Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Principia Discussion => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:26:16 PM

Title: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:26:16 PM
Well, since we fake Discordians have been thrown out based on what choices we have decided to make with out money, and/or what jokes we choose to laugh at, I'm restarting the First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus.

Now, while we may not be REALLY REAL Discordians, like those other guys, we do have a couple of advantages:

1.  No new rules for who qualifies.  Wanting to be in is the only qualification.

2.  You don't have to beg a friend to send Vex money.

3.  You don't have to be a REALLY REAL DISCORDIAN FOR REALNESS.  We don't demand a "spark of Discord", we only require that you know how to laugh, and have an urge to take a hacksaw to a leg of the cosmic barstool.

4.  You can be a Christian, Subgenius, Jew, or Hindu, and still get in.

Now, I realize that we may not enjoy the appeal of being REALLY REAL DISCORDIANS FOR REALNESS, but we can - believe it or not - still have a good time.  And I'm pretty sure we'll still be able to do it here.

We are, however, a polite organization, so we ask that you try not to get your poomp all over the ERS's (or whatever the hell it's called) shiny new improved and elite Discordianism.

Sign up isn't mandatory.  We don't keep rolls.  To join, you simply keep having fun without needing permission.

Or Kill Me.

ETA:  This wasn't funny or useful.  Forget I said anything.  Have fun with your New Discordia, it isn't for me.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: LMNO on November 12, 2010, 03:30:29 PM
I seem to be missing a link to that old "Notice of Compulsory Illumination" flyer.

It would have come in handy right now.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:31:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 12, 2010, 03:30:29 PM
I seem to be missing a link to that old "Notice of Compulsory Illumination" flyer.

It would have come in handy right now.

Not only do I not have it, I can't remember what you're talking about.   :?
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:33:31 PM
http://www.scribd.com/doc/19140862/Notice-of-Compulsory-Illumination
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:33:54 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:33:31 PM
http://www.scribd.com/doc/19140862/Notice-of-Compulsory-Illumination

BAH!

Websense.   :argh!:
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: LMNO on November 12, 2010, 03:36:01 PM
This is unformatted, but you may get the idea:



- POSTED -

NOTICE OF COMPULSORY ILLUMINATION
THANK YOU FOR DEMONSTRATING your knowledge of the English language. By
continuing to read this Notice, you hereby agree to be bound henceforth by the
following terms and conditions:

1. You agree not to allow others to do your thinking for you. This includes making the
assumption that the opinions expressed by newscasters, editors and pundits from media
outlets large or small, "Conservative" or "Liberal," are your own opinions.

2. You agree that you will not necessarily want to buy something just because there is a
commercial for it on TV.

3. You agree that advancement in life is not synonymous with a fattening bank account.

4. You agree that your beliefs are not inherently more valuable than other, even
conflicting, beliefs held by other people. You agree that you have neither an obligation nor
a license to decide what is best for others.

5. You agree not to obey laws simply because they are on the books. Rather, you shall
question the moral authority behind every legislative endeavor of every government. This
point is inclusive of your responsibility not to wait for unjust laws to be repealed before violating
them.

6. You agree to engage in activities resulting in excessive amounts of paperwork for
"Authority Figures." This is to slow the bastards' march toward totalitarianism, as well as to
discourage them from pursuing any further their career in being a pain in your ass.

7. You hereby deauthorize and denounce any notion you have until now espoused
which furthers in your mind the idea that the State is your Protector, because it is, in all
truth, the opposite.

Remember, Citizen: your compliance is not only requested, but is enforceable under this and
other Agreements, regardless of whether you are aware of them or not, or whether you have
already agreed or have yet to agree to them.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:46:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?

Yes.  Also the Welsh.  We're like the ULC, only with a penchant for assbaggery.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:47:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 12, 2010, 03:36:01 PM
This is unformatted, but you may get the idea:



- POSTED -

NOTICE OF COMPULSORY ILLUMINATION
THANK YOU FOR DEMONSTRATING your knowledge of the English language. By
continuing to read this Notice, you hereby agree to be bound henceforth by the
following terms and conditions:

1. You agree not to allow others to do your thinking for you. This includes making the
assumption that the opinions expressed by newscasters, editors and pundits from media
outlets large or small, "Conservative" or "Liberal," are your own opinions.

2. You agree that you will not necessarily want to buy something just because there is a
commercial for it on TV.

3. You agree that advancement in life is not synonymous with a fattening bank account.

4. You agree that your beliefs are not inherently more valuable than other, even
conflicting, beliefs held by other people. You agree that you have neither an obligation nor
a license to decide what is best for others.

5. You agree not to obey laws simply because they are on the books. Rather, you shall
question the moral authority behind every legislative endeavor of every government. This
point is inclusive of your responsibility not to wait for unjust laws to be repealed before violating
them.

6. You agree to engage in activities resulting in excessive amounts of paperwork for
"Authority Figures." This is to slow the bastards' march toward totalitarianism, as well as to
discourage them from pursuing any further their career in being a pain in your ass.

7. You hereby deauthorize and denounce any notion you have until now espoused
which furthers in your mind the idea that the State is your Protector, because it is, in all
truth, the opposite.

Remember, Citizen: your compliance is not only requested, but is enforceable under this and
other Agreements, regardless of whether you are aware of them or not, or whether you have
already agreed or have yet to agree to them.

We can get behind that, except for the compulsory part.

(How did I miss that?  When was it made?)
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 12, 2010, 03:49:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:46:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?

Yes.  Also the Welsh.  We're like the ULC, only with a penchant for assbaggery.

Sweet!
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: LMNO on November 12, 2010, 03:50:15 PM
It was made more than a few years ago.  I forget by whom.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:51:04 PM
It was made by vex  :lol:
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:51:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on November 12, 2010, 03:50:15 PM
It was made more than a few years ago.  I forget by whom.

I missed a lot of good stuff, back then.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: LMNO on November 12, 2010, 03:51:34 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:51:04 PM
It was made by vex  :lol:


OSNAP.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:52:02 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:51:04 PM
It was made by vex  :lol:

That must have been in his pre-bigot days.  Nevertheless, it's good stuff.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:53:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:52:02 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 12, 2010, 03:51:04 PM
It was made by vex  :lol:

That must have been in his pre-bigot days.  Nevertheless, it's good stuff.

I suppose, though, that it shouldn't be doctrine without his permission...And I don't think he'd approve of non-RRRDFC using it.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 04:07:36 PM
Well, he gave his permission, but I just can't seem to dredge up the humor I started with.

This joke doesn't seem as funny as it was last week. 

Thread over.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Telarus on November 12, 2010, 09:02:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:46:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?

Yes.  Also the Welsh.  We're like the ULC, only with a penchant for assbaggery.

:mittens:
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Requia ☣ on November 13, 2010, 01:19:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:46:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?

Yes.  Also the Welsh.  We're like the ULC, only with a penchant for assbaggery.

This is going too far.  What next, will you let in Canadians?
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 13, 2010, 04:52:20 AM
Quote from: Requia ☣ on November 13, 2010, 01:19:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 12, 2010, 03:46:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 12, 2010, 03:43:48 PM
Can stinky Irishmen given to Pagan folly join too?

Yes.  Also the Welsh.  We're like the ULC, only with a penchant for assbaggery.

This is going too far.  What next, will you let in Canadians?

Well, I hope so.  I did, after all, grow up in Newfoundland.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Don Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:14:08 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I had something but.........I forgot it4.

Also, drunk and retarded.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 13, 2010, 06:18:44 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:14:08 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I had something but.........I forgot it4.

Also, drunk and retarded.

Pretty much there myself.

Blight,
On beer Number 5
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Don Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:22:25 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:18:44 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:14:08 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I had something but.........I forgot it4.

Also, drunk and retarded.

Pretty much there myself.

Blight,
On beer Number 5
half of a 5th of whiskey. and I am thinking it might be a bad idea.

I am hoping I will feel the need to rant and upload said rant to youtube
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 13, 2010, 06:24:39 AM
What kind of whiskey?
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Don Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:27:22 AM
Jameson
I am not impressed.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 13, 2010, 06:30:43 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on November 13, 2010, 06:27:22 AM
Jameson
I am not impressed.

Jameson is hit or miss, I've noticed. Sometimes you get a crappy bottle. Sometimes you get a really awesome bottle. Normally I only drink it at a bar, so I try to judge it by the bar.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 13, 2010, 06:41:28 AM
That said if you want to go Irish, I have generally had good things to say about Bushmills (even if they're located in Antrim).
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Salty on November 13, 2010, 08:28:09 AM
Wild Turkey 101 or GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 13, 2010, 09:16:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I was more than that, and less, and I want to move back to Canada before I die.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Remington on November 13, 2010, 10:07:13 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 13, 2010, 09:16:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I was more than that, and less, and I want to move back to Canada before I die.
Vancouver Island is beautiful, if you can stand the rain and the hippies. Lots of small little towns hidden away up and down the coast.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 13, 2010, 10:10:39 AM
Quote from: Remington on November 13, 2010, 10:07:13 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 13, 2010, 09:16:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2010, 06:06:26 AM
You were part of the US military. That trumps any Canadian upbringing you American bastard.

I was more than that, and less, and I want to move back to Canada before I die.
Vancouver Island is beautiful, if you can stand the rain and the hippies. Lots of small little towns hidden away up and down the coast.

No, I have to go back to The Rock.
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 13, 2010, 03:17:02 PM
yay... east coast
Title: Re: First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 13, 2010, 03:22:06 PM
the East Coast is a weird place
in some parts it's almost as dismal as parts of northern ontario, but where NO crushes the individual, out on the coast the people seem to have somewhat embraced it. That is when their not moving to Alberta to "make their fortune", but hey they always find a way back.