I spent 30 years in a Black Iron Prison, for crimes that were never properly explained to me.
In my cell, I had a bed, a refridgerator that never seemed to completely empty out, some pills, and a wall-mounted television. The television showed me people who weren't in prison having a great time. It showed me adventurers, happy families who resolved all of their problems in an hour (less the time required for commercials), and great events in history and the modern day.
During my last 10 years in my cell, I began to wonder why I was there. What possible crime could lead to solitary in a slighty-corroded metal box? I didn't even have a window, unless you counted the TV. This began to bother me at first, and eventually filled me with an all-consuming rage.
I fashioned that rage into a hammer...A great, beastly 3 pound mallet, which I started using to drive the rivets out of the walls. This made a hell of a noise...I thought I was living inside a church bell.
But, oddly enough, when I became too exhausted to hammer, I hear a babble of distant voices from outside. I couldn't hear what they were yelling, but the tone implied encouragement. So every day, I'd hammer away for hours, and take comfort during my rest breaks by the chorus of yelling from the outside.
After a number of years, I faced the final set of rivets. In moments, certainly less than a half hour, I'd be free.
Then the television switched channels. Looking at it, I saw static, with a faint image of a person looking toward me, saying something in what appeared to be deep concern, or possibly anger. Then he pushed his face against the imprint of the screen, and I could see condensation from his breath form on the outside of the screen...I was shocked by the surrealness of the situation enough that I leaned forward so that I might hear him with what was left of my abused ear drums.
"Don't do it", he said in a voice so faint I could barely make it out, "Haven't we given you everything you need? There's nothing out there for you."
I turned from him, and picked up my mallet.
The volume on the TV suddenly increased, and I heard the man screaming at me..."NO! DON'T! YOU CAN'T BE ALLOWED OUTSIDE! YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING!"
I began to hammer on the remaining rivets, and the TV's volume increased to match, creating a cacophony that I could barely stand.
And then the last rivet was driven out. The TV went dead. And the wall fell.
I walked out of my Black Iron Prison, and saw the outside world for the first time. It was night time, it seemed, and I was on endless plain of Black Iron Prisons, and from each one, someone was yelling.
I strode over to the nearest iron block and listened. The voice was yelling "KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE! I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW!" All the other blocks were a variation on that theme.
I walked back into my prison and emptied the fridge. Armed with these supplies, I began to walk. I walked for hours and hours, and the sun never came up.
After what seemed like an eon, I was confronted with another iron wall, one so huge that it extended out of sight to the left and right of me, as well as what seemed to be an infinite distance above my head.
Exhausted, I climbed on top of the nearest iron box, and surveyed my domain.
One day, I may take a crack at that boundary wall, but I'm tired right now, and I also rather suspect I know what I'll find on the other side. But for the moment, I am King, Lord of All I Survey, and that is enough.
But I kind of miss the TV.
To be continued.
:mittens:
:mittens:
Ideas bubbling. Stand by.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 22, 2010, 05:59:57 PM
...I walked out of my Black Iron Prison, and saw the outside world for the first time. It was night time, it seemed, and I was on endless plain of Black Iron Prisons, and from each one, someone was yelling.
I strode over to the nearest iron block and listened. The voice was yelling "KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE! I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW!"...
Liked this part. Interested in seeing where this is heading.
Oh, and Mittuhns!
That gave me chills. Have you ever seen The Cube?
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on October 22, 2010, 06:59:33 PM
That gave me chills. Have you ever seen The Cube?
No. Did I just inadvertently copy someone? :x
Dear Dok Howl.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES.
Love.
LMNO.
This is awesome. Great visuals and I love the guy in the screen. More soon?
Quote from: Hover Cat on October 22, 2010, 07:42:02 PM
This is awesome. Great visuals and I love the guy in the screen. More soon?
One a day, until I've explained myself.
And no, there will be no mention of a shaggy dog, this time.
In my head I now have a vision of constantly opening boxes only to find myself lost in an even bigger box. Good stuff, Dok.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 22, 2010, 07:00:02 PM
No. Did I just inadvertently copy someone? :x
Quote from: The Who
Change it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fall that's all
But the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war
...
We don't get fooled again
(http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images/matrixreloaded63.jpg)
Quote from: Plato
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4XXItJYFKA
Seriosly watch That.
Yes you copied someone, but what you wrote was still awesome.
:mittens:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 22, 2010, 07:00:02 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on October 22, 2010, 06:59:33 PM
That gave me chills. Have you ever seen The Cube?
No. Did I just inadvertently copy someone? :x
Not really, it's just calling up similar imagery. Your story is about the Black Iron Prison(s), while Cube is more about The Machine (not calling it "The Machine", but "a headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan").
I liked your story a lot! Especially the last bit.
(below here be spoilers about the movie Cube) (Liam should read it because apparently he missed the punchline of the movie while squinting away from the splatter :) )
...
The Cube plays in a maze made of cubical rooms, some of which have horrible traps in them (it's a scifi horror movie). In fact, I read that the entire set just consisted of two cubical rooms, shot from various angles using differently coloured lights.
One additional connection, while Dok's story describes the Black Iron Prison(s), the punchline of the movie is that the Cube was created by the Machine. Created by a blind bureaucracy, perfectly summed up by this quote from the movie:
there is no conspiracy.
Nobody is in charge.
It's a headless blunder
operating under the illusion of a master plan.
Can you grasp that?
Big Brother is not watching you.
Check out some more quotes from the movie and you'll see what separates it from the average slasher scifi horror film:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Cube
(I'm not really a big fan of slasher horror myself, either)
Okay, and I just read the plot for the 1969 movie The Cube, which is closer to my story. It's about a guy stuck in a white cube, and he can't leave unless he finds his own door out. Periodically, people enter through secret doors and talk to him, and then leave again, after reminding him that he can only leave through "his" door. He never gets out.
I think that was the one Nigel was talking about, and I can see a similarity, but that story and my story had different points. I was trying to illustrate the Black Iron Prison, and the other story is about the perils of blindly believing other peoples' perceptions of reality.
Sounds like a cool movie as well! I'll try to find it.
I really like this.
Quote from: Tempest Virago on October 23, 2010, 12:29:33 AM
I really like this.
Thanks.
My head's been in a weird place, and one advantage is that I think up awful shit to post here.
Quote from: Penumbral on October 22, 2010, 11:14:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 22, 2010, 07:00:02 PM
No. Did I just inadvertently copy someone? :x
Quote from: The Who
Change it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fall that's all
But the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war
...
We don't get fooled again
(http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images/matrixreloaded63.jpg)
Quote from: Plato
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4XXItJYFKA
Seriosly watch That.
Yes you copied someone, but what you wrote was still awesome.
:mittens:
Also
Quote from: Eyedeas
ha ha... ha ha... ha ha... it is kind of a funny story
He lives in a four by two glass box
It reminds me of my head
I wish my floor would have rocks,
But it's covered with puddles instead
If I could be him, life would be great
I could erase this permanent frown
I wouldn't even be held down by my own weight
I woke up walked to the tank to hear his thoughts on yesterday
How was it? I asked
And after a tap on the glass
He looked my way, then gave me this depressed expression
Impressed, it's best just to say
Besides the tides and the grey skies, it was okay
And I said Hey mister fish you get all that you wish
You've got, nothin' to complain about while hangin' out in this bitch
Well he replied, While existence is bliss, there's so much that you miss
Besides get off the trip, happiness is just a myth.
I said Livin' in water is extremely more peaceful than
Life confined to a mind, blinded by the evil
And forced to see through these two peep holes
It seems I've redeemed freedom, not being limited by walls but
That only means I qualify as ground for the sky when it falls
That only means I qualify as ground for the sky when it falls
That only means I qualify as ground for the sky when it falls
That only means I qualify as ground for the sky when it falls
But Mr. Fish just laughed as I went on and on and on
So I interrupted his chuckle, puttin' up a middle finger
And he boldly told me it's too bad I'm such a thinker
So arrogantly I asked, How could someone think too much?
He added that insanity lingers and thoughts brought me to the brink of such
He said, You live inside a head that reminds me of my glass box
And everyone's the same; all brains are contained by your reality framed
And chained, to with the rain, its trained hard not to change
And once you see what I've explained you hit the jackpot
And at that very moment it was like my eyes really opened
The air that previously surrounded me was now an ocean
Still totally invisible except for minor pieces of debris
Then Mr. Fish pushed up to the glass and he looked just like me
My whole world spun around, I didn't understand
But I realized I was no longer a man
So I thought about what he said
And asked him what was going on
And he said, you didn't know it but you where the fish all along
He said, congratulations, you did it, you broke free
You're just a fish like the rest of humanity
Now it took me a long time to get adjusted to this tank
But now I know what I am, and so to that man I give thanks
I've always lived inside this glass box that reminds him of his head
It just goes to show ya that your mind is your own monster
Reality's what you make it, if you take it away
You're just a fish, like me, swimming in the powdered water
RIP Eyedeas (November 9, 1981 – October 16, 2010) Discordian Saint.
LOVE THIS
sh*t DOk, THANKS!!
I'm digging it. Need to reflect back a bit on it all.
Were the others yelling encouragement, Plussed at the concept of an escaping underdog, only to turn hostile and ornery at the suggestion they come out to join you, or were they always angry at the noise? (Though part of me suspects it doesnt make a difference.)
Quote from: Richter on October 23, 2010, 05:36:02 AM
I'm digging it. Need to reflect back a bit on it all.
Were the others yelling encouragement, Plussed at the concept of an escaping underdog, only to turn hostile and ornery at the suggestion they come out to join you, or were they always angry at the noise? (Though part of me suspects it doesnt make a difference.)
They were always angry at the noise, but it really doesn't matter.
Totally cool story. :D
:mittens:
It does remind me of The Cube, imagery-wise, but apart from that it's something totally different. I want to see where this goes.
I like this a lot. Dismal. The condensation on the TV screen was a really nice touch.
I'm listening to some of RWHN's music in the background....They compliment each other amazingly well.
Quote from: Sister_Gothique on October 28, 2010, 08:21:43 PM
I like this a lot. Dismal. The condensation on the TV screen was a really nice touch.
I'm listening to some of RWHN's music in the background....They compliment each other amazingly well.
I've offered to work with him, but he says I'm not allowed in his state, for "genetic reasons".
Bump for use elsewhere.