Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 07:58:55 AM

Title: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 07:58:55 AM
As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.   Here's the conversation so far!

It was nice seeing your profile on Amateurmatch, my name is Emma ,from illinios in peoria ,i am 29 yrs old single with no kids,pls i am pleading in the name of God if you are here  for cyber sex or playing games don't bother to respond back because i am not here for head games nor kidding,I am new on here looking to meet the true love of my life and i will love to relocate with any man who will love me for who i am,i will like to know more about you and let's see where it goes from here.you there? emmasmith0@yahoo.com
BUZZ!!!
: Hi Emma,how did you get my emailaddress?
emmasmith0: Well i got  it  from AM   and  how long have  you been on the site?
l: I'dforgotten even making a profile, and I'm sure I didn't post my email address,
l: just checking it out now
emmasmith0: ok......My name is Emma ,i am 30 years  old,Am single with no kids, Height: 5'7",Weight: 110 lbs,Measurements:   32B-27-35,Hair Color: Blonde,Eye Color: green Bust Size 32 inches. Hips 35  inches. Waist 27 inches, I am a nice woman seeking for a caring and honest man  to spend the rest of my life with.I am looking for a man that is tender hearted,  kind, considerate of others needs,  I like to go out to dinner, go dancing, go to the  movies, workout, travel, see new things. I enjoy the simple things like the ocean,  cuddling at home watching a movie with someone special, I`m a extremely  romantic, passionate and affectionate woman.....and  you?
l: erm, 44, kind of in a relationship, 2 kids, (live with their mother) and a little bemused as to why AM gave out my email,
emmasmith0: well do you mind telling  me  what you do  for  a living  and where you live?
l: I live in the UK, and I'm unemployed,
emmasmith0: wow  what happened?
l: nothing really, I'm  just not working at the moment,
emmasmith0: whose fan are you in the English premier league?
: I don't follow football anymore, but I used to support Chelsea
emmasmith0: Wow that was my Team that i support too
l: Gota bit pricey to get up to see them, and I lost interset, so now I go fishing instead.
emmasmith0: lol
l: more relaxing, and safer.
emmasmith0: how long have  you  been on AM?
l: I think it was in the summer sometime. Hardly gave it a thought until your im popped up. I thought I'd been hacked,
emmasmith0: lol..
l: I'm trying to find my details on am now,
emmasmith0: well ........i was born and raised in peoria in IL and  am into buying and selling  of sculptures and mineral resources but i was adopted by my dad who was  berieved by kidney problem which led to death  but am presently lodging in a  motel in my ex guy country called Nigeria thinking of commiting suicide due to  what my ex did to me

l: that's a bit of a permanent solution, to a tempory problem isn't it?
emmasmith0: may be
l: can'tyougo back to the States?
l: are you stuck in Nigeria?
emmasmith0: well yeah  and that  was why i am tired of life  and looking  for  a serious  minded  man  who will love me           for who i am  and  who can help me  wih my consignment
l: consignment?
emmasmith0: yeah
l: what's that?
emmasmith0: While i was coming here, the african guy told me to come with enough money for investment and i even went to the extent to sell my inherited house just because i want to leave the states and make my self happy thinking i had finally found the man i have been waiting for all my life.I came in here with a total sum of $8.5 million USD which is all the money i realize from my Dad's business and contracts renumeration.
l: seems like a tidy sum,
emmasmith0: Because the African guy told me of an idea to investment in African Sculptures which i did never knew he was after my money.I was blindfolded with love thinking i have found someone i would spend the rest   of my life with.
l: but he took all your money, and dumped you?
emmasmith0: When i got here, he made all things possible means just to get the money from me and get away with my money.when i noticed this,i took the money and my traveling boxes and deposited it with a Security/Insurance Company here in nigeria in order to safe myself and my assets. Thereafter,i left the guy's apartment to an hotel where i am in right now and from which i am writing to you now.
l: Why don't you just take the money and go back to America then?
l: Let me guess,you need someone to help you get your assets out of Nigeria
emmasmith0: yeah  but i am ready to relocate  with who ever help me  with my boxes
l: If you put your boxes in the mail, I don't mind looking after them for you
emmasmith0: how  do you mean ?
l: In a parcel or something, I'm trustworthy, and I've only ever been to prison for driving offences 
emmasmith0: well it is in a security  company  and i don't  know  your  mind  whether you are interested  in me
l: I'm  willing to help, but I'm not interested in marrying you or anything,
l: and that is an awful lot of money,
l: (I am not interested in money though)
emmasmith0 is typing...

i understand   but if  you can help me  i promise you 15% of the money what about that ?
l: not sure how I could help,really.
emmasmith0: ok....I have  the name of the  company  and the deposit details  but  you will have  to contact  them and  tell them that you are  my fiancee and  you want the  boxes  shipped to you
l: they will want more than my word forthat though,
l: and how would they ship them to me?
l: (I don't have a bank account)
emmasmith0 is typing...
emmasmith0: Thanks for asking,this is all you needed done to get my boxes to  you,you will need to contact the insurance/security company to their e-mail and  tell them you are my fiancee and you want them to send you my boxes to your  home address.Their is a clearance fee thats needed to be paid which is $470 ,i will  want you to assist me to pay them the clearance fee for them to be able to ship  my boxes to youi got $8,500,000.00 inside the boxes.I will give you the unlocking  codes as soon as the boxes gets to you.      I am very glad to hear that you want to  help me out in getting my boxes to your home address.

Will post the rest in a short while
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Death on November 19, 2010, 08:03:17 AM
Siiigh.  I've got some weird memories in Peoria.
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Lies on November 19, 2010, 08:04:49 AM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:06:31 AM
I don't even have enough money to eat at the moment, there's no way I can put my hands on $470!
l: I wish I could!
emmasmith0: I know  you can  if you know  what you are  expecting  you can lend  or get  aloan  then as son as the boxes  get to you then i will give  you the  code  then you will take your 15%

then pay up  your  debt  and you will send me  some  to get my flight  to you  so from there  may be  if  you see me  you might change  your  mind  if you find me interesting to marry or not but i believe you will love me  when you see me i bet
l: why don't you send me the clearance fee in the post,then I can pay the Security

company?lol....i have  no penny on me  right now i am in a motel here  and the manager  said if i don't  pay up he won't  let me go out  and mind  you i didn't  tell anyone that the boxes  contains money  when depositing it  just to keep everything  safe i only tell the security company that it contains my clothes that i want  to send to the  states
Last message received on 19/11 at 07:56
l: Cant you tell them you need a change of clothes,then grab some of the money, send it to me, then I can help you out,


how  old are you?
l: 44
emmasmith0: are  you sure?
l: positive.
emmasmith0: lol ....And  you understand  what a company  is?
emmasmith0: i mean a shipping  company?
l: not really,
l: someone who sends stuff abroad?
emmasmith0 is typing...
emmasmith0: and does a company looks like  a boutique?
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:21:47 AM
well if you are willing  to help me  you will will ask for the company's  address and ask them may be  they can reduce  the shipping price  and i don't think shipping  fee from Nigeria  to UK will be that much because i only  told  you that of Nigeria  to United states

so what's their address then?
emmasmith0: This is the informations you needed for you to contact the company,please make  sure you send them my deposit details for them to know which lugagges you are  talking about.

ok
l: send me allthe details, then I'll emailyou later on today, when I've done it.
emmasmith0: MY DEPOSIT DETAILS......Depositor: Miss Tiffany Dominque, Boxes Description : 2 TRUNK BOXES, Deposit Certification#: 405576, Details Deposit#: GSC-0576-PIG45, Sort/Clearance Code:GSC/576-45/MP5633 Certification#: 405576

Ok,Got all that, I'll email them and see if they let me accept it, ok?
l: and I'll email you in a few hours and let you know what they said, ok?

COMPANY'S INFORMATION....Company's Name : GUARANTEE TRUST MORTGAGE SECURITY COMPANY,... Contact Email Address : GTMSCOMPANY@GMAIL.COM, Contact Person : MR. DAVID YOUNG
emmasmith0: Do you know  my full names?

l: tiffany domonique?

..
emmasmith0: Tiffany Emma Dominque   and you?

l: Neil Kinnock,
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:23:19 AM
Now she's getting pissy with me because I appear invisible to her!  Unbelievable!  :lulz:
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:24:51 AM
Quote from: Death on November 19, 2010, 08:03:17 AM
Siiigh.  I've got some weird memories in Peoria.
Did you know a girl called Emma Smith?
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:33:08 AM
 yeah but you haven't add me yet to yur list
l: whatlist?
emmasmith0: yahoo messenger you haven't  accept  my adding request
l: hang on, I'll see if it's there,
emmasmith0: ok
l: ok
emmasmith0 has signed back in. (19/11/2010 08:21)

emmasmith0: ok now but  why did you appear  invisible  to me?
l: I am invisible to everyone,
l: i prefer it like that
l: I'm going to have to go now emma, I'll email you back in a while, ok? Don't do anything stupid, will you?
emmasmith0: Nope  i won't
l: ok, good. I'll mail you this afternoon then, ok
emmasmith0: ok
l: bye then, go steady.
Alright  and  have  a lovely morning  and day ahead of  you
l: thank you, you too, bye, x
:

And that's that.  What's 15% of 8.5 million?   :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Death on November 19, 2010, 08:45:38 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 08:24:51 AM
Quote from: Death on November 19, 2010, 08:03:17 AM
Siiigh.  I've got some weird memories in Peoria.
Did you know a girl called Emma Smith?
Even being pretty generic, I don't know anyone with that name. 
Peoria is about 3 hours north and I used to go up there a lot for my wrestling tournaments. 
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Cain on November 19, 2010, 12:45:29 PM
Scam her back. It's always quite fun, to do that.  I remember when Neurocam did that, years ago....no money, but they strung along the scammer for ages.
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 01:06:38 PM
Quote from: Subetai on November 19, 2010, 12:45:29 PM
Scam her back. It's always quite fun, to do that.  I remember when Neurocam did that, years ago....no money, but they strung along the scammer for ages.
I'm thinking of actually emailing the "Security Company" at gmail.com  :lulz:  and trying to cut a deal with the Shipping Agent, David, (Her Boyfriend/Pimp) for half the money. Tell him there's $8.5m in a certain consignment, and for a 10% "goodwill" payment, I'm willing to give him the details.   :fap: I can't believe they actually ever catch anyone out like this. As soon as I saw "Nigeria" in her IM, it was like, "Ah, I see". I'd still be interested to know where they hacked my fucking email add from though.  Mr Kinnock will be furious!  :argh!:
If I email them back, I'll post ithere too.
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 19, 2010, 01:12:17 PM
QuoteI am new on here looking to meet the true love of my life

QuoteWhen i got here, he made all things possible means just to get the money from me and get away with my money.when i noticed this,i took the money and my traveling boxes and deposited it with a Security/Insurance Company here in nigeria in order to safe myself and my assets. Thereafter,i left the guy's apartment to an hotel where i am in right now and from which i am writing to you now.

I'm in Nigeria in a hotel, I stored all my money in a Nigerian "security company", so I thought the best thing I should do right now is get online to a datingsite and try to find the love of my life. Because, you know, that'd be the sensible thing to do at such a moment.

Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: Lies on November 19, 2010, 01:13:46 PM
Might find some inspiration here (http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/).

At the very least, there are lots of boob shots in the fan section for some reason.
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 01:53:50 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 19, 2010, 01:13:46 PM
Might find some inspiration here (http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/).

At the very least, there are lots of boob shots in the fan section for some reason.
Lys, you funny fucker! That site had me in stitches! (While at the same time restoring my faith in ebola, monkeys, and The Lulz. (Who were widely rumoured to have died)
(http://imgur.com/dhy0x.jpg)
I see now that it can't be true. Have to go now, and write to a Mr Ivannastiff Kockupmianus. 
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 01:58:42 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 19, 2010, 01:12:17 PM
QuoteI am new on here looking to meet the true love of my life

QuoteWhen i got here, he made all things possible means just to get the money from me and get away with my money.when i noticed this,i took the money and my traveling boxes and deposited it with a Security/Insurance Company here in nigeria in order to safe myself and my assets. Thereafter,i left the guy's apartment to an hotel where i am in right now and from which i am writing to you now.

I'm in Nigeria in a hotel, I stored all my money in a Nigerian "security company", so I thought the best thing I should do right now is get online to a datingsite and try to find the love of my life. Because, you know, that'd be the sensible thing to do at such a moment.

You may laugh, but it had me going for ages. Something about the way she so naively said "why i am tired of life  and looking  for  a serious  minded  man  who will love me for who i am and  who can help me  wih my consignment"
I mean, what kind of red blooded man wouldn't fall for that?  I'm getting another boner right now, just typing it out like this!  
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 19, 2010, 04:39:38 PM
My conscience wouldn't let this lie. So I wrote to Mr David, with this missal.


Dear Mr David Young,
It has come to my attention, a wrongness in your shipping department, and as a lifelong believer in lawfulness, and all things to be above board and truthful, I feel it my christian duty, to send this notification for your perusal. There is, among your consignments that are bound for the United American States, a large amounts of money, wrongly labelled as boutique materials. I am honour bound not to reveal the personage of to whom it is belonging, but I would not like to think your lawful company is being compromised, or otherwise entrapped in illegal monies being shipped away from Nigeria, (A struggling and honest Democracy) The amounts of money involved, I believe, is $8.5 millions of Dollars, so you see, if I were to say nothing, and then you, yourself became unwittingly legally troubled by this fraudulently labelled packages, then my conscience would not let me sleep easily. I have the details of this consignment, and for a goodwill payment, or finders fee, of 10%, 850k USD (Which I shall be donating to various Charitable works of the Christian Churches) I will, myself, furnish you with the details of  Deposit Certification #, & Details of Deposit #, & Sort/Clearance code,  etc, so that you may take the appropriate actions. If I do not hear back from you in 2 days, I will assume this email was wrongly addressed, and you can rest assured I will be best advising your Nigerian Government of my findings so that they might stop any actions which may not be legally Taxing, and the right thing will be done. However, I see no need to involve the bothering of Government in this matter, as I am sure you are upright man and will take the right steps to resolve any issues as to the proper actions to take.
Your's, sincerity in good christian faith,
                                                       Neil Kinnock (Mr)
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: The Johnny on November 21, 2010, 11:08:18 PM

and badbeast was never heRad from again

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
Title: Re: As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
Post by: BadBeast on November 21, 2010, 11:28:48 PM
Wishful thinking, I'm afraid you're all stuck with me.

BadBeast. Harder to get rid of than Herpes.

(I didn't hear back from Nigeria though)