Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Richter on January 10, 2011, 11:56:43 PM

Title: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 10, 2011, 11:56:43 PM
IKEA?  That degenerate pit of scum and kitsch?   The Elemental Plane of "That looks shiny!"

Why the hell not.

Just keep in mind that I'm going beyond allen wrenches here.  More like a boarding axe and a hanger for the shopping.  Extra rivets, drywall screws and a hammer drill to "expedite" assembly.  They will recall why the Helmsteadr line LEFT their country, and why they should enver tempt them to come back.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 02:06:34 AM
You're fucking coming with me to get the stuff too. I may need you to keep GS from being distracted like the last time we went. Bring the grue, we may need them.

Plus: Where ELSE am I going to spend $500 and buy enough stuff to furnish an entire fucking apartment in one shot?! I don't trust Craigslist or anything 2nd hand, Wal-Mart is...well...Wal-Mart, and Target doesn't carry everything I need in-store, and they don't ship to the store like Wal-Mart does so that's extra money.

My desk already is IKEA. We just won't tell ANYONE that I'm doing a whole room in IKEA, that breaks a lot of rules of interior design.

No really, my list so far:

Futon bed
Dresser
Swivel Chair
Couple of shelves
End table
laundry basket
phenomenally orange bathroom accessories
closet organizer

Really, nothing...scary. I mean, I could MAKE it scary...If I get that other scholarship and my taxes look good, I will drop a grand. I need furniture and that's the best place to get everything I need in a modular form, even if it'll make me look like Eurotrash.

They also have really useful shit for my kitchen, like an island on wheels.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 02:09:23 AM
...I'm bringing my camera. We're going to have to document this experience.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:25:51 AM
You have hired a Sherpa right?  This shit is NOT going down without a Sherpa.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 02:28:30 AM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:25:51 AM
You have hired a Sherpa right?  This shit is NOT going down without a Sherpa.

(http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/c-23_sherpa.jpg)

?
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:53:20 AM
That will work too.  :lulz:
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: the last yatto on January 11, 2011, 03:18:37 AM
To be authentic you need a yellow vw bug
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 03:25:52 AM
That's certain to authentically bottom out the suspension
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 11, 2011, 11:40:45 AM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:25:51 AM
You have hired a Sherpa right?  This shit is NOT going down without a Sherpa.

every time I have to go to IKEA I take my mum's husband who works there. it helps me not spend too much money and i get to know the short cuts around stuff.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 01:01:19 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on January 11, 2011, 11:40:45 AM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:25:51 AM
You have hired a Sherpa right?  This shit is NOT going down without a Sherpa.

every time I have to go to IKEA I take my mum's husband who works there. it helps me not spend too much money and i get to know the short cuts around stuff.

The trick is to not walk through the showroom unless you have to. You walk through the showroom and you're done.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:17:15 PM
We tried not to last time.  It turned out the numbers on everything from the website were not the same ones they had in the warehouse.  We HAD to expose ourselves to the endless piles of crap to get the store - specific ones.  Fucking Evil. 
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 02:19:56 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 02:17:15 PM
We tried not to last time.  It turned out the numbers on everything from the website were not the same ones they had in the warehouse.  We HAD to expose ourselves to the endless piles of crap to get the store - specific ones.  Fucking Evil. 

I would LIKE to look at the futons first, so we just have to beeline, and not get distracted. You know what got us the last time? Lighting. They have ...awesome lights.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 03:16:53 PM
I'm fixing to grab another cheap matress too.  Need to bulk the pile back up, and have one on - hand for events. 

I still remember the last venture...

Herbet: "Ooh.. cool...."

Richter: "FOCUS man!      ...oooh, shiny...DAMNIT!"

Then they had gluug by the register.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 03:25:24 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 03:16:53 PM
I'm fixing to grab another cheap matress too.  Need to bulk the pile back up, and have one on - hand for events. 

I still remember the last venture...

Herbet: "Ooh.. cool...."

Richter: "FOCUS man!      ...oooh, shiny...DAMNIT!"

Then they had gluug by the register.

And then the tire happened.

...And I was stuck at home with your psycho ex trying to teach her how to sew.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 03:44:45 PM
 :lulz:  Ah, what a clusterfuck.


Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 04:00:52 PM
Don't worry, I plan to provide ample amounts of inspiration as we attempt to put all this shit together.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Triple Zero on January 11, 2011, 05:56:24 PM
Hey, IKEA is pretty good. Just don't expect the furniture to last very long unless you're real careful about it. But then, you probably don't want it to last very long, it's cheap enough and that way you can gradually replace it one-by-one with cooler stuff you find good deals for over the years.

Also, personally, I trust second-hand better than IKEA, especially the charity/thrift furniture stores sometimes have AWESOME vintage 50s stuff that'll easily last another decade or so. But then, that'll cost you a lot of time, scouting, and you don't have to mind that the majority probably used to belong to the deceased.

And the big IKEA stores, they are like psychotecture to my mind. The kind that LMNO used to write about in LMNO-PI. It wears me down, too much impressions, too much obvious sales techniques, too big, too loud, I don't last very long in those places.

I do agree about the lights, though. Super-cheap and they have the weirdest designs (some even come with an energy-saving bulb in it and are still 5 euros including the cool abstract painted glass thingy! A normal energy-saving bulb sometimes costs more than 5 euro already!).

A while back the Dutch IKEAs had all sorts of faux-70s-vintage designs, that was pretty awesome. Lots of orange-green-brown-yellow colours, rounded rectangle patterns, etc.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 11, 2011, 05:57:49 PM
it was the soft furnishings that did me in last time, even with staff discount... the sherpa left me unattended :lulz:
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 06:19:38 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 11, 2011, 05:56:24 PM

Also, personally, I trust second-hand better than IKEA, especially the charity/thrift furniture stores sometimes have AWESOME vintage 50s stuff that'll easily last another decade or so. But then, that'll cost you a lot of time, scouting, and you don't have to mind that the majority probably used to belong to the deceased.


And fucking bedbugs.  :argh!:

-Suu
Is paranoid and scarred for life.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:17:21 PM
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 12, 2011, 07:02:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:17:21 PM
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.

My mattress was "reselected" meaning someone bought it, used it for 30 days or less, and returned it after deciding they didn't like it.  It was $75 for a bed that was originally $800.

I told myself that it was taken back after an old syphilitic whore with festering, weeping sores died while getting gangbanged by scabrous Republican congressmen.  I figure if I can comfortably sleep knowing the most disgusting possible thing happened to it, then I'm in alright shape.

I am inordinately happy with this mattress.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: the last yatto on January 13, 2011, 07:12:48 AM
Getting swedish fish tomorrow

O and the "spoling" changing table
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: the last yatto on January 13, 2011, 07:14:48 AM
And that's it[/famous last words]
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 12:36:19 PM
Quote from: Able on January 13, 2011, 07:12:48 AM
Getting swedish fish tomorrow

O and the "spoling" changing table

Yes.

But they're REAL Swedish fish.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Triple Zero on January 13, 2011, 05:23:53 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 12, 2011, 07:02:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:17:21 PM
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.

My mattress was "reselected" meaning someone bought it, used it for 30 days or less, and returned it after deciding they didn't like it.  It was $75 for a bed that was originally $800.

I told myself that it was taken back after an old syphilitic whore with festering, weeping sores died while getting gangbanged by scabrous Republican congressmen.  I figure if I can comfortably sleep knowing the most disgusting possible thing happened to it, then I'm in alright shape.

I am inordinately happy with this mattress.


Weeeeeeeeeeeelll ... hmm matresses are expensive and that's a pretty fecking sweet deal, I might budge to that as well.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 13, 2011, 06:27:09 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 13, 2011, 05:23:53 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 12, 2011, 07:02:31 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:17:21 PM
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.

My mattress was "reselected" meaning someone bought it, used it for 30 days or less, and returned it after deciding they didn't like it.  It was $75 for a bed that was originally $800.

I told myself that it was taken back after an old syphilitic whore with festering, weeping sores died while getting gangbanged by scabrous Republican congressmen.  I figure if I can comfortably sleep knowing the most disgusting possible thing happened to it, then I'm in alright shape.

I am inordinately happy with this mattress.


Weeeeeeeeeeeelll ... hmm matresses are expensive and that's a pretty fecking sweet deal, I might budge to that as well.

Remember kids, all standards are forfeit in the face of a good deal!
              /
            :roflcake:
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Adios on January 13, 2011, 06:30:13 PM
I'm going out on a limb here and guessing this is a furniture store........
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 07:21:04 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 13, 2011, 06:30:13 PM
I'm going out on a limb here and guessing this is a furniture store........

It's the amusement park of furniture stores as only the Swedes can deliver.
Title: Re: SUU! Explain this Shit!
Post by: the last yatto on January 13, 2011, 08:50:52 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 12:36:19 PM
Quote from: Able on January 13, 2011, 07:12:48 AM
Getting swedish fish tomorrow

O and the "spoling" changing table

Yes.

But they're REAL Swedish fish.


SUGAH!

Might get another treasure chest too