Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: AFK on November 17, 2010, 04:47:08 PM

Title: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on November 17, 2010, 04:47:08 PM
Because the search thingy doesn't work, and I'm lazy....

Shall we begin? 



The college student decided to not pursue becoming a botanist because of the stigmas attached to the profession. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on November 17, 2010, 04:49:01 PM
The outcome of his decision to not use a condom eventually became a-parent.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on November 17, 2010, 04:51:30 PM
The knight was very sir-ly. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on November 17, 2010, 04:53:23 PM
Bestowing hand-crafted spice racks to the graduating culinary students is a thyme-honored tradition. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Placid Dingo on November 18, 2010, 07:39:32 AM
My mother almost caught me smoking but I put it out just in the nick'o'tine.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Lies on November 18, 2010, 07:53:39 AM
Ever since I called my mother in law a dog she won't won't stop hounding me about my own pedigree
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Lies on November 18, 2010, 07:59:29 AM
I once saw a cow save a pig from drowning. It was a very moo-ving experience, she really saved his bacon.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on November 23, 2010, 12:30:34 AM
The arborist likes to hosts parties in the autumn but is always sad when everyone leaves early. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 13, 2011, 05:50:36 PM
Late Breaking Noose:  The warden is a-frayed that the execution will knot take place due to equipment malfunction.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: The Johnny on January 13, 2011, 06:13:22 PM

All of this punishment is unbearable.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Adios on January 13, 2011, 06:31:45 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Adios on January 13, 2011, 06:34:14 PM
He couldn't be a nudist because the thought of being naked in front of others was unbareable.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 13, 2011, 06:40:25 PM
Quote from: Joh'Nyx on January 13, 2011, 06:13:22 PM

All of this punishment is unbearable.

There's actually a bigger thread, but the search can't seem to find it. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Pæs on January 13, 2011, 11:49:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 13, 2011, 06:40:25 PM
There's actually a bigger thread, but the search can't seem to find it. 
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12170.0
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 14, 2011, 11:05:01 AM
No, not that one.  There's another one in Apple Talk with a similar title to this one.  I started this one because I couldn't find the other one through the search, because it was buggered up. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Pæs on January 14, 2011, 12:12:11 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 14, 2011, 11:05:01 AM
No, not that one.  There's another one in Apple Talk with a similar title to this one.  I started this one because I couldn't find the other one through the search, because it was buggered up. 
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=25385.0
?
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 14, 2011, 01:13:21 PM
Yes!  The circle is complete. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Triple Zero on January 14, 2011, 02:45:57 PM
Now link all of them to eachother by editing the first post and you'll never lose them again!
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Pæs on January 15, 2011, 08:06:13 AM
X-Posted from Facebook, in response to complaints about difficulty studying Kant in Political Studies.

QuoteOh, dear. If you can't understand it are you likely Deleuze Marx? If you Kant quite do it, don't Strauss out. You've probably got too much on your Plato. Find a Neumann to study the work of. Or Locke all your study materials in a cupboard and take a break, if the work is too much of a Paine. Too much Kantian reading in one sitting should be ill-Hegel. Dewey want these terrible puns to stop? ROFL. (That's Rawls on floor laughing.)
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 15, 2011, 12:11:01 PM
I'll give it a 6/10.  You kind of have to really twist the pronunciation of a couple of those to make it work. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Jasper on January 15, 2011, 07:15:00 PM
I can't see "Kantian reading", but the rest are OK, if a bit done.  I liked "Deleuze Marx" though. :lol:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on January 16, 2011, 12:11:06 AM
We interrupt the puns for a riddle:

What is a ten letter word that starts with gas? 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2011, 12:12:45 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 16, 2011, 12:11:06 AM
We interrupt the puns for a riddle:

What is a ten letter word that starts with gas? 

Automobile.

Also gastronomy.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Triple Zero on January 16, 2011, 12:13:08 AM
gasstation?
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Pæs on January 16, 2011, 01:21:37 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 15, 2011, 07:15:00 PM
I can't see "Kantian reading", but the rest are OK, if a bit done.  I liked "Deleuze Marx" though. :lol:
It started with Deleuze Marx. The rest were just to make sure people were really sick of the puns.
Bolded is very true, and Kantian reading wasn't a pun :P
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Phox on March 15, 2011, 06:05:45 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 16, 2011, 12:11:06 AM
We interrupt the puns for a riddle:

What is a ten letter word that starts with gas? 
I demand to know the answer, you bastard!  :argh!:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 15, 2011, 06:59:29 PM
Your first guess was correct. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Phox on March 15, 2011, 07:01:13 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2011, 06:59:29 PM
Your first guess was correct. 
Awesome. Now continue with the puns.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 15, 2011, 07:02:49 PM
Can't.

Too much work. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Phox on March 15, 2011, 07:03:55 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2011, 07:02:49 PM
Can't.

Too much work. 
I WAS PROMISED AN UNPRECEDENTED ONSLAUGHT OF PUNNERY!  :crankey:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 15, 2011, 07:09:12 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on March 15, 2011, 07:03:55 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2011, 07:02:49 PM
Can't.

Too much work. 
I WAS PROMISED AN UNPRECEDENTED ONSLAUGHT OF PUNNERY!  :crankey:

O :mittens: NED!
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 15, 2011, 07:28:18 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on March 15, 2011, 07:03:55 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 15, 2011, 07:02:49 PM
Can't.

Too much work. 
I WAS PROMISED AN UNPRECEDENTED ONSLAUGHT OF PUNNERY!  :crankey:

I know, I know.  Tell that to my Directors. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 16, 2011, 05:10:16 PM
The customer was very angry when he discovered the bearista made a Boo Boo. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 16, 2011, 05:27:48 PM
Where does the telephone repair man keep his money?

Pole Vault. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 18, 2011, 04:13:35 PM
Ichthyologists spend a lot of time at the libraries studying micro fiche.  
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Freeky on March 20, 2011, 05:50:48 AM
:popcorn:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 25, 2011, 01:03:47 PM
Becca Laureate thought she might want to study something at the university her friend told her about - there was a degree of ambiguity there. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 25, 2011, 01:09:25 PM
The circus clown would've been wise to consult the material safety data sheet in the three-ring binder before using the glue. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Cuddlefish on March 25, 2011, 04:28:30 PM
This may be old for some of you, but here goes anyhow...

I entered ten puns into a pun contest with the hopes that at least one would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 28, 2011, 08:14:14 PM
I tried to master braille once, but I just couldn't get a feel for it. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 31, 2011, 05:35:19 PM
Linda was very touched when she received the felt coat as a gift. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Iron Sulfide on March 31, 2011, 07:19:04 PM
Quote from: Farka Zarcoberg on January 15, 2011, 08:06:13 AM
X-Posted from Facebook, in response to complaints about difficulty studying Kant in Political Studies.

QuoteOh, dear. If you can't understand it are you likely Deleuze Marx? If you Kant quite do it, don't Strauss out. You've probably got too much on your Plato. Find a Neumann to study the work of. Or Locke all your study materials in a cupboard and take a break, if the work is too much of a Paine. Too much Kantian reading in one sitting should be ill-Hegel. Dewey want these terrible puns to stop? ROFL. (That's Rawls on floor laughing.)

"it was the early late 80's, and I had just delivered a smashing lecture on the influence of German existentialism in Rock and Roll music, entitled, 'You, Kant, always get what you want."

[Hedwig]
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 07:20:30 PM
I just scored a POUND of hash.  :banana:

But the corned beef won't stay lit. :sadbanana:
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on March 31, 2011, 07:21:20 PM
 :lulz:

10/10
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: BadBeast on March 31, 2011, 09:14:44 PM
She was only the Admiral's daughter, but already her Naval base was filled with discharged seamen.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 02, 2011, 11:20:41 AM
(http://d3uwin5q170wpc.cloudfront.net/photo/98561_700b.jpg)

:x
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:14:03 PM
He was a groan.  Which is sort of like a grunt, but less enthusiastic.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Iron Sulfide on April 11, 2011, 08:50:06 AM
(http://i1117.photobucket.com/albums/k591/whom2/Holiness.jpg)
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on May 04, 2011, 04:38:07 PM
I had to dump Amanda Lynn the other day.  She was very picky and the relationship just had way too many strings attached. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on May 04, 2011, 04:48:18 PM
Ditch-diggers are hard to get a hold of because they are so entrenched in their job. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 07:40:36 PM
Quote from: R.W.H.N. on May 04, 2011, 04:38:07 PM
I had to dump Amanda Lynn the other day.  She was very picky and the relationship just had way too many strings attached. 

That's what you get for fiddling around with her.
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on June 10, 2011, 04:23:08 PM
Breaking Noose:  Man attempts suicide but fails.  Story at 11!
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on June 20, 2011, 03:28:13 PM
The surgeon made the first cut at the Open Mike talent show. 
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on June 20, 2011, 04:35:58 PM
If you receive an unwelcome proposal from a lover hand then a melon and say "I'm sorry but I can't elope."
Title: Re: Son of Unbridled Punnery. Bastard!
Post by: AFK on June 20, 2011, 04:50:45 PM
 :aaa: