I don't really get along with men.
Ive been a misandrist for many many years. Though maybe that's not the right word, it's not hatred exactly. More like paralysing fear. It manifests as cold indifference, a wall of vague contempt for anyone with extra meaty bits between their legs. Beneath that lies a fear I can't describe because everytime I think about men my mind gets all tangled.
Coming here, with a bunch of strapping, often competitive, very confident in word and deed men has been nervewracking for me, but also eyeopening.
Anyhow, considering my feelings toward men in general one could see the difficulty in being sexually attracted to them. Not to mention the fact that I AM ONE. I've never had a boyfriend and those that thought they were were treated poorly by me in many ways. I got to enjoy the power I could exert over men using my sexuality MUCH more than actual sex with them.
So, in a constant battle to fight my near instinctual habits of avoiding, belittling, ignoring, and rejecting men I have made a special effort to get to know men better, to try to understand them better, to understand myself better.
So I gay.com, and manhunt, and now grindr it because I can't manage to talk to them in meatspace without my tongue turning into a shoe. And now, with babies, and the baggage of being a 26 year old without ever having a boyfriend and unable to ever give up on women...I find a man.
He's my type, short-n-hairy, funny, cute, confident and capable.
He knows just how to talk to me.
He's perfect.
He's....a...mother....FUCKING.....FURRY! :crankey:
I am so confused by your post.
So
Confused!
I've thought about ranting it out before but I always get stuck on the title.
"Notes from a Recovering Male Misandrist"
or
"Apologies from a Recovering Male Misandrist."
and then NOTHING.
I have a hard time meeting men, looking at men, talking to men. Day to day throughout my life I've seen them as big, shapeless voids best to be ignored. Granted, I've gotten a lot better.
But any kind of connection is just a big blank white wall. And when I get closer to that blank wall I get more and more angry.
Now, I keep on towards it because I think maybe it's important, or maybe not a thing to healthily ignore. Just more anger.
Example: I hate having male bosses. The idea of a man telling me what to do is instantly repellent to me. I'll do whatever's asked with no complaint with a female boss. When a guy tells me what to do every single cell in my body tenses and I get suspicious and resentful and angry.
It's all so disjointed.
I began looking for men, one's to, I dunno, talk to. Do things with. Feel something for. Because it's something I try to avoid. I began avoiding "safe" men I could easily manage.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Something, tall, nerdy, has lots of robots, but awwdamn, he has terrible pervert etiquette. Suspicion.
Nothing.
Nothing.
OH HAY. I meet a guy, nerdy, bearish (whoops), has lots of pulp scifi, other things.
Ok.
All right.
FUCKING FURRY. Goddammit.
I'm down for a lot of fucking programs.
I never say this about kinks, even the gross one's because I feel it's rude.
But...ewww.
It's frustrating.
I'm going to see what's there anyway because I have to.
Maybe I'll be surprised.
But we're talking about THIS:(NSFW)
http://gayfurry.net/
Do any of you spags like that?
'splain! Should I be more open minded about this?
Did that lessen the confusion?
I dunno, I think that's a hard place to be in, and I've known a lot of women who have similar trouble with women. I want to talk about it more, but I'm so tired right now I'll have to get back to it tomorrow.
As far as the furry goes...
I know everyone hates furries, but, if you like this guy, if you connect with this guy, maybe... just maybe... it would be worth it to set aside this cultural prejudice we have (and I say "we" because I have it too) and just get to know him?
Hating furries is like hating the french.
It's good fun but don't let your prejudice make you mistreat actual people.
As Nigel said, its just a cultural prejudice, like the prejudice against crossdressing.
Wait, are you trying to say that furries are people? :lulz:
Give it a go, but draw the line at going with him to any furry events if that's weird for you.
Also, we may have to womp you for this. (Note, my womp of you as a gay unicorn is now kinda funnier as a result of this)
ALTY -
this is further, concrete evidence that
YOU RULE!!
Huh. I tend to have the opposite problem: I like women, but they tend to hate me. I mean, vitriolically DESPISE me. And this is not from close acquaintance, either (well, some if it has been...but that was a while ago).
I applaud your efforts, man, but really, don't lose yourself or your sanity in the process. I'd say instead of actively LOOKIN, just leave yourself OPEN in case the right "happy" meeting comes along...
I don't hate furries. I think of them the same way I think of christians:
That's nice but don't get any on me.
And just like Jesus the thought of, and INTENSE VISUALS of, anthropomorphic action just turns me off. I think of the way people think of cross-dressers which is usually ignorant and reactionary. And then I think about how complicated sex is with humans (see: crossdressers) and have to wonder why we have to bring cute little animals into the equation. I fail to see why. Why? WHY?!
The rallying cry "Furries are people too!" is just too :horrormirth: for words.
If nothing else, it promises to be an interesting experience.
You may have point there, Jenne.
Nigel, do tell.
It depends on how deep into the furry subculture he is. If he wears a tail/whisker/ears/paws in public, GET THE FUCK OUT.
Naw.
Well, maybe. I don't know yet.
But that's a good rule of thumb.
He does own some yiff (how that word fills me with dread. It sounds like an effeminate, but undeniably male, bark of terror) comics. Blech. He sent me a picture because I couldn't quite piece together what he was saying. I think I was choosing not to.
Saw aforementioned breed of furry in barnes and noble week before last in Co Springs: (http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/large/184905918.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1289373033&Signature=AmaFf2jCQPOgfH4fOarV9eryxvM%3D)
alt, u must get a gorrila or some other fur suit and go crazy. maybe