Okay...paganism aside...
http://pncminnesota.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/rape-survivor-devasted-by-tsa-enhanced-pat-down/
QuoteComing back from Chicago, Celeste, like increasing numbers of travelers, was forced to make a difficult choice – either allow strangers to see her naked or allow strangers to touch and squeeze her breasts and groin in full view of other travels and TSA agents. "This was a nightmare come to life," Celeste says, "I said I didn't want them to see me naked and the agent started yelling Opt out- we have an opt here. Another agent took me aside and said they would have to pat me down. He told me he was going to touch my genitals and asked if I wouldn't rather just go through the scanner, that it would be less humiliating for me. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening. I kept saying I don't want any of this to happen. I was whispering please don't do this, please, please."
I did check for alternative sources on the "enhanced pat down", and there's plenty, including the TSA blog which basically says "If you don't want to be seen, get a room".
http://blog.tsa.gov/2010/08/enhanced-pat-downs.html
So either I get seen naked in the full-body scanner, or I get my boobs groped when I fly. Should be a festival holiday season, indeed. But we do this for America™ and our Freedom™, right?
I think what they are basically doing here is to make the pat down procedure so unbearable, embarrassing, etc., that everyone decides to go through the scanners. Social engineering at work.
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
I dont see what her being a Wiccan or a rape-victim has to do with it.
If it's horrible and humiliating (and it certainly seems to be the case), it doesn't need those extra qualifiers for people to notice.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:42:00 PM
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
Voluntarily publicly stripping for a strip search? :lulz:
Embarrassing was last year when the lady who patted me down in Tampa International asked if I was pregnant...and then swiftly tried to cover it up by saying it was "okay" to be bloated after Christmas. This year, I get to show them my stretch marks and openly admit to being a fat ass.
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 09, 2010, 04:45:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:42:00 PM
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
Voluntarily publicly stripping for a strip search? :lulz:
You bet. Can you imagine the reaction from the TSA?
"No, I'm good. Let's just do this, ok?" ZZZZZIP.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:46:49 PM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 09, 2010, 04:45:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:42:00 PM
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
Voluntarily publicly stripping for a strip search? :lulz:
You bet. Can you imagine the reaction from the TSA?
"No, I'm good. Let's just do this, ok?" ZZZZZIP.
:lulz:
I wish I had the guts to do that. As it is, I don't think I will be flying anytime soon. Neither option of either going through the porn scanner or being groped in public is acceptable to me.
Quote from: Niamh on November 09, 2010, 04:49:17 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:46:49 PM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 09, 2010, 04:45:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:42:00 PM
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
Voluntarily publicly stripping for a strip search? :lulz:
You bet. Can you imagine the reaction from the TSA?
"No, I'm good. Let's just do this, ok?" ZZZZZIP.
:lulz:
I wish I had the guts to do that. As it is, I don't think I will be flying anytime soon. Neither option of either going through the porn scanner or being groped in public is acceptable to me.
I think it's worth me getting a large gauge clitoral piercing.
I believe this is one of few aceptable protest uses of vacuum pumping your genitals to horrific size.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 09, 2010, 04:40:31 PM
I think what they are basically doing here is to make the pat down procedure so unbearable, embarrassing, etc., that everyone decides to go through the scanners. Social engineering at work.
It would seem that the logical course of action is to
enjoy the groping.
Quote from: Remington on November 09, 2010, 05:00:43 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 09, 2010, 04:40:31 PM
I think what they are basically doing here is to make the pat down procedure so unbearable, embarrassing, etc., that everyone decides to go through the scanners. Social engineering at work.
It would seem that the logical course of action is to enjoy the groping.
(http://images2.memegenerator.net/Foul-Bachelor-Frog/ImageMacro/3564908/Have-capsule-of-warm-sugar-water-that-erupts-when-squeezed-watch-the-show.jpg)
I think I'll pop a viagra before I go through the line.
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 05:08:10 PM
I think I'll pop a viagra before I go through the line.
If you combine that with the warm sugar water idea you have a hilarious combination :lulz:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 09, 2010, 04:42:00 PM
The proper action is to immediately begin disrobing in public.
You want embarassing? I'll give you embarassing.
It occurs to me it would be quite the attention grabber to do this with some thick black lettering on your body saying something like "FOR YOUR PROTECTION" or "SECURITY AT ALL COSTS."
Might be the kind of stunt to finally bring this airport security business to a head.
"COMPLY."
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 09, 2010, 05:18:36 PM
Might be the kind of stunt to finally bring this airport security business to a head.
:lmnuendo:
:lulz:
Really, a very effective campaign could be done with a half dozen people or so, and this is just the kind of issue that would get backing from major civil liberties organizations for court funding.
Set up a group to arrive in the same line, and calmy, in unision begin to disrobe and wait their turn as if nothing is happening.
Falun Dong
:lulz:
Get a visibly pagan, flabby person to introduce the terror of the "Three fold law"
Quote from: Richter on November 09, 2010, 05:26:34 PM
Set up a group to arrive in the same line, and calmy, in unision begin to disrobe and wait their turn as if nothing is happening.
Pretty much what I was thinking. Have someone there for photos. Maybe try and get more than one major airport. Maybe tip off the local news.
Hey, didn't Dimo say he was alright with some jail time recently? :lulz:
Quote from: Suu on November 09, 2010, 04:34:10 PM
Okay...paganism aside...
http://pncminnesota.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/rape-survivor-devasted-by-tsa-enhanced-pat-down/
QuoteComing back from Chicago, Celeste, like increasing numbers of travelers, was forced to make a difficult choice – either allow strangers to see her naked or allow strangers to touch and squeeze her breasts and groin in full view of other travels and TSA agents. "This was a nightmare come to life," Celeste says, "I said I didn't want them to see me naked and the agent started yelling Opt out- we have an opt here. Another agent took me aside and said they would have to pat me down. He told me he was going to touch my genitals and asked if I wouldn't rather just go through the scanner, that it would be less humiliating for me. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening. I kept saying I don't want any of this to happen. I was whispering please don't do this, please, please."
I did check for alternative sources on the "enhanced pat down", and there's plenty, including the TSA blog which basically says "If you don't want to be seen, get a room".
http://blog.tsa.gov/2010/08/enhanced-pat-downs.html
So either I get seen naked in the full-body scanner, or I get my boobs groped when I fly. Should be a festival holiday season, indeed. But we do this for America™ and our Freedom™, right?
This is the America that the American people first screamed for, then tolerated.
And it's going to get worse, out of sheer inertia.
So we've basically reduced the message of the founders to "I'm going to have to touch your genitals".
Every message worth saying can be condensed down to "I'm going to have to touch your genitals".
Resistance is futile:
QuoteAt BWI, I told the officer who directed me to the back-scatter that I preferred a pat-down. I did this in order to see how effective the manual search would be. When I made this request, a number of TSA officers, to my surprise, began laughing. I asked why. One of them -- the one who would eventually conduct my pat-down -- said that the rules were changing shortly, and that I would soon understand why the back-scatter was preferable to the manual search. I asked him if the new guidelines included a cavity search. "No way. You think Congress would allow that?"
I answered, "If you're a terrorist, you're going to hide your weapons in your anus or your vagina." He blushed when I said "vagina."
"Yes, but starting tomorrow, we're going to start searching your crotchal area" -- this is the word he used, "crotchal" -- and you're not going to like it."
"What am I not going to like?" I asked.
"We have to search up your thighs and between your legs until we meet resistance," he explained.
"Resistance?" I asked.
"Your testicles," he explained.
'That's funny," I said, "because 'The Resistance' is the actual name I've given to my testicles."
He answered, "Like 'The Situation,' that guy from 'Jersey Shore?'"
Yes, exactly, I said. (I used to call my testicles "The Insurgency," but those assholes in Iraq ruined the term.)
http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/10/for-the-first-time-the-tsa-meets-resistance/65390/ (http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/10/for-the-first-time-the-tsa-meets-resistance/65390/)
I'm actually just hoping this, combined with more expensive airfare, leads to decreased interest in flying and airline bankruptcies.
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Feds admit to saving (at the least) thousands of images from body scanners (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/09/feds-admit-to-storin.html)
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
USE THE BLACK RUSSIAN! IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF THE
CLERGY TSA!
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Hmmm
Maybe I should do that as well. :evil:
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 07:15:02 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Hmmm
Maybe I should do that as well. :evil:
:spittake:
I am in the presence of genius. I owe both of you a drink.
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 07:15:02 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Hmmm
Maybe I should do that as well. :evil:
:lulz:
If I find a deal on buying more than one, I'll get one for you.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 09, 2010, 05:35:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on November 09, 2010, 05:26:34 PM
Set up a group to arrive in the same line, and calmy, in unision begin to disrobe and wait their turn as if nothing is happening.
Pretty much what I was thinking. Have someone there for photos. Maybe try and get more than one major airport. Maybe tip off the local news.
Hey, didn't Dimo say he was alright with some jail time recently? :lulz:
I have no qualms with getting nude in public...
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:18:49 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 07:15:02 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Hmmm
Maybe I should do that as well. :evil:
:lulz:
If I find a deal on buying more than one, I'll get one for you.
Sweeeeet!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 09, 2010, 04:40:31 PM
I think what they are basically doing here is to make the pat down procedure so unbearable, embarrassing, etc., that everyone decides to go through the scanners. Social engineering at work.
Apparently this is actually the case, according to this article:
http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/10/for-the-first-time-the-tsa-meets-resistance/65390/
QuoteI asked him if he was looking forward to conducting the full-on pat-downs. "Nobody's going to do it," he said, "once they find out that we're going to do."
In other words, people, when faced with a choice, will inevitably choose the Dick-Measuring Device over molestation? "That's what we're hoping for. We're trying to get everyone into the machine." He called over a colleague. "Tell him what you call the back-scatter," he said. "The Dick-Measuring Device," I said. "That's the truth," the other officer responded.
and another article in the same series: http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/11/-are-any-parts-of-your-body-sore-asks-the-man-from-tsa/65482/
I'm so going to wear a prosthetic, and when the TSA agent gets to my junk, I'm going to smile at them and say "So how do you like working here?" in a totally conversational tone.
... also, only thing the terrorists have to do now is to strap their bombs in the underwear of underage kids.
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
Boy am I glad I fly on the company jet!!!
i think the cheapest flights at seatac are commuters to Portland and Spokane :fnord:
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 08:30:00 PM
I'm so going to wear a prosthetic, and when the TSA agent gets to my junk, I'm going to smile at them and say "So how do you like working here?" in a totally conversational tone.
Almost makes you want to book the cheapest roundtrip flight you can find just to fuck with them.
If I had money to spare, maybe I would. :lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 08:30:00 PM
I'm so going to wear a prosthetic, and when the TSA agent gets to my junk, I'm going to smile at them and say "So how do you like working here?" in a totally conversational tone.
"By the way, that thing holds WAY more than 3oz of liquid, is that gonna be a problem?"
Quote from: Alty on November 09, 2010, 10:26:51 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 09, 2010, 08:30:00 PM
I'm so going to wear a prosthetic, and when the TSA agent gets to my junk, I'm going to smile at them and say "So how do you like working here?" in a totally conversational tone.
"By the way, that thing holds WAY more than 3oz of liquid, is that gonna be a problem?"
:lulz: to this, the TSA, and Amurrica, god bless ye.
Looks like there are concerns about the safety of backscatter machines: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126833083
wow so much thinking a flight to Spokane would be under a hundred dollars
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 09, 2010, 07:14:33 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
USE THE BLACK RUSSIAN! IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF THE CLERGY TSA!
This, and cut out letters in aluminum foil and tape them to your chest to spell out "HEY LADIES!"
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 10, 2010, 08:12:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 09, 2010, 07:14:33 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 09, 2010, 07:13:44 PM
Since I fly quite often, I imagine this will affect me probably more than anyone else here.
I've decided to buy a very large "cheater" and demand the pat-down search. If they're gonna fondle my junk, they're at least going to come away impressed.
USE THE BLACK RUSSIAN! IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF THE CLERGY TSA!
This, and cut out letters in aluminum foil and tape them to your chest to spell out "HEY LADIES!"
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"he machine's manufacturer, Rapiscan"
Is that pronounced Rapey Scan?
Quote from: Ratatosk on November 10, 2010, 08:58:56 PM
"he machine's manufacturer, Rapiscan"
Is that pronounced Rapey Scan?
:lulz: It is now.
Quote from: Ratatosk on November 10, 2010, 08:58:56 PM
"he machine's manufacturer, Rapiscan"
Is that pronounced Rapey Scan?
:lulz:
I might be traveling to Connecticut in March sometime and I'm so doing this.
I can't wait until the next time I have to fly in the States... I really don't mind someone fondling my junk at all, male or female. I am going to do my best to make certain THEY are the ones made uncomfortable by it.
"Hey, don't stop now... it was just getting good."
Try and get the searcher's name and number, then wail and cry out "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" when they refuse? :lulz:
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on November 10, 2010, 09:25:35 PM
Try and get the searcher's name and number, then wail and cry out "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" when they refuse? :lulz:
Better yet, before consenting get their Name and BADGE number. Then in the moment cry out, "OH Agent_4550917!!!!"
http://news.cnet.com/8301-31921_3-20012583-281.html
WHEEEE!
Relevant. (http://www.reddit.com/r/OperationGrabAss)
Quote from: Ratatosk on November 10, 2010, 08:58:56 PM
"he machine's manufacturer, Rapiscan"
Is that pronounced Rapey Scan?
:spittake:
For any of our obese and/or geriatric posters, I strongly recommend taking flights and opting out of the scanners and then insisting on public searches and strongly encouraging your TSA agent not to neglect the fat rolls/wrinkles, as you may be concealing something.
You only say that because you're morbidly obese and confined to a rascal scooter.
ETA: No shit, I've actually met TTM/MGD/7GP and dude has got to weigh over 600 lbs. and he can STILL kick a hipster in the solar plexus from his motorized chair.
It's not my fault that all I can afford is calorie laden foods and it's not my fault my joints have fallen to medical problems. It's only fair that my people put themselves to use! Just because we're morbidly obese doesn't mean we're useless, as evidenced by my putting a hipster through a cinderblock wall with nothing more than my cankles and a pair of Lowa Tibets.
We're fat for freedom!
http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/exposed-bollywood-heartthrob-makes-mockery-of-australiabound-nude-airport-scanners-20100210-nqds.html
I love where this is going.
http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/fleshmob-strips-off-to-protest-body-scans-20100114-m8ii.html
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 11, 2010, 03:44:40 AM
http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/fleshmob-strips-off-to-protest-body-scans-20100114-m8ii.html
"Be a good citizen - drop your pants"
:lulz:
Too bad if I did anything that extreme to protest this kinda of shit bein gdone, bad thing wuodl happen to me, and I kinda like not being in trouble and what rank I have.
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 11, 2010, 04:14:35 AM
Too bad if I did anything that extreme to protest this kinda of shit bein gdone, bad thing wuodl happen to me, and I kinda like not being in trouble and what rank I have.
I'm going to write and ask the TSA if I can request BOTH forms of search. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 11, 2010, 04:15:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 11, 2010, 04:14:35 AM
Too bad if I did anything that extreme to protest this kinda of shit bein gdone, bad thing wuodl happen to me, and I kinda like not being in trouble and what rank I have.
I'm going to write and ask the TSA if I can request BOTH forms of search. :lulz:
Ohhh I LIKE this!
FIGHT THE FUCKING POWER
http://johnnyedge.blogspot.com/2010/11/these-events-took-place-roughly-between.html
Quote from: Lysergic on November 15, 2010, 07:46:25 AM
FIGHT THE FUCKING POWER
http://johnnyedge.blogspot.com/2010/11/these-events-took-place-roughly-between.html
Hahaha I'm listening to the footage from that right now.
(http://www.boingboing.net/201011111141.jpg)
OH!
:lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :lulz:
Oh man the TSA is never going to live this down. Ever.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 11, 2010, 04:15:23 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 11, 2010, 04:14:35 AM
Too bad if I did anything that extreme to protest this kinda of shit bein gdone, bad thing wuodl happen to me, and I kinda like not being in trouble and what rank I have.
I'm going to write and ask the TSA if I can request BOTH forms of search. :lulz:
Sounds like a sexy blind date. ;)
If I'd been that guy I would have been pretty curious about what would happen if I just said "Oh. OK... I'll stay here, then, for as long as you think is necessary" and then contacted someone to call the local news and see if I could get coverage. Because the idea that you can't just go home if you choose to opt out of the X-ray and the molest-a-pat is INSANE.
I'll just leave these here just in case you're not pissed off enough yet.
http://newsflavor.com/world/usa-canada/tampa-airport-full-body-scan-of-12-year-old-girl-without-parental-consent/
http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2010/11/14/its-come-to-this-tsa-screener-accosts-a-screaming-3-year-old/
http://www.sandiego6.com/news/local/story/Oceanside-Man-Challenges-TSA-over-Full-Body-Scan/8R9GewoD7EiDTs5oGRqj-g.cspx?rss=800
Well, someone has some balls.
"If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested." :lulz:
It also turns out that if you leave instead of being searched by one method or the other, you face a $10,000 fine.
Also:
Quote"Requiring that a potential passenger be allowed to revoke consent to an ongoing airport security search makes little sense in a post-9/11 world,'' the court noted, said Allen.
Yeah, violating the privacy of minors to keep America safe.
That's really giving it to the terrorists!
Thumbs up America. Thumbs up!
You think they'd be mad if I did a little bump and grind in the scanner?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 15, 2010, 04:08:07 PM
You think they'd be mad if I did a little bump and grind in the scanner?
No, but it'd make them uncomfortable.
If forced to go through a body scanner, I'd probably bend over and spread my asscheeks. I only wish I could see the Screener's reaction.
PIRATE PARTY ARE GO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZSEf_4F3jk
Yeah, the TSA CLEARLY really needs to be able to see the naked bodies of 12-year-old girls. For national security.
Also, the reports that it's been confirmed that those images are being saved in some cases, and can be printed out or sent over the internet, are just dirty rumors being spread by the terrorist-loving media, pay them no mind. No TSA employees would want naked pictures of you or your kids for any purpose other than to ensure that your little girl isn't smuggling explosives in her Underoos.
:argh!: :lulz:
New scanners mark 'victory' for lobbyists (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/15/new-scanners-mark-vi.html)
QuoteThe new "naked scanners" at the airport can't spot stuff inside body cavities, meaning that any terrorist with an explosive buttplug can wander right through, his unusual gait notwidthstanding. Why would such limited machines have been bought at such massive expense, given the inevitable outcry over their invasiveness? Because well-connected lobbyists worked awfully hard to convince politicians otherwise.
Quote from: Hover Cat on November 16, 2010, 01:54:54 AM
:argh!: :lulz:
New scanners mark 'victory' for lobbyists (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/15/new-scanners-mark-vi.html)
QuoteThe new "naked scanners" at the airport can't spot stuff inside body cavities, meaning that any terrorist with an explosive buttplug can wander right through, his unusual gait notwidthstanding. Why would such limited machines have been bought at such massive expense, given the inevitable outcry over their invasiveness? Because well-connected lobbyists worked awfully hard to convince politicians otherwise.
:horrormirth:
Why do I keep clicking on this thread. :cry: :x
Quote from: Tyrone on November 16, 2010, 02:08:04 AM
Why do I keep clicking on this thread. :cry: :x
For the same reason you can't turn away from a horrible 5 car pileup.
I approve of the TSA's actions.
Now every bastard has to suffer along the lines of what I've suffered for the past four years, anytime I've gone through an airport. And the best part?
The "terrorists" they're trying to capture will just board via unsecured airports in the Third World commonly used for drug running, or kidnap the families of TSA staffers to induce cooperation. Ha-ha, failed again, suckers!
SO LONG AS THERE IS A HUMAN ELEMENT INVOLVED IN PREVENTATIVE SECURITY MEASURES, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE PERFECT SECURITY.
Ironically, though, the best form of security is an informed and aware group of passengers, like the one who stomped the Underpants bomber before he could burn his pants off entirely. Barring cases like the Lockerbie bomber and the recent printer cartridge stupidity (which I still find fucking suspect, for the record) which can be deterred through careful screening of passenger luggage and cargo, the bomber themselves has to present on the plane...and they have to do some mighty suspicious actions to blow themselves up, like lighting matches and inserting them in odd places. Actions which people around them will notice, since, as terrorists, they're going to pick the most packed airplanes possible, for maximum effect.
But that would involve trusting people, something government and so-called security experts are especially loathe to do when it comes to security. Because providing security is the raison d'etre of government, and if you refuse a security expert's expertise, then they don't have a career.
I have a craving to sell t-shirts that say "I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A TSA EMPLOYEE" at airports around Christmas time.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on November 16, 2010, 03:16:39 PM
I have a craving to sell t-shirts that say "I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A TSA EMPLOYEE" at airports around Christmas time.
I can has?
Paint something on your chest/torso that reads something like, "I know you want to hit this." Or would the machines not pick that up?
Metallic nipple pasties.
ESPECIALLY if you're a man.
Quote from: Freeky on November 16, 2010, 04:55:12 PM
Metallic nipple pasties.
ESPECIALLY if you're a man.
With tassels?
write a fun EULA on your body.
example:
QuoteBy reading this you agree to give up all your rights as a TSA officer and have now undergone a binding contract to strip completely and immediately everytime you put someone through the scanner.
I think that the deal should be reciprocal; all of the TSA employees should be required to have backscatter images of themselves posted prominently around the airport.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 16, 2010, 04:24:03 PM
Paint something on your chest/torso that reads something like, "I know you want to hit this." Or would the machines not pick that up?
No, they wouldn't, that's not how it works.
Quote from: Golden Applesauce on November 16, 2010, 03:16:39 PM
I have a craving to sell t-shirts that say "I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A TSA EMPLOYEE" at airports around Christmas time.
Why wait for christmas?
Quote from: Lysergic on November 17, 2010, 01:48:49 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 16, 2010, 04:24:03 PM
Paint something on your chest/torso that reads something like, "I know you want to hit this." Or would the machines not pick that up?
No, they wouldn't, that's not how it works.
It would work just fine if you used a metal-infused paint.
Glitter paint would probably do the trick.
From Boingboing (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/new-aviation-risk-pl.html)
QuoteNDR, the German public radio broadcaster, reports that airport pornoscanners are unable to cope with pleats:
While some passengers are being asked to remove thicker clothes such as jumpers, NDR reported that the devices are regularly malfunctioning due to creases in lighter clothes such as blouses and skirts.
:lulz: Man, I'm going the glitter paint, thick sweater, and skirt route next time I fly.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2010, 01:51:25 AM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 17, 2010, 01:48:49 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on November 16, 2010, 04:24:03 PM
Paint something on your chest/torso that reads something like, "I know you want to hit this." Or would the machines not pick that up?
No, they wouldn't, that's not how it works.
It would work just fine if you used a metal-infused paint.
Fair point.
Quote from: Hover Cat on November 17, 2010, 02:12:48 AM
Glitter paint would probably do the trick.
From Boingboing (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/new-aviation-risk-pl.html)
QuoteNDR, the German public radio broadcaster, reports that airport pornoscanners are unable to cope with pleats:
While some passengers are being asked to remove thicker clothes such as jumpers, NDR reported that the devices are regularly malfunctioning due to creases in lighter clothes such as blouses and skirts.
:lulz: Man, I'm going the glitter paint, thick sweater, and skirt route next time I fly.
I like this. I like it A LOT. I like it so much that I'm going to wear a thick, tinselly sweater next time I fly, and nothing beneath it.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2010, 04:53:11 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on November 17, 2010, 02:12:48 AM
Glitter paint would probably do the trick.
From Boingboing (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/new-aviation-risk-pl.html)
QuoteNDR, the German public radio broadcaster, reports that airport pornoscanners are unable to cope with pleats:
While some passengers are being asked to remove thicker clothes such as jumpers, NDR reported that the devices are regularly malfunctioning due to creases in lighter clothes such as blouses and skirts.
:lulz: Man, I'm going the glitter paint, thick sweater, and skirt route next time I fly.
I like this. I like it A LOT. I like it so much that I'm going to wear a thick, tinselly sweater next time I fly, and nothing beneath it.
:fap:
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 17, 2010, 04:59:28 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2010, 04:53:11 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on November 17, 2010, 02:12:48 AM
Glitter paint would probably do the trick.
From Boingboing (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/new-aviation-risk-pl.html)
QuoteNDR, the German public radio broadcaster, reports that airport pornoscanners are unable to cope with pleats:
While some passengers are being asked to remove thicker clothes such as jumpers, NDR reported that the devices are regularly malfunctioning due to creases in lighter clothes such as blouses and skirts.
:lulz: Man, I'm going the glitter paint, thick sweater, and skirt route next time I fly.
I like this. I like it A LOT. I like it so much that I'm going to wear a thick, tinselly sweater next time I fly, and nothing beneath it.
:fap:
"What's that? Oh, no, sir; I don't mind taking off my sweater".
Penn from Penn and Teller having a go at airport security!
http://bit.ly/8YUNRg
I LOVE this. I hope he does talk more about it, because people need to know that the local police CAN do something when the TSA crosses the line.
http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/11/taiwanese-animators-recreate-tsa-junk-incident/
:lulz:
Quote from: Lysergic on November 17, 2010, 05:48:55 AM
Penn from Penn and Teller having a go at airport security!
http://bit.ly/8YUNRg
:lulz:
I LOVE the phrase "federal leather-sniffers"
I love Penn.
Tentative self promotion, ITT
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=27413.new#new
Quote from: Lysergic on November 17, 2010, 05:48:55 AM
Penn from Penn and Teller having a go at airport security!
http://bit.ly/8YUNRg
The horrible thing is that this article was written EIGHT years ago, and things have only gone downhill from there.
I do have a smidgen of hope for what Nigel's been saying, they might just have crossed the line with the intrusive patdowns, and things might actually change--a bit.
Check it out,
a republican from Texas is right on the money, so to speak:
Quote
"There is no evidence these new body scanners make us more secure. But there is evidence that former Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff made money hawking these full body scanners," Poe said.
"[T]he populace is giving up more rights in the name of alleged security. These body scanners are a violation of the Fourth Amendment right against unreasonable searches and seizures ... There must be a better way to have security at airports than taking pornographic photographs of our citizens, including children, and then giving apparent kickbacks to political hacks."
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/11/gop-lawmaker-naked-body-scanners-violate-fourth-amendment/
Ok, so now Boston Logan airport has changed the system -- instead of realistic images of passengers, they appear more as stick figures, with any suspicious objects highlighted.
Which is interesting, because it separates the issues of realistic images (ZOMG! Someone has a picture of my penis!) and possible violations of the 4th amendment.
If people settle down because of this change, then it becomes clear that they are far more concerned about keeping nudity taboo rather than protecting their liberties. Which is sad.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 01:56:51 PM
Ok, so now Boston Logan airport has changed the system -- instead of realistic images of passengers, they appear more as stick figures, with any suspicious objects highlighted.
Which is interesting, because it separates the issues of realistic images (ZOMG! Someone has a picture of my penis!) and possible violations of the 4th amendment.
If people settle down because of this change, then it becomes clear that they are far more concerned about keeping nudity taboo rather than protecting their liberties. Which is sad.
Do you have a link for this?
Quotethey are far more concerned about keeping nudity taboo rather than protecting their liberties. Which is sad.
ugh lmno, you're absolutely right.
Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both
parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard
Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush pride keeps
you from the pawn shops and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house
Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down
on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity
i hate youee cummings
At some level the x-ray is still taking the nude photo though, it's jsut presenting it in a different format.
Anyone concerned about the nudity aspect, I'd casually mention how long it would take a bored pervert employee to access them anyways.
Quote from: Freeky on November 18, 2010, 02:58:45 PM
Do you have a link for this?
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/11/17/more-concerns-surface-about-airport-body-scanners/
QuoteNaccara says soon, they won't be seen by anyone at all as better technology allows for a much more simplistic image.
"A stick figure. That's our goal. In fact we could be the first airport that gets it." Possibly, he said, within six months.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 01:56:51 PM
Ok, so now Boston Logan airport has changed the system -- instead of realistic images of passengers, they appear more as stick figures, with any suspicious objects highlighted.
Which is interesting, because it separates the issues of realistic images (ZOMG! Someone has a picture of my penis!) and possible violations of the 4th amendment.
If people settle down because of this change, then it becomes clear that they are far more concerned about keeping nudity taboo rather than protecting their liberties. Which is sad.
Fuck you're totally right... those crafty bastards. Someone realized that the vast majority are unconcerned with their liberties being taken away (or, like TripZip said, they would have been more outraged 9 years ago, when this all started) so much as they are afraid of everyone knowing exactly how small their cock truly is. Dammit.
I have to take my hat off to their slimy craftiness, though... brilliant really.
QuoteNational Opt-Out day ain't gonna do shit. Obviously the proper tactic here is to submit to the invasive search and then litigate. Litigate the fuck out of that shit. Accuse the people who touched you of rape, molestation, assault, etc. etc. Sue them in civil court. Get together a thousand fondled men and women and go for a class action. Demand a bajillion googleplex dollars for emotional harm. Tie up every TSA official in depositions and whatnot for the next thirty years. Require ACT clearances and their by-state equivalents of every screener. Demand citizen review boards. Keep shitting in the same toilet until the goddamn pipes explode.
http://whoisioz.blogspot.com/2010/11/opt-in-you-dummies.html
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 03:14:10 PM
Quote from: Freeky on November 18, 2010, 02:58:45 PM
Do you have a link for this?
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/11/17/more-concerns-surface-about-airport-body-scanners/
QuoteNaccara says soon, they won't be seen by anyone at all as better technology allows for a much more simplistic image.
"A stick figure. That's our goal. In fact we could be the first airport that gets it." Possibly, he said, within six months.
Excellent.
I think that enough energy has been focused on the potential health risks and lack of evidence that it increases security, at this point, that it won't go away on that basis alone.
At least, I hope not.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 03:14:10 PM
Quote from: Freeky on November 18, 2010, 02:58:45 PM
Do you have a link for this?
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/11/17/more-concerns-surface-about-airport-body-scanners/
QuoteNaccara says soon, they won't be seen by anyone at all as better technology allows for a much more simplistic image.
"A stick figure. That's our goal. In fact we could be the first airport that gets it." Possibly, he said, within six months.
So now we'll be getting X-rayed in order to show a stick figure. Which won't actually help screeners see anything suspicious.
Oh good.
Anyone have a credible link that fully describes any potential health risk?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 04:58:13 PM
Anyone have a credible link that fully describes any potential health risk?
http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/aviation/news/tsa-screening-pilots-health-fact-check
http://www.tsa.gov/assets/pdf/nist_rapiscan_secure_1000.pdf
Ok, the Popular Mechanics article states a pilot receives about 160 millirem a year from the solar radiation coming through the cockpit.
The backscatter gives off 2.4 microrems, or .024 milirems, or .00015% the amount.
The annual dose from holding "Fiesta Ware" pottery is about 2 to 3 rems. (http://users.rcn.com/jkimball.ma.ultranet/BiologyPages/R/Radiation.html)
So, yeah. In my opinion, simply driving to the airport wil expose you to more carcinogens than the backscatter machine.
But I'm sure that's not going to convince anyone who thinks that radiation is scary.
I honestly do have a problem with nude scans being taken of everyone's body, IF they aren't actually effective in reducing the risk of terrorism. That's not about me being a prude; I think it's an invasion of privacy for no real benefit.
I have an unequivocal problem with the "enhanced patdown" that's designed to keep people in line and behaving themselves like good little scared citizens.
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 06:54:32 PM
I honestly do have a problem with nude scans being taken of everyone's body, IF they aren't actually effective in reducing the risk of terrorism. That's not about me being a prude; I think it's an invasion of privacy for no real benefit.
Agreed; that's why I hope you would still object to the machine even if the images weren't nude.
QuoteI have an unequivocal problem with the "enhanced patdown" that's designed to keep people in line and behaving themselves like good little scared citizens.
Also agreed; both procedures are ineffective, coercive, manipulative, and are constitutional violations.
Also remember these scanners wouldnt have picked up the kind of explosive used by the Underpants Bomber - the reason they were brought in for in the first place.
Even if they did, Al-Qaeda would just find a way around them, which the TSA wont think of. Because the TSA, like most security agencies, is inherently reactive in how it deals with threats.
Al-Qaeda, on the other hand, are very pro-active in the field of coming up with new threats. And they have engineers and explosives experts who do nothing else but think about how to exploit security flaws in order to kill people.
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 06:54:32 PM
I honestly do have a problem with nude scans being taken of everyone's body, IF they aren't actually effective in reducing the risk of terrorism. That's not about me being a prude; I think it's an invasion of privacy for no real benefit.
I have an unequivocal problem with the "enhanced patdown" that's designed to keep people in line and behaving themselves like good little scared citizens.
"Enhanced".
Like "Enhanced Interrogation". Only now we're using the word on our own people.
Vertaine called this one YEARS ago.
Ahem...
It was a Wednesday morning. The JFK airport was jammed full of holiday travellers, desperate to get to Grandma's house so they could stuff their faces and watch the Patriots beat the living shit out of the Lions. Due to security concerns, there was a back up at the carry-on and basckscatter checkpoint. At the front of the line, a heavily armed man examined IDs and Boarding Passes before asking if the customer wanted to be irradiated or groped. Travellers were warned that there might be up to a two hour wait, and the line twisted and turned upon itself a half dozen times.
A flash of light, and a clap of thunder. No one noticed the pale-skinned man with dark hair and a parka that had just walked in the airport and went up to the end of the line. The bomb strapped to his chest was filled with nails and ball bearings, and ripped through the crowd like wet tissue paper. As the smoke cleared, the TVs overhead began broadcasting images of carnage from across the country, of terrorists bypassing the hijacking altogether, and killing Americans who were patiently waiting to be considered Safe.
Its exactly what I'd do, as a terrorist. Planes are ideal, but crowded places are also very good.
I'd though of that myself...And Cain, I have to disagree that planes are ideal.
If they kill people in the presence of the people allegedly keeping us safe, no end of hilarity would ensue. If they did it twice in a day, one on each coast, they could just sit back and watch us devour ourselves.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:11:00 PM
Ahem...
It was a Wednesday morning. The JFK airport was jammed full of holiday travellers, desperate to get to Grandma's house so they could stuff their faces and watch the Patriots beat the living shit out of the Lions. Due to security concerns, there was a back up at the carry-on and basckscatter checkpoint. At the front of the line, a heavily armed man examined IDs and Boarding Passes before asking if the customer wanted to be irradiated or groped. Travellers were warned that there might be up to a two hour wait, and the line twisted and turned upon itself a half dozen times.
A flash of light, and a clap of thunder. No one noticed the pale-skinned man with dark hair and a parka that had just walked in the airport and went up to the end of the line. The bomb strapped to his chest was filled with nails and ball bearings, and ripped through the crowd like wet tissue paper. As the smoke cleared, the TVs overhead began broadcasting images of carnage from across the country, of terrorists bypassing the hijacking altogether, and killing Americans who were patiently waiting to be considered Safe.
*shiver*
Quote from: Subetai on November 18, 2010, 07:12:22 PM
Its exactly what I'd do, as a terrorist. Planes are ideal, but crowded places are also very good.
It's because people forget that terrorism is about, you know,
creating terror, and not about stealing planes.
Well, there are lots of ideals, when it comes to killing lots of people.
But given so much has been put into "making planes safe" planes are actually a hard target now, at least in the public eye. So they would pretty much count as people being killed in the presence of people (well, systems) meant to keep them safe.
If I were doing this, I'd look for any cluster of citizens waiting to get through a single security point-- generally this means that all areas of approach other than that single point are unguarded.
For example, the entrance of any football statdium 30 minutes before kickoff.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:22:13 PM
If I were doing this, I'd look for any cluster of citizens waiting to get through a single security point-- generally this means that all areas of approach other than that single point are unguarded.
For example, the entrance of any football statdium 30 minutes before kickoff.
Or in WalMart at opening time on Black Friday.
Oh, and of course you realize that we're going to become "persons of interest" just for discussing this. :lol:
I'm pretty sure that because of my family, you all already have had information added to your files at the NSA.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:38:46 PM
I'm pretty sure that because of my family, you all already have had information added to your files at the NSA.
Yeah, well, let 'em. I've done nothing that I'm ashamed of, as shocked and disgusted as they may be.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:17:38 PM
Quote from: Subetai on November 18, 2010, 07:12:22 PM
Its exactly what I'd do, as a terrorist. Planes are ideal, but crowded places are also very good.
It's because people forget that terrorism is about, you know, creating terror, and not about stealing planes.
"It's not about MAKING money, it's about TAKING money" -Dr. Horrible
Quote from: Richter on November 18, 2010, 07:42:12 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:17:38 PM
Quote from: Subetai on November 18, 2010, 07:12:22 PM
Its exactly what I'd do, as a terrorist. Planes are ideal, but crowded places are also very good.
It's because people forget that terrorism is about, you know, creating terror, and not about stealing planes.
"It's not about MAKING money, it's about TAKING money" -Dr. Horrible
Same thought hit my brain at the same time. :lulz:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 18, 2010, 07:11:00 PM
Ahem...
It was a Wednesday morning. The JFK airport was jammed full of holiday travellers, desperate to get to Grandma's house so they could stuff their faces and watch the Patriots beat the living shit out of the Lions. Due to security concerns, there was a back up at the carry-on and basckscatter checkpoint. At the front of the line, a heavily armed man examined IDs and Boarding Passes before asking if the customer wanted to be irradiated or groped. Travellers were warned that there might be up to a two hour wait, and the line twisted and turned upon itself a half dozen times.
A flash of light, and a clap of thunder. No one noticed the pale-skinned man with dark hair and a parka that had just walked in the airport and went up to the end of the line. The bomb strapped to his chest was filled with nails and ball bearings, and ripped through the crowd like wet tissue paper. As the smoke cleared, the TVs overhead began broadcasting images of carnage from across the country, of terrorists bypassing the hijacking altogether, and killing Americans who were patiently waiting to be considered Safe.
This is really just a matter of time. EVERYONE has thought of it, which means that the actual terrorist masterminds thought of it first and are just biding their time. Another reason I don't fly (as if I need more reasons). TSA has created a perfect target.
I AM GOD, I'M IN CHARGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhkQoiaf7Uc
Yup, power definitely not going to their heads at all... :horrormirth:
Quote from: Lysergic on November 19, 2010, 02:04:16 AM
I AM GOD, I'M IN CHARGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhkQoiaf7Uc
Yup, power definitely not going to their heads at all... :horrormirth:
ASHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!
Freeky, are you posting all of these on your FB page? Or should I be on it?
Oshit I didn't know until now that TSA also has jurisdiction over buses. Really? BUSES?
MOTHERFUCKING TERRORISTS ON A BUS?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hT8hfrak9I
Quote from: Nigel on November 19, 2010, 02:17:20 AM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 19, 2010, 02:04:16 AM
I AM GOD, I'M IN CHARGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhkQoiaf7Uc
Yup, power definitely not going to their heads at all... :horrormirth:
ASHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!
Freeky, are you posting all of these on your FB page? Or should I be on it?
I already posted this one, but yeah, can anyone say, stanford prison experiment?
I'm only going to post one link a day now, so that the non-PD masses won't get overloaded with information. Feel free to post whatever you guys want to, though, it'll be very helpful. :)
On it!
http://feedstore.bigcartel.com/product/my-junk-is-da-bomb
:lol:
LMNO, I am going to be doing a lot of flying in several weeks.
You have now officially freaked me the fuck /out/.
Quote from: Lysergic on November 19, 2010, 02:04:16 AM
I AM GOD, I'M IN CHARGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhkQoiaf7Uc
Yup, power definitely not going to their heads at all... :horrormirth:
HOLY FUCK
Quote from: ϗ on November 19, 2010, 12:00:11 PM
LMNO, I am going to be doing a lot of flying in several weeks.
You have now officially freaked me the fuck /out/.
Whoopsie.
Ron Paul has introduced legislation to prevent TSA people from groping everyone.
Expect this to be voted against by sexually frustrated Congressmen, advised by their sexually frustrated policy experts and researchers, all of whom would have to pay at least $20 for the pleasure otherwise (or hunt down the Congressional Page).
Damn.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/11/19/national/main7070415.shtml
BAMP.
SNL did a fake phone sex/call girl commercial with this in mind: "Lonely, need to be felt up in all the most intimate places? THEN GO TO AN AIRPORT AND GO THROUGH SECURITY!"
I think this might get mitigated further (they already threw out the "kids have to be felt up too) as backlash continues...who knows.
I bet Larry Craig flies a lot now.
I imagine the wide stance helps move things along.
Quote from: Suu on November 22, 2010, 01:06:59 PM
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/11/19/national/main7070415.shtml
BAMP.
That happened at my local airport. So did this (http://www.wbtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13526724).
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on November 23, 2010, 02:15:08 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 22, 2010, 01:06:59 PM
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/11/19/national/main7070415.shtml
BAMP.
That happened at my local airport. So did this (http://www.wbtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13526724).
Wow, that post hit Godwin's Law on the 2nd comment. That's gotta be a new record.