Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: Prince Glittersnatch III on December 07, 2010, 04:17:17 AM

Title: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on December 07, 2010, 04:17:17 AM
Homeland Security 'messages' coming to Walmart, hotels, malls

Shoppers at Walmart will soon have something other than glossy magazines and chewing gum to look at when in the checkout line: A "video message" from the Department of Homeland Security asking shoppers to look out for "suspicious" activity and report it immediately.

It's part of a new Department of Homeland Security program that could see Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano's face on video screens in malls, retail outlets and hotels across the United States.

The Walmart video, which will soon be launched at 230 locations nationwide and may eventually be expanded to nearly 600 locations in 27 states, features Napolitano thanking the retailer by name for participating in the program.

Napolitano then says: "If you see something suspicious in the parking lot or in the store, say something immediately. Report suspicious activity to your local police or sheriff. If you need help, ask a Walmart manager for assistance."

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/12/homeland-security-messages-coming-walmart-hotels-malls/


My only question is, why?
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:28:03 AM
To be good little Citizens and help Big Brother.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart.
Post by: Phox on December 07, 2010, 04:33:23 AM
Big Brother loves you. Big Brother only has your best interest at heart. So tell Big Brother if you see any of the the scary people who don't look like you do something badwrong. Big Brother will keep you safe, so consume, consume, consume.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:36:34 AM
If anyone has ever seen people of walmart, the entire institution is suspicious. Should make constant calls from pay phones reporting all kinds of weird shit.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on December 07, 2010, 04:38:41 AM
I just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Phox on December 07, 2010, 04:39:15 AM
Equating consumerism with safety.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: The Wizard on December 07, 2010, 04:41:00 AM
QuoteI just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?

It's the largest department store chain in America. Tons of people go to Wal-Mart, hell in my area its the redneck equivalent to the mall. It pretty much allows these Bastards to hit as many people with this as possible.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Don Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:43:13 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on December 07, 2010, 04:38:41 AM
I just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?


I think it might be because the majority of walmart shoppers appear to be teabaggers and other such supporters of the guvment cracking down on terrorists.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Don Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:45:01 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 07, 2010, 04:41:00 AM
QuoteI just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?

It's the largest department store chain in America. Tons of people go to Wal-Mart, hell in my area its the redneck equivalent to the mall. It pretty much allows these Bastards to hit as many people with this as possible.

THAT IS IT I AM KILLING MY FUCKIGN INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YUO ALL!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: The Wizard on December 07, 2010, 04:46:41 AM
QuoteTHAT IS IT I AM KILLING MY FUCKIGN INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YUO ALL!!!!!!!

Enhance your calm, John Spartan. What's the matter?
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Phox on December 07, 2010, 04:51:26 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:45:01 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 07, 2010, 04:41:00 AM
QuoteI just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?

It's the largest department store chain in America. Tons of people go to Wal-Mart, hell in my area its the redneck equivalent to the mall. It pretty much allows these Bastards to hit as many people with this as possible.

THAT IS IT I AM KILLING MY FUCKIGN INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YUO ALL!!!!!!!

The Ministry of Love has dispatched Thought Police to your location. Do not resist. You will be escorted to Room 101 immediately.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Don Coyote on December 07, 2010, 04:54:05 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 07, 2010, 04:46:41 AM
QuoteTHAT IS IT I AM KILLING MY FUCKIGN INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YUO ALL!!!!!!!

Enhance your calm, John Spartan. What's the matter?

:lulz:

You posted something similar to what I was posting, but snuck through because my interwebz needz to be STABBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: The Wizard on December 07, 2010, 04:56:11 AM
QuoteYou posted something similar to what I was posting, but snuck through because my interwebz needz to be STABBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mm. Thought so, but wasn't sure. I hate it when that happens.

Anyway, great minds think alike? Or in the same gutter...

Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Salty on December 07, 2010, 05:16:23 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on December 07, 2010, 04:38:41 AM
I just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?


Man, have you ever been to a walmart? It is the collection place of all the glassy-eyed, mouthless, soulless, mindless FREAKS of America. It doesn't matter how shitty the place and the people and the products are; it doesn't matter how many class-action lawsuits or cold hard business practices they are involved in; it doesn't matter how many people get trampled to death in their yearly sales: it is THE BIG ONE.

Walmart IS America. It is the home of all the bottom-feeding, ignorant shinecks as well as the well-bred, over/undereducated shitnecks. No matter what they sell, do, say, think, enforce PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SHOP THERE.

THAT is prime breeding ground.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Cain on December 07, 2010, 11:15:18 AM
Hillary Clinton represented Walmart in several cases, did she not?  Back in her lawyering days, naturally.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 07, 2010, 12:43:05 PM
Quote from: Alty on December 07, 2010, 05:16:23 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on December 07, 2010, 04:38:41 AM
I just dont understand, why walmart?
What do they hope to accomplish?


Man, have you ever been to a walmart? It is the collection place of all the glassy-eyed, mouthless, soulless, mindless FREAKS of America. It doesn't matter how shitty the place and the people and the products are; it doesn't matter how many class-action lawsuits or cold hard business practices they are involved in; it doesn't matter how many people get trampled to death in their yearly sales: it is THE BIG ONE.

Walmart IS America. It is the home of all the bottom-feeding, ignorant shinecks as well as the well-bred, over/undereducated shitnecks. No matter what they sell, do, say, think, enforce PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SHOP THERE.

THAT is prime breeding ground.
This.  The people that shop there also seem to be the loudest complainers about the loss of manufacturing jobs to China, apparently not realizing that they, the Walmart shoppers, are a major driving force of that trend.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 07, 2010, 12:49:56 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 07, 2010, 11:15:18 AM
Hillary Clinton represented Walmart in several cases, did she not?  Back in her lawyering days, naturally.
She did.  Also, Walmart is based in Arkansas, and Hillary Clinton was on the board of directors for six years while her husband was Governor, and she was (maybe still is, I don't know) a major shareholder.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Cain on December 07, 2010, 01:02:40 PM
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on December 07, 2010, 12:49:56 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 07, 2010, 11:15:18 AM
Hillary Clinton represented Walmart in several cases, did she not?  Back in her lawyering days, naturally.
She did.  Also, Walmart is based in Arkansas, and Hillary Clinton was on the board of directors for six years while her husband was Governor, and she was (maybe still is, I don't know) a major shareholder.

I didn't know about the Board of Directors bit.  But that is definitely some major political clout.  I'll have to look into Clinton's statements about sweatshops and the economy in China, Indonesia etc now to see what kind of influence that may be exerting.  Thanks.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: AFK on December 07, 2010, 01:26:16 PM
They should've had that shit up on Black Friday.  I'm pretty sure shoppers trampling each other to get a $20 toaster oven is a bit of a security issue. 
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2010, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on December 07, 2010, 04:17:17 AM
My only question is, why?

Because WalMart shoppers are The Fear's™ base.  If they can get the yokels thinking about helping Uncle Sugar catch those durned terra'rists, they won't be so inclined to bitch as they get repeatedly fist-fucked by Obama and the new congress.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 07, 2010, 05:19:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2010, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on December 07, 2010, 04:17:17 AM
My only question is, why?

Because WalMart shoppers are The Fear's™ base.  If they can get the yokels thinking about helping Uncle Sugar catch those durned terra'rists, they won't be so inclined to bitch as they get repeatedly fist-fucked by Obama and the new congress.

This.

It's like recycling deposits, only without the (perceived) reduction in landfill input. You know, without any kind of actual positive impact on anything that matters.

This is NOT about stopping/reducing the actual threat of terrorism, such as it exists.


Frankly, I think the Great American Reality Show really needs to wrap up this season, soon. I'm getting fucking tired of the reruns and constant building of dramatic tension without any goddamn plot resolution.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 07, 2010, 06:31:55 PM
This is just another symptom of the decay of the Empire. Relax; it'll all be over soon.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2010, 06:38:15 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 07, 2010, 06:31:55 PM
This is just another symptom of the decay of the Empire. Relax; it'll all be over soon.

WATCH THAT LAST STEP!  IT'S A DOOZY!   :lulz:
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Adios on December 07, 2010, 06:40:31 PM
Please prepare yourself for your implant, trust us, it's for your own good.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 07, 2010, 06:45:39 PM
Oh lawdy. The nearest Wal-Mart serves a lot of this area's Muslim community. I cannot WAIT for some redneck fuck to come down out of the sticks, walk in there, see half the people in burkas and assorted non-standard white bread clothing - then shit his pants on the way to the nearest phone. I am tempted to spend more time there, waiting for this to happen.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: LMNO on December 07, 2010, 06:46:56 PM
See if you can time it with one of the traditional prayer hours.
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 07, 2010, 07:20:18 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2010, 06:38:15 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 07, 2010, 06:31:55 PM
This is just another symptom of the decay of the Empire. Relax; it'll all be over soon.

WATCH THAT LAST STEP!  IT'S A DOOZY!   :lulz:

:lulz:
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: the last yatto on December 07, 2010, 08:39:18 PM
Doesn't Walmart owe back taxes?
Title: Re: Homeland security and Walmart are BFFs
Post by: Persona Facade on December 09, 2010, 05:34:42 AM
Well people like Walmart. Makes sense that the government would choose to use Walmart to test the new program.
Not to mention Walmart probably owes the government for turning a blind eye to some of their activities.

If anything it'll be fun to watch the video the next few times I visit Walmart.

Refer to this site: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/)
I wonder what type of people will be hysterically reported.