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:


good fucking lord

#include "maniacal/cackling.h"

:twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

Sorry.  It had to be done.  The alternative would be letting people run around not getting married until they want to, and everyone knows that that discourages procreation, hence permitting impoverished third world countries to run circles around the US in both birth and infant mortality rates.
Title: Eris
Post by: gnimbley on August 30, 2004, 06:56:07 AM
ROTFL

::eyes Fuck Toy::

I really kinda of liked Gnome and Metaphorical Harlot of Babylon. Has a nice ring to it.
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on August 30, 2004, 12:15:02 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwacklooks like the fortune cookie was right.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomWhat are the rest of you going to get them for wedding presents?
Quote from: Rev Thwacka good divorce attourny



I think this is the funniest thing Ive read in years



:twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Eris
Post by: Geno0562 on August 30, 2004, 01:19:59 PM
Weddings are not of the path.
Title: Eris
Post by: Rev Thwack on August 30, 2004, 01:22:33 PM
yes, but sometimes an appropriatly placed ass kicking can be.



of course, spellcheck is not of my path.
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on September 01, 2004, 08:12:30 AM
Quote from: Geno0562Weddings are not of the path.

No, but they *are* of the Book.

*points out chapter and verse: Heretics 6:9:

"For the duty of the oxen is to tread the corn,
and the duty of the foxen is to prod the vixen,
and the duty of the path is to be trod by the righteous,
verily, therefore, what is the duty of life?"

Clearly, that indicates that the Path is of the Book.
To reject the Book is to reject the Path.
To reject the Path is to wander endlessly in the flower-fields.
Flowers are plant genitalia.

THEREFORE, by the Powers Vested in me by the fact that I am Not Wearing
Pants Under My Robe, and the Shiny Things that my lovely assistants are
pointing in the general direction of anyone who fails to Defend Marriage
by properly engaging in it in a prompt and timely fashion...

Um.  There's only ONE of you.  The Amendment clearly requires TWO people.

*signals to the bailiffs, who begin to search the crowd of audiencemembers
for qualified targets.*
Title: Eris
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on September 01, 2004, 03:11:03 PM
[Geno]
The book is not of the path
[/Geno]
Title: Eris
Post by: Delusion on September 02, 2004, 01:47:59 AM
Quote from: Hotsuma[Geno]
The book is not of the path
[/Geno]

But the Path is of the Book.
Title: Eris
Post by: fluffy on September 02, 2004, 01:53:22 AM
the path leads to the brook, which is babbling
Title: Eris
Post by: Verthaine on September 09, 2004, 09:27:44 PM
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Dream of the Endless
Quote from: Rev Thwackhey guys, anyone know where I left my time ray? Looking to go thru and regress this guy back to his CC stage.

Not possible.  As CC killed Eric, so has CC died to become me.
Well, guess Im not married anymore... Imma widow!!!!



Who wants to be my next Hubby? :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

I'll volenteer.We're both cat people.and since I am a Leo(aug.6),we can have sex 50 times a day.(lions in the wild actually do it that much)
Title: Eris
Post by: Marl Fublewonker on September 09, 2004, 09:41:15 PM
Quote from: Rev Thwackyes, but sometimes an appropriatly placed ass kicking can be.



of course, spellcheck is not of my path.

Why am I not of your path?
Title: Eris
Post by: Malaul on September 09, 2004, 11:14:00 PM
Quote from: Rev.Verthaine

I'll volenteer.We're both cat people.and since I am a Leo(aug.6),we can have sex 50 times a day.(lions in the wild actually do it that much)
IM either a gemini orra pisces depending on what day you ask me,,,
that might be fun,,,

::packs bags for New Orleans::
Title: Eris
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 10, 2004, 08:13:15 AM
Quote from: Malaul
Quote from: Rev.Verthaine

I'll volenteer.We're both cat people.and since I am a Leo(aug.6),we can have sex 50 times a day.(lions in the wild actually do it that much)
IM either a gemini orra pisces depending on what day you ask me,,,
that might be fun,,,

::packs bags for New Orleans::

it's strange. whiel ebign a masturbation enthusiast would imply that i'm down to get busy with it at teh drop fo a hat, the whole nine yards takes an awful lot of work on my part, and that tends toeb where i get my thrills from.
Title: Eris
Post by: B_M_W on October 23, 2004, 03:58:22 AM
Your a masturbation inthusiast? Did you know there are self help books for that?
Title: Eris
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 23, 2004, 04:33:41 AM
*smacks ythactha's hand for the pun of it*

doesn't Borders have the new "Masturbation for Dummies" on sale yet?

8)