Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:41:25 PM

Title: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:41:25 PM
Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on October 28, 2010, 07:42:30 PM
It's quicker this way.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: eighteen buddha strike on October 28, 2010, 07:43:50 PM
I cant help it, I have problems.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:44:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on October 28, 2010, 07:42:30 PM
It's quicker this way.

Please expand on that.  Sacrificing safety AND proper values isn't excused by getting it done by the end of the day.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:45:03 PM
Quote from: eighteen buddha strike on October 28, 2010, 07:43:50 PM
I cant help it, I have problems.

Spare me.  Your oompaloompa monkey problems are not Our concern. 

I expect a more detailed response. 

Why can't you be more like the others?  They never give me these problems.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on October 28, 2010, 07:46:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:44:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on October 28, 2010, 07:42:30 PM
It's quicker this way.

Please expand on that.  Sacrificing safety AND proper values isn't excused by getting it done by the end of the day.

I'm taking all necessary precautions and am saving the company money. Quicker doesn't mean less safe if there are several unnecessary steps. Plus this screwdriver is more than sufficient for my equipment needs.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Sister_Gothique on October 28, 2010, 07:47:27 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:45:03 PM
Quote from: eighteen buddha strike on October 28, 2010, 07:43:50 PM
I cant help it, I have problems.

Spare me.  Your oompaloompa monkey problems are not Our concern. 

I expect a more detailed response. 

Why can't you be more like the others?  They never give me these problems.
Or we just get away with it. *nodnod*

Well....except me. I just can't help being at fault for all things wrong in Tucson.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: AFK on October 28, 2010, 07:47:54 PM
The other way was chaffing something awful.  
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Sister_Gothique on October 28, 2010, 07:49:42 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 28, 2010, 07:47:54 PM
The other way was chaffing something awful.  
At least he didn't take out the straps this time. Be thankful.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Disco Pickle on October 28, 2010, 07:49:59 PM
after awhile, doing it the same old way gets boring..

you gotta mix it up to keep things interesting.

besides, THEY'VE FORCED ME INTO DOING IT THIS WAY

it's all THEIR fault.

I'm just a victim of circumstance
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Freeky on October 28, 2010, 07:54:11 PM
You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

The whole thing is bogus. The system, the procedures, the reasoning, all of it! It makes me SICK. SICK I TELL YOU! So I contrived to do it this way, to show the others that maybe it doesn't have to be like You want it. It can instead be a thing of beauty, of love, fun, and learning experiencces. It can be GOOD instead of Corporate.

You know what? You can all suck my big, heavy Meathammah.

Your move. Sir.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2010, 07:55:14 PM
Because when I do it this way, it gives me an erection.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Sister_Gothique on October 28, 2010, 07:55:28 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on October 28, 2010, 07:54:11 PM
You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

The whole thing is bogus. The system, the procedures, the reasoning, all of it! It makes me SICK. SICK I TELL YOU! So I contrived to do it this way, to show the others that maybe it doesn't have to be like You want it. It can instead be a thing of beauty, of love, fun, and learning experiencces. It can be GOOD instead of Corporate.

You know what? You can all suck my big, heavy Meathammah.

Your move. Sir.
May I suggest hostile takeover?
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: eighteen buddha strike on October 28, 2010, 07:58:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:45:03 PM
Quote from: eighteen buddha strike on October 28, 2010, 07:43:50 PM
I cant help it, I have problems.

Spare me.  Your oompaloompa monkey problems are not Our concern. 

I expect a more detailed response. 

Why can't you be more like the others?  They never give me these problems.

I tried, I really did, but I don't think I can keep taking the PILLS.
I did, for a while, and I really appreciate how they turn down the volume...
but I keep losing time, and everything tastes like cardboard.
Its not that I want to feel, really, I mean it.
... but they were interfering with my performance at work.
... and I dont know what I'd have to think if they had to shut off my box.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Jimmy Chitwood on October 28, 2010, 07:59:09 PM
Bill O'Reilly told me to
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 28, 2010, 08:04:39 PM
I was doing it that way before everybody started thinking it was cool.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 28, 2010, 08:06:47 PM
Because my head hurts and I'm full of rage.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Cramulus on October 28, 2010, 08:07:24 PM
Homer:    Kids, there's three ways to do things.  The right way, the wrong way, and the Homer Simpson way!
Bart:     Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer:    Yeah, but faster!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: the last yatto on October 28, 2010, 08:10:47 PM
That's the way we did it at my last job
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Telarus on October 28, 2010, 08:15:16 PM
The instructions were definitely not in english, but I'm only doing it as they showed in the illustrations!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on October 28, 2010, 08:19:42 PM
Because I want to get it done.  The approved method was written by people who have never done the job themselves and who don't have a clue what is and isn't required to get it done.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Payne on October 28, 2010, 08:20:50 PM
QuoteI'm only dancing 'cause I can't stop shaking ~ John Spencer

I have no idea what you're talking about Dok.

I always approve my actions and the methods by which I do them.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Phox on October 28, 2010, 08:21:03 PM
Because when I do it this way, it gives LMNO an erection.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Cramulus on October 28, 2010, 08:21:39 PM
that's largely incidental
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Sister_Gothique on October 28, 2010, 08:26:29 PM
Quote from: Phox on October 28, 2010, 08:21:03 PM
Because when I do it this way, it gives LMNO an erection.
I can see no better reason than this.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: LMNO on October 28, 2010, 08:28:00 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on October 28, 2010, 08:21:39 PM
that's largely incidental

Quiet, you.



Do continue.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Don Coyote on October 28, 2010, 08:33:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:41:25 PM
Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.

I am doing it the right way. You need to get the latest revisions. I can see that you have missed the last 12 updates to the technical manual. This is a gross breach of safety.

Sincercly,
Coyote
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Kai on October 28, 2010, 08:36:00 PM
Don't you know? This way is the new black. The approved method is so last year.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Dysnomia on October 28, 2010, 08:37:43 PM
This IS the proper way.

You're the one doin it wrong Mr!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 28, 2010, 08:59:25 PM
This way was good enough for the Founders, so its good enough for me! Or do you Hate America?!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Freeky on October 28, 2010, 09:03:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.


You can't fire me. Know why? CUZ I HAVE CONNECTIONS FURTHER UP! TAKE THAT BITCH!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Phox on October 28, 2010, 09:08:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

Does this mean I used to be gainfully employed?
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

I'll still be dancing whether you pay me or not.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:15:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

I'll still be dancing whether you pay me or not.

THAT CAN BE REMEDIED.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:17:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:15:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

I'll still be dancing whether you pay me or not.

THAT CAN BE REMEDIED.

Bring it old man  :argh!:
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:19:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:17:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:15:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Payne on October 28, 2010, 09:10:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

I'll still be dancing whether you pay me or not.

THAT CAN BE REMEDIED.

Bring it old man  :argh!:

Okay, you asked for it.

I'm NOT going to blow up Scotland.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: The Wizard on October 28, 2010, 09:21:36 PM
I don't work here.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:22:11 PM
Quote from: James Semaj on October 28, 2010, 09:21:36 PM
I don't work here.

Well, that makes things a little easier, paperwork-wise, doesn't it?
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: The Wizard on October 28, 2010, 09:22:49 PM
QuoteWell, that makes things a little easier, paperwork-wise, doesn't it?

Not really, since I'd like to file a complaint.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:24:01 PM
Quote from: James Semaj on October 28, 2010, 09:22:49 PM
QuoteWell, that makes things a little easier, paperwork-wise, doesn't it?

Not really, since I'd like to file a complaint.

The complaint form for Canadians is kept next to the pool on the roof.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: The Wizard on October 28, 2010, 09:24:45 PM
I'm not a damn Canadian!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:27:57 PM
Quote from: James Semaj on October 28, 2010, 09:24:45 PM
I'm not a damn Canadian!

Yes, I'm often told that.

The form is available on the roof, next to the pool.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: The Wizard on October 28, 2010, 09:31:16 PM
I'm not going to go up to the roof to get the damn complaint form! It's your fault I'm here in the first place!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 09:32:36 PM
Quote from: James Semaj on October 28, 2010, 09:31:16 PM
I'm not going to go up to the roof to get the damn complaint form! It's your fault I'm here in the first place!

Oh, look...It's my break time.

Please take a seat, I'll be back in a jiffy.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: The Wizard on October 28, 2010, 09:33:36 PM
Fine. But that better be one hell of a jiffy!
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on October 28, 2010, 09:55:03 PM
Frankly, I have some concerns about the approved method.  Mostly with the upper management.  The uh, UPPER upper management.  Don't feign ignorance.  I've seen the CEO on his knees, and I'm not talking about the photos floating around.  I've seen him, trance-like, leading the board just before their meetings.  I've seen them at the parties, nursing those drinks for an awfully long time and looking very, very hungry.

I've seen the idols.  They toss the idols around as thank-yous and as congratulations.  They keep stacks of them in their pockets and collect more all the time, only to happily throw it around again.  And they've bought, the sorry bastards.  It's the ones that bought into it the most that are the happiest, with big fucking grins on them and hungry eyes like the ones they want to be, with smaller stacks of idols that they don't pass around as much but goddamn do they wish they could.

They wrote the approved method.  And I have to play their fucking game.  That's why I've decided to do things the way I do.  I don't want hungry eyes and I want my grin to be real.  If anything, I want that grin to be a warning, a fucking chimpanzee grin that idolaters can look upon and know it as a challenge.

There's more like me, too.  Look around at the next party.  Look at the veins on their necks and their tense stances, congenial at quick glance but always looking with their hungry eyes to the next highest collector of idols, to the next they seek to trample.  Pay them no mind, their facade.  You'll find the rest.  Talk to them about approved methods.

I quit.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Phox on October 28, 2010, 10:38:34 PM
I need to speak with the manager of whatever department I worked for. I need a reference for my applications for a new job.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Salty on October 28, 2010, 10:57:29 PM
Well I'm glad I'm fired.
I am a singularly beautiful snowflake, and my work is an exression of that uniqueness.
If it's not valued here I'm sure I can find a better place.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 29, 2010, 12:25:24 AM
The approved methods run directly counter to the directions I received in the email from corporate.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Don Coyote on October 29, 2010, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 29, 2010, 01:07:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on October 29, 2010, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Dysnomia on October 29, 2010, 03:55:56 AM
IM GOING TO SUE YOU FOR DISCRIMINATION!


:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Don Coyote on October 29, 2010, 04:00:35 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 29, 2010, 01:07:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on October 29, 2010, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.

Even the two hot temps?

FUCK YU0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 29, 2010, 04:01:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on October 29, 2010, 04:00:35 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 29, 2010, 01:07:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on October 29, 2010, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 08:59:37 PM
Right.  You're all fired.

Can't fire me. I have tenure AND incriminating photos of everyone in HR.

Yeah, I thought of that, and had all the HR people thrown off the roof.

Even the two hot temps?

FUCK YU0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

I transferred the one they call "Yellow Pages" to AR/AP.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Rumckle on October 29, 2010, 07:22:16 AM
The last time I followed the approved method Johnny Cash died, and that day I swore 'never again will I use the approved method'.


(also, I think the approved method is illegal in this country)
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 29, 2010, 08:20:18 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:41:25 PM
Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.

IT'S A SKIN CONDITION! GOD DAMN IT!

(that's my new excuse for everything at work)
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on October 29, 2010, 08:36:39 AM
I didn't realize that there was an "approved method" of defecating in the CEO's drawer?
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Jasper on October 29, 2010, 08:17:37 PM
Dok, you told me to do it this way.  Or at least, it looked like you, except lumpier- and it was demanding water with sugar.

Umm...  :(
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on October 29, 2010, 08:23:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 28, 2010, 07:41:25 PM
Why are you doing it that way, rather than by the approved method?

Dok,
Giving you a chance to state your case.

Because the approved method is a funsucking method of apocolyptic proportions. 

When you hired me, you said that if I found a way that was more fun but accomplished the same results I could do it that way as long I carried a seperate insurance rider. 

At that time I did ask about future ramifications and you told me not to worry about it......




Dok, I'm worried  :sad:

Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 29, 2010, 09:02:48 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on October 29, 2010, 08:17:37 PM
Dok, you told me to do it this way.  Or at least, it looked like you, except lumpier- and it was demanding water with sugar.

Umm...  :(

That exact scene zapped by no more than an hour ago when I was switching the TV to the external channel to watch some stuff on my laptop.

Weird.
Title: Re: ATTN, PD: Response Required.
Post by: Jasper on October 29, 2010, 09:08:20 PM
I swear it wasn't me.